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"Dunno. She lays a lot. I think she cries when I don't see." Zach hopped his piece again. "We got a bat now." Holy Changing Subjects, Zach! "He's around and likes to hang out on people's heads."

---

Aaand there went the TV remote into the wall. Rene had a bad habit of hurling things when she got mad. Several magazines followed the remote.

Pacing. More pacing and utterly unintelligible sounds of rage. No words just yet.

"Maybe." Zach said, casting a glance up at the bat. It was warmer in here. He probably liked it. "I hope not, cuz then they'll fight and that would suck."

Suck was probably one of Zach's ten most used words.

"Cuz then I wouldn't get to see you, and that'd really suck."

---

"Let. Me. Go." Rene snarled, able to find words, and starting to struggle. Her wings trembled and flexed. She was trying to keep them in check. "Let me go, Henri."

"That's cool." Zach grinned. "I'd walk to you, too. We're friends." It made sense to him! He patted Izzy's arm and just beamed at her. He was glad Izzy was his friend.

---

Rene made another snarl noise, her wings shuddering. They were like a separate beast themselves, shivering with some emotion. Fear? Rage? Whatever it was spurred them into action, flapping and beating at Henri.

"Let. Go-" Rene gasped, biting down a scream. God, she couldn't even let herself be held without panicing. It was tight and close and, God, she hated being trapped-

Zach smiled at her sunnily. He was a happy little b*****d when he wanted to be. The bat flapped down to get a better look at Izzy, peeping. He had odd, jewel-like blue eyes.

"Don't worry, he doesn't bite. He pees a lot, but that's just how he..... diii-jests his food."

---

Rene gasped and pulled herself a few inches from him, letting his hands rest on her upper arms. There, he wasn't holding her, wasn't keeping her there. She couldn't stand being trapped, had been wrapped for so long that even an embrace was terribly now-

"God," She gasped, hating that word as she said it, "I'm so ******** up. I'm so ******** ******** up."

"Or somethin' like that." Zach shrugged. "Wayne, c'mere."

Chirp!

"Come see Izzy."

The bat chirped again, huffily, and remained perched on the edge of Zach's bed.

"he's kind of a jerk. He fits in."

---

"You don't understand-" Rene gasped, hands balling into fists. "I don't remember how to be anything but angry. I've always been angry, ever since I fell. And, before that, I was just... Just filled with Duty. That's all I know, Duty and rage. And I don't have Duty here, besides Zach, and even after everything, Henri, even after five years and loosing those chains, I'm still a puppet. I'm a marionette with my strings cut. I don't know how to act without a puppeteer."

She didn't pull away, but her voice continued to raise. Oh, my.

"He's supposed to grow into a person, so I can't be mean to him." Zach shrugged. "He's a jerk."

PEEP.

"And he makes that noise a lot." Zach shrugged. Stupid bat. Back to the game!

---

"I don't know how, Henri. You don't... You do not understand." One hand sank into her bangs, she bit her lip. "Everything... Everything after I was named. Everything has gone badly. From the banishment to what happened to my family, to Zach, everything has gone bad. And sometimes, you know, I think it's getting better. Something good happens. Then this hits me, and I just feel so empty under the anger. So I try to get more angry, because... Because it is better to be angry than to be empty."

"But I cannot stay angry forever, and the empty creeps back in. I work out, I cause pain because that too is better than nothingness. But nothing works, Henri. I do not... Know." Rene's shoulders slumped, as did her wings.

"Maybe!" Zach said. He got out his stuffed dinosaurs and offered one to izzy. Better than a game any day!

---

That touch, Rene allowed. Her shoulders shook, her voice was tight.

"It starts at Halloween, cuz that was Mom's favorite holiday. And it just gets worse until after New Years. Then it goes away. It happens every year, but this is the first year I'm really feelin' it this bad. last year sucked, but the year before that me an' Chaya were on the run, and I had to focus on keeping us alive. Couldn't focus on feelings."

Her face was damp. Crying? Rene didn't cry. Not in front of people. She ignored the tears. Weakness coming out, that was all.

"Two years in chains with a family that got blown to pieces, two years on the streets with a kid who was so goddamn shell-shocked from the fallout that she didn't talk for the first year. I get on my own, and I get saddled with a brat who's almost as much of a b***h as I am. I get the chains taken off, and I realize, you know? I'm nothing under this. Nothing. For all I tried to be individual, I'm just a generic angel. Nothing inside."

In her growing hysterics, Rene started to sing. Tears coming freely now, just singing.