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 Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:36 am
On the long, long list of bad idea, leaning towards Snuzzles face first was only slightly below hunting trips with d**k Cheney. The little youma – being a domesticated pet secondary to being a monster designed specifically for scaring the bageezus out of people – sprung to life. With an ear-shattering scree and speed one would not think he possessed, the little guy leapt from Andeon's lap and right at Piper's face. If successful, he would wrap his long, bony legs around her head and just... chill.
Because Snuzzles is a face hugger.
He hugs faces.
“Snuzzles, no,” Andeon snapped, giving Sue a slightly-annoyed, slightly-amuse, why-would-you-say-that glance, “Snuzzles, down. You get off of her face right this minute or you aren't getting any of my pudding cup for dessert.”
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:27 am
Oh. Whoops. That was why Quinn had been referring to it as a "headcrab", eh?
Now, Piper was slightly annoying to Sue - but so were most people, and most people didn't at least provide him with entertainment while they were about it. He didn't really want her face to be clawed off; he was pretty sure his mother would be disappointed in him if he let that happen, as well. His backpack was still in his lap, ready for action, but Sue had loosened up a bit too much. He didn't know if he could swing it in time....
But hey, what was to keep him from trying? Worst case scenario, he didn't catch Snuzzles in mid-leap and would be smacking Andeon instead. That seemed fair. It'd been him that had brought this thing over, after all. If Piper got hurt or something, that meant it would be his fault.
With a bellowing holler, Sue swung his backpack in a wide loop, up over his head and slamming downwards.
But really. Snuzzles was fast. Sue was not. There was no way in the world he was even possibly going to hit the headcrab. Instead, the only likely landing pad was Andeon's... lap.
Heh heh. Whoops.
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Posted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 7:48 pm
Before Quinn could immediately spout off about fifty-three reasons why kissing that creature would be a terrible idea, one very important reason became very evident. He watched in wide-eyed horror as it clung to her face, flashbacks of late night Half-Life gameplay invading his mind as if he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.
"You have to get it off of her!" he cried in a panic, watching as Sue tried (and failed) to do so with the only melee weapon he had on hand. Why had he not bought that crowbar on sale when he had the chance? Something told him that he was going to probably need it to fight off monsters, but three bags of Doritos and two cases of Mountain Dew were somehow more important at the time.
"s**t, it's gonna suck out her brains and turn her into a mindless zombie. And you know what she'll do then? She'll eat us, and game over." And he hadn't even brought his cell phone with him to call his mother with his dying breath. That would possibly be the most unfortunate aspect of all of this.
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Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:30 am
Piper saw two things happening at once. In front of her, the odd little overgrown prawn was leaping straight for her head. To her side, Sue had picked up his bag and was swinging it at said flying overgrown prawn and thus directly at her head. She reacted the way anyone would, at least anyone with any measure of self preservation. (Even if she lacked common sense, she had managed to hold on to basic instincts at least.) With a small squeaking noise, she jerked backwards and away from Sue, squeezing her eyes shut in the process. She jerked so hard, however, that she managed to flop entirely out of her seat and land roughly on the floor - half sitting and half leaning back with her arms propping her up. It may have saved her from the trajectory of the bookbag, but it did not, however, save her from the flying prawn.
She sat there in silence for a few moments, her eyes shut tightly, shocked and bewildered by both falling and the events directly before doing so. She was rock still, unmoving, and she'd even gone so far as to ball her hands up into fists. It was almost like she was waiting for some kind of mini-apocalypse. After a few moments of not being crushed to death, it seemed her senses returned, just in time to hear Quinn talking about brains and zombies. She opened her eyes to tell him that she didn't particularly find brains very appealing when she realized.. she couldn't see.
That was followed by a string of unintelligible mumbling as she attempted to ask Sue if there was something on her eyes, but as the muffled voice reached her own ears, she realized that there must be something on her whole face. One hand reached out blindly to grab at any part of Sue she could reach (rather frantically so, especially for Piper) as the other went up to touch whatever it was that was on her face. She hesitantly poked at it, feeling the hard.. shell of something?
Oh, right! Now she felt a little silly. It was that boy's prawnlobsterthing. Her shoulders relaxed a little as she figured out at least what it was on her face. It didn't seem to be doing anything except sitting there, so she just sat there too, vaguely hearing his owner scolding him to get off her face. It would be nice, since she couldn't see very well. Idly, while she waited, she wondered if this was his way of giving kisses.
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:34 pm
There were moments in classic children's cartoons, right after they coyote got an anvil dropped in his head or Elmer Fudd got his shotgun turned back on him, that stars and little birdies swirled around their heads. It was usually indicative of dizziness, disorientation, or a great deal of pain.
If Andeon could speak right then, his words would have been something along the lines of Well slap my a** and call me Daffy Duck. However, Andeon could not speak. Andeon could not speak because it felt as though his testicles, propelled by the force of Sue's backpack smashing into them, were up in his ******** throat. Something between a cough and a whine escaped the boy's throat as he clutched at his groin, falling sideways out of his chair.
“I...” Andeon wheezed, his eyes tightly clenched shut, “I fffff-”
The words would not come out.
Meanwhile, Snuzzles poked Piper back with one leg, clicking happily as though it were some sort of game. He clung tightly to Piper's face, curling his legs behind her ears and under her chin. It was his face now.
Down on the floor, Andeon finally managed to wheeze out a response.
“I ******** hate you, Sue.”
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:55 pm
You know, really. Sue didn't need encouragement for this stuff. There was a crabby thing. It was attached to Piper's face, and potentially about to claw her face off or lay eggs in her ear or some such thing. Now, Sue might think a lot of unflattering things about Piper, but she was endearing in a sort of... brain-damaged sort of way. And he preferred that she remain face-ful or eggless or some such thing.
So the fact that Quinn was just egging him on... well....
It wasn't necessary. But it did give him license to go all-out. And if later there should be trouble for it, well, he would just explain that it was all Quinn's idea.
Feigning innocent ignorance to Andeon's pain (yeah, he'd get his a** kicked later for it - or maybe not, the kid did seem pretty fruity, he was probably more likely to cry on his Livejournal than face his problems like a man ought to), Sue did the only thing he could think to and latched his hands on Snuzzles' back.
Once he got that far, though, there was a new puzzle to solve. Namely - what the hell was he supposed to do with it? Rip it off? Those legs looked sharp, he might just get Piper's face with it....
So. He was effectively frozen, attached to the face-hugger, attached to Piper's face. Totally not what he'd thought this day would bring when he'd woken up that morning.
"I'VE GOT A HOLD OF IT!" he bellowed out, in case Quinn hadn't noticed. "Now what the goddamn am I supposed to do with it?!"
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