Rika's Journal

[.Zan.38.]

Entry 6

Oh father and mother and I, we spend a lot of time together I s'pose. I wanna be free though, a fire burns in my heart and I wonder... I feel a bit like Uncle Shadda. He is younger then me but more confused and he feels weird too. I talk to him sometimes and he seems to understand. Butcha know mom gets mad because I've been setting some things on fire... whoops... I don't mean to really I don't!!! Like this holiday, grandmama put up this tree thing... and I... burned it... hehe... momma wasn't mad but grandmama was traumatized. I think that's why she lit this 8 candle thing instead... and then she lit one that was black red and green too! How odd....  

[.Zan.38.]

Entry 7

So many days have passed and we are merely biding our time until we can get to this place. Momma is taking care of the pets in question and Grandmama is saving up some side cash to give to them. She looks a little pale lately but Momma hasn't noticed which is odd... I think something's wrong with Grandmama but Momma won't hear a word of it.  

[.Zan.38.]

Entry 8

We moved ya know! And I grew! Its time to make some friends! Everyone got really sad when grandmother said she was going to die... it's not my business though so I suppose I just ignored it...

Anyway I'm going to make lots of friends and make my life worth something you know? I mean... I feel like there is so much I haven't done... and so much I want to do. So I'm gonna go out... and do it.  

[.Zan.38.]

Entry 9

Grandmother is dead. I'm not as sad as mom is. Mom is so traumatized... it almost makes me hate her. Almost... I suppose mom always thought I was cute and sweet... but I get angry easily and none of this... none of it makes me happy. I don't even have a friend... not a boyfriend either.  

[.Zan.38.]

Entry 10

Friends. Friends Friends. I'm trying to get some... there aren't many and I can't seem to find them... then there was this horrible tragedy! Me and papa were surrounded by the Rogos! Then momma dashed in ... at it was all over... she got capture and father and crew went after her... papa.... is now a feather. I'm not taking it as bad as mom is... she really needs to pull herself together... being depressed doesn't help anyone.  

[Teh Zan]

Entry 11

I snuck into my mother's room while she was contemplating Daddy and praying to the light of the moon in the kitchen. She sometimes sits in the shop with him and just watches him. It's as if she's trying to transmit her memories to him so he can remember us... if Papa forgets...

Anyway, I stole Momma's music player... there is this one song I particularly like... here lookit the lyrics...

Well painted passion
You rightly expect
Impersonation
The dumbing down of love
Jaded in anger
Love underwhelms you
No box of chocolates
Whichever way you fall
And if i tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you listen
Lover alone without love
No no i'll get this
I want to treat you
You're still not famous and you haven't struck it rich
Underachieving
Cos no-one's receiving
This tunnel vision
Is turning out all wrong
Music is worthless unless it can make a
Complete stranger break down and cry
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?
Love alone without love
Without love
Without love
Without love

 

[Teh Zan]

Entry 12

Daddy still hasn't grown and I'm so lonely.... what to do? What to write? I dunno what to put here... sorry... but until something exciting happens... well you know...