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 Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:49 am
I'm hugely amused by "Genre Savy" but I had one question:
XD Based on her favorite Genre's, do her predictions ever go awry?
I would suggest that as a back up to a normal wrench: (just in case it doesn't work) what about one of those toy ones they put in kids play sets? The big bonker ones that smart like hell to get clocked with, but won't break bones if they connect. Wooden one might even work out, if the metal one doesn't.
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:00 am
Yaay~
Time for another critique! I didn't know you traded art for them!
Mostly, this is just about her arrogant/insecure character flaw. I can understand you wanting her to be an arrogant person who thinks she is better than everyone. The only issue I have with that is a lot of the Negaverse already has a quality like that already. D8 They can't all be arrogant, otherwise it stops being interesting.
Also, to go along with that, I have a question about her insecurities. Why doesn't she feel that she isn't worth living? Does she have low self-esteem? Did something happen to her to make her feel that way about herself? Is it a psychological sort of condition? Basically, why does she have to feel like she is better than others in order to feel good?
Oh! One more thing! Sorry. XD Does her shyness make it difficult for her to approach senshi and carry out missions? If she was shy, you think it would inhibit her progress a little bit, which probably wouldn't make Charonite very happy with her, I don't think.
Hmm...that's all I got so far! I hope it helps!
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:02 am
@Moon:
EEEE, this is a good question!!! :O :O :O
I think that if Tate were faced with a normally aggressive person - like, Franz i guess or someone similar - she'd be all *headshake* and go home and take out her aggravation on some computer models. But if someone really irritated her, I don't think she'd be able to stop herself from punching them - she's not temperamental by any means, but she's both jealous and insecure and that's a terrible combination for even a normal person.
Health issues wise, I'd say that she gets sunburned really easily. She's also not very fit, either - this is a situation she rectifies herself once she realizes she'll only get beat down more as a negaverse agent if she isn't fit enough to actually do damage and steal star seeds. Also, it's not that she loves Charonite or the ideals of the Negaverse, she just loves having the freedom to kick people's asses. I bet she's the kind of Negaverse lieutenant who hunts down people she knows in real life and steals their star seeds for kicks. > _ > "YOU LOOKED AT ME FUNNY - NOW DIE A HORRIBLE WRENCHY DEATH!"
@Ryugen:
Of course her predictions go wrong. After all, she can never predict that someone might read shounen manga instead - where in shoujo, a defeated hero is very easy to lure over to the dark side, a shounen manga would find the defeated hero MYSTERIOUSLY POWERING UP. So it can go wrong. ("Your parents are sneaking around" does not always equal secret engagement, either. Tate's very good at predicting things in uncommon situations, but there's so many things going on in normal ones that she normally doesn't bother trying to guess what's going on!)
I depend really heavily on the fact that Tate does not exercise much and depends upon her low appetite and high metabolism to stay skinny when I chose her first weapon. She won't have the force behind her blows to break bone, unless she jumped and luckily hit the opponent's head. At the most she'd bruise someone - and by the time she's strong enough to break bone, she'd probably be a captain and have knives already! XD;
Wow, thanks guiz o - o!! if you want to claim arts, just let me know who you want.
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:09 am
((If you're up for it I'd love art for either Regulus or Malachite. Malachite's still a quest. <:3))
XD I can kinda see the awry-predictions being fun for RP. XD
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:33 am
@Mriae: Hmmm... OK, let me try to explain and you tell me if it explains your question.
Tate only really gets attention from her parents when she does something ~amazing~. Like, say she wins a competition of some kind - one at school. They'll be really happy and buy her a new game or something. The more she kicked a**, the happier they are. Unfortunately, since she did very well in middle school, her parents expect more than As, they expect A+s, and she wasn't able to meet that standard so she stopped trying. But in lieu of parental approval, Tate makes up stories about how the higher-performing kids cheat and makes them part of her "personal mythos" - the stuff she writes in her journal. Her insecurities stem from the fact that she knows she's lying and she wishes she wasn't...
Did that make any sense?
I think Tate's like a schoolyard bully, just with better impulse control. > _ >;;
As for the shyness, I imagine in the very beginning, Tate isn't certain that she's doing it right (...as in, HOW DO I STEALED STARSEED?) so yes, she's uncertain about approaching senshi. But that passes very quickly once she's practiced on some drunkards. > 3 >
@Ryugen: Got it! biggrin
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:49 pm
Ahhh, alrighty!
That makes more sense.
Would it be possible to get some art of Painite? 83 She's still a quest character, but I could definitely use some art of her. <3
All of her references and stuff are in my quest thread!
Also - if you want anymore critiques, just lemme know! I like doing them~ >w<
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Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:52 pm
 See, raffle nerves are good for something...
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 2:52 pm
Returning the favor! heart 
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:02 pm
*STICKS THAT ADORABLE ANTIMONY IN THE PROFILE POST*
* u * I LOVE YOU
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:05 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 5:11 pm
All right, I've been sitting around and trying to find an angle to crit this from for a while (holy ******** you've put a lot of work into this! The concept is solid, man!), and here's what I can come up with:
I'd like to see some more pronounced drawbacks to Genre Savvy. It's awesome as a strict virtue, don't get me wrong! But there are problems that would realistically come along with it. For example: You mentioned the doorknob in the haunted house. What if she's just by herself, say in the hallways at school late-night after a club's let out, and she catches sight of a shadow? Genre Savvy as she is, would she assume that there's a crazed serial killer after her - even though it's just the janitor? You went into this a little in your questions section, but I think it could be developed further.
I'd also like to know more about Anime Club, odd as that is. Tate's character has taken refuge from people as a whole, it seems, as a result of her shoddy home life - the entire aim of her being Negaverse is for her to take that bitterness and give it a violent outlet. But she has one social connection that seems to work for her, and I want to know more about it! Does she have any friends there, or does she just go to watch shows? She must at least have some feeble relationships with her fellow clubbers, even if it's just to argue over whether Vash the Stampede or Alucard would win in a fight.
Another thing I'd like to know a bit more about is how Tate developed her ambidexterity. It's key for her fighting style, but it's hard to say where she would have gotten it from - and most people become ambidextrous through practice, not through being born with the right genes. Someone who sits around and plays video games wouldn't have a lot of reason to develop this ability, so there must be something else in her life that gave her reason to learn it.
That about covers what I see for now, though! This character is totally awesome - I love the name especially! - and the history in particular is well-developed and love. You've done an awesome job with her!
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 6:31 pm
Re: Genre Savvy-
What you're forgetting is that Tate reads shoujo manga. That's a huge breadth of manga, but most of it focuses around emotions and such - love and hate and passion and that kind of thing that Tate seems to lack. XD; So if she did hear a doorknob rattle or see a suspicious shadow, she's more likely to assume "lover's tryst" or "rapist" than serial killer. XD If there's a note on her desk, she will foremost assume that it is either a) a pass to the principal's office, or b) a letter from a secret admirer. Hmmm... She has no qualms about telling someone antagonistic where their current victim is (if she were in Hillworth she'd be the boy reporting Franz's whereabouts to Killingworth at all times, especially when he's doing something sort of questionable) since she knows that Love Always Prevails, and if it doesn't prevail, there's going to be a plot twist upcoming very shortly where some heretofore unknown person comes forth and declares his or her love for the protagonist (in this example, Franz). Because that is totally how the world works, right?
The biggest drawback to this trait/ability is that she tends to categorize people as heroes, villains, bystanders, and background players, and everyone knows that you never do that.
For an example: Imagining Tate knew about the senshi and the negaverse, along with traits of major power players, she would be able to tell you, completely confident, that Gunn Killingworth = Charonite. But she would not be able to tell you that Astraea was a cat, or that Charys was a super senshi, because she categorizes cats (and Charys!) as background players, and would never consider them able to "lead the charge", as it were. When people act outside her expectations, that really throws her for a loop - so if she ever saw Charys henshin into Sailor Nerissa, she would probably back off and not attack. XD;
Right then, anyway. This view of "Love Conquers All" is sorely tested in the Negaverse, but in the end she decides that Charonite's love for the Negaverse is what's going to conquer and she's only there to kick a** anyway.
Re: Anime Club-
I imagine that Tate has tentative friendships with a lot of people in the club, but they're mostly "we see each other in school and don't mind talking if there's no one else" types of people. When it just started, she would talk to and do things for just about anyone who said a kind word to her, but eventually she decided that that wasn't what she wanted from friendships (to be a supplicant and a tag-along) so she's content (but not happy!) to just talk to people about the show they're watching currently. Because she's the secretary, she probably gets called on to arbitrate fights a lot (we already watched Trigun three times this semester! no we haven't! yes we have tate what do the minutes say) but mostly she just goes to watch the shows. She likes being around the people, though, otherwise she'd probably just watch at home on the computer.
Re: Ambidexterity-
Tate was, most likely, born a lefty - she just got annoyed with all the right-handed notebooks out there, and getting yelled at for turning in papers on the "wrong side" of the paper probably bothered her a lot too, so she taught herself to write right-handed. Alternatively, she just thought it would be a cool thing to do (inspired by Wesley in the Princess Bride, mayhaps?) and she kept up with it just because some people tended to get freaked out.
Or perhaps she just broke her arm as a child and had to learn. XD
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:29 pm
tate diary entry, sample 1
mood: philosophical
do you see? things change. i've been changing everything.
it's rather peaceful, that pitch black when the only light goes out and i'm stranded on my bed, floating, so i think about the bad luck, about the dried old blood, bad feelings between two souls, and i think: that's one hell of an offering to whatever god you please. so please take these gifts you gave me, and find in them an alphabet. still some words are too wrong to define.
now the whole world is waking up to find i've half murdered the mystery.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:16 am
likeLinen Hobbies: Adore them all, as I can see how they all relate to each other!
Virtues: ROFL. She's so paranoid < 3. Good job on connecting the hobby to it!
Exact opposite of me. I'd be like! "Ohmygoodness! It's a magical door! I bet there's something evil in there, but since I'm just that much of a bad-a**, I might as well have a bad-a** death!" >w<.
However, the shadow part. Totally like me. This part is perfect, I think.
Flaws: Hmm! For some reason, after reading the virtues, I thought she would be the type of girl that's extremely loud and breaking everything. Dramatic, y'know?
As for being jealous, awesome. I totally guessed she would be. For the insecure part, bravo for providing such a stable reason.
I think, that her family explained and showed why she is the way she is. Family's a good way to show why your character is angry with him/herself, and you connected that with games too! God, she has such a cool fighting style. I'm a fan < 3.
Honestly, this is a terrible critique. I've given barely any advice, but really. That's just how awesome she is >w<. Really good job.
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Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:02 pm
WOLFRAMITE AND ANTIMONY
TOTALLY TEAM ROCKET ******** AMAZING
Tate has rewritten the Team Rocket motto for Team ******** Amazing.
Prepare for trouble!
Make it double!
To direct the world to devastation!
To divide the peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love --
to extend our reach to the star(seeds) above!
Antimony!
Wolframite!
TEAM ******** AMAZING, LET'S KICK SOME SENSHI ASSES
SURRENDER NOW OR WE'LL KICK YOUR ASSES EVEN HARDER THAN WE WOULD OTHERWISE Cower in fear, senshi. D:<
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