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 Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 5:45 pm
Part 4 of chapter 1 has been added: And you would Die.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 5:57 pm
Wow, all I can say was that that was powerful. Really, really something.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:06 pm
Thanks, I don't know how to explain this poem, I just, I began to write then I emotionally broke down into words. I guess it was lucky I was writing while I hit this peak.
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Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:52 pm
Again, wow.
Your instincts must be very good.
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:15 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 4:29 pm
ash-nite oh my god oh my god a choked off scream a breathing halt the words the lies you whispered in my ear stop the truth trickles free undoing the clasp that locks in life the truth will free you the truth will set you free from body from mind for the truth is a killer in blackness it hides claming the life of those who seek death in purest form I've been there to the suicide path to the garden of death to the flower of release from this body this weight upon my soul
Not to be a pain, but please post your own stuff in your thread smile
Just so you don't hijack threads and we can make sure you get the attention your deserve.
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 8:24 am
I just read Chapter 1-1: Feel, and I must say, it amazed me in a very good way. It's so rare to find poetry these days that isn't flowery or about natural scenes, etc. It gave me goosebumps and shivers, horrified me in a beautiful way. I absolutely loved it. I'm going to read the others now, and will be looking out for your work in the future. I hope when you publish this, that I might be able to pick up a hardcopy.
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 8:29 am
Just read Chapter 1-2: Suicide Club.
Gotta say, as I read it I felt like music ought to be playing with it. The way it flowed made me think of lyrics of a song. I very much liked it. I particularly like how you portray the hating of the words, how the person presses their hands to their head so hard it hurts, and still can't get rid of the words. I think we've all had moments similar to that, where we wish not to hear something in our minds but it's too late to get rid of it. Excellent. biggrin
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 8:34 am
Chapter 1-3: Garden.
I'm curious, is the pomegranate involved in this poem in any way related to the Greek myth involving the kidnapping of Persephone by Hades? If you don't know what I mean, I'll be happy to clarify.
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Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 8:38 am
Chapter 1-4: And you would Die.
I feel like two poems were worked into one. Not in a bad way, just that as I read, I kept expecting the poem to go one way, but then it would go in a completely other direction. I like each section for itself, but put together I get confused. I think that's what I like about your poetry, though. It's form is whatever you feel like making it to be, it's organization is raw emotion. Very interesting, and certainly a lot of fun to read.
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 1:49 pm
Work on this chapter became suspended until further notice.
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