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 Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:46 am
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 5:58 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:44 am
 Ch ch ch changes.
Myu felt...light headed and her skin began to crawl as if there were thousands of spiders run across her bare skin. It gave her chills and the sudden urge to start ripping at her flesh. Could she be ill? Maybe associating people caused her to catch something. Diseased. People hurt you, and they cause you to get sick. Thanks Nyx. It was her fault for making Myu...? ...Myu, she didn't feel like herself...She felt foreign in her own skin. Who was she? Myu, right?
Myu cautiously looked around her bare room. Someone was playing a trick on her. Someone was making her feel this way, but there was no one here. Dark, empty room. In a way, she wished someone was in the room. To blame or for comfort? Petty. It was a ignorant thought. Myu didn't need anyone. She could...deal with this herself. People don't care about anything but themselves. No one...would care about her. She would be forever alone...That...suited her well...Be...strong.
But...she wasn't strong. She was letting this get the best of her...This feeling... Myu slightly strained her face as the sensation rushed throughout her body once again. This time it felt like little needles quickly piercing the skin. At this, Myu found herself hovering into a dark corner of her room. She quickly curled her body into the fetal position. Myu was scared. She wasn't sure what was happening to her...It just frightened her, and there was no one there to help her...Nyx had been realizing for the past couple days that Myu had been starting to seclude herself even more. She had become even more quiet and short with words than she already was. Why? She could feel that Myu was scared, but why? What was happening to Myu? Nyx...she wanted to comfort her Myu, but Myu would just push her comfort away. Little Myu...so naive and yet so cold. Why does she act so indifferently to things that happen around her? Doesn't she care? Doesn't she feel? Why does Myu lock herself away? Nyx just wanted to get close enough to Myu to tell her that she was here...that she cared, but Myu was so far away. She was out of reach, but Nyx would continue to reach out the hand that was continually slapped away. She would show Myu that she cared...She would make Myu see that you need people in life.
"Myu..." Nyx said hesistantly as her aura surrounded the small cat Zahdl. She sensed the small girl jerk her head up as if remembering that Nyx was still here. Myu seemed to busy to realize it Nyx guessed. Myu was in too much thought...Nyx sensed her feelings. Myu...
Myu stared blankly as her eyes gazed around the room. Nyx...she was here. What did she want? Could she tell that Myu just wanted to be alone...Nyx never knew when not to stick her nose in other people's business. Nyx was nosy, and she didn't care about anything but herself. Selfish...
"Myu..." Nyx started again as her aura grew warm around her Zahdl as if for comfort. Nyx felt nervous. Would Myu reject her once again? Why does Myu reject? These questions didn't matter though. They were just selfish thoughts, and the only thing that matter was Myu's well-being. Was Myu alright? Why was she acting this way? Nyx just hoped that everything was okay...
Myu made a grunting noise for acknowledgement. She just wanted to be left alone. No one could do anything for her...They were not important. Nyx...Nyx...What are your intentions? What is it that you are after? Why...do you care now...and not on that day...? Why...did Myu feel that...she needed Nyx at this moment?...Why did she seek her comfort just a little bit? Myu didn't need her...or anyone. Independent. Nyx...
"What's wrong?" Nyx asked cautiously taking advantage of the situation. She was surprised she didn't get that much of a fight for Myu. Normally, Myu would just dismiss Nyx as if she didn't care...but she didn't. Myu was somewhat allowing Nyx in. Something was definately up with Myu...
"It doesn't matter..." Myu stated shortly trying to dismiss this whole thing now. She didn't feel good, and Nyx wasn't minding her own business...She just wanted to make everything all right.
"It does too matter!" Nyx exclaimed. She knew that Myu was trying to dismiss this thing, so she wouldn't have to open up or talk about her feelings. Nyx wasn't as stupid as Myu made her out to be. She had a backbone, and she understood Myu more than Myu thought she did.
"...Whatever..." came Myu's muffled replied. Myu had stuffed her head into her knees. She just wanted to be left alone! Couldn't Nyx see that! She wanted to be left alone then maybe take a nap. Maybe that would make her feel better...
If Nyx was alive, she would have been frowning right now. She may not know what was wrong with Myu, but she knew she would help her through it one way or another. Nyx's aura completely shrouded the small cat girl and provided comfort through any changes or things that weighed this young girl down. Nyx was going to help Myu...She had to because...Nyx cared for her...
"I'll always be here for you, Myu..."
Myu sunk lower in the corner, wishing whatever was happening to her would just end...
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 8:58 am
Reflection... When was it...when I first noticed the change in Myu...The thought of it just seems pick at my brain like an ice pick to ice. Change? When did she change, and how come I never realized the signs of this change until it was to late?
Gone...Myu was gone...at least...the one that I had come to known. The Myu that I had grown to love was replaced with an empty, cold shell of a Myu. A Myu...that was nothing like the other. A Myu that just wanted to be left alone...because she would be alone in the end...
But why...? Why did this happen? Why did my Myu change? Was it...was it something I said or done? But...what could have possibly been done to leave a girl so...cold? Only wanting to be...alone. But why? Why does she constantly want to be left alone? It would just be lonely... Though she says everyone will just leave in the end...
...The end...what is this end that she speaks of? If there was an end that left you all alone, I don't want to finish. I would much rather my life like a book only to stop at the climax, so I won't have to see this end that Myu speaks of. So...I won't be...alone...
Myu...
Thoughts of what Myu has become and why still tear apart at my brain. Were there signs? No...This change just seemed to come suddenly that or I was just too dense to realize... No...I think I made myself believe that everything was all right and that Myu was fine. Was she really though? Myu used to...be so kind...She wasn't as critical was she was now, and she always seemed to look on the brighter side of things. Though...she still made fun of me and still had seldom moments of cold Myu, but these moments were usually when I did something stupid though...one being the day I named her. She thought I was ridiculous with the name I gave her. "Heh...naming me after a sound I made," was the reply I got, but it was quickly followed by a smile. I miss that Myu...The Myu that would joke around with me...Why did she go?
I look at this Myu now and wonder if she is actually the one I once knew or is she actually an alien or something that took over my Myu's body. Ridiculous, I know, but hey, you never know with this world. It's just so much different than mine that I wouldn't be surprised if Myu was possessed. But in all seriousness, is she really my Myu? If so, does she remember those days when she used to be happy? The days...she sought for me...Those days...
I look back and remember with so much nostalgia of the days when Myu still acted like a child. I remember wanting to be a child again myself, but these memories simply drifted away like dust in the wind when Myu started to act all high and mighty. She matured so quickly...Why? I try to shuffle through memories but find no possible explanation. My mind is like a big black hole...maybe that memory drowned in the darkness or maybe...it's being cemented down so not to rise up. Either way, it pains me not knowing why Myu isn't the way she is, but it also pains me because I'm not able to help her...
Myu has always been an independent girl, but she did look to me. Now, it's like I don't exist. I don't matter in Myu's world. I'm just there to cause her displeasure. Unimportant...Sometimes, I feel like a flower that sways itself toward the sun just to feel its warm. Its love...I...I yearn for that child to reach out to me, so I can feel her warmth. My roots are on tip tops so I'm extended out farther. I'm the one that reaches out only to have the sun hide and cause cold, dark rain. Lonely rain...
Cold, lonely Myu, whose indifference to most things is upsetting...Become happy...then become strong...
Lonliness...Forgotten...Abandonment...I really don't understand Myu sometimes...People leaving...Who left? We haven't really come across anyone until we met Snow and the others, but they haven't gone anywhere. No one has left, and I surely haven't gone anywhere...
Silence.
I have always been there for Myu, and it's not like I can leave. Plus, I would never leave Myu.
Black hole of memories.
No one has left Myu, so why does she push others way? Is it a way of protecting herself?
Memories that don't come to light...
Heh...I would understand if she used her actions in order of protecting herself...but why from me? I'm so open about myself with...Protection...
I'm a lesser being...
Inferior...
It's funny...Myu and I are so different but very much a like...because I, as well, act a certain way...to protect myself...
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Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 12:21 pm
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:42 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 9:04 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 7:36 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:42 am
Back-dated March 12
This is my first entry addressing you, one in many that have yet to come. You will be used to sort out my thoughts of event that I go through as well as a log, so I can look back on my experiences...Firstly, I believe I should introduce myself. I am Myu, a chosen warrior known as Zahdl. The Zahdls are warriors that meant to save the world of Avryn from the darkness and evil that threatens it. I promise to dedicate myself...no matter the cost...
Since being in this world, I have met a small number of people, a majority of them Zahdl warriors like myself...Though the most important person that influences my life would be my guardian spirit, Nyx. She is..., there only seems to be one word to describe her, ignorant...She doesn't...seem to understand anything that happens around her...She cares too much and too reliant on others. She will simply just get hurt in the end though. People...leave...I've learned this lesson from Nyx herself. She left me...that day...when I seemed to need her the most...She left me cold and scared, but when she came back, she didn't recollect the event at all...She continued to live on as if nothing happened...Fool...It didn't matter though...I began to close myself off to her and the others we came across...I refuse to get hurt...to feel...I will stay strong by only doing things for myself...
I will be independent...
When I first came to this world, I looked up to Nyx as someone who would guide me, but now, I have surpassed her. She cares too much and that leads to weakness...Regardless, since that day it feels as if my soul...my living nature had died. I was naive before that day...Nothing more has changed...That doesn't matter though...Nothing does...I will complete my mission...to save the world...
But these people that I've come across...why do they seem to affect me? I don't...care about them...but why do these people bring out these emotions...Feeling...I haven't felt anything in quite sometime...With Nyx, she only seems to bring out a feeling of disgust. Was it because she left me? I don't...know...Why do I feel anything for her at all? Why do I care?
She claims that I'm not open to her...but what about her? She...refuses to disclose information about herself...Why? Is she ashamed? Ashamed of herself? Nyx...hypocrite...
Surprisingly with this quest to save the world, I feel oddly concerned to complete it with others...I don't understand why...I don't need others, but there is a small part of me that tells me to go on. Mr. Snow...I possess a small amount of trust in him. He is my elder...and I have so much respect for him...He...helped me a great deal...and seemed to know so much...For some reason, I am glad to call him an ally...someone that I will willing fight alongside with. A...comrade? These petty feelings...
Since my growth, I have met a great deal of people. I'm staying at the barracks, but there's a part of me that hates it there. I miss...sleeping in the fresh air...The freedom I felt while outdoors. Within that confined room, I feel as if the air is being suck out of me, and the walls are slowly closing in...Why do I stay then? This question still remains unanswered...even to me...
I have once again started on a quest, but this one is to find an herb for Arinya...I was forced to take a partner and found that it was the small Zahdl that I met briefly, known as Cloud. He...is very quiet...Actually, he doesn't speak at all...which is something that suits me fine...It's the exact opposite of Nyx...maybe she should take some pointers from this child...
This Cloud is very observant, and his guardian seems quite wise...Though, the little incident when he touched me really seemed to catch me off guard...and somewhat frightened me...My reaction was the opposite though...I slapped the child away...and he began to cry...I had no concept as to why those tears were falling from his eyes...but it made me feel as well...But feeling! No...I can't feel...This child...needs to learn...just as I did...that the world isn't as nice and friendly as it appears...
--Myu.
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:44 am
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:18 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:28 pm
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 1:45 pm
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 2:45 pm
A knock echoed throughout the empty room that Myu called "shelter" all the while Nyx's excitement was still tipping on her meter of joy. This was all so exciting for the young guardian to handle. Nyx had gotten Myu to obey her, for once, and she even got a cute new outfit in the process! Her old one was too small since the little girl that went to bed that night grew into a stunning teen. She was simply stunning, and Nyx couldn't help but feel proud...
Her little doll...was growing up...
"What now...?" The newly teenaged Myu said with her newly feminine sounding monotone voice. It still possessed that slight girlhood innocence of a child, but it was now much deeper than before. It was one of a young lady.
"Who knows?" Nyx replied back with a hint of boredom now looming in her voice. Whatever it was, it better not rain on her parade. She was having too much fun with this as it was. But then something suddenly struck her like a bolt of lightening, and she couldn't help but find amusement in this thought.
"Maybe you all ready have a suitor or something, m'dear. You are quite the girl now. All grown and pretty." As the words escaped from Nyx, she couldn't help but laugh. Yeah, if it were true, Myu would probably call the guy an idiot or something. Myu didn't seem like the type of girl that would fall for the mushy romance things that Nyx couldn't help but melt over. Myu...was like a man...That...and she just doesn't understand that she needs people to succeed in life and reach her full potential. Hopefully, she'll figure that out soon.
Find a friend and accept people...Hopefully she hasn't hurt someone yet...besides Nyx...
"Funny..." Myu droned back with a hint of disgusting lingering with every syllable. Who ever this person was...what did they want?
Meandering towards the door, Myu hesitated slightly while turning the doorknob. Pushing the doubt aside and putting herself on guard, the door slowly found its way open with an unfamiliar boy in front of her.
"...Yes...?"
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