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 Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:23 am
Kailey Koreco
#1 - Oh s**t, totally thought I included a per battle limit, my bad x.x;;;
The few posts things was the waiting time between her summons, but I'll add in that she can do it only twice per battle then.
I'm confused by your "It goes by two posts of hers after it breaks," Witchneko. Do you mean for her to summon another one, or...? o.O
I mean that when the thing breaks, she has to post twice before she can use the shield again in her third post. Kailey Koreco #2 - It's for her Eternal stage, so I thought the more powerful attack would be rather appropriate owo;;; I'm still not comfortable with making it a one time only attack, due to how briefly the things she summons would be around... then after that, she's just done for the battle. Verses a Nega with a much more reliable source of power... that seems rather unfair since none of the things that come out of the gate would do the amount of damage to the Nega that their weapon could do to her .__.;;;
Also, it wouldn't make any sense for her to control that which comes out of the gateway. I know someone was questing for a Senshi of Demons, so I'm gonna use that as an example for my idea:
Say Hecate opens the gateway, without anyone fighting on her side. The creatures come out, attack her opponents briefly, then leave. She can control nothing in this scenario except her gateway. She's the Senshi of Gateways, not Demons/Ghosts/etc., so her powers wouldn't extend into whatever comes out of the gate.
Now say the Senshi of Demons was around. Out comes the gate, out comes the demons - the Senshi of Demons, if her attacks already hinted to being able to control demons, could then control whatever comes out of the gate, and when the demons then vanish would depend on that senshi's powers, since they no longer are there just by Hecate's opening. They're then bound by another senshi's power to act for them.
....did that make any sense at all? @o@;;;; That made perfect sense. Now my mind's yelling about having Hecate team up with the Senshi of Demons when she hits eternal. My one problem is that what keeps the things from attacking her? I mean, I don't have problems with the demons doing that, but that seems like...a backfiring attack for her. But I still root for hellhounds being summoned. I don't know any limits on summon times for this attack.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:33 am
I disagree, I think even at Eternal there needs to be a power cap, I mean they're Senshi, not Super Sayans.
Possibly the more OMGSUPERPOWERFUL the thing that comes through the fewer you get? That would make sense. Also probably unlikely to summon forth Queen Serenity. wink
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:17 am
...I now want a crack Rp where she DOES summon Serenity against the smexy Beryl 8|;;;;;;
But no, she can't summon people like that X'D;;;;
It's only demons/spirits/evil thingers like that that have nothing to do with the plot 8'D;;;
I do like that the more powerful beings that come through, the less come through at a time... but that would have to be something talked about OOC, I would think. Are we able to give powers notes like that? =o
And yes, if there IS a Senshi of Demons... I'm TOTALLY rooting for a team up later on >> <333333
Same with any Senshi of Canines/Watchdogs >w>;;; <3
....-might think of a concept for that if no one else is-
Hellhounds might be able to be summoned.... they just wouldn't be the only ones I guess owo;;;
Yeah... need to think of a good limit for the amount of times she can summon the gate @o@;;;
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:21 am
I was actually very specific when it came to Eridanus' attack, since his final attack will actually create things with 'ink' out of thin air, but I put a fair number of restrictions on what he could create, since I figured the ability to create weapons and stuff out of thin air was... well. Pretty nasty already without getting into stuff like creating doors or living beings. I can link you to his profile, it might give you some ideas?
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:34 am
Pleeeeeeeeeaaaase~ owo <33333
I figured beyond saying lengths of attacks, down times, etc, anything more specific would need to be talked about OOC and not really part of the description of the attack.
His attack sounds very neat though o.o~
And from just that, the limits seem to make a lot of sense @w@;;;;
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Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 8:16 am
With Kailey, the same question I asked about her brother: Quote: A blue heart-shaped stone hanging from a slim silver chain, a vein of purple runs diagonally through the heart from top right to bottom left, even smaller gold lines outlining it on either side. Another heart, this time red, dangles from another silver chain, though this one is attached to a diamond stud on her ear; a sapphire, amethyst, then ruby stud trails up the side to meet two silver hoops at the top. The jewel studs reverse order on her left ear though (ruby, amethyst, sapphire), and there is no hanging heart on that ear, only a diamond stud at the bottom. Amethist I can see, it's not a vastly expensive stone, you could probably get there even on a cheapish allowance, but most of her other stones are very expensive, Diamonds Sapphires and Ruby? This doesn't seem to fit the financial standing of an girl who's been bounced around from foster home to foster home, and you've implied was adopted pretty much for the cash bonus.
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Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:10 am
Mainly responded in her brother's thread but - earrings she got before entering foster care, same with her necklace (mother's, yay sentimental value). Kept them via hiding while in the nasty homes, or passing them off as all fake and worthless, most likely.
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:18 am
I've traded the title of Cynical for Distrusting in hopes of slowly taking this character away from the psychotic nature that her brother is better set for.
I did add Signing in, just to see if the way I've worded that hobby works better than what I had before or not. If it's still too much, I've got no problems taking it out, just testing x'D
Edited her second and third attack a bit, putting a little more detail in... but I could really use some suggestions for how to make them more efficient or how many times she should use them per battle in retrospect to what kind of opponents she'd be fighting at that level.
So right now, I want not only CRITIQUES, but SUGGESTIONS. I'm really stuck for how to change things for the better, even after the critiques I got before. Reading through everything again... I just for some reason can't click together what I should do with the character now @.@;;;
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:09 am
You have a LOT of information here! My suggestions is to cut it down and be more concise -- Natsu and rosemilk have anywhere between 50-100 entries to read per competition, and with that many entries it would help them a LOT to have something quick and easy to read. A suggestion would be to keep it in another post -- but for competitions, keep it condensed! That's a LOT of information to read, and the point/meaning behind the words gets lost rather quickly. I didn't really understand your attacks until I read it quite a few times. This goes the same for Coffinite!
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:00 pm
Hm... I'll see what I can do, it's just I've noticed if I don't explain things a lot, people tell me what I have doesn't make sense or doesn't explain everything enough, so I then have to write out a bunch more to explain things @.@;;;;
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:21 pm
I agree with Mel; there is a LOT of stuff here. O.o But I understand about not looking like you've explained it enough without writing tones of stuff. Athor's stuff is hard to condence since you can get confused about whether her self-doubt is just merely perfectionism (which it isnt)
I love the concept of her summoning stuffs at Eternal, but I think there should be a limit on what can be summoned. I don't think there should be the possibily of her summoning a dragon. It would seem to give her too much power.
This being said, I don't have a third attack yet, so I can't really say anything about it.... >.> <.<;;
As for her in general, I agree with everyone about the jewerly. It seems to be a little out of context for a foster kid. If they really are family herlooms, note it somewhere so we don't keep getting confused.
But the big thing, is to condense stuff. (Not that I'm one to talk tho)
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:29 pm
I actually say right in the example that she CAN'T summon a dragon x'D I just picked the most powerful creature I could think of to give an example of something really strong that could, in theory (though wouldn't actually happen in Rp), come through the gate and would then only be one of due to how strong it'd be.
Though it really needs to be noted: she's not summoning the CREATURES, she summons the GATEWAY and can thereby OPEN the gate. Whatever comes through she has no control over, that's not what her sphere connects to.
There will be a cap though of how powerful something is that she can summon, I just wish I could get some staff input on ideas for that @.@;;;
Since... well, what might seem acceptable to me, I'm worried would be too over powered to them >>;;;
Will add that in about the jewelry though xwx;; <3
Eh. Like I said, I'll look into seeing what I can cut out but... I honestly feel like all the information I've written is everything I need: if it's too short, like how some of the stuff was originally, I was told there wasn't enough background to support it, not enough of an explanation to why/how things work and connect... so I'm kind of... feeling on a fence. Not saying I won't try, just... not sure how well I'll be at it x.x;;;
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:04 pm
Hey Kailey. Here's my suggestion for "Unseal the Gateway," since that seems to be what you want the most help with. You can PM me or post here, and I'll crit more if you'd like. =3
Personally, I like the way you have the summoning (i.e. summons one post, opens in the next post), but perhaps instead of pulling something out of the gate way, how about just having the open gateway release a powerful energy attack? She still would have no real control over it--she would simply open the gate, and the damaging energy would disperse randomly, potentially hurting friends as well as foes.
Another interesting idea may be for the shield portions of her earlier attacks to absorb the energy so that, when she opens the gate, whatever attacks were stopped by the shield would then be re-released.
Hope this helps!
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:03 am
Yay for deciding to check back at Kae and Kei's threads... x'D;;; -miiiiissed this-
Hm... I guess I kind of just wanna stick more towards the lore of Hecate for her last attack, where the idea is that the goddess might be a protector, she can whip around and unleash demons upon people xwx;; ~<3
Plus, the absorbing energy to be released later seems like it'd be useful if she could use the shields and the gate while in the same stage, but since they can't do that... it'd be really tedious to have to keep track of the previous attacks she blocked, then there'd be the idea that eventually all that absorbed energy would be gone after her using in only a few of those big blasts @.@;;;;
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Posted: Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:53 pm
I agree with the others here it might be a good idea to make a shorter form, I have done the same thing and need to do it. Kust thought contests, that was a lot to chew and at the end you feel a little... tired? XD
The hobbies - There are a lot of physical hobbies here ^^ does she feel overworked? does he have a lot of free time. Just a note there is nothing about this in her virtues, maybe hard worker something like that no?
Oh its always good to have a nice even flaw / virtue ratio XD its been asked of a lot of people so maybe put down another flaw?
I like what you have got for her though she is individual and seems to be a fun character to RP ^_^
the gateway things is a little hard for me to chew so I might not be the best person to give you crit on that sorry. o3o
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