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 Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:18 am
It didn't help when Charonite barked out, curiously intense: "Girls are ******** trouble," he said tersely. "And if you want to go play ******** pattycake with a god damned boy -- and I don't care how much that's god damned Negaverse tradition, and you know it -- " (did he? Who was he referring to?) " -- if you get involved with a ******** woman, it will be nothing but trouble. Especially goddamn you."
(He was staring at the uniform as though he really wanted to get rid of it through punching.)
Which was pretty unfair. The General-King moved back against the tree and leant against it with an explosive, angry sigh, still staring at Khaldun in the way that meant don't you move a ******** inch, you little piss-ant. "Don't you move a ******** inch, you little pissant." See? "I knew you'd get to this ******** age eventually. Look. You are not fraternizing with Audrey ******** Collins." How he knew Audrey was still a mystery -- possibly he knew her from the transfer. "Goddamnit, can't you take your energy out getting some ******** work done?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:25 am
The teen couldn't find anything to say for some time. It sounded like the General-King either had had a very bad experience with a woman in the past (which would explain a hell of a lot), or that he was gay as a maypole (which would also explain a hell of a lot). For all he knew, it could even be BOTH. In all of a year, Khaldun had never seen him with a woman - or a man, except Obsidian really, but who even knew with those two - and had never seen him accept or deny Nealite's advances until recently. You couldn't call him straight any more than the opposite. He never seemed to be anything, till now. Not that Khaldun kept tabs on this for the faint hope of eventual blackmail, or at the very least something to laugh at. Not at all. Khaldun tried turning the argument around rather than come up with any examples, because admittedly the only thing women weren't trouble about in Khaldun's mind was sex, and that was not going to end up very convincing to this audience. "Sir, the women I'm involved with aren't trouble. Look, you of all people should know that I know women. Intimately. Actually that was the wrong word for it, I mean academically. But uh WHAT ABOUT YOU. What the hell happened to make you hate women so much?"
Khaldun did not move a ******** inch, even when the General-King was leaning on the tree, right up next to him. He was very busy attempting to disprove the theory that had cropped up in his mind. Adopted. Adopted as in not previously a parent. Adopted as in 'even Charonite's mentioned my parents before without me having to ask first, even if it was only the one time'. ******** impossible. He was scared enough of the General-King, he really didn't need to bother with scaring himself. s**t.
"I've been working, sir! I just spend my downtime differently," he huffed. The Negaverse - where your best wasn't good enough. This was a large part of why he didn't bother. He'd only been so motivated lately because work didn't mean running headlong into battle without a weapon, and that was worth taking advantage of. He turned himself slightly so that he could see the man looming to his side. At first Khaldun just looked annoyed at the almost parental interference. Who the hell was he to tell Khaldun who he could date? This wasn't some work s**t, this was his free time to do what he wanted. Besides... his stand-in for a parent... and his boss. That was still a bit much, Khal was very nearly probably eighteen, he'd be as good as in a little over a month. What then? He wanted to mack on a girl for once, damn it, and he wasn't about to let Charonite stop him from it. But an even better realization occured to him. He suddenly smiled widely at his superior officer, deviously, right down to his simpering tone of voice. This might have been overstepping his boundaries a bit, it might have been just a little ballsy, but if he had to take this bullet then Nealite was going to also. It was her fault he was even here in this ridiculous costume. "But you're still taking Nealite to the prom, sir. Or did you decide she was '******** trouble' too?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:32 am
The General-King had gone very, very still, which either boded trouble or... more trouble, Khaldun couldn't quite figure out. And he was used to both 'trouble' and 'more trouble'. "I do not have a goddamn problem with women," he growled. "I let women into the ******** Negaverse, I don't have a ******** problem!"
Which just underlined that he totally had a problem.
"I just focus on what's ******** important: the Negaverse. I don't get distracted by women." But before Khaldun could offer up the hopeful 'or men?' he snarled: "Or anyone. I'm more than my goddamned flesh and meat. I'm taking Captain Nealite to that ******** prom because we're INVADING THAT ******** PROM, LIEUTENANT. It'll look better if I have a date on my arm. It's called going undercover."
So why did this all sound a little lame?
"You should practice thinking less about breasts. Get a -- get a ******** hobby. Do you know what I do? I train."
Charonite: trainsexual.
"I've never been involved with a woman. You should take my ******** lead, Khaldun, and listen to me for ******** once!"
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 11:25 pm
"So I had the wrong impression, sir!" Khaldun interjected as though his life depended on it, verbally attempting to defuse the time bomb with a baseball bat. So much for that change of subject. Charonite was giving off clear signs that he did in fact have a problem, a large one, potentially in inverse proportion to how often he got laid. The teen was still up against the tree, but looked ready to bolt at a moment's notice, a loaded spring in human shape. This wasn't casual conversation so much as some kind of bizarro extreme parental lecture. His words were pleasant enough, but his voice was incurably laced with his usual brand of sarcasm, no matter how hard he tried to sound serious. "And, might I add, women in the Negaverse? Excellent decision. Really P.C. Definitely sounds like you've got no problems. Sir."
Khaldun looked visibly less wound up after hearing the General-King go off on the subject of the prom. So there wasn't anything going on between Charonite and Nealite after all, at least. That was one thing he didn't need, Nealite actually becoming the boss's girlfriend, and by extension some kind of pseudo-mother-whatever. He'd been a little worried, was always a little worried, by Nealite's infatuation with Charonite. She couldn't sense danger when it was looming a foot and a half over her? Khaldun was navigating a verbal minefield here, god only knew how she did this, why she wanted to. This was still a dangerous game, but he couldn't exactly walk away now.
The silence that followed the General-King's final statement was practically tangible. Khaldun suddenly felt a million times better. No, a billion times better. Of all the things Charonite could have said, of all the horribly embarrassing possibilities, it was that he had never been with a woman. It was like winning the jackpot in the sadist lottery for Khaldun. He wasn't stronger, faster, or smarter than the General-King - but he had a hell of a lot more more savoir-faire in the romance department. He gloated. Oh, he gloated. It was all he could do to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing. Despite his best efforts, something had to have shown up on his face, even before he looked away at the fallen sunglasses in order to compose himself. It was a few long seconds before he felt it was safe to talk without betraying his amusement.
"Sir. I appreciate that you're trying to... be a... role model? But if you've never 'been involved' with a girl, and you swear up and down and across and back that you've got no problem with ladies..." Khaldun wiped a hand on his cheek and came away with a brightly-colored smudge on his fingertips, which he displayed to the General-King with thinly-veiled pride. There was, actually, quite a bit more where it came from, the remains of kisses obvious against his dark skin. Audrey had had on costume makeup, so it was almost comical in visibility. "Then all this lipstick says I'm the one who ought to be advising you on any hidden dangers of women I might have come across. Not that I would go against your orders, General-King, sir. You're uh. You're the boss."
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:33 am
Charonite didn't seem to realise -- unusual for Charonite -- what kind of ammo that he had given the younger officer. This forced Khaldun to realise that Charonite really genuinely thought that never having been with a woman was some kind of positive quality in a Negaverse leader, that never having been distracted by another human being was something to be proud of. And possibly in Charonite-speak it was.
In every other walk of life it was hilarious.
His voice was low and dangerous when he said: "I don't need your ******** advice." Classic Charonite. But he wasn't breaking Khaldun's nose, which was the main thing. "I will never need your shitty little pieces of advice just because you've been playing ******** saliva games."
So why, again, wasn't he breaking Khaldun's nose? They were staring at each other now, Charonite looking in disgust at the last remnants of the bright lipstick. "You couldn't find your a** with your elbow most days when it comes to women. Don't ******** start now. Let me tell you ******** something: don't goddamn get involved. You want a partner? Make the Negaverse your lover."
(This sounded a little skeezy. Especially if you took 'Negaverse your lover' as 'go through all the Negaverse officers', and the po-po would take you away if you tried to do that stuff with Lieutenant Serandite.)
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 2:43 am
Khaldun had not at first understood this insistence toward celibacy, the degree to which the General-King seemed to hold reverent the idea of being married to his work. For the longest time tonight it had felt more like a cover-up than an actual viewpoint, an excuse to put into play. But... he seemed to actually be serious about it. Charonite wasn't just saying it was why he avoided women. He was going above and beyond avoid, he was touting this as the word of some extremely asexual god of war. He was telling - which in Charonite terms was the verbal equivalent of twisting someone's arm, because if he actually had to bother with doing that in actuality, there was a good chance he'd just break it instead - Khaldun to do things his way as though he were doing him a favor demanding the teen give up the one girlfriend he'd managed to get in all of a year. He thought this was respectable, or right, or something. Like being an eternal bachelor was a respectable occupation.
He was serious.
He was ******** insane in the most ridiculous way possible.
"No, sir," he agreed, staring at the General-King in awe of how ridiculous he had become in the span of five minutes. The teen was relieved to find no bodily harm had yet come to him. Unfortunately, this was taken as a cue to push his limits further, to test just how much he could get away with. "But if you ever decide to pick up a hobby that involves the opposite sex, you know where to find me if you've got any, uh, questions."
"Make the..." This baffling request for Khaldun to suddenly become militiasexual actually seemed to shut the teen up. But only momentarily. This whole evening was getting stranger and stranger. Charonite was apparently a secret monk, swearing off love entirely in favor of work. The teen looked down at his shoes, contemplating, then back up to the unamused look on Charonite's face, shades and all. Khaldun tried to way overdo it when he vocalized his concern, expression confused with a hint of fearful. This was such bullshit, he was actually secretly hoping the General-King had developed a warped sense of humor recently. This was too insane to be for real. If he was serious... this would be a fun question to ask. "But sir, what if I got the Negaverse pregnant!?"
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