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 Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:07 am
Penance had could still recall the day he'd met Numielle as a foal, she'd had such a gleam in her eyes and an innocence that had stayed with her throughout the years. When he had met her again in later years, fulfilling his promise to her that he had made so long ago, she'd still had the same look. Admittedly she had matured into a young mare by then and her beauty far outweighed anything he had ever seen in his adolescent years (even in Islagiatt) but that light had always been there. The optimism and infectious enthusiasm were a part of her and despite her tendency to be relatively ditzy and just a little forgetful when she grew excited, he had completely and utterly adored her. Faults and all, she was his mare and while he continued to adore her in the years that followed it was a blow beyond words to see her slowly wilt in front of his very eyes.
He was losing her, or this is what he thought.
As much as he loved Numielle there were truly things she could keep from him and no amount of digging would get him the information he sought. The only thing he was aware of was that she was genuinely troubled, the light was gone in her eyes and there were moments when she fell silent (an unusual thing for the bubbly mare). Quiet contemplation generally wasn't Numielle's thing, Penance had long since grown accustomed to her rather lively daydreams and musings as she was rather inclined to sing and giggle with next to no reason. Therefore it should have come at no surprise that the stallion found it more than just a little disturbing to hear nothing on occasions.
"It will be well," he insisted and pulled the mare tighter to his side in a fierce hug. Keeping a close eye on her horn he nnudged her closer to the under side of his head and released a soft sigh. "We'll speak to Azzinoth and see what he has to say, he'll know how to fix things if they need to be fixed," he reassured her. He wasn't sure if he was accurate in this assumption, even Azzinoth had stressed that there were some issues within Esper that even he couldn't reach so would this be the same for Nocturne as well? At the very least, Penance craved nothing more than to ease the suffering of his mate, he wanted that light back!
"Then we'll go on vacation," he said in matter-of-fact tones. Once they got their answers and Numielle had been given the chance to fix things (if they could be fixed) then he would take her away to rest and recuperate, she could see new sights and perhaps she'd begin to find joy in things again. False smiles didn't fly with this particular stallion and suffice to say, he wouldn't be able to cope with it for much longer with his mood suffering for it...
"Anywhere you want," he added after a few moments and smiled.
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Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:46 am
Numielle wasn't trying to cause her mate concern, certainly not! If she understood that her mood and feelings directly effected his own, she'd be quick to apologize and do her best o do nothing but beam and smile and laugh and play. On one hand she knew that Penance was sensitive to how she felt. . . . but the hurt in her heart was troubling, even for Numielle, and she desperately wanted Penance to believe her strong and okay.
Unfortunately, he knew her far too well and Numielle was terrible when it came to hiding things. Or trying to hide things. She was an open book and it didn't take a genius to realize she wasn't well or to witness the shadows behind her dark gaze.
Still, one thing that worked in Penance's favor was his fierce command of emotion. The way he told her that everything would be well, that Azzinoth might have the answers was enough to cause temporary relief. Surely her beloved mate wouldn't lead her astray or lie to her. . . if Penance believed that things would be well, if he was confident in the knowledge that even her poor babies would be fixed . . .well. . . . Then it had to be so!
"Yes. . . . yes a vacation where we're all be happy. . . ." Her voice was soft as she cuddled against her mate, gently rubbing her cheek against his chest even as tears begin to glitter in her eyes. All she could imagine was the family together, on a family vacation. . . with here children happily doting on each other, snuggling, cuddling. . . . And she knew that future would never be.
Even if her sons resolved their hurts, even if Esper was to truly be fixed, they would never be like her. Not entirely. . . . And somehow she feared there would be lingering awkwardness, residual pain from all the hurt. All the hurt she caused. . . somehow. . . . ". . . I'm sorry Penance." Her voice broke, but despite the tears that streamed silently down her cheeks as she stared out and away, her words were surprisingly honest and clear. A moment clarity amidst her typical confusion and ditsyness. ". . I. . .I never meant for them to hurt."
Numielle had never apologized to Penance, not over such a tender subject. But she couldn't help it. She felt she owed it to her beloved - she loved her children so much, was so proud of them, and yet she feared everything would have been perfect if they just had been carried by a different mare. But right now, with the ideas of a vacation far away from the quiet tension and awkwardness at home dancing through her head, practically tormenting her. . . . She had to apologize to Penance, to get it off her chest.
She felt better, now that it had been said. She needed to say it. . . . and though it came with tears, somehow by laying claim to the knowledge that something was wrong meant that it could soon be better. Just as her sons would be fixed, in time, so would Numielle. "Numi's so lucky to have a mate like you," she continued, closing her eyes to try to stop the stinging in her eyes and the tightness in her throat. ". . . Oh yes, yes she is." All the love in the world couldn't express her gratitude. . . but she tried to say it like she could.
He was right. . . everything would be right and then everything would be just fine. Her babies would get bandages for the heart and soul. . . just as wounds healed, so would their strained happiness.
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 9:06 am
"Numi this is not your fault!" Penance's voice was surprisingly sharp as she apologised as though she had somehow struck a nerve. She had struck a nerve but it wasn't for the reasons one might have expected. The fact she had blamed herself horrified the stallion who was well aware that what she had been through was largely his fault. If it hadn't been for his association with her then she never would have met Kiyoshi, she never would have suffered at his hands and more importantly her children would never have been subjected to that... thing, that had been in his Grandfather. By all measures it was Penance's fault that something had happened to the children and to have his mate feel at fault was more than just a kick to the teeth or a stab in the back.
Frankly, there were no words to describe how he felt about it.
"It was never your fault," his tone was fierce but not threatening, one might have said this was an oxymoron but when taken with the expression on his face (one of incredulous disbelief) it was evident that he meant no harm. He was angry that much was for certain, but it was an anger directed at her unnecessary guilt and not at the mare in question. "You never asked to be involved in the dram and you certainly didn't ask for that weird thing to hurt your children!" he was suitably angered by the thought and knew all too well that she wouldn't have been so malicious. Only a mare of incredibly unstable mind would have been so inconsiderate and cruel towards her own children, Numielle was nothing like that and never would be.
His 'feathers' suitably ruffled, he gave his wings a quick flex and a flap to ease the tension and finally released a deep sigh. His nostrils flared and his eyes seemed to glow in the period of discontent before he gave a shake of his head and returned his gaze to his mate. If there was one thing he wished he had never been privvy to, it was her tears. Not once in his life had he ever wanted to give the mare reason to cry and here she was in tears. He'd known that she was trying to keep a brave face for years but there were times when he was sooner she had just been blatantly honest with him, how long had she needed to express herself like this? A part of him didn't really want to know the answer to this...
"Numielle they will get better, I swear to you they will - but you have to promise me that you will too," he furrowed his brow and nudged lightly at her cheek. "No more tears, no more keeping things to yourself..." he sighed again, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "I really think that if they all saw you really smile again then things would start to get better, you don't seem to realise how special those smiles are," he canted his head to the side and regarded his mate for a little longer. "You don't need your horn to heal sweetheart, just yourself... and it's that special quality inside you that will make sure they get better."
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Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 7:24 am
Numielle didn't back away or start at the sound of her mate's voice, though her black-and-blue gaze did snap back up at him. Through her tears she saw his incredulous expression, and though he spoke harsher than she'd heard him in a long time, she knew he wasn't yelling at her or scolding her for her tears. He was just trying to help. . . to reaffirm what he had told her before, time and time again.
It wasn't her fault.
Still, such a thing was easier said than done. And while his arguments were valid, and while it did ease the pain in her heart to know that Penance spoke the truth, it was still difficult to not feel partially to blame. While Penance might think it was all his doing, had she not foolishly been charmed by Kiyoshi in the first place, perhaps things might have turned out differently.
Still. . . . It wasn't Esper's fault he was so estranged. It was that demon that had come between Nocturne and himself, it was that thing that had caused the hurt and Numielle hadn't intentionally picked it up. How did one catch a spirit anyway. . .? It was just a poor bout of luck.
. . . but such a fate, difficult a road it was to travel, wasn't a permanant destination. There were better things to come, better days ahead. Esper would get better and know he was loed, and Nocturne's guilt would ease and . . . they could all be a family once more. Sniffling lightly, averting her tear-stained gaze, the red-maned mare gave a little nod as Penance told her to be more open and to grasp on to hope. Everything would work out someday. . . It just had to!
Despite the tears, a small smile finally cracked as she glanced sheepishly back up at her mate. He had a way of being so charming and silly all at once. . . he seemed to genuinely believe it was her smiles that could change thins, and while she trusted his instinct, she also understood that he might be exaggerating a little. Still, it was incredibly sweet for him to think such a thing and say it. . . . It id make her feel better, and a little more hopeful.
"If Penny thinks Numi should smile than . . . than Numi will do her best to smile as bright as she can. No matter what. Just like she promised Penny-face when she was little." Nodding firmly, her tail began it's rather happy wagging, her rump wriggling a bit involuntarily.
That was more like Numielle. . . . . no more tears. No more regret. Just smiles.
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Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:32 am
Penance wasn't exagerating, the moment that her gaze lightened and the smile clambered onto his lips, the world seemed to become a much brighter place again. In his opinion she did have a special gift and in this case his opinion wasn't humble, he was right and anyone else who begged to differ in any way, shape or form would find a very disgruntled stallion on their hands. Let any other stallion try to proclaim that their mate was brighter than the sun, he had them all beat and he would prove that time and time again.
She may have crept behind the clouds since everything had come pair shaped, hidden to the world much like the green leaves in winter. But as spring began to awaken from its slumber, so too did his ray of sun. It was a total cliche and the vast majority of bystanders would have groaned at how terrible such a thought was, but, there was some times when creativity wasn't needed. In fact, there were times when pure sincerity spoke more highly than any form of prose.
"You remember!" he grinned at the mention of the oath she had made when they were children. It was such a silly oath but it had been special to him. Hopefully she was renewing it as well, he had to confess that he didn't like it when she was so glum. The role of the matyr and fallen song bird didn't suit her, she was a Nightingale and as a consequence she should be free to sing to her heart's content.
Any arguments?
No, he didn't think there would be.
"Your smile is already making waves," he murmured gently and nodded towards the tiny buds in the trees. "I told you it was special, when you start smiling the sun gets brighter and the trees come to life..." He nudged her lightly with a wing and subtly dodged her swaying tail to avoid unnecessary injury (a motion that had long become automatic). "I told you it was special, didn't I?"
"Smile hard enough at the snow and I bet that would turn into flowers too," he mused thoughtfully. Perhaps that's why such flowers were called 'snowdrops'. "I vote we give it a try, nyah?"
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Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 4:19 pm
Numielle couldn't stop the smile that was planted firmly on her features. There was a strange feeling that seemed to make everything all right; laced with love, the feeling she encountered was that of hope, and such a thing had been lacking in the pale mare. To find it now was refreshing, and something she wanted to keep for always.
Hope.
Things would turn out all right between her sons. Esper and Nocturne would be able to learn to tolerate each other, and old wounds could hopefully be forgiven. Everything really would be all right . . . Penance had said as much and seemed to believe it, so why should she doubt his words?
Being unhappy and hurt and confused wasn't going to hep either of her sons. No . . . if her smile was so important than perhaps she'd best get on with giving those smiles away. While she wasn't sure Penance was accurate with her smile being able to transform snow in to flowers, at the very least she'd humor him.
And a very, very small part of the angeni did hope that perhaps it might actually work. One day, when the wind and weather was all perfect perhaps she could do a little magic with her smiles. Giggling softly, she reached up and nuzzled his chin. "Penance never leads Numi wrong, nope, nope! And for that, I'm ever grateful." She added softly, her black and blue eyes gazing up in to his own.
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 9:28 am
He'd led her astray before, but the mare would never have brought that up or implied that he was at fault for what had happened. Much like she had guilt surrounding their sons, he suffered from a similar ailment. However, rather than fall into despair he had merely sworn that it would never happen again and he would do his damned best to ensure that his children could smile at one another eventually. It might take ten years, it may take twenty but eventually they'd make up. Even his great-uncle had intervened and that just meant...
Well what did it mean?
It meant everything would be all right. They wouldn't have to worry about astranged relatives out to destroy them, there would be no corruption. He had been granted a second chance and he was going to embrace that opportunity. He'd dote on his mate properly and without interruption, he'd take her back to their waterfall and make sure she had the home she deserved. Frankly he had an entire list of things he would do but he'd take one day at a time and go with the flow. First thing would be a little vacation (of her choosing of course) and then after that, well, who knew!
"So, Twinks..." he lowered his chin just a touch against her nuzzle. "Where should we go, hm?" he murmured gently. Spring hadn't come yet, but it was just around the corner and change would hit everyone this year, even this unassuming pair of lovebirds.
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 12:10 pm
Numielle would have never thought that Penance could ever lead her astray. Even the trials of their past didn't haunt her, and if she ever thought of time with Kiyoshi, she never once put any guilt or blame on Penance. Penny had saved her, Penny was her knight and all things she adored. . it just didn't translate for her to think poorly of her most beloved.
It didn't translate for her to think poorly of anyone, except maybe, herself.
But she had found a new source of hope and the light had certainly returned to her eyes. Perhaps it wasn't as bright as it could have been but it was a start, and with luck, it would only continue to grow brighter the longer it burned. She wouldn't doubt her sons any longer, nor would she fight Penny's reassurances. If he said all was well, then someday, it would be. Nocturne and Esper would someday make ammends and . . . that would be that.
They could be a happy family once more.
"Ooooh . . . . We should . . . Mmm. . . ." The mare thought out loud, frowning a bit in concentration. Vacation! They were going to go on a vacation together and it was going to be wonderful. She'd make sure of that, this time around, at any rate. But where did she hope to go . . .? It was still cool in the mountains and spring hadn't quite made it to the land. She had been to the mountains, since that's where they lived, and had just visited the plains and woods to see her sisters and family.
"Let's go somewhere far away! Somewhere we've never been. . . . Numi thinks we should just go and see what vacations come to us." That worked. She didn't really know what else was out there or what options they had, so choosing somewhere wasn't easy for the mare. Wrapping a wing over Penance, she added, "Numi doesn't care so long as Penance is there. . . " Blink. Blink. "IT RHYMED! Numi made a rhyme again, all for Penny-face, yes, yes she did!"
It was quite obvious her mood was much improved. No one could argue, not with her excitement.
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Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:37 am
There were moments when even his little mare fell into line with the female stereotypes. She may not have realised it, but she had them and when she did he had to fight rather hard to hide a smile. Evidently every female of every species was destined to speak aloud. He could be thankful that the mare wasn’t one who threw rhetorical questions at him and expected him to answer them. The gods had smiled on him by gracing him with a mare that mused to herself verbally but didn’t expect him to be able to read her mind and reply to her thoughts either. Rather, she formulated her own ideas and then expressed them when she had made her decision.
He waited patiently for this moment, occupying himself by observing the little tweaks and shifts in her facial expression as she considered the possibilities. Where did she want to go, what did she want to see, and who did she want to see? He could practically read that much on her features even if she wasn’t entirely vocal about the details. He tilted his head to the side, continuing to watch as her wings gave little twitches and flutters – eventually she made her announcement and it was a rather enthusiastic one at that. Had he not been accustomed to her demeanour it would have given him a start. Alas, the enthusiasm laden in her announcement caused him to grin and he gave a curt nod.
“So, we take to our wings and just pick a direction then?” he asked curiously, intent on finding out exactly what his little mare had in mind. He had always known she could be a little bit clumsy when it came to flight and while he had no qualms with travelling with her in this manner, he did worry that he may need to learn first aid. That being said she might surprise him completely and be completely sound in her ability to fly, well practiced and not so inclined to crash land as she had done on previous occasions. As cute as her crashes had been (and she’d always been okay), he preferred to avoid them. “Would you prefer to go north, south, east, west... or would you sooner we walked and followed our hooves?” he enquired.
It was only when she rhymed that he gave a chuckle and nudged her gently, “I think it would be safe to say you found that yourself, sweetpea,” he murmured.
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Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:50 pm
At Penance's agreement to just pick a direction and fly, Numielle's excitement grew. Of course she had only just returned from her visit, and with the disheveled state of her wings due to some over use, she wasn't quite ready to pick up and leave. But that didn't mean they couldn't do a little planning right away! Besides, she wanted to see her sons and daughter first, spend a few days in their company before she took off once more with her beloved.
Black and blue eyes peeked around them, her expression falling thoughtful for a moment before she settled on a decision. "Let's go . . . Let's go north, Penny-face! Over the mountains, since Numi doesn't know what's beyond." It wasn't close to winter yet, so it was unlikely they'd get caught in severe weather. She'd traveled south to the plains many times, and wanted to go somewhere new with her mate. North was as new to Numielle as she could guess, and if they traveled at an angle they might get to see both some desert and some sea.
"But where we go past the mountains, I don't really care so long as we can be together." She added with a firm nod, the tip of her spiked tail swishing a bit. "We can walk and fly I think . . . we can do whatever we like, can't we? At least that's what Numi thinks. . . " She grinned up at her ebony mate, her eyes lighted with excitement at this new prospect.
". . . but only after a few days rest, oh yes! Numi wants to see her special-specials, and rest her wings some, oh yes she does!" Not that she expected Penance to object, but she did want to let him know she was awfully tired. It had been emotional leaving her mother, neices, nephew and sister. It had been a rather emotional reunion with Penance - first his annoyance, than her insecurity surfacing, and now excitement! A few days rest would be good on everyone and leave her in great spirits for their future trip.
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:18 am
For now the enthusiasm would be enough for him - he didn't need to travel, not immediately at least. The very fact that she had a glimmer in her eyes again and the optimism was creeping back into her psyche was more than he could ask for. She was beginning to see a more positive end to the tale again and in time, she would see that things would be just fine. The fact that an immediate date hadn't been set also left it open to spontaneity, when she was ready she'd let him know and he'd set off with her, until then he'd be content to cuddle his mate and let her wander back and forth between her children.
Besides, the state of her wings was fairly dismal; they needed a good preen and rest before he was happy to let her explore agian. In short, he wouldn't let the petite female fly anywhere until she had a full wing of feathers and all the flight feathers were secured - his leathery wings were somewhat different, but years in her company had given him experience in what he didn't possess - especially when two of his offspring had them and may or may not cause permanent damage to themselves if they weren't tended to!
"As you said, we can do whatever you want," he replied with a smile. He suspected he'd follow her lead on this one, she was often more intrigued than things than he was and to be frank, he still got a kick out of watching her and her overexcitable ways. He gained joy through her and the little things she did, however, he could appreciate scenary and oddities as well...he just didnt find them quite so appealing.
They didn't have hips like his mate did!
He should be ashamed, but he wasn't.
"I would say that a few days with Dove, Nocturne and Esper would be most enjoyable," he added and nosed the excitable mare gently. "I got wind recently that Esper had returned, perhaps after you've touched bases with Dove and Nocturne, you could see about a reunion with him, hm?"
He suspected she would be thoroughly distracted for the next few days, if not weeks, but that was a damn sight better than her moping that was for sure.
...He could take a back seat for the time being.
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Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 11:11 pm
It was good that Numielle was such an innocent personality. While she could still hurt and could still harbor grief and anxiety, she was also easily forgiving and swiftly distracted. It didn't take much for her heart to cling desperately to a silver lining, to make the wounds of her soul and heart heal as soon as possible.
While Nocturne and Esper weren't close, and didn't have a bond she had hoped her sons might develop, she knew there was still hope. And the glee that she felt by hearing of her dual-winged sons return filled her heart with joy. It had been such a long time since she had seen her son, and she desperately wished to to catch up with him.
Would he be the same? Would he remember her? Well. . . hopefully. It pained her that she hadn't been able to fix him with her love, to soothe his hurts and make him feel accepted and loved all on her own. But . .. apparently what he needed was something only Azzinoth could provide. Such a thought could still pierce her heart, but right now, she wasn't going to acknowledge it.
No, no, no.
Esper was her son and she loved him unconditionally, just as she did Penance, Nocturne and Dove. No matter their complaints, no matter their hurts or worries or sulking personalities, they were her special-specials for always.
Wings flaring slightly, she bumped her head gently against Penance's, her tail slowing in its wag as she offered a smile. "Ok than. First time with the babies," not that they were babies any longer, of course, "and then we can steal away. Numi likes this plan, oh yes, yes she does." She nodded firmly, her good natured personality clearly resumed upon her face.
It would still take time for her to fully heal. . . and she couldn't promise to keep tears away for always, but right now Numielle felt happier than she'd felt in a long time. She was reunited with her best-friend and mate, and was assured that someday, somehow, everything would once again be right in her own little world.
"We should go now, shouldn't we? I don't want to miss any of them. . . ." Which was true. She hoped all her children would be there, though she knew if Nocturne was there, Esper would likely be scarce, and vice-versa. So she'd seek them out individually and adore them all. How she had missed them so, even when surrounded by the love of Nimue, Sapphire, Airlia and her blood relations.
"Numi's glad to be home."
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