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 Posted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:34 pm
__ ________ Whether You Want To or Not ________ __ "Hey! Hey! Jack, you there?"
A rock clattered off the dusty panes of the old home that Jackie Cobb shared with her mother, father, and two younger sisters. It was certainly an aging home, but it was what her parents could afford. With her father serving on the guard and her mother deep in town, working busily as one of the few nurses on call. Regardless of it's size and condition, it was still sturdy and useful.
"Paul, y'gotta stop that! I'm here, but my folks ain't! I gotta watch my sisters!"
The young girl scrunched up her nose as she opened the window and poked her head out to confront her equally young friend. Her bright red hair was chopped short and her expressive green eyes were narrowed with mock anger. He knew better than to come to her during the day, when she was supposed to be the "responsible" adult while her parents were away.
"Aw, c'mon! You're always bein' a stick in the mud, Jack! Get out 'ere and come play with us! The guys and I found a dead deer out near the river an' we was gonna go poke it with a stick or something! Lucky says 'e knows a good way what to get it's skull clean! Would make an awesome thing to put on the club house!"
"Paul! I wanna, but you know I can't!" She called out, nails tapping anxiously on the window sill. The want to go out and romp irritated her to no end, yet she knew she couldn't leave her sisters behind without serious consequences. She could already hear a thin, high pitched wail coming from the youngest of her sisters as another argument broke out in one of the back rooms.
"Lookit, I can be out to play later, once mom or dad gets home! It'll be a few hours yet, but I can't sneak out til one of 'em is here to watch those two!"
"Tch, you ain't no fun... But I'll see if I can't make 'em hold up for a bit. You best be out here b'fore nightfall, else you can't come bleach it with us." He jutted out a lip as he fussed at his red-headed friend, though he was quite fond of the spunky tomboy.
"I'll be out there, you ain't gotta worry about that, Paul! Now get outta here before we get in trouble!" She slid the window shut with a snap and turned her back, not wishing to dive back into the violent fray that was keeping the peace between her two younger sisters. Someone almost always ended up with some hurt or another...
She'd be out as soon as her mother returned, when the sun decided to fall towards the earth and the moon debated coming out to brighten the darkening sky.
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 11:05 pm
__ ________ A Night Gone Wrong ________ __ Her mother had returned early enough so that Jack could escape before sunset. It was fortunate for her, else Paul, Lucky, and the other guys might have left her to have their own fun while she steeped in the misery that was taking care of two children half as old as herself, one of which suffered from some sort of strange illness or another. She had no name for it and the doctors couldn't think of a name for it.
Regardless, she was fortunate to be able to get out and get some fresh air. The deer proved to be interesting enough. She had never seen an honest to god dead thing before, not including various insects and whatnot that she had seen around the house. It smelled bad, but was only freshly dead, so it wasn't too bad. It wasn't like it had been sitting for days. It was strange. And there was lots of blood, but it didn't make her queasy. She was tough and wanted to prove it to the boys she romped with. They managed to sever it's head, after some struggling.
After that little ordeal, they skinned it and left it sitting in a bed of ants, hoping that within a few days the ants would leave it clean.
She washed up in the creek and wiggled back into her shirt and pants, which she had removed while taking on the gory task, in naught but her underpants. The boys did the same, as they did not wish for their parents to notice they had been up to some sort of odd, bloody task.
It was on her hike back that tragedy struck.
She was unaware that two shady figures were stalking after her as she made her way across the outskirts of town and towards the small home that she and her family shared. She was feeling rather pleasant, a grin was plastered across her face as she went. Despite the poor day, it had ended well enough and she had quite the adventure with her rabble of friends.
They were on her before she could cry out. A thick hand wrapped across her mouth, cutting off a scream as the two teenagers were on her. She couldn't see them well, but there threats were enough to keep her from struggling. A guy and a girl, that was what she could tell from their voices and auras. Tears streamed down her face as a bad situation became worse.
"Hold on, Jack~ It will all be over soon. Don't think about it."
The voice was soft, but kept her attention through the assault.
Her mind blanked and when she came to her senses completely, she was wandering home, shivering. She slipped into her room through the partially opened window, silently crying as she nestled into the thick, comforting blankets.
"It will all be fine... I promise. It isn't your fault. Hold on tight."
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 11:52 pm
__ ________ Something Isn't Right... ________ __ Years had past since that night...
Things were changing and not quite all for the better. Sure, some things were looking up for her family in general. Her father was rising in rank and her mother was quite well known in their town and many of the surrounding ones. They were better off now than they had been since their small family began years and years ago.
Life in general seemed better off for all involved, but there was something deeper bothering the young woman. She felt wrong in general. Ever since she hit puberty things had been off. There were things growing off of her chest that weren't supposed to be there. Her body was doing things that it wasn't supposed to be doing. She wasn't supposed to be a woman and that was that. Her parents no longer called her Jack. It was a "cute" nickname when she was young, but wasn't fitting for her as she aged into an adult.
Depression had been setting in, but that voice had returned. The one that she had dreamed of so long ago, her rock against the storm in her nightmares.
"Jack..."
"Mhnn?"
"Your parents said we were going to school, didn't they?"
"Yeah, they said something about a school. That's cool, I guess. New people and all... And I hope for a chance to be me." She sighed as she spoke quietly to herself and to the voice that had come to comfort her again in her time of need. Her parents were sending her away to learn, both skills for her future and about the Dæmon that had been flickering at her side, ever so faintly, for the past few years. They could no longer deny the fact that their "daughter" was changing and needed more guidance than they could provide.
She was all too eager for the chance to get away.
"Bags are packed. I've got my ticket. Just waiting for the train to arrive." She cleared her throat and peered down the tracks. The sun was high and hot. Hopefully it would be coming soon to whisk her away from this life and towards new opportunities.
"Maybe you can just tell them your name is Jack, not Jackie. I think that is a good idea, you know? To make you feel more comfortable when you get there. Look, it's a chance to make new friends. You haven't had stable ones since Paul and the gang."
"I haven't had time..."
"Don't make excuses, kiddo."
"I'm not."
A scowl set firmly in her features as she complained at the voice and the presence seemed to flicker and disappear. She was glad for a moment of silence, away from the badgering that the voice had been throwing at her over the past few minutes. Yet at the same time she felt a longing for it to return, not that she was willing to admit that yet.
"It'll be alright..."
And she sincerely hoped it would be. There was little peace in her mind as anxieties tore at her. She could hardly remember anything that had occurred over the past few years, and perhaps that was fortunate. It was as if a gap existed in her mind and this sometimes worried her, though the voice insisted that things would be alright and she was better off.
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:27 pm
__ ________ A New Place ________ __ The train had come.
It had taken her away, just like she wished.
All would be different. All would be better. The voice promised her that much and she was eager to listen. Though faint, he had returned to her, or rather, she. She felt very feminine since their arrival at the college.
It was certainly new and different. Plus, with luck, they had arrived in time for the next semester.
Her surroundings were new and she had a new place to live. This was her new home and she was eager to get to know it, yet nervous at the same time.
"Don't worry, Jack. You worry too much. Just keep your head up and do your best." As her dæmon spoke to her, she thought she saw a brief flash of red fur and a thick, bushy tail. It shifted to that of the hulking anteater, a creature so strange that she did not recognize it, and then to that lithe, long bodied frame of the otter.
"I'm trying not to worry about it... It's just a lot to take in all at once, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. But still, chin up and all of that."
"I got it..." She flopped on her bed and curled up to rest against the new pillows, her pillows, in a tiny ball. "I wish I knew what to call you. I've got a few syllables playing around in my head."
"You call me what you wish." The voice was kindly as the dæmon did her best to comfort the girl, curling near her, though she could hardly be felt.
"You really wanna know? I feel kind of dumb, playing around with words and such."
"It isn't dumb and yes, I want to know."
"Well, I was thinking... Sevaliibastion. I like the way it feels when I say it. I think that ought to be it. And I can call you Sev for short, and it still feels right." She sighed and rolled to face the window, thinking longingly of running amuck again, like she did in the days before she needed her dæmon for comfort. Ah, those had been the days, carefree and wonderful.
"Sev. I like that. If it feels right, it feels right, and that is that. You know... I really think you are going to like it here. Your first class, biology, is starting in a few short days. Maybe you can get out and get to know a few people while you are waiting? Hell, you could even get a head start in some of your thinkings on yourself."
"You're always one step ahead with the good ideas, Sev. Guess I ought to get it a go while we have some time to relax. I've seen you take a few different forms, or what looks like to be a few different ones over the past couple of years... I know some of them, but there is one that I don't. Well, two, actually. But I recognize one, the rat... Rats are vermin, does that make me undesirable?"
"Don't think of it that way, think positively."
"Well... They are pretty good at what they do, surviving. And they are social... But they can be bossy, I seen 'em showing each other who is boss sometimes. So, I suppose I am adaptable."
"That's a good start."
"Then there is the otter. I know I have seen that often. Those are funny on land, but they are so graceful in the water. I guess that means I am good in situations I am familiar with."
"Making progress, dear~ Any others you recognize at the moment?"
"Uhm... Oh, the squirrel! They store food away for later in holes, so I suppose that means I am getting prepared for the future."
"Very nice. I think we will do well here, after all. Like I said~ Now, you have a big day, tomorrow. Probably best if we get some shut eye."
"And, as usual, you are almost always right." She chuckled slightly, spirits lifted from the little chat she had with her other half. She slipped out of her clothes and beneath the covers for a nice, long rest.
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:40 pm
__ ________ Exercises ________ __ Jack sighed as she moved through the library with several thick and dusty volumes of books laden in her arms. She, at the urging of her dæmon, had decided to do a little research. Well, it wasn't only Sev that had gotten her to do a bit of research. She had been favoring a form that Jack couldn't identify and it had been bugging her over the past few days. There were a few, but the long-snouted one, and a strange canine both stood out.
Of course, there had to be reasons. She understood why the otter and the squirrel, in particularly, had been prevalent in her swirling mass, the squirrel would show her wish to prepare for the months to come, while the otter showed how she was insecure in situations she was unfamiliar with, while in those she knew, she thrived. But what of the others?
She sat at one of the many old, oak tables and sighed as she slouched in a table. The experiences of campus were becoming quite overwhelming and she had been, more or less, isolated. Her choices to be alone were her own, as the thought of being surrounded by strangers after such a shift in her life, albeit one that would end up being positive for her future, made her feel uncomfortable and a smidge shifty.
She flipped through the pages slowly, leafing in an attempt to find pictures that resembled the three creatures that she couldn't identify. The first she really wished to know about, the long snouted creature that loomed behind her and an old, black and white image caught her eye. The name was printed boldly alongside, as well as a list of information.
"Says here that it's a giant anteater."
"Giant anteater? That is an interesting name. Does it have information?"
"Well, it has some. It says there isn't a whole lot of study that has been done on them in the wild... So I suppose that doesn't give us a lot, actually... But hey, here it says that they are generally solitary and don't tend to nest in one place. I guess that goes to me being pretty much lonely right now, yeah? Well, lemme see what else it says. They are light sleepers, because they live alone and need to be aware. So I am guessing you are telling me I must be alert."
"That does make a good amount of sense, Jack. Anything else?"
"Not much really, says their sense of smell is important and that their claws are strong and can be dangerous to enemies. Again, I suppose I should be alert and I can defend myself when need be." She sighed quietly and scanned the brief article, before flipping on.
"There are others that I have seen, though they haven't been as frequent since we have gotten here. I saw them before we left..."
She continued to flip slowly, eyeing each as her dæmon shifted steadily at her side, taking on the form of the silver-backed, canine creature that she had seen. Her tail wagged as she slipped back into the swirling mass, elongating, shrinking, growing in the many forms that she had been picking through.
"Ah! Here we go, the jackal! Hm, I haven't seen those before, either. I'll admit, they seem a little more dog-like and comforting than the anteater, those look kind of strange. Says here that they tend to travel alone or in pairs, so I suppose that goes back to me isolating myself as of late... Also, it says they are opportunistic, will eat almost everything, and adapt well, so I suppose you are telling me I will get through this. It also says they are cunning and wary. They can be tough when needed, going back to me being able to defending myself."
"That's a good bit of information, as well. Quite a mouthful, but I am thinking the information will do us both some good." She grinned as she peered up fondly at her human, brushing gently against her legs, though it felt only like a soft breeze. The smaller form of a red squirrel scaled the desk, to be nearer to the girl. She did this, only to revert to the long-snouted creature.
"Yeah... Last one and I think I am done for the day."
"I agree, this is a good deal of thinking to absorb, if you know what I mean..."
"Yeah, I get yah." She chuckled, though her mind was busily trying to figure out just what it all meant when concerning herself. So she was tough and would survive. She never was much of a loner growing up, but now she was? Would that change? She sorely missed her childhood friends and longed for a similar crowd, eventually.
"The last one, I haven't seen since... Well, since we were told we would be coming to the school in the first place. Looks like a giant cat... Says here... African Lion. Well, lioness. You don't have that big, fluffy mane that the one in the picture does." She grew silent for a moment. Why was her dæmon taking on a form that was so blatantly female, if she did not feel female herself?
"Well, what does it say? Go on, tell me!"
"It says... It says that they thrive where they are, even if the going is rough. It says that the lionesses are notably hard working and that the males can be brutal..." Again, she grew silent, a bit of anxiety over the distinct differences in the genders. A nudge from a gentle, long snout urged her on.
"It says they are reliable and social... Though I admit, I haven't been very social since we left." She sighed quietly, blaming the missing lioness on her unwillingness to connect with her classmates. She briefly found herself wondering if that form would begin to show if she began to socialize with the others.
"Maybe..." Sev couldn't tell her other half if that would happen or not, because she didn't even know, but she wanted to be helpful, a steadfast companion. "It's worth a shot. You ought to be with the others, anyways. I don't think it's good for you, locking yourself away in your room."
"Alright..." She snapped the book closed, as she had made herself a promise to rest once she had finished the next one. There was something else bugging her, however. The red and yellow patches that were on Sev's shoulders, regardless of the form she was in.
"What is it?"
"Those... Those odd colors on you. I wonder what they mean?"
"Why not save it for later. We read a lot today, let it sink in. Lets go get dinner. Maybe chat it up with a few folks."
"Alright." She scooted back and stood, gathering the books in her arms, and walked off to put them back on the shelves. Her dæmon followed in a swirl, shifting steadily from the anteater, to the jackal, to the squirrel, and back.
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:22 pm
__ ________ Green Finch and Linnet Bird, Nightingale, Blackbird ________ __ Days passed with little event.
Sev continued to nudge Jack into social situations, though she was still not quite comfortable in her surroundings. She continued to stick to those less social forms, but a flicker of the otter and the lioness were beginning to show through, albeit only just. She was doing her best to make friends, but there was still that strange shift in atmosphere that she was not used to.
Still, Sev and Jack kept at it. Something was still bothering her, a heaviness concerning the strange, colorful marks and the blatant taking of a female form with her own dæmon, although it was only a s**t that was showing up in small glimpses, hardly at all like a few of the others.
She moved along campus slowly, a book clutched firmly in her hands as she settled along the stone edge of the fountain.
"Birds?"
"Yeah, I been thinking about it. You usually see a lot of color in two creatures, fish and birds. I dunno why a fish would only have one spot of color like that, not one I've seen... But maybe a bird!"
"See, told you that you were clever. Get to it, lets see what we find!"
She thumbed through the pages, the entire time she and her dæmon relaxing. She tried to keep her mind clear of the anxious thoughts concerning her own gender.
"Nope-nope-nope-nope... Hey, wait, look here!"
Sev jerked to attention at her human's cry, tan, rounded ears perked forward, while a dog-like tail wagged and her long snout sniffed anxiously at Jack's hands.
"Hm?"
"The marks look just like the ones on the wings of the Red-Wing Blackbird. It says... It says that they tend to stay in flocks, even outside of breeding season, and nest close together. It seems to come back to the whole social thing, even though I haven't been much, lately. They roost close together and will defend their territories aggressively... Oh... Eh..."
"What, now?"
"These pictures, look." She tilted the book , revealing the images to the prying eyes of her other half.
"They look so different. The female is pretty much brown, but the male... The male has bright patches of yellow and red on his wings."
But what does that mean? She thought quietly to herself as she watched the faint figure flicker and change, the bright patch visible despite the swirling mass. One form that was showing up faintly was distinctly female, yet the marking was distinctly male? Hnn... She would definitely have to think further on it. But later. The thought right now made her stomach hurt with anxiety.
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