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 Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 2:04 am
Faolan Here's the lowdown on the strange happenings of my life. I know, I know . . . life is already strange being half-demon and living in a carnival, but now things are downright aberrant. I've always been use to being a giant magnet for the abnormal, so I should have expected this. Maybe.
Let me start from the beginning of how this all got going on. I was out for a walk the other day--I may or may not have been looking for an easy mark--and I saw this guy that sort of screamed "take my money!" with the way he was dressed. I sidled up and sat down, started talking with him, and promptly got introduced to the man's daughter and another man, who turned out to be a plant. The plant-man (who name turned out to be Elst) showed us back to his nursery and the four of us hung around there awhile talking.
Sera, Willis' daughter, seemed rather intrigued at the sleight-of-hand tricks I performed for her. I have to admit, using them to entertain a child has been much more rewarding than using the tricks to pick pockets. She even helped me pick out some daisies for my tent.
A few days later--and this is where things go slightly awry--I was out for a walk since we've had some free time at the carnival and stopped by some curio shops. On the way home, it started a rather good downpour, so I ducked into this odd little shop. The staff acted like they'd been expecting me and ushered me in for tea . . . only it wasn't tea, it was this weird rock. I mean, there was a rock in the teapot. Compulsion and an odd feeling made me reach out and touch the stone, to which the staff promptly freaked out.
When I asked what was wrong, a voice spoke to me. It told me to give it a purpose, and so I did. I asked it to help me with my fortune telling, to help people that truly need it . . . and scam the s**t out of those that deserve it. A odd tingle went through me, like a shiver almost, and the rabbit boy of the duo said the rock had bonded with me.
Next thing I know, the woman shoves a pamphlet at me, hands me the rock, and, without so much as a by-your-leave, ushers me out. They tell me to pretend I'd never been there, to not tell anyone about the rock, but to call them if things get weird.
Really? Call them when it gets weird? Someone please point out when exactly it got weird, because I'm pretty sure I passed that point a good while back.
Now I have this odd rock that looks like a hand with a burbling grape jelly fountain in the middle sitting on my table. I don't know what to do with it, but I can almost feel it wanting to help me. Tomorrow night I start taking customers again, so I'll set it on the ol' workstation and see how much help it really is.
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:01 pm
"Gaze deep into the crystal, sirrah," Faolan purred, keeping his voice low and soothing to help with mesmerizing his customer and also keeping the man at the table relaxed. While he stood at the back of his client's chair, he adjusted his robe and headdress, feeling utterly ridiculous as he always did in the get-up. Satisfied he was presentable again as Master of the Sooth, Faolan walked back around so that he was facing the man across the table. "Concentrate on the other realm and keep the questions you want answered in mind."
"Will this really work?" the man asked, looking up at him. He was an elderly gentleman and Faolan might have felt some pity on him if it weren't for the fact the answers he wanted were related to how much of the company's shares his recently departed business partner had left him. Utterly disgusting in his greed, Faolan secretly thought.
Reaching out, he put a hand on the man's head and forcibly (though as gently as he could) pushed it back down so the man was focused on the strange rock on the table, the very rock he'd been given at the strange shop. He'd put it there in the hopes that it would do as it has said it would. So far, no such luck. "It'll work only if you keep your gaze on the crystal and your mouth shut. Now, I shall chant the ancient incantation of my father's people and contact the other realm to ask a spirit for guidance in seeking your answers."
At that, Faolan began moving about, doing some sort of flailing interpretive dance number while chanting nonsense words . . . and desperately trying not to laugh while doing it. He'd closed his eyes during the routine or he might have noticed the strange glow emitting from the stone on the table. Brighter and brighter it glowed until it finally exploded in a soft poof.
Poof? Faolan thought, opening his eyes to see a small winged creature flitting just over the table. "Oh, hell."
The man, too, opened his eyes as Faolan spoke and suddenly stood up with a yelp at seeing the creature. "Wh-what is that thing? Is that the spirit?"
Faolan looked past the creature at the man, then quickly grabbed the critter and tossed it in the back room, shutting the door. "Ah, that was, er, one of the parrots from the, um, lion taming act. Bloody thing must have escaped. Terribly sorry for the startle."
"The lion tamer doesn't use parrots," the gentleman said.
"Right. Well . . . oh! Look at that," the young man said, glancing at his very watchless wrist. "Time for me to close up for the night. So sorry the spirit realm wasn't agreeable this time. Come back tomorrow." He shooed the man out, shutting the outside door of his booth quickly before the man got a word in edgewise. Waiting a moment to be sure he was alone, he dashed back to the door of the back room and opened it, looking at a now rather disgruntled creature flitting at face-level. "You came from that rock, didn't you?"
"Yes. You are my master. What is it you wish me to do?" the creature asked.
Foalan sat down at the table, the creature following him. "I think I need a drink and an explanation in whichever order you'd like."Faolan What did I get myself into? That rock I got from that creepy shop turned into a weird little creature. I'd read the pamphlet . . . well, okay, glanced at the pamphlet they gave me, but I thought they were just being odd. Now I have this little--what did it call itself?--Essentic to look after.
It is kind of cute and appeals to some part of me. Since it wants to serve me and I could use the help, I currently set it to doing my dishes at the moment, which is amusing to watch really with how it's all put together. If this little creature is supposed to help me with my fortune telling racket . . . or to help legitimize it, then I suppose I should teach it the different methods I use.
Maybe later, when it's quiet around the carnival, I'll show it around its new home. For now, I'll stick to showing it around the booth until I can get it back to my tent. I've also decided to call it Ziazan since it reminds me of a little bird.. and I'm not sure if it's male or female. It doesn't really seem to care about having a gender and, hey, who am I to press upon it constraints?
Now, where did I leave those tarot cards I wanted to show Zia?
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Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:42 pm
"Scarf! Scarf! Scarf!" the little proto called out, waving about its little wings trying to get the brightly colored fabric. Fao sighed and took one down, letting Zia have it. The proto squealed and rolled around with the scarf, wrapping up in it. "Colors! Dye from the east. Silk and copper bells. I like this one."
"You can have it, then," Fao said, leaning down to adjust the scarf around the proto. He leaned over and picked up a box and set it before the Essentic. "Here, little one. Let's learn about crystals."
"Crystals!" Ziazan waddled over and looked at the box. Fao handed the creature the different colored crystals, smiling as it prattled off the names and make-up.
The boy chuckled, patting Zia on the head. "Yes, little one, but now let's learn how to use them in fortune telling." He laid one out after the other, telling the proto what they meant. "See now? Some people trust crystals more than the cards."
"I like the cards." Ziazan pouted a bit, nudging the rocks about. "These look more fun than the pendulum, though."
"Yeah, these are more fun. You can do this with them," Faolan chuckled, picking up some of the crystals and juggling them. Ziazan's eyes opened wide at the sight. "When you have bigger hands, I'll teach you how."
The lesson went on another hour or so, the crystals covered along with the spirit board and runes. By then it was bath time for the proto and, ignoring its fussing, Faolan managed to get it in a wash basin, cleaned it, dried it, and set it on its designated pillow on the bed. Once he was sure it was resting, he sat down with his journal.Faolan Ziazan is taking well to the fortune telling techniques and even more so to the scarves I use in my costumes. I've managed to make a little dress . . . kilt . . . thing for it to wear. Zia still lacks a gender, but it seems happy with it. So far, Zia seems to enjoy the tarot cards the most, but has also found quite an enjoyment with the crystals a well.
Yesterday I let it hid within the hood of my robe and went for a walk around the carnival, explaining things to it when it asked or just pointing out interesting sights. It seemed intrigued by all the animals we have and also a bit with the sideshow. Zia wanted to know if they were Essentics, too, but seemed saddened by the fact they were making a living on their deformities and unusual talents. I'm not sure how to explain to Zia that the sideshow performers are here by choice.
I've noticed that Zia's eyes are open more often now, but I haven't been able to figure out their color yet. They never seem to stay one color for long . . . or are multiple colors at once. Also, small hands have appeared hidden at the feathers on its wings. I wonder if it will develop arms or stay with hands on its wings. I'm hoping for Zia to develop arms. It'd be easier on the creature to help with the dishes . . . I mean, it would be easier to learn the different methods of fortune telling.
The owner of that strange shop was here and had a lot of good information to share with me. He said Zia is unique, which is nice to know. My little Essentic will always be special, unique or not. I can't help feeling like a proud parent sometimes, even if that seems odd. I don't know anything about being a parent other than what my adopted father taught me. Perhaps that's enough.
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Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 9:36 pm
Faolan sat curled up on the bed, watching Zia sleeping by his feet, his hand stroking the little creature's back. It had been through so much lately. For that matter, so had he. Unable to sleep, he brought his journal close to him, needing to get things off his chest.Faolan La, where to begin? I feel like a whole lifetime has happened in a very short span of time. The carnival's even moved to a new location. Soon as it's done setting up, I'll go get her. Her. My love.
I'm not even sure how that happened. I'm certainly the last that would be settling down, and here I am wanting to spend my life with one woman forever. I belong to her in a way I can't even understand or explain. The moment my eyes met hers, I felt as our souls were joined. My Ellandra. I miss her even now.
More importantly than that, amazingly enough, is the strange Essentic that decided to steal from me. Although, I get it now that his taking Grandmother's deck of tarot cards was simply a lure to get me and Zia somewhere alone and . . . I don't know, test us maybe? All I know is that he hurt Zia somehow. He made it better, too, but Zia hasn't been the same since. I'm used to my little friend's loud bossiness, but lately, Zia's been quiet and listless, even clingy and underfoot. I don't know what to do with it. Perhaps a trip to Banning and company would help.
Zia snuggled closer, chiding itself silently for being so stupid as to touch the strange Essentic, but even more so for being too weak to ever think of protecting Faolan properly. The young man needed it and it was near powerless to help. It looked up at Faolan, touching the man's face with a wingtip, reassured by that ever-present playful smile. Zia vowed then, to find a way to be better at protecting Faolan.
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 2:03 am
Takes place between "Longed to discover..." and "Anymore people..."Stealing a moment to himself while Ellandra was helping Keagan with the books, Faolan sprawled out on the bed, comfortable on his stomach, with his journal. He didn't mind at all that Zia was curled up and snoozing on the small of his back. The cat probably would've been there, too, but Faolan was still annoyed at poor Rags and had told Elle to take the cat with her.Faolan I find these entries tend to come more and more after some large event in my life. I wish I really had more time to record the little moments, too.
[ Taps pen on the page a moment. ]
I'm a husband now and soon to be a father as well. Ellandra came to live with me and we finally . . . well, we shared a few good moments, that's for sure. The first, however, resulted in my siring a child on her. Ziazan's never been wrong about biorhythms before and its abilities have been getting stronger, so I trust in its word that it knows what it's saying. Even without a child (hope it's a boy!) on the way, I'd still have married Ellandra. How could I not? She's what's been missing in my life.
I still have yet to tell Da about the wee bairn on the way, but he'll sort it out soon as Elle starts to show. He'll probably just assume that it was from our weddin' night and not before it. Not that it wasn't that much more before it, but less said the better.
So, married life. How about that, eh? It's a little strange knowing I have someone that will always be there for me now. I mean, Da's been there, but it's not the same. I feel more calm, more settled. Not to say the wildness in me has disappeared, but I feel more centered now. As if that part of me that left me constantly searching to feel the void is finally in place. I'm complete. Whole. It feels good.
Now, Zia, on the other hand, has been a busy little blighter. It constantly follows me around when we're in private and insists going with me everywhere, even if I'm just going to sit on the stoop for a bit. I had gotten used to it hovering, but now it's just clingy. I don't know if this is left over from its scare with that strange Essentic or if this is something new brought on by the run-ins with Rags and that dog Eli has. I asked Zia what was up, but all it gives me is some cryptic answer of trying to protect me. La, if I didn't love the little monster so much, I'd strangle it some times.
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 4:54 am
Late morning had finally rolled around, the sunlight filtering through the bedroom curtains of the vardo. Faolan stretched and rolled onto his back. A soft form flopped over him and he smiled in his half-waking sleep, wrapping his arms around his bedmate. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw a pair of rainbow eyes peering back at him, mere inches from his face.
"Sweet tap-dancing Francine! Zia get some ******** clothes on!" He shoved the Alter off him, off the bed entirely, and glared at the naked genderless kid. Reaching over, Faolan picked up some random clothes and tossed it on the young Essentic. "Now!"
Ziazan moved around, gathering the clothes up, and started dressing itself the way Faolan had taught it. "But you aren't wearing clothes, either."
Faolan just sighed, locating a pair of pants for himself and tugging them on under the covers. I was asleep. You were just being creepy."
"It's not creepy. You didn't use to mind when I was a proto," Ziazan pointed out. Well, damn. The kid had a point there.
"It was less awkward then. You didn't look like a twelve year old child . . . and you were cuter."
"Assa! I am still plenty cute, thank you much."
Faolan smirked at that, reaching down to pull Ziazan back up and onto the bed, hugging it to him. "Alright. You win." He ruffled the kid's feathered hair. "Where's Ellandra?"
Ziazan shrugged. "I'd assume she's with Grandpa by now, helping with the books."
Faolan nodded and nudged the Essentic off him. "Go see if we have some leftovers around for breakfast." Which was more or less code for "get out. I want some time alone to wake up."
The Alter nodded and slid off the bed, then headed out of the bedroom. As soon as he was gone, Faolan dug the journal out from between the matresses, moving to set it on his crossed legs to record some thoughts down.Faolan A visit from a strange lady and her dragon Essentic brought about a change in Ziazan. That is to say, it grew up. Zia very much resembles a twelve-year-old child now of indeterminate gender. Mostly, it dresses in my clothing so comes off appearing as a boy, but there's a lot of feminine qualities to it, too. It's taking some getting use to seeing Ziazan as it is now. A lot more awkward moments.
Da knows about it, too. I had to tell him when it came up about Ellandra's pregnancy. He knows about that, too. Hasn't said anything to me yet about it, though. I'm not sure how he's taking it yet. He's always taught me to be very careful with lovers and told me everyday how my having children might not be a good idea, but now that it's happened, he seemed sort of happy, but it's hard to tell real emotion with Da sometimes.
Oh! And some interesting news. Ellandra was given her own Essentic by Banning. It's still just a little Spark right now, but I hope it's something to help her out. She's been so nervous lately and I can't even tell if it's from the new marriage or the baby or life here or what. I try to suss out what's bothering her and she just blames the way she was raised. It makes me worry on her, too. She's my wife and I'm left feeling helpless around her. Wish she'd be more open about things on her mind.
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Posted: Sat May 30, 2009 3:17 am
Faolan stood in the doorway of the bedroom, casually leaning against the door frame, and watched his little family bustle about. Zia grabbed a slice of toast and scampered out the front door to go play and explore the carnival while Ellandra left to work the ticket booths. That left only Rhian with him and he'd already made it clear to the little lass that he needed some time alone for a bit. Heading back into the bedroom, he shut the door and flopped down on the bed, digging his journal out from between the mattresses.Faolan I had to wait for Elle and the kids to clear out a bit before getting to set down with this again. I'm not sure I even know what to say, but only because I got so much I want to get out.
[ Stares at page a long moment before continuing. ]
Da told Ellandra about my other children, the ones that were never born. It ain't like I don't think on them sometimes, but it's not exactly a part of my past I'm proud of. I didn't want Elle to know. Not like that. Da always knows the one way to shame me or hurt me. He made his point, though, and he and I will be having a chat about this.
That aside, guess what the cards told me! Go on, guess. Right, you're a book and can't actually talk. Anyway, I did a shared reading with Elle about our baby . . . or I should say babies. We're to be having twins apparently. I'm trying to be happier about that, given that, hey, I managed to sire twins again and these will actually get to be born, but there's just something about the cards drawn for them that I worry on.
The Hermit and Temperance. Withdrawal and patience. A loner and . . . what? I haven't told Elle, but I have the vaguest sense that we'll be blessed with one of each, a boy and a girl. I hope so. I'd like a son and I know she very much wants a daughter. It's just that, I see something else there. A burden for our children. I can't help worrying, but I'll wait to tell Elle. She's happy about the knowledge of twins and that we'll probably have one of each. I don't want her to stress over some possibility of something being wrong. Her worrying will do more harm than good.
La, Aveta watch over her and our children and Bran give me the strength to see this through. I want these children. I want to be a father. I'm ready this time. No matter what, I want these little ones in my life.
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:57 pm
Faolan Elle and the kids are hanging around the vardo today, so I've taken this journal over to the southern field to get some thoughts down without being hovered around. The thing is, it was enough to get used to Zia living with me, and then there was Elle and I wanted her so much with me. Now she has Rhian and Zia's bigger and there's the twins on the way. In only a month I went from being completely alone to having a huge family.
I always wanted a wife and children and now I have them . . . and I feel crowded. Da says its part of learning to share my life with my family. I want to be a good husband and father, and I worry that I'm letting them down. Elle worries constantly about our unborn children and I can't seem to get her to calm down. It'll just be worse when they're born and something's wrong with them--and something will be if I read the cards right. The two Essentics bicker all the time. Zia's going through the moody teenager phase and I'm sure it's still affected by what that rogue Essentic did to it, and Rhian's an annoying baby and driving us both crazy.
I never thought I'd be like Da to my own children, but I hit Zia the other day. It's not my child, but I have that connection to it sometimes. Scared us both. I don't know how that's going to affect our relationship or if its going to get more resentful of Rhian because I've been more stressed since she emerged.
I should have Trystan come over and let Crux snuggle on Zia awhile. That cheers it up well enough. Tryst is going to shoot me one day about that, but that might be a mercy killing if he's right about my long-lost family coming for me. Apparently there's a lot of s**t surrounding my birth and abandonment that I never knew about. My father--my own father--killed my mother. She saved my life taking me from him and leaving me at that church, and was murdered for her trouble. These tattoos are a death sentence from what Tryst said and I don't know how to prepare for the storm that will be coming when my father learns of my whereabouts.
There's no way I'm telling Elle about this, either. Zia knows, but it keeps its mouth shut. I don't want her to worry and Rhian . . . I just don't want either of them in this. I'll talk to Banning about it, though. Maybe he can help.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:12 am
A little something something that really didn't fit anywhere else.Old Memories The carnival was bustling as usual; performers heading to shows, patrons going to see new attactions, all manner of activity was passing by the small tent where Faolan sat at the feet of Grandmother, watching her practice her craft of fortune telling. She wasn't is true grandmother, his only family being his adopted father, but everyone refered to her as such and so Faolan did, too.
"Pay attention, boy," the elderly woman said, holding up her palm for Faolan to see. "A whole person's life can be read here in the lines of their hand, but you have to know what it's telling you."
"Okay, Grandmother," the boy said, scooting closer to see her hand as she pointed out the lines, explaining what they meant.
Ellandra was lost. This wasn't atypical for the four (Almost five, she'd insist, though her birthday was still nearly four months away) year old, as her natural curiosity led her away from her parents on a regular basis, despite their attempts to keep her close. They’re tried everything from stressing the dangers of wandering away to a child-harness; nothing worked. Ellandra would find a way to slip away from them unseen, and wind up halfway across the world before they’d noticed she was gone.
Was it any surprise that this carnival, with all of its many curiosities and wonders, had drawn her away from the safe company of her parents yet again? She had no idea where they were, but unlike most children who would be wailing in terror by now, Ellandra didn’t even seem to notice. Instead, she was more intrigued by a tent she saw across the way; and walked toward it, her tiny-child body clomping along in her favorite pair of oversized boots. When she reached it, her large grey eyes locked on the figure of a boy a few years older than her, with really pretty bright orange hair – she wanted orange hair! It was so very pretty!
Faolan felt someone watching him from behind, his attention unfocusing from the lesson Grandmother was teaching him. Turning to look behind him, his golden eyes widened, locking onto the grey eyes of the girl staring at him. Something in him felt different now, looking at her, like a sense of coming home.
He moved around at the elderly woman's feet so he could see the girl better now, then motioned for her to come to him, wanting to be near her. Grandmother's hand ruffled his hair affectionately and Faolan knew that for now the lesson was over. Usually the woman would fuss at him for not paying attention, but she seemed rather at ease with his trying to get the girl to come to him.
When the boy turned to look at her, Ellandra gave a little gasp; normally she didn’t really like boys, they were scary and liked to play with gross things like worms! But somehow, this pretty-haired boy had the nicest eyes she’d ever seen, she felt so . . . so comfy, just looking at him. She blinked as he waved her over to him, and clomped her way over, stopping about a foot a way and peering at him.
“H’llo!” she chirped, reaching out to him with a pudgy hand, a finger of her other hand resting on her lip. “You have pretty hair, can I have pretty hair too?”
The boy took her hand in his, gently pulling her closer. "You can have anything you want from me." He wasn't quite sure why he'd said that, though. Living in Farstep had taught him to be closely guarded against outsiders, but here he was, ready to give his very life to this small girl.
Grandmother once again stroked the boy's hair, clearing her throat. She recognized a soul meeting when she saw it, but wanted to be sure since it didn't often happen that children found their soulmates so easily. "Faolan, why not give her a reading?"
Faolan blinked and looked back at the elderly woman, remembering her and feeling a little ashamed that he'd actually forgotten she was there in the presence of the strange girl. "That's, um . . . that's a good idea." He looked back at the girl. "Sit here on the other side of the table, please."
"Use these," Grandmother told him, handing him the old, well-worn deck she always carried with her. Faolan was a little surprised. She never let him use that deck and she only used it with special clients.
Ellandra obligingly sat where she was told, momentarily distracted from the surprisingly nice and wonderful boy by the deck of cards that had just been handed too him. “Ooh, pretty!” She chirped again, smiling at the boy. “You get to play with pretty cards? You’re so lucky!” Tilting her head a bit, she blinked suddenly, just now remembering the manners her Mama was working so hard to teach her. “Oh, sorry – I’m Ellandra but Mama al’ays calls me Ell-bell, Papa calls me by my whole name though, what’s your name? How do you play with the cards? I like them, they look really nice – I bet you have lots of fun living here!”
The boy found himself slightly overwhelmed by the flood of questions, ears lowering a bit, and got a little shy in the presence of the girl. Grandmother's gentle hand on his back helped him get courage, though. "I'm Faolan and these--" He held up the deck. "--are special cards that can tell your fortune. Would you like me to show you?"
Somehow sensing that the pretty-haired boy was a bit scared – a boy, scared? Of her? How silly! – Ellandra kept herself a little calmer when she spoke this time. “Yes, please! I’d like to see what the pretty cards do!” Then she smiled, almost shyly, at the older boy as she said his name, “Faolan.” She liked that name. She liked it a lot – she liked this boy a lot, too, she couldn’t understand why but she wanted to stay with him forever!
Faolan looked up at Grandmother. "What sort of pattern should I do?"
"Something simple, boy. A one card reading," the old woman said, patting the boy on the shoulder.
Faolan nodded and shuffled the deck in his small hands, having a surprising amount of finesse for his age. He set the deck on the table and took Ellandra's hand, placing it on top of the deck. "Do you know how to cut the deck? You pick up a stack of them, as many as you want and set those aside. Then you pick up the top card from what's left and lay it down."
“Uh-huh, I know,” Ellandra said happily, blinking in surprise at how big Faolan’s hands were compared to hers – of course, everyone had hands bigger than hers! “Mama’s teachin’ me to play poker but I can’t tell Papa,” she said, making a shushing noise and giggling. Very carefully, because the cards were really much too big for her tiny hands, she cut the deck like Faolan – such a nice name – had told her to, and picked a card, wondering why her Mama’s cards weren’t anywhere near as pretty as these. “What’s this card mean?” She asked, blinking at the wonderful picture that was on it.
Faolan took the card from her and blinked. The Lovers. What an odd and somewhat appropriate-feeling card for the girl to draw. He was about to say tell her how it meant a new romance and passion and all the other things tied to it when Grandmother's hand tightened on his shoulder.
"It means you will have a little bit of a wait in your young life before you are truly happy and whole," Grandmother said, taking the card from the child with the hand she didn't currently have Faolan's shoulder in a death grip with. The boy looked at her, confused about that reading. That wasn't what the card meant. Again, before he could speak, Grandmother was already saying something again. "Faolan, help this girl find her parents and then come straight back here."
"Yes, Grandmother," the boy said, standing up. He put the cards back together and reshuffled the deck, out of habit. Looking up at the old woman, he gave her a look and cut the cards, then walked off, motioning for Ellandra to follow.
Ellandra blinked, not really understanding what the old woman was saying. “But I AM happy,” she said, completely missing the part about being “whole” – she didn’t understand yet, anyway. Of course, she was even happier here with Faolan than she was when Mama taught her their secret card game! She squeaked when the old lady told Faolan to take her back to her parents – they’d told her that if she wandered off, they’d take her home as soon as they found her! If he took her back to them, she’d have to say goodbye! She didn’t want to do that! “No, no, no! I don’t want to leave!” She yelped, following the older child nevertheless, tears welling up in her eyes as she clomped along in her oversized boots.
The boy would never see the card Grandmother drew from the deck he'd cut. He would have no idea that the Three of Swords was reversed when it was drawn. If he had, he might have had warning of the old woman's plans to ensure the two would be seperated as long as she could keep them apart.
Faolan took her hand in his, not wanting her to go, either. He looked at her, a sad expression on his face from her tears. "What if I get something for you to remember your visit here by? Would that make you feel better?" He lead her to one of the midway stalls and waved the vendor down to get a stuffed animal for Ellandra. The man handed him a fluffy blue bear.
The tiny girl hugged the bear close to her, nodding a little but still looking very upset. “B-but I’ll MISS you,” she said, a desperate tinge of sadness in her voice as she reached to him with a small hand. Then she ran around behind the older child and tried to hide, because she saw her Mama and Papa in different parts of the crowd, both looking very worried, and both calling for her. Mama was closer, though, and everyone always said she looked just like Mama, so Faolan could probably tell that Mama was her Mama. “Don’t make me go back, don’t make me go back,” she pleaded in a whisper, even though she did want her Mama, she loved her Mama and Papa! She just. . . didn’t want to leave Faolan! He was so much nicer and – and better than other boys, she just knew it! He was the best boy ever, and she didn’t want to leave him behind.
Faolan saw the woman moving from the crowd and knew that it was Ellandra's mother, for she was what the girl would look like when she was grown. He turned to look at the little girl hiding behind him, an overwhelming sadness settling in his heart. At that moment as Ellandra's mother came closer, he knew she'd be gone and he'd never see her again.
"I don't want you to leave, either," he said softly, moving to hug the girl, not really understanding why he was so attached to her. She was younger than him and an outsider. She didn't belong here and, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he wanted to stay at her side forever. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'll always be here, even if we're apart."
A kiss from a boy was the last thing Ellandra had wanted in her very young life, but somehow she didn’t mind at all when this boy kissed her cheek. “It’s not the same,” she said weakly, and looked around frantically for something she could give him, too – then remembered the little crystal necklace she’d gotten on her last birthday. It was very special to her, because she’d picked it out herself! She hesitated a moment, but it didn’t really feel like giving away one of her precious things, not really – more like moving a bracelet from one arm to another – and so she took her necklace off and, standing on tiptoe, placed it around Faolan’s neck.
“Here, you can have this – it’s my most special necklace!”
She beamed up at him and hugged him tightly, knowing, somehow, that she wouldn’t see him again, not for a long, long time – maybe forever. It hurt, and it made her very, very sad, so she hugged him and hugged him before she heard her Mama coming very close. She whispered a quiet, “Good-bye, Faolan,” and ran to her Mama, shooting Faolan one last, mournful look as her anxious parent scooped her up and scolded her for wandering off again.
Faolan touched the necklace, watching the girl run back to her mother. When they'd finally disappeared through the crowd, he headed back across the carnival grounds, but not Grandmother's tent. Not just yet. Instead, he went to the vardo he shared with his dad and went in, making sure he was alone, then curled up on the bed and cried for a loss he didn't rightly understand.
A soft knock on the door got his attention and he sat up, wiping at his eyes as Grandmother came in. "I thought I might find you here, child. Come here." She sat next to him, letting him burry his face against her while she hugged him. "You'll see her again, boy. For now . . . forgive me." And with that she murmured a soft spell, putting the boy to sleep in her arms. He'd wake well enough, but his memory of the girl would be greatly muted in his mind. It would be better for him that way, the old woman reasoned with herself as she lay Faolan back on the bed. They'd be better prepared when next they met. She left the vardo, not saying a word to Keagan as she passed, and walked back to her tent, wishing she'd had another choice than to keep the children apart.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 8:08 pm
Faolan sat atop the roof of the vardo he shared with Elle and now Lee. He needed alone time away from his two women to collect his thoughts. Looking down at the journal open in his lap, he picked up his pen and started to write. Faolan Two wives.
That's about the summary of it.
I just wanted to help Lee. I wanted to save her from the life her mother was forcing her into, save her from that idiot they wanted her to marry. So, I married her, handfasted, right there in front of her mother and William. Then I stole her and Lauss away to live with me and Elle.
Elle's being pretty brave on it. She says it don't bother her, that she wants to give it a try, but I know it bothers her. It ain't like I'm gonna try anything with the girl, not laying with her, I mean. I don't see the harm in hugs and kisses--she's my wife, too, now. I just don't want to do anything that will upset either one of them.
In lighter news, Verdie took me to this place where they do tattoos and talked me into getting a piercing of some sort. I decided on getting a navel ring and apparently Elle likes it a lot. If I'd know how much it did for her, I'd have gotten one sooner.
Eli came by with Uzi not long ago. Zia took to her real well. She let him ride around on her back. It was rather cute and amusing. I told them to come back anytime for another visit. I think it'll be healthy for both Essentics.
Now if I could only sort out the rest of my life as easily. Still got renovations to do and there's the marriage thing. Not to mention the twins on the way. Crazy times.
Three months to decide on staying married to Lee or not. In that time, I'll treat her as she should be treated as my wife, but I'm also going to be looking to get her adopted by someone in the clan. We'll have to just hope for the best.
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:11 pm
Ziazan sat on the steps of the vardo, the door open behind him to let air flow through the tiny wagon. It had only been a few days since the number of beings inhabiting the vardo had dwindled down to only two occupants, but it had seemed like years. The Essentic just sighed, not sure what to do to help its owner. It had tried talking to Fao, but the man wasn't interested in being placated, and it knew it couldn't talk to Ellandra.
It sighed again and looked up as a large shadow was cast over it. Blinking up at Keagan, it gave a somewhat apologetic smile at the man. "He's still not exactly up to working yet."
"Well, bullocks to tha', laddie," Keagan gruffed out, stepping up to peer into the darkened wagon. He could just barely make out the huddled figure of Faolan sitting in the corner, knees hugged to his chest and head down to rest atop them. "How long's he been like tha'?"
"Since he found out," Zia answered, twisting a bit to look in the vardo. "He's not eaten or slept or moved. I thought he might be dead, but he cries sometimes, so I guess he's still breathing."
Keagan stepped in, walking over to kneel before the young halfbreed. "You cannae do this to yourself, lad."
"If'n you ain't here t'tell me Elle's home, you can rightly ******** off," Faolan muffled out, not looking up.
"Oi, you blighter, I still be your da an' you still gotta respect me," the old man grumbled. "Sittin' in the dark and stinkin' ain't gonna bring her home. Get yourself up an' fed an', for gods' sakes, take a bath. Then gae find your girl an' bairns an' bring them home."
Faolan moved his head, golden eyes just barely visible through his unruly hair. "She wonnae be comin' home."
"Hae you asked her?" Keagan sighed.
"Nae, an' I donnae hae to. Ifn she was wantin' to work things out, she'd hae ne'er left to begin wi'. I was wrong an' I was stupid," the young man said, letting his head rest back down. "I deserve this. I shoulda just let Lee suffer marryin' tha' bloke."
"I knows I didnae raise a stupid boy, lad, but for some reason, I seem t'be haein' trouble locatin' him," Keagan said, reaching over to grab Faolan's arm, pulling him forward. "You done a sight lot of stupid things, sure, but you ne'er done them for selfish reasons. Aye, 't was wrong to marry tha' young lass, but you did the right thing in bringin' her here. Should maybe hae looked into gettin' her moved out and the marriage annulled faster, but cannae change the past. Now get your arse up and gae bathe. Take Zia wi' you to make sure you do nothin' more stupid. I'll hae a meal ready for you to eat when you're back. Ain't no son o' mine gonna starve himself to death on my watch."
Faolan let himself be pulled up and eventually pushed out of the vardo. He looked down at Zia, the Essentic stepping up to the man's side to help him walk to the showers. Faolan sighed, utterly defeated and broken, deciding to just let Zia and his father take care of him.
After some time the man and Essentic returned, Fao being pushed down into a chair at the table. A hot plate of food was set before him, but he realized he had no appetite. He sat quietly and stared at the food, then closed his eyes as tears slipped free.
"Oh, now, lad. Donnae gae t'doin' tha'," Keagan soothed, hugging Faolan. "It hurts, true enough, but you gotta pull yourself together an' fight for her. You need your strength up, so eat."
Faolan wiped at his eyes, sniffling. "I think I might maybe wanna quit Farstep, Da. Maybe a real job wi' a real house would make her come back. She hates this place."
"I'm just gonna chalk tha' nonsense up t' you grievin' an' pretend I didnae hear tha'," Keagan said, letting Fao go so he could sit opposite him at the table. "Lad, that girl knew what you was an' where you lived an' what you did for a livin' when she met you and married you. You think she's gonna change her mind on stuff just because you're gonna do more foolish things?"
"I donnae know, Da. I just . . . I want her home," Faolan said, looking down. "This place, this vardo, it's hers. I got it for her and fixed it up for her. Bein' here wi'out her, it feels so empty. I never really knew how alone I was without her till I had her and she left." He looked up at Keagan. "I donnae want this place anymore. I donnae know where I'll go, but I cannae be here. She hated what I did for a livin', so I'll find work in the city."
"Lad, you're just hurtin'. Donnae be thinkin' about all tha' just now," Keagan said softly. "Besides, there ain't many a place that'd be offerin' good jobs to the didikai. You knows tha'. Just eat--donnae make us force feed you like an infant--an' then come with me. We'll be lettin' you stay with us till you feel better."
Zia sat down outside the vardo again, letting Keagan take care of Faolan. Everything had gone so wrong. It should've been there more to see this happening. Zia looked down, sighing softly. It hadn't been a very good Essentic to its owner, letting him ******** up his life so badly. Now it didn't know how to begin on helping to make it right, if it could be made right.
Ziazan My first time in writing in a journal. Faolan had given me one awhile back, but I'd never thought to use it. He's at his father's for who knows how long. I elected to stay in the vardo to keep an eye on things here, and because there's simply just not room for three at Keagan's.
I feel like such a failure. I was here and, with my abilities, I should've seen this coming.
It's strange to see him so broken, so utterly . . . empty. Faolan's usually so full of life and energetic, and it's like seeing what's left behind after a butterfly has emerged and flown away. A shell. That's what it's like. He wasn't even bothering to go through the motions, he just shut down. I can't imagine Keagan will be able to help him, but at least he can bully Faolan into eating and make him resemble something human again.
I don't know what will happen if she never comes back. The Faolan that everyone knew is so shriveled now into this strange husk that's taken his place, if she tells him that its truly over, I worry that he might cease to exist entirely. What will happen to me then?
She's at Elst's, so maybe I should go visit Aoi. Two Essentics wanting to visit each other shouldn't seem too strange. I won't try to talk to her, doubtful she'd listen to me, or Rhian--who would listen even less--but Aoi might not mind telling me how they're doing. If he asks about Fao, well, I'll tell him. What he does with that knowledge is up to him. Can't force fate's hand in this, so I won't even try. Fao should know how his unborn children are doing, at least, and I'm sure Elst is concerned for Fao given their friendship.
Maybe I should talk to Banning and see if something's wrong with me. I should've been doing more to help Fao and I failed him. What use am I as an Essentic if I'm broken?
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 4:16 pm
Faolan rocked in the hammock strung up in the back yard, Bert snoring softly on his stomach. It was a nice day and he couldn't resist spending time outside. Elle had agreed to watch the kids and, to his knowledge, Rhian was studying in her room. He moved his head a bit to look down at where Zia was sitting close by at the foot of the tree and smiled. Life was good. Faolan Been awhile since I wrote, but it took me that long to sort some stuff out and have time to write. Elle did come home, and thank the gods for that. Our twins were born and they're beautiful. Bel, I think, takes after me a lot. I just have that feeling. She's my girl. Sam . . . well, Sam did turn out blind as we had thought he would and he certainly has my abilities, but he's Elle's kid. I think he's going to take more after her in personality, quiet and reserved and shy.
And on the wifey front, Lee and I did get our annulment. About two hours before I learned that Elle had left. Luckily that didn't last long. Lee lives in her own place now, or at least did. She moved in with Rory, a boy I introduced her to not long ago. They apparently hit it off rather well. He bought some land not too far from the land I bought (yes, I finally built my woman a house like she's always wanted) and built a cottage. His parents are looking after it and Lauss right now.
Elle's got a new book coming out which is just awesome. I've been trying to catch up on her series. I told her the other day she should try writing children's books. She likes telling the kids around here all sorts of stories and she's good at it.
I also think she wants another baby. I told her we should wait a bit, not because I'm not into the idea, but it just seems kind of soon with the twins. It'd be nice though since we have the room.
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