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 Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 11:22 am
Twilightgaze was very quiet. "No one told me why my mother hated me. I can't even remember her." She paused. "I'm sorry if I offended you and Pinepaw by what I said about Silverpelt. Sunsetkit often said what he was told Mother said often: When Silverpelt glows brightly, StarClan is happy, and when Silverpelt is dimmed, StarClan is unhappy. It was always the worst of times for me when Silverpelt was at its brightest," she added sadly.
Pinepaw. It was clear to her that Blackshiver had loved her, but...was she gone? That would explain his bitterness. Perfection in one apprentice? She both wanted and didn't want to believe in such a thing. Perfection could not exist without a curse from StarClan, if it existed, though Sunsetkit had seemed perfection to her.... Finally, she said softly, "She died, didn't she? Forgive my impertinence, but...how did she die? Was it in that battle with ShadowClan, when my mentor was also killed?" If it was, StarClan definitely had a very perverse sense of humor, calling away the loved ones of those who would be lost and alone without them.
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 7:45 am
"I see...if that is true, then perhaps StarClan is crueler than I thought." He shook his head and gazed up at Silverpelt. It's bright tonight...is that a good sign or a bad sign?
"The battle over the border? The one when my mentor crossed the border to chase after a mouse and picked a fight with a ShadowClan patrol? The one that began so suddenly and has never been mentioned since? Yes. Yes, it was. It began in a flash and ended just as suddenly...I don't even know if anyone remembers it. But Pinepaw..." Blackshiver swallowed hard. "We lost our Pinepaw...ShadowClan and me. We both lost a brilliant and beautiful she-cat, who could have been our brightest future...she was just...perfect..." He smiled softly. "I can imagine StarClan, even now, chanting 'Pinestar, Pinestar...' Maybe she could've risen to deputy someday. Maybe. Maybe I'm just overestimating ShadowClan's loss. Maybe I'm guessing that because I loved her with all my heart, ShadowClan did too. I'd hate to think, though, that Pinepaw was...just another apprentice to her clan.
"I think I remember a warrior dying in RiverClan...maybe it was your mentor." He turned to her, tilting his head in curiosity. "Did you love him? You don't have to answer if you don't want to," he added hastily. He paused for a long time, then finally said, "Pinepaw was one of the first to die. I was so shocked, I just went numb...I went cold all over as I fought...our leaders decided that I showed so much valor that I was named Blackshiver the very next day after your mentor was taken away for burial." Blackshiver bowed his head as the memory came pouring back.
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 10:39 am
Twilightgaze nodded. "Sunstripe died just after a ShadowClan apprentice. I didn't quite see, but Pinepaw must have died right before Sunstripe." She smiled sadly. "I guess we'll never know about Pinepaw's future, and what StarClan had planned for her. His next question startled her. "I...I...I loved him, but sort of like a brother, a father, and a tom all rolled into one," she said softly. "I wasn't with him when he died, but he taught me to fight bravely, even if we were apart." She glanced up at the eyes of Silverpelt, glowing in merciless mirth. "I was made a warrior the day after he was buried." She had buried the pain of losing Sunstripe under her self-hate, just as she'd buried all her losses. One more death of a loved one on her head...it became a statistic, after a while....
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 7:31 am
"Ironic, then, that we both lost loved ones, dear ones, and both were made warriors for our pains. But you stayed." He gazed at her, his brown eyes intense with a curiosity and the knowledge that he did not understand. "If it hurt so much, why stay? I left the Clan to be a kittypet for a while. It wasn't so bad--I had to leave before they took me to the cutter to get "fixed," but they don't fix she-cats that much. And they would've loved you for your unusual appearance. It's not so bad, being a kittypet. It's nice being a warrior, but if you feel so badly about StarClan, why return? Why not flip your tail at them and turn away?"
As he said it, he realized that he was being hypocritical. Why did he leave the Twolegs if it was so nice? Why had he returned to the forest, to the river, to the Clan, to the stars? "...Of course...there's a sense of independence in the forest...the river in newleaf...in greenleaf...the cool water shining back like that foreverice that Twolegs use...I mean...I had to live for Pinepaw's ideal. She believed strongly in StarClan, even if she still wanted to be with me...But you don't have that ideal to live for. So why are you still here?"
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 5:59 pm
"Even if I do not believe in StarClan, I believe in the Warrior Code above all else. If not for the Warrior Code, I would be dead, and I am not that ungrateful a warrior." The Warrior Code meant everything to her--had ever since she was a kit and it began to grow increasingly evident that it was only the Warrior Code keeping her alive, healthy, and giving her a life to live. Without it, she'd be nothing. As for going to the Twolegs...she bit back a retort about going back to them. It was unfair to make such a retort, and he had come back, in any event. No point in bothering him about that, when the pain of losing Pinepaw must have been such a devastating blow to him. Not that she really entirely understood it, since she'd never have and never would have a relationship like that with any other warrior.
((Geez, uber-depressed kitty. Good thing she's got Blackshiver, eh?))
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Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 9:03 am
Blackshiver's ears flicked back as he forced back all his collected rage against the warrior code, every injustice and illogicality of it. How can a Clan be strong if it cannot have new blood, even the blood of its enemies? What if a leader is wrong, or their words and actions go against the Warrior Code? How can their word, then, be the word of the Warrior Code? And if StarClan is just a bunch of dead cats, how can StarClan be responsible for the lives of prey? If they cannot control disease or Twolegs, how can they control mice and fish? It just doesn't make any sense, and it seems that I am the only cat who realizes it, understands its discrepancies?!
Slowly, forming the thought as he said it, Blackshiver murmured, "I can't argue with you...not because I do not have my reasons...not because I do not have my doubts...but because to take away from you the Warrior Code...to plant in your mind the seeds of my beliefs, would be wrong in every way, as damaging to you and your mind as a mouth around your throat or a claw in your eye. We may not see eye to eye, Twilightgaze...but I think we have the same spirit of defiance, of resentment...I don't have many friends..." He turned to Twilightgaze, shivering a little in her purple eyes. "...But do you think we could be friends?"
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Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 2:19 pm
Twilightgaze was flabbergasted by the offer of friendship. Another warrior wanted to be her friend? Really--??? She just had to smile as tears slowly trickled down her face with joy. Someone accepted her! Someone really accepted her for who she was! "Thank you, Blackshiver," she whispered happily. "It'll be good to have a friend again after so long."
((Flabbergasted. That's a good word. *Shot* Anywho...something about this RP seems to be winding down. How do you feel about it?))
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Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 6:40 am
Blackshiver smiled and got up. He was glad that this she-cat had accepted his offer...it had been so long since he had a friend he could open up to with the offer of an opening up in exchange. He lazily stretched his limbs and wove through the few reeds between them, touching his tail to her shoulder. He tried not to show the startlement in him at her tears. She was crying...Of course. She believes that everyone thinks her to be a freak...but she's not...I'll just have to prove that to her.
"Yeah, it will be nice...Let's go hunting tomorrow. I'll ask my sister to come with us, she's nonjudgmental. Now let's go back to camp and get some sleep." With that, Blackshiver turned and, the moonlight shining on their silver, trotted back to camp.
((Methinks yes. I just hope this is enough of an RP to satisfy the colorists...))
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