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 Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:02 pm
”Scum of the Earth, that’s what this place is producing. And you, you protect what?”
The Dratini slithered through the rocks with ease, dodging in and out of view as Mila jumped after her. She’d jump from rock to rock, fists balled at all times. The Dratini did not use words to respond to Mila, instead she flew out from her hiding spot, flailed in the air, redirected, and burst towards Mila with surprising speed. Mila spun, her fist flying just in time to meet with Dratini’s face. The Dratini made a muffled groaning sound, but fought through the pain and whipped her tail into Mila, an aura surrounding it as it cut into Mila’s face. It felt like a razor blade as it dragged across her, a small line of blood forming as Mila’s fist struck out and grabbed the tail before it could escape reach. It cut her hand just like it cut her face, but it was not as strong, and she held fast. The Dratini stretched out, then whipped back like she had been made of rubber. Mila jumped onto one foot and swung the body into the rocks, causing the whole pile to tremble. Another muffled groan as Mila let go and jumped backwards and out of immediate reach. The Dratini twitched, and for a moment Mila thought it was over.
Otis kept his steady crawl forward, stopping and hunching over only once, when the Dratini’s body met with the rock wall hard. He was sure the whole thing would collapse, and he would be crushed along with the eggs. But the possibility of saving them from the fate he feared kept him going. He would not allow them to be crushed if he could.
Sola balled up a fist and drew it back, Hannah did the same. Auras surrounded their fists, a blue aura for Sola, a red one for Hannah. As the auras grew, each opened their hands. Their claws looked like large and curved knives, complete with serrated edges. They looked like fatal weapons, and each flung them at each other with matched speed. Sola went for the neck, while Hannah went for her face. She got a goggle, and Sola found her neck. The sound was a blend of skin-ripping and gurgled screams. The two shrieked and flew backwards. Panting, Sola raised a hand to her eye, the goggle was gone, it seemed. Hannah had a paw wrapped around her thin neck, blood gushing through her fingers. Each opened their mouths, same colored auras from before started forming inside. As their hyper beam was released, they met in the middle, and the faceoff began.
The Dratini flicked and was out of sight. Mila jumped another foot back, her eyes scanning the rock formation, looking for a sign of movement, a misplaced color. Blood was matting her fur, but she tried not to notice. She wiped a hand on a rock, trying to smudge off some of the blood that kept filling it. From behind her, the Dratini emerged fast, flying up into the air, then dive bombing back towards Mila. Mila sidestepped, drew her arm up and into herself, and then batted it at the Dratini before she could kamikaze herself into the rock formation. Her plan was to take them with the eggs, and just end it, but Mila would not allow it. Her karate chop had got the Dratini just below her head, where she figured her spine started, or whatever was in place for a spine. Mila felt the ‘bone’ crack beneath her wrist, and the Dratini flung out in the middle of the dome, a kink in her neck. Mila wiped her mouth with the back of her good paw, and spat out a gob of spit towards the Dratini.
Otis disappeared into the hole, his tail flicked before it disappeared through the entrance. Beyond the cave in were more rocks, but there was a small tunnel like thing for Otis to try and crawl through. He had to try and stretch to reach the next set of rocks, tiny holes where he could fall through and get stuck. He gulped as he squeezed through some tight spots, stretching again while squeezing, trying to reach what looked like an opening…
Sola’s hyperbeam was overpowering Hannah’s. Hannah had been wounded worse than Sola, who could fight through the sickening pain. Hannah was struggling to breath, and struggling to stand up due to the blood loss. She wanted to tell Sola how she was a cheater at everything, stealing her husband, going for her throat, when Soran made his own appearance. With Hannah being so mortally wounded, her mind control over the others had been released. Soran was limping and hunched over, a hand still over his eye, blood dried and caked onto his face and hand.
”Sola…did they….make it…?”
His words were hushed and choppy, but Sola did not break her attack. It was Hannah who let go, and the hyper beam slammed her into the wall of the dome, causing the Pokemon in dens near it scurry out, in fear of another cave in. Sola’s mouth clamped shut as she surveyed her victory. Her good eye was the opposite of Soran’s good eye, though it was a mere coincidental detail. Soran slumped to her side, looking at her, trying to search for an answer. She looked towards the cave in, and Soran followed her gaze. Mila was guarding the entrance, occasionally poking her head in, and wondering if she should go in for her partner, but right now it would leave them too vulnerable. With all of these recently released dragon types, she wasn’t sure where their alliance might be.
Otis somehow managed to reached the small opening, and the sight made him slip forward, falling to the ground and off of the rock formation. His body made a small thud sound. He was surrounded by bits of broken and smashed eggs. Some looked untouched by rocks, and just tossed and thrown instead. He surveyed with watery eyes, but they eventually landed on something. Just one something. Just one glorious little green egg. His ears perked, hope filling his gut.
”Mila, I’m on my way!”
His voice was strange, a mash up of hope and worry. He somehow managed to get the egg on his back, and tightened his tail around it. He was too happy to make a mistake, too determined to save just this one egg. His tail had never been used like this, so it felt stretched and uncomfortable, but he really did not care at all. As he squeezed through holes he’d place the egg down on his front paws, and wiggle forward. As he reached the beginning entrance Mila clapped her hands together, and then stretched her arms all the way forward. Her fingers gripped the egg, and pulled the egg out, allowing Otis to bound forward and exit the tunnel of rocks. Mila lifted the egg above her head, and together she and Otis rejoiced loudly. Sola and Soran approached as the team slowly slid down the rock face, Sola’s arms outstretched until Mila could reach and handed over their egg. Sola hugged the egg close, and Soran hugged the two together. No other dragon types approached or slinked away, they were silent and wide-eyed. Sola looked up at Otis, searching his face, hopeful that maybe some others survived, but Otis merely shook his head. She nodded, eyes closing in sorrow, but she brought herself back with a sniffle. One positive in a sea of negatives. Surrounded by a veil of evil, this egg had survived, and Sola would care for it with every iota of her being, and with Soran by her side.
A young Trapinch the color of his father slinked away into the darkness, forgotten about as the mind control released. Most of Soran’s memory was foggy, along with the others. The child would not allow the den to go back to the way it was. He would follow in his mother’s footsteps. He would bring the dragon types to rise again, he’d guide them to the top of the chain. He’d be stronger than his mother. He’d dominate.
"They will all pay. They will all bow down to me."
THE END?
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:39 pm
Unaware of the threat posed by the remaining Trapinch, the dragons of the area were now fighting a different battle. A battle to find normalcy and peace. It would be a struggle for some, but after a few explanations were made, and a few more comforting words, most of the Dragon's Den Pokemon settled back into their old way of life.
Otis and Mila hadn't the time to stay much longer, for there were many things to be done about the Den, but there were yet a few surprises in store for them. As they were about to leave for their home guild, they were approached by Sola, half of her face heavily bandaged from the battle against Hannah. With a nod and a smile, she held out her clawed hands toward the pair, a rough burlap bag resting in her palms. It was drawn tight with twine, and tied with a bow, but within was their reward. "Thank you. Just... thank you." There was nothing but relief and gratitude in the sole eye which remained visible on the Flygon's face. - - - - -
OOC -> I found a few grammatical errors, but overall it was really well-written!
I liked the way that you involved the story of how Sola's mate was under the control of Hannah, and it was a very dramatic storyline. You weren't afraid to let the other characters take the spotlight, and you were very realistic about just how strong Otis and Mila actually were, in comparison with the other Pokemon. That's a pretty tough thing to pull off, sometimes, but it worked well.
If I were to offer any sort of tip, it would be to take more time in introducing certain aspects of the main plot. It's a very strong idea that you have written out, but it might be improved by a more thorough explanation of why things are occurring or have occurred.
Regardless, I owe you some rewards!
Team Underdogs has earned the following:
- Soft Sand ( A held item which strengthens the power of Ground-type moves. )
- 6000PD
- And the choice of one recruit from the following: Trapinch, Swablu, or Gabite.
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:44 pm
 
Otis Mila
Exhausted and entirely bedraggled, the team slumped onto the floor of their team room, their bag of goodies dropped off by the door. They were nodding off into a light snooze when the recruits came knocking on their door. Mila pulled at her eyes with agitation. Otis grumbled and headbutted his partner lightly. They trudged over to the door, and opened it. In front of them were three unfamiliar faces. All young, all still relatively surprised looking. They all gave Mila and Otis the up down in unison, which made Mila 'tsk'. She put her fists on her hips as Otis attempted to slink back into the shadows. He did not feel like dealing with others.
Mila stepped out of the room and into the hall, circling her prey. Er, the potential recruits. The Swablu looked a little too young, and the Gible was giving her a strange lingering gaze that was invading her privacy. She kind of felt for the Trapinch. He was a good build, and he reminded her kindly of Sola.
"What is your name?"
"Sebastian. But most people call me Seb."
Mila nodded, and clapped him on the back. The other recruits scurried away without so much as a goodbye. Mila did not mind, she barely even made any gesture that may have even suggested she noticed. It was better that way, she was not in the mood for emotion. She ushered the new member into the relatively empty team room, and closed the door behind her. Otis was already curled up on his pillow, asleep. Mila decided to do the same, and headed to her tree. Leaving the new recruit to his own devices.
- - - - - - -
OoC: I tried to read over for grammatical errors, but I am unsure if I replaced all bits with what I had fixed in word, I'll be more careful. Reading it through I found some too!
I'm glad that you liked it, and letting the spotlight roam made it easier to gain some length in the mission. I did try to only let the reader know what the team knew, but I can try and make them more curious, I suppose. And I didn't really notice until it was too late the size of my team in comparison to most dragon types. But I thought it added to the overall brutality. I hope you did enjoy it ;D I'll only try to improve!
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