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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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 Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:44 am
Nat shrugged, shaking his head. "I had a ...interesting family life. My mother and father were both hard workers, treated me decently. My father worked a rather shady job. He'd disappear randomly, only to come back looking troubled or beaten... I was pretty young when he disappeared and didn't come back." Nat's eyes looked sad, angry and distant. "Mom always said he loved us, and wouldn't just leave us, so we just assumed he was dead... Which left me to look for work at a very young age." He sighed, sitting finally.
"But...when i hit my teenage years... things became more ad more difficult. My mother... she became a prostitute to support us... I found out because I walked in on her once..." He eyes seemed to flash as he relived painful memories. "I ran off, not knowing what to think... The only thing that brought me any light at all...was my dear Raquel..." He looked down at the grass, picking at it absentmindedly. "She played the guitar, and beautifully I might add...her voice was so soft and pure...and just...lovely..." he smiled, his eyes wanting to water up but he pushed them back. "I guess you could say she got me into the music business... She inspired me... and I learned to play, if just for her...." He furrowed his brow.
"It wasn't until we were just a bit older, just before she turned twenty...she told me about her own past and how horrid it was. I learned she too had been working as a prostitute, almost forced into it from a young age... the poor thing..." his eyes softened and then grew fierce at the thoughts of what other men did to her.
"It upset me to say the least...I promised her I'd earn enough money as a musician to support the both of us, so she'd never have to sleep with a strange man ever again..." He looked up to Teagan, but diverted his eyes again.
"But the music business is hard work... ecspecially for a nobody like me.... I worked hard but never got a bite on any of my music. Thats when a friend turned me onto this..." He fished out a little pipe form his pocket. "It helped my mind just open up and create the most amazing, pure things directly form my heart and soul...that and it proved to be a big way for me to just relax and ... just not worry you know? It was as if for just a few minutes at least... everything were fine. Raquel... My Roxy, and I... were happy and no one could touch us... at least in my mind." He sighed, putting it away. "I dont think she ever said anything about my drugs...because she felt she didn't have the right to, since she still..well..."
A small pause.
"I had finally told her i loved her.... That I wanted to be with her forever... Then I got the call I had been waiting for. A chance to travel all across the galaxy, make a name for myself... It was for us. I ...I don't know why she couldnt see that... I did it for US!" He yelled at no one it seemed, banging his fist on his leg angrily.
Nat couldn't figure out why he was saying all this to Teagan. It could just be that he was still high and emotionally charged.... or maybe it was that he was just lonely, and wanted someone, anyone, to just listen and hear him out.
He hadn't talked like this with anyone sines Raquel.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:58 am
"Maybe... life just stepped in and showed her someone that would really and honestly take care of her and love her without a doubt. Music's not a solid promise, Nat."
Teagan began absently plucking blades of grass from her shaggy lawn. She knew how it went, when life gave you someone who was better for you than the person you already had. It was just how it worked sometimes.
"I know you don't like the idea or want to embrace the idea that maybe this guy she's with now is better? For her. Maybe you just wanted someone to protect because you couldn't really protect yourself from life. Stop me if I'm totally wrong about this, Nat. But I do know quite a few things about being left behind for someone else and in a few different ways."
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:22 am
"N-no..." He shook his head. "No...With Raquel...She knew...she knew Music was a promise, one I'd keep no matter what....I just-...." He couldn't look at Teagan. Even as his eyes watered and started running down his face, he couldn't stop or look at her. "I just... I loved her... And now... she's in the arms of some other man, doing heaven knows what..."
"I ...You're right though... I did want to protect her. I wanted to try to save whatever little innocence she had left before she became hardened and screwed over like the rest of us... I like to think I wasn't too late... that I did help..." he shook his head, swallowing a bit. "I- ....I'm sorry, I shouldn't be just.... telling you all this. I dont know whats wrong with me!" He shouted at himself,grabbing at the sides of his head in frustration as more tears poured out.
He finally managed to look up at Teagan with his sad, hurt, and confused eyes. "I'm sorry...."
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:34 am
Teagan reached her hand out to touch the tear stains on his cheek, and softly wipe them away. It was a short gesture, without any sort of lingering touch.
"You're just hurt and screwed over like the rest of us. And you can't really apologize for that, now, can you?"
From her pocket, she took a few tissues and handed them to Nat. He could dry his eyes with some dignity as she tried her best to seem unworried about his outpouring. Teagan laid upon her back so she could watch the clouds go by, and try to organize the thoughts she had going on in her brain.
"My parents always travelled. They'd go away for a few months, come back. They'd be all hugs and kisses as if they'd never left, and give me souvenirs from the places they'd been. But as the years went on, their trips got longer, and I was left on my own more and more. Or with people from around here, who raised me right. Then I found out that they had houses in all different worlds, and I'd just been left in one. Said it was the best place for me, but it wasn't until now that I really began thinking that the best place should have been with them. But they didn't want some kid to watch as they did their own thing."
Teagan's voice took a bitter turn as her grass-plucking became a bit more aggressive.
"How convenient to leave me behind and not have to worry once the house became mine... that was two years ago. Found out everything was mine since I was of age, through video chat while the folks were on Sarente. I don't think they want to come back for a good year or so..."
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:46 am
Nat wiped his eyes and listened to her for a moment, nodding and just observing her from where he sat. He said nothing at first, just taking it all in with a seriousness he usually never held.
He reached out to take her hand in his, covering it up with his other in a comforting fashion. "I think anyone who would leave you behind... is just... a selfish,stupid human being and doesn't know what they're leaving behind." It was a spacey, but still sweet compliment as he seemed to stare sown at her hand a minute. "And0... What...what were we talking about?" He looked up at her, his eyes slightly glazed over still, head still a bit fuzzy.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:52 am
Teagan looked at him as if he had just given her the greatest insult he could muster. She knew that the drugs were still in his system and might make him act strange, but that was uncalled for in her opinion.
She snatched her hand out from his and sat upright with a flash of black hair in the sun.
"Nat, I cannot believe you." Her angry green eyes burned once more. Some people thought women were cute when they were angry, but Teagan was just outright frightening.
"You know, I bet this is why she didn't hold on to you. You do your drugs and get all sentimental and open up and listen, and then it all goes away with another wave of that comfort you have to turn to!"
Teagan shakily stood to her feet. He could vegetate in her yard for all she cared.
"I bet the man she found now doesn't do drugs or run from his problems."
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:29 pm
Nat's eyes grew fiery. He shot up, towering slightly over her. But he calmed himself down, backing away a moment to keep from getting too angry. After a moment of angry silence he spoke. "I bet you're right. That is probably why she left. But I know Raquel. She tends to gravitate to destructive men. I know this. I doubt the Man she's with now is as spot clean as she makes him out to be... In fact, I know he's not." He let that simmer a moment before addressing how she was addressing him.
"And another thing... You think you've got me all figured out. You Think you know me. You think you know my past, and you think I'm some self pitying, hard headed b*****d with no future. Well... I guess I am. So you can't say or do a damn thing to change me!" He turned on his heal, heading back to Richard's place. "Oh- " He stopped but didn't turn around. "I know your type as well. You act so grown up, since you've essentially been left alone? You think your just so mature and wise... You're nothing but a child. A scared one at that. You just have this front you put up to try and act as if you're ok being alone... I've seen it before." He spat this all very quietly as he walked off, though still made sure she heard it as he made his way down the little lane.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:35 pm
Well, Teagan was not going to take that. When he had stood up to face her, she'd been just as menacing right back. There was a lot of anger between them, and it was enough to make her go running right after him with a pain in her heart she hadn't had for what seemed to be a long time.
"You turn around and say that to me!" she screamed at him once she was at least three feet behind him. "You turn around and say that! You may have seen my type before, but you ain't never seen me before!"
Teagan's cheeks were red and her fists were clenched. It was a very fortunate thing for Nat that she hadn't had something to throw at him, because he would have stopped in his tracks with a new headache if she had.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:43 pm
Nat didn't stop at first but finally sighed, turning to look at her evenly. While she was fuming, he was calm. He saw her fire and knew she wanted to strike him. He'd let her if she wished. It wouldn't have been the first time. "You're right... I haven't seen you before." His whole body was stiff but calm,even his eyes just stared back into hers cooly.
"I've never met such a defensive, hot headed woman in my life... and let me tell you it's not becoming at all." He kept his ground. "You've got so much going for you too... Its such a shame you've got such a temper. Maybe thats why your previous relationships haven't worked out hm?" That last part was a bit harsh and he knew it. He almsot regretted letting it slip... almost.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:49 pm
Teagan visibly calmed when he turned around. It infuriated her when people walked away like that. It was all anyone ever did with her, just walked away...
But when he said those words, her eyes widened a bit with the wound he had reopened. She wasn't sure if that was supposed to physically hurt as well, but it did.
"My past relationships didn't work because they either got bored with me or cheated. The only one who I ever thought I really loved cheated, and no one told me until it slipped, because they thought I couldn't handle it."
She turned away from him to walk back to her house. Not because she had lost the battle, but because she felt the powerful need to cry like the child she still was deep, deep down. The child who wanted more than anything to just have one consistent person to care for and take care of her. Nat couldn't have known that, though, and she didn't feel like explaining.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:00 pm
Nat's eyes softened when she spoke, instantly feeling the sadness in her voice that she tried to hide. "Teagan-" He attempted to reach out to stop her but she was already walking away. He just furrowed his brow, ruffling his hair in frustration. Why was he feeling bad now? Why did he feel guilty for making her hurt. Usually when someone hurt him, he'd quickly jab back with the honest truth they hid from, then just walk away. Why was it now he wanted to go an apologize?
He furrowed his brow, not sure why eh was about to do what he did. He took a few brisks steps after her, grabbing her arm gently but firmly. "Teagan." He said again, Though let go of her arm, not sure what he was planning on doing. "I-..." He paused, his throat not letting the words come out. But after a moment, he forced them to. "I'm...Sorry." He looked down. "I really...truly am. That was a bit out of line on my part... I didn't ..." He trailed off not sure of what to say.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:06 pm
Teagan still didn't really face him. She didn't want to, with her cheeks turning red and her eyes misting up like they were.
"But... you were right," she said quietly. "I'm always mad at something. And it isn't alright."
But then Teagan got her pluck back. It was an odd sort of transformation that only took seconds, but she was looking at him like she had when they'd first met. She seemed happy, and like nothing was wrong. The tears clinging to her vision could have been from dust in her eye, while her blush was from the heat. She was good at turning things around like that.
"I've got flowers that need tending to, what with the wedding coming up. If you don't have anything going on, and you need a meal, you should... stop on by. If you want."
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:11 pm
Nat tried to give her a smile too, though it wasn't as convincing as hers. "If you need my help you know I'm available. I just need to finish up a job or two that Richard asked me to finish up. Just some polishing here and there...but I could freshen up then come by for dinner..if that's ok?" He asked, looking her in the eye, a more sincere, sweet smile played on his lips.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:20 pm
"Yeah, that's... fine." It was like they had both just noticed how ridiculous they'd just been, and were embarrassed by it. Teagan, at least, was. He'd set her in her place once more, which was something she really needed.
"I really don't have all that much that needs to be done around here," she said as she awkwardly inched back inside her gate. Now the blush was definitely from her own inner flutterings, and she hated herself for letting it show. "So guess you'll get to relax, huh?"
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:23 pm
At the site of her blush Nat's eyes softened a bit more as he gave ehr a charming smile, though a blush played on his lips as well. "I guess...though right now I'm a mess... Um... I'll...be back in about an hour or so? We'll...um jsut relax together. It'll be a nice change from all the work, and a good break before Richard returns ready for their wedding." He laughed nervously, take a few steps abck. "Um so...yea see you in a bit...?" He tunrned ot leave though stopped.
"Ah- Teagan?" He turned around slightly. "...Thank you." He nodded, not able to look her in the eye, his whole body getting red all over as he turned back around and kept walking, heading back to get ready.
*just fast forward maybe? I dont feel like RPing out his walk back and getting ready. xD*
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