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 Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 7:09 pm
Lorcan blinked a few times, watching him. He could see the stallion relax. And he knew he was ok before the other even opened his mouth. However the confirmation was much appreciated. He shifted, shaking his head a little, before his neck and the rest of his body. His light chesnut mane settled against his neck, laying flat, as his tail flicked.
"I'm Lorcan. I'm glad your alright. I really didn't mean to frighten you at all. You just didn't seem to notice me and so I wanted to make sure you weren't like... dead." He offered as a poor explanation. He smiled a bit. "And Like I think I said before, no need to apologize. I mean, I was the one to startle you."
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 7:52 pm
Szad took a few more breaths in before answering. He was much calmer that he had been. He was in one piece. "L-lorcan" he repeated to himself. An interesting name. "n-nice to...to meet you." His mouth quivered slightly into a small smile.
He looked into the other stallion's eyes as he spoke. He was the one to startle him...but still, the reaction...so violent and strange. He didn't know what to say.
"i..i was just think...Tr-trying to re-regain some...memories..."
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:14 pm
"Its nice to meet you to, Szad." He nodded a few times. He was sure to use the stallions name. It was polite, after all. And would help him remember it. Nothing was more embarrassing then forgetting someone's name mid conversation! And he would not allow himself to be put into that situation. He would remember the other's name, at all costs!
"I see. That's no good. Not being able to remember something, that is. I forget things all the time." he shrugged his shoulders. "Its frustrating, and man, do I get in a bad mood. So I understand why you flipped out like that. I mean, if someone came and bothered me rudely while I was trying to remember something, I'd get mad to!" He offered a smile. "Have you forgotten alot?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:16 pm
Szad's head snapped up at once when he heard Lorcan's problems with memories. Maybe he could give him a clue as to how to regain is past. Maybe he also didn't remember anything, only fragments. Hope swelled in Szad's heart. had he finally found an answer after searching for so long?
"Y-yes...lots and l-lots....I c-can't remember an-any of my p-p-past...." He could feel an excited smile forming. His heart pounded. "is..is it th-the same f-f-or you...?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:42 pm
"um..." Uh oh. Lorcan could see the potential happiness in the other stallion's eyes and... well that wasn't quite what he meant. He thought quickly, trying to think of some way to word it so the other didn't lose hope.
"Well, I mean sure... I have some stuff I've forgotten. Memories and stuff. I just left my old home though, so I haven't had a chance to forget much... just mostly stuff from when I was little. I don't remember alot of that, except for big things. I think everyone forgets alot of their past." He tried to offer some comfort for the sadness he expected to come. After all he seemed so... so happy. But Lorcan felt as if he was crushing that happiness by saying, well no, he hadn't lost all his memories.
"I'm sure its not that uncommon though, Szad. Do you remember why you might have forgotten everything? A bump to the head? Or a traumatic event?" He tried to offer some help. "If you keep trying to remember, it might help you remember faster. Or just think about something else. Don't try and remember your past, and perhaps, your brain will remember everything on its own, once you stop trying. That usually works for me."
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:54 pm
The twinkle in Szad's eyes that had been sparked by the hope died down a little, lost its flame. But it was not gone. "S-some memories...?" So not everything? Not like what Szad had? Well...when he thought about it, it would be only normal for this stallion to have some memories, and not be in Szad's situation. He let out a light sigh, but kept a gentle smile on his face, and gazed into the stallion's eyes. Hope was still there.
"th-that sounds...good....I I will tr-try th-that!" He smiled, but there was some sadness hidden behind the brightness of the smile. He still had no memories. And he had no new clues as how to regain them...
"...I-I some t-times have...dreams....L-like f-flashbacks? T-they are sc-scary...and...some t-times they r-repeat them s-selves...." Maybe the stallion did have some knowledge on regaining memory. Maybe the nightmares were really a sign that his mind wanted to remember?
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Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:06 pm
He felt as if he had let the other down a bit, and it hurt the large stallion. He listened, mentally kicking himself. Why did he bring the others hopes up? He hadn't meant to. He had been trying to just be comforting. Nice going Lorcan, he mentally kicked himself again. And he had no clue how he was going... wait did he say flashbacks?
Lorcan blinked. "Well dreams arn't always just dreams. Sometimes I have dreams that are memories of things that happened. Its how I know I still remember the occasion, because of the dreams." He said. "You said they are scary? And they repeat? Yeah, that sounds like memories of something bad that your mind doesn't want to remember. See, like, when I was a young colt, I got attacked by a lone wolf who had lost its pack. I don't remember much from that night but a few scary nightmares. The only reason I know it happened is because my mom told me so. But I don't really recall the event." He explained. "perhaps, something really bad happened that you arn't suppose to remember. Something horrible and scary you don't really want to know about, so you kinda... locked it away. But your brain is trying to force you to remember, with the dreams, like what I have. And if it was really bad, you could have locked up all your memories, instead of just the bad ones, by accident or something." He tried to explain. "Does that make sense?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:44 pm
Everything froze. The sounds around them fell silent. Szad's body stilled itself, but his mind began to blast furiously. His head spun and his thoughts ran wild. Dreams could also be...memories? No...No way. So....
"T-those things were...real...?" His voice barely a whisper.
All the visions, the horror and blood and pain. Were they real? Is that what his past looked like? NO, please don't let it be true...if it was...if it was so horrible...He didn't even want to remember. He didn't what to know what had happened, who that bucking horse was, who he was. He didn't want to know. It was too painful.
He lifted his head, and looked Lorcan in the eye. Szad's face beamed with a wide smile. His eyes glistening clearly. Life had changed as he had known it. "I no longer want to know."
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:38 pm
Lorcan blinked at the sudden stillness, the silence. It was so quiet, in fact, that when Szad whispered, Lorcan jumped in surprise. "W...well I mean...They could be..." He said, his voice a little weak, and just as quiet, unsure what was going through the other stallion's mind.
And then the change. He blinked again, a few times in fact, as the stallion before him seemed to change. He didn't seem so scared, anymore. He seemed... confident. Happy? "Well, Szad, like I said, they could be memories, or they could just be like..." He tried to think of the word. "Exaggerations. Your could be remembering someone worse then it was, as a bad nightmare. I dreamed once my mom left me and never came back, but really she did come back, she was just gone a while. But well." He felt like he might be destroying this new found confidence the stallion seemed to have.
"If you've decided that then, good for you!" He said with enthusiastic. "You can move on, and make new memories, and not worry about the past. You can make a new past! From right now, or something." He smiled.
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:39 pm
For Szad, this was revolutionary! He couldn't believe it at all, the answer to it had been so simple, but instead of looking for a way to move on, he had concentrated all his energy and conciseness to trying to piece together his shattered past. Thinking the flashbacks as clues. yes, he had been afraid of the whole picture that would be created if he succeeded, seeing as how horrifying some of the pieces were. But he was still naive enough to want it and make it his goal. Through all the pain, all the time spent, he still wanted it. Now...now he did not even know why he had thought that knowing his 'past' would have left him with some reward. It probably only lead to more pain. He didn't need to know to live. He could start over. He was not given a burden by forgetting all his memories, it was a fresh start. A chance to live life how he should...how he saw fit. Szad beamed. He felt like a new stallion. He gazed upon his also smiling new friend. "Thank you Lorcan"
Now he could move on, allow himself to make memories. Maybe now all the nightmares would go away. All the flashbacks. No. Not flashbacks. Just his wild imagination. Szad was set, his mind clear. "I can start o-over again now...thank you...friend."
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 5:08 pm
"Yeah, you can." He nodded. "Uh...yeah. No problem." Lorcan said a bit, well not startled. A little relieved. This had certainly been an interesting night, for sure. Running into this large, oblivious moon gazing stallion, startling him, nearly getting kicked, then...apparently helping him with a long standing trouble. Interesting for sure. "It was no problem. Good to see your better off. Perhaps now you won't be startled next time someone comes up beside you." He smiled a bit.
He shook out his mane a bit and shifted from side to side for a moment, legs tired from standing for so long in one position. "And Perhaps this is where we can say our goodbyes?" He offered. They had, it seemed, reached a fine conclusion to their conversation. "Until next time, Szad?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 5:21 pm
Szad smiled at the stallion standing before him. An eventful evening it had been. His eyes twinkled. He had turned over a new page in his life with the help of his new friend. Friend. It was such a nice feeling to have befriended someone. A comforting, warm feeling. Szad wondered if Lorcan also thought of him as a friend.
He nodded his head formaly and smiled with his eyes. "Good bye L-lorcan.
It w-was a pl-pleasure. Un-until n-next time...." He gave one final nod and gracefully turned in the opposite direction. And began to talk to an new destination. He looked over his shoulder after traveling a few yards and gave a friendly whinny to the mustang that was gradually shrinking. Maybe next time, Szad could return the favor.
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