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"Maybe," Ellandra said, and hurriedly changed once Faolan had left to get Ziazan. The man had no decency. . . and she loved him for it. She had too much decency at times, after all. Once she had dressed - she was feeling a bit rushed today, so she stole some of her husband's clothes and wore those; they were prettier than her own wardrobe after all - she scooped her spark out of its box and carried it with her to the front room; maybe knowing she was there would help it emerge faster?

'Come, little one, you can't stay asleep forever,' she mused silently to herself, despite knowing that dormancy was a bit different than sleeping.

Ellandra nodded, still cradling her spark in one hand, and sorted around until she came up with her old hat - slightly dusty and covered in cat hair; apparently Rags had been trying to use it as a bed. "Here it is," she said with a bit of a yawn, and an apologetic smile to Ziazan. "Sorry for waking you, Ziazan," she said as she brought the hat over.

Ellandra hugged her spark to her chest, unconsciously mimicking Zia's motion as her heart began to race. She was so afraid, all of a sudden - not panic attack worthy, but somehow, somehow she knew that what she would find out wouldn't be pleasant. Oddly, she felt the same sort of fluttery "feeling" from the spark as she had when she'd first gotten it, along with a questioning feeling, almost-but-not-quite formed into the words 'Need....me....?' But she was so caught up in the reading that she barely noticed the feelings from the spark.

Ellandra's eyes widened. " I - I d-don't kn- know," she stammered weakly, even as she started to tremble, and an image flashed before her eyes of red, red everywhere and suddenly she was a small child playing in the yard making a flower crown; when there was a noise like thunder, only it wasn't, and mama had fallen, fallen and there was red all around and she wouldn't get up to finish the crown and she wouldn't get up she wouldn't get up she wouldn't get up -

Suddenly, she was back in the vardo, on the floor and clutching her spark desperately in wildly-shaking hands as tears poured down her eyes and she knew, at last she knew what had caused all of her problems, why she had lost her memories, why she was so afraid of thunder, why her Papa - how could she call him that now?!? had never spoken about her Mama- she knew everything, everything she hadn't known she'd not wanted to know.

And it hurt. It hurt more than anything in her entire life, and she felt like she was being torn to shreds right there in her home and nothing, nothing was going to stop it -

"Breathe, please... Calm down. Stress is unhealthy."

The voice was calm, soothing, and utterly alien to Ellandra's ears. It shook her out of her panic enough for her to look and see that she was no longer holding her spark - had she dropped it some time in the last few minutes? And there was a . . . butterfly? - with a three-foot wingspan fluttering in front of her face, regarding her with a look of utter placidness.

"Calm, calm please. I will help you," it said, placing a hand, a slightly transparent but very solid hand, on her shoulder.

Ellandra gulped down sob after sob, trying desperately to rein her emotions back in line, but she was having a difficult time - even her wonder at the sight of her Essentic was drowned out in the horror of her memories. The Essentic didn't seem bothered, instead settling down and wrapping a seahorse-like tail section around her forearm, perching there and fluttering its wings slowly, creatign a light breeze.

"Calm, calm. No harm is here. I will help," it repeated, staring gently into its Owner's eyes, practically oozing serenity as the tips of its antenna brushed Ellandra's forehead. "Nothing to fear, nothing negative. I mentor, I help. You are not harmed; all is well."

Despite herself and her shock and horror, Ellandra did find herself soothed by the presence and soft voice of the butterfly Essentic. She cuddled into Faolan, still shuddering, but finally starting to come out of her state of absolute panic. "Th-th-thank you.... little one...." she stammered out in a choked manner, laying her head on Faolan's shoulder and watching the perched Proto - it barely weighed a thing despite its size! - through reddened, puffy eyes.

"I mentor, I help. My purpose," the proto said simply, in that same serene voice.

Ellandra knelt on the floor, staring into her proto's eyes and just breathing while Faolan carried Ziazan away to calm it. She'd never meant to hurt it, to frighten it - tears welled up in her eyes again, only to be brushed away by the little proto's hands.

"Do not cry. There is no fault here," it said again, and with such simplicity Ellandra found herself relaxing. She would have to deal with the memories now fully awakened, but. . . for now, she simply needed to calm down. It was over, it was in the past, her present was here, with Faolan and Ziazan, and the baby, and now this little one.... who, she realized vaguely, lacked a name.

"H-hello...." she murmured, trying to shove all dark thoughts to the back of her mind. The Essentic bobbed its head, antennae brushing against Ellandra's forehead again.

"Hello. I help. I mentor. I am yours, I help you and yours." It fluttered its wings a little, uncurling its tail-appendage and flying up to near the ceiling, still staring at its owner all the while. Ellandra watched it, feeling something in her wounded soul ease at the Proto's presence, and she nodded.

"Yes... y-you help.... you - you already have," she ssaid, rising to shaky feet and reaching up to touch its hand. "I - I hadn't thought of a -a name.... for you...... but.... I know now... a-anyway....... you're Rhian."

"Rhian..... Reeee-aaan. A calm name. Positive. I am Rhian. I mentor," the voice was as serene as ever, but there almost almost seemed to be a note of pleasure in its voice. Wasn't it too soon for that? Ellandra was so muddled that she didn't know. Instead, she went to the bedroom, tugging her Proto along with her, to see if either of them could help Ziazan.

Ellandra opened her mouth to speak, but the newly-named Rhian beat her to it. "I am well. I am Rhian." It tilted its head, looking at Ziazan for the first time. "Essentic. Sibling. Family. Positive." It fluttered down and perched on Ellandra's arm again, securing itself with its tail-section. Ellandra stroked it along one wing - a wing that felt like satin, like the spark it had come from. She sat down on the floor beside the bed, the Proto adjusting its balance as she did so, and sighed.

"I should ..... I should never have tried to find out what happened," she said softly, sounding rather broken.