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 Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:13 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:17 am
Hey there! Your senshi's outfit is very cute. <3 Let's see... With her hobbies, I strongly suggest you give her an additional hobby that lets her interact with other people. Right now, her hobbies seem like something she does by herself in her past time. Another hobby can help you create RP scenerios, as well as put another spin on your character. Does she like to attend baking classes? After school, does she work at a bakery as a cashier or apprentice, learning how to create pastries? Since she plays the piano, will she practice on her own or go to classes? I would honestly like to see her virtues and flaws more personalized. There are a lot of other characters that are friendly -- how does Anming's version of being friendly different from someone else's? A way you can do this is by incorporating her flaws a bit into her virtues, and her virtues into her flaws. How does being a friendly person work with the fact that she's often distracted? How often does she "accidentally" miss hearing what's someone's name is because she saw something interesting that caught her attention? This, I think, would make for some VERY interesting and fun RP. =D I'm curious, though: she's helpful... but a closet pessimist, who "doesn't really think she's doing that great of a job at being that much of a help sometimes." What drives her to be helpful or friendly, if she thinks she won't be very good at it? What's her motiviation to drive her past her inner brakes? I really, REALLY love how her pessimism comes into play with her polite virtue, since she's only polite in order to prevent people from seeing her as being rude. Her attacks look good to me, but her flaws, virtues, and hobbies need a bit more expansion for me. <3 
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Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 9:05 pm
I actually thought about mentioning that she likes Home Ec out of her subjects at school, but thought that might sound too redundant haha
but, ahh, I took it down originally, but will re-add that she works at a pastry shop of sorts oAo
I'll work on the flaws and virtues some more, though, haha, and try not to take so long again
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Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:19 am
not sure if I've made things better or worse, lol. edited her flaws and virtues, and added a hobby
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Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:54 am
just noting here that this is still Tsu-chan; changed my name
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 3:35 am
Since Anming is 14, you might want to consider changing her age if she's going to be working. According to Youth Labor Laws, if she's 14 she can only work three hours a day on a school day. There's a breakdown of all the hours and whatnot here. Since working at Petite Mew allows her to "work around the thing she likes," what is the thing she likes? Other people? Coffee? Hobbies are things a character does on a daily (or near) daily basis. If she stopped playing the piano when she moved to Destiny City, what does she do in her free time? Does she still practice the piano, even though she no longer is tutored? Her "closet pessimist" flaw still conflicts with her "helpful" virtue. If she lacks confidence in herself, what drives her to help other people? Why be polite when people don't see her in a positive view? I'm still getting hanged up on this flaw.
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:58 am
Errrrr, should I remove the flaw or virtue, then? I'm not sure how to explain it, precisely, without it contradicting itself; it's possible to be helpful but still unsure of yourself, isn't it? but I'm not really clear as to how to clarify this
Age- actually, she's 15 now oops. Her birthdate has passed while I've been working on her c:
I'll just remove the piano playing hobby
edit: removed both the flaw and virtue, as well as the piano playing and cafe hobby. I'll work on this when I can, lol c: Whenever that is
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 11:23 pm
okay up for marking again
I'm sorry about the contradictions; things like that occur in real life, as I've said, and it fits Anming. I hope I explained it the best I can ahah
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:22 am
Hi ^_^ Did you know you are supposed to post this stuff in the application section, to get Crits? Just checking because Marushii keeps asking for more crits. That's how you know if you are getting it right, then when you feel you have had a lot of crits and it seems too be done right, that's when you post it here.
^_^ Have a good day.
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 10:26 am
I had a friend that knows the character look over it for me and crit me via pm, actually c: and I've been going over it myself and editing things
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 11:39 am
But the stamp says get more crits. They will help you out. Then you won't get rejected ^_^ You have a great character, just maybe others could give you hints on making it better. It's better for people you don't know, they won't be mean,but they will say whats wrong plain and simple, they just wanna help. The more the better.
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 4:36 pm
I never said I didn't want crits from others, though? lol you're welcome to crit me if you want- mainly, I've been revising and had asked for help from a friend because of the conflict between her helpful virtue and what was formerly worded to be a pessimistic flaw c: ; trying to get it to work out, ahaha
SORRY IF THIS SEEMS LIKE I'M BEING MEAN OR SOMETHING- I'm kinda confused
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 4:47 pm
I don't think you are being me, that was my advice, lol ^_^ I hope you get approved real soon ^_^ Love that color blue your character has ^_^ I was just saying, that the stamp they keep posting says to get more crits, as in from more people. So why not put [CRT/MRK PLS] Then people will see the pls crit and they will ^_^ and they will see you also are trying to get it marked at the same time.
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 2:04 am
Hiyas having read through the flaws and virtues they read quite well, just a few things that has left me curious.
- Is there a limit to Anming's helpfulness? This isn't actually crit, I was just curious about it as from the write up that a lot of the time her helpfulness stems from it being the polite thing to do.
- Also does she offer the same amount of helpfulness to everyone or is she more helpful to her friends?
- With Anming's often distracted flaw, does her slip ups feed into her 'Insecure/Self-conscious' flaw at all? For example she's got distracted from a task she was doing for someone and then feel that she has to be even more helpful to make up for slipping or something.
Sorry it's not much and hope it helps some - Anming sounds really sweet.
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 5:59 pm
- I wouldn't really think she'd help friends any differently than she would anyone else, actually! As for if there's any limits, I think it depends on what they needed help with. She's better in some areas than others
- yes, actually c: I imagine she'd be really embarrassed to boot, same as if she thought someone was talking to her that wasn't
and thank you! no, it's a help, ahaha.
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