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 Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:59 pm
Original post 10/21/05 White and Jet "And so then... then" Wasa looked off to the side, her mouth screwing up in confusion. "Well what I was saying... was. ... " Her voice cracked at the last instant, causing her to toss back her head and stare at the ceiling with a bemused smile. "Nevermind... you say what it was you were going to say." Orestae had needed a place to stay, Wasabineko had been happy to oblige. Add company to the fact that she had finally managed persuade Karma into watching Arun for a night and she was double the merrier. A few more unmentionable ingredients and a cozy attic den and she was just filled with immeasurable delight. There was definitely a reason that the counselor at the clinic had told Orestae never to mix drugs and alcohol. Hell, she wasn't technically supposed to be using either, but they'd given up prying her off of both at once and had decided to stick to the lesser of two evils. A bottle of vodka and a few thousand dollars later, she'd been let loose with a careful reminder never, ever to mix drugs and alcohol again. As usual, she hadn't listened. Just like Kazu hadn't listened when he'd decided to hang from a rusty support beam and brought down the roof of her house; fat a** monkey baby. "Well, it was like, he's just standing there, looking at me. This giant crazy-a** clown guy, and I was like hey, ******** you man, what are you staring at? And he just stood there. It wasn't until like forty-five minutes later that I realized I was talking to the big plastic clown outside of McDonalds." Stae tipped her vodka bottle back again, smiling contently and leaning sideways against Wasa. "Never did get my hat back, though." "That... sucks. But you got a new one. A better one." She pointed enthusiastically to Orestae's head. "That one!" Wasa stood wobbly to her feet, letting Orestae's head fall to the beanbag on which she had been sprawled upon. She had never needed to speak to a counselor about her little forays. She had always been well in control of her vices. After all she had freed herself of dependents for the evening, she was in the company of another responsible adult, and she had no idea where her car keys were. Hell... she wasn't sure that she could find her way out of the attic at this point. She found her way to the center of the room, the one place where one could stand their full height and meet the splintering edge of a rafter, and spread her arms. "I just wanted to say that I have... a beautiful house. So... so pretty! And I am... so grateful that YOU are here to christen this fine fine secret den that little children will never ever no about because I." she pointed to herself. "I... am a good parent." Stae didn't need to remember where her car keys were. They'd taken away her license when she ran over that cow. A slow, lopsided grin spread over Stae's dark face as Wasa spoke, though that was possibly due to the fact that the room was spinning, a fact which Stae found most entertaining. "And what a dine fen it is!" she slurred, lifting her vodka bottle in one hand, and the small bong that she had fandangled out of a used vodka bottle in the other. The process of getting to her feet was both slow and painful, as she managed to smash her head into the low ceiling several times in the process. "You are a good parent. And I am a good parent." Stae poked herself in the chest as she staggered towards Wasa, "Just because we," Hiccup. "Like to have fun, doesn't mean we're bad parents. We're mature! We're adults! We're mothers! Viva la resis-" Her words were cut off as she made a failing attempt at striking a heroic pose, and instead ended up right on her a** on the floor. "Stance!" Wasa finished enthusiastically before doubling over with giggles. "Stance... You couldn't make a stance... pose... thingy. Oh ********." Her hat toppled off her head, bouncing once before being kicked to the side by her foot. "Now I've lost my hat... Oh dear" She sobered for only a moment before bursting into laughter. "My hat is so stupid! Oh my god why have I been wearing that thing for so long..." She covered her mouth with her finger tips as she steadied herself on the roof. "Now I've goofed again." She wobbled a bit before sinking to the floorboards "Oh well. You think we finished yet?" She reached over Orestae's lap and grasped the air at her side, vainly trying to close fingers over glass. "Or just a little more?" Stae giggled and leaned happily back, staring up at her drunken companion with a lopsided smirk that absolutely screamed with inebriation. She straightened her own hat with one unsteady hand, which ultimately resulted in making it even more crooked than it was in the first place. "Are we ever finished?" she questioned with a grin, plucking up the bottle that Wasa failed to grasp and fitting it into her groping palm. "More. Always more." "Just... a little more." She deserved it after all she had been such a good girl. She squirmed and twisted until her head rested in Stae's lap, leaving her mouth in prime position to let the poison drip, drip, drip onto her waiting tongue. "I won't tell aaaanybody." She tilted her had back further to stare up Sta'es nose. "Yoooou aren't going to tell are you?" Stae's face scrunched in a wide grin, compressing her dark features until she looked utterly ridiculous. "Oh yes," she chided while carefully positioning the bottle above Wasa's mouth. Considering she could barely keep her hand steady and the fact that she was giggling madly, the situation just begged for a dire accident, "I'll tell Arun, or Kazu, because you know," she tilted the bottle a bit, completely missing Wasa's face entirely and pouring the vodka right onto her own skirt, "our boys would never expect us to be up here drinking." "No no no" Wasa shook her head and hands outright. "Because then they will want some. And that would be wrong. Wrong wrong WRONG. Our boys will never ever drink. Kids shouldn't drink... not even when they are big." One hand slapped loosely against Orestae's shoulder, the other flopped uselessly to her side. "Your shirt is wet..." "Bah, Kazu drinks all the time!" She slurred, gesturing pointlessly with one hand, "Just the other day he drank this bug juice, and I tell you what it was the nastiest I've ever seen. Worms and crickets and all this junk, clogged up my blender and ev-" Stae stopped suddenly and looked down at her shirt, more specifically at the widening dark spot upon it that reeked of alcohol. "So it is," she murmured, twisting her mouth sideways in a contemplative expression. "Well only one thing to do about that, you know." Thus, she promptly pulled her short over her head and threw it aside. It was only by pure luck that it didn't land near one of the candle and catch on fire. Wasa's jaw dropped as she found her eyes neatly parked beneath Stae's black satin clad upper unmentionables. "Stae!" she hissed, utterly scandalized. "You. aren't. wearing. a. shirt!" Apparently, this was news to Stae, who glanced once down at said unmentionables, blinked a coupled of times, and proceeded to look profoundly confused. Well damn, how the hell did those get out there? A moment of silence passed between them as Stae's brain attempted to solve this most puzzling mystery. "Why no.. no I am not." Apparently, it wasn't up to the task. "Is this a problem?" Wasa blinked, thinking it over. "Aren't you... cold?" She would be cold... she was kinda cold now. Wait. Now she was hot. She needed to get up, needed to lie down. Was that her stomach making her noise or Stae's. With a bit of the moan she turned and buried her face deeper into Stae's thighs. Maybe she had too much after all. The last thing she really clearly remembered was '********... that 50% off coupon expired today didn't it?' Stae giggled and shook her head, though there was an anatomical tell-all that suggested that she was, in fact, extremely cold. She gently stroked the back of Wasa's head, humming a tune that likely did not actually exist anywhere other than in her head. At that moment, though, she was quite sure it was the refrain of some horribly popular pop song. Lifting the empty bottle to her lips, Stae attempted to take another drink as she leaned back. Quite the contrary, her last clear thought was, 'Hey, there's a ceiling fan up here?' Unfortunate. For come morning and the weeks that followed, both would have paid handsomely to know what exactly happened after their senses succumbed to stupor. Not that it would have made a difference if they did remember Because the damage has now been done And now we have a story.
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:00 pm
Original Post 12/03/05 White and Jet Dear Journal: Okay so I know I've never used you before. Frankly I bought you just because I needed a new sketchbook, but I've finally hit that point. I don't need to kid you. You and I both know what has been going on these last few years. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried covering it up. I get weird looks walking down the street for dressing and acting as I do but it would be so much worse if any one of those gawkers knew what they were staring at. I woke up this morning in the attic. Orestae was there, half clothed. She's still there in fact. I have no idea what happened. I can't remember a damn thing. All I know, is that, for first time since they arrived, they are agreeing on something. They are proud of themselves, congratulating themselves. They've never been happier... and now I'm scared out of my mind. Wasabineko
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:04 pm
Original post 01/08/06 White and Jet I can't find my ******** notebook. I just bought that damn thing, and now I can't find it. Which sucks, because I'm pretty sure I stuck that bribe money in there somewhere. I bet Kazu has it somewhere chewing the front cover off.
God only knowns I love that little monkey, but suspecting that he's in his room eating cardboard is more than enough to suggest what I think about his intelligence.
Anyways, I missed my period last week. Now normally I wouldn't care, but hell, I've never missed it. I work like a clock. Every month, same time, same place. Except this month. So I did what any normal non-bleeding woman would do, and I high tailed my a** up to the hospital for a physical.
Now I'm not going to say that I'm a Virgin Goddess. Just that I've been down on my luck and more concerned with work this past month than with getting laid. Thus... I haven't ******** gotten laid in half a year. So there's no need to worry about being knocked up, right?
...Right?
You are incorrect, sir! That's right. By some miracle of God or Modern Science, I am officially carrying a bun in the oven, expecting, with child, pregnant, or however else you want to put it. I'm not mother material. I can't give birth. I mean, I might have been a bit premiscuous in college, but I can't fit a baby through there. That just doesn't work.
********. Add that onto how the hell I'm going to tell Wasa that I'm knocked up and she's the only one I (might) have been even remotely intimate with in the past six month, and you have me up s**t river without a paddle.
Bombs away.
-Stae
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:06 pm
Original Post 01/08/06 White and Jet It was early.. far too early. Early enough that the sun had not yet risen, but the children had, flooding into both Orestae and Wasa's rooms with an urgency that could come only once a year. Only after months of shopping and wrapping and cookie baking. Only after weeks of anticipation and waiting, and after a single sleepless night. Only on Christmas morning. Stae yawned sleepily and scrubbed at her eyes with the back of one hand, a cup of coffee clutched in the other as Kazu tugged at her bathrobe, pulling her towards the living room. There was a small but pretty tree set up, and a pile of accumulated presents littered the floor, hours worth of wrapping about to be decimated in a matter of minutes. Seconds, if Kazu had his way. She swept the little lemur up off of the floor and into her lap with one arm, setting her coffee down on the table. "Chill, little man," she said, scratching behind his ear as he reached for he presents, "We need to wait for everyone else, you know." Arun was perched in the most prime of real estate- the tree itself. His eyes gazed so wide at the bounty of vibrant boxes below that prisms of colored lights caused the irises to glow. It was his first christmas, true, but he knew what those bundles meant. He clutched a half eaten satsuma, the greatest treasure from his Christmas stocking, and waited. Wasa was the last to arrive, still adjusting her hat over her mask though it did little to distract from her mussed hair and wrinkled robe. Though it didn't matter much in the end, she wished she had realized sooner that Orestae and Kazu would possibly be about for Christmas. It changed the whole affair from a quiet one on one interaction to a much trickier gathering with serving and sharing and screeching/ Stae kept her arm firmly locked around Kazu's waist like a seatbelt, holding the struggling boy against her as she took a sip of her coffee. His little squeals of anger and anticipation did little to phase her, and only after she gave a tired smile to Wasa did she let the Fourth Wall child jump down out of her lap and begin all but burrowing into the presents. He knew better than to open any.. yet.. but that didn't stop him from shaking each and every one he got his hands on. Of course, none of the presents under that tree could compare to the one she had hidden for Wasa in the pocket of her robe. Stae leaned back against the couch and propped her feet up on he coffee table - manners were never her strong point, "Think we should let them go at it before Kazu tears the tree down?" At that point, the lemur had discarded a blue-wrapped present in preference for his jealous of Arun's position. He was slowly but surely attempting to work his way up through the branches, knocking ornaments off left and right. "Baby NO!" Arun shrieked as a penguin ornament slipped from the bough above and bonked him on the head. "Is my tree I here FIRST. You stay on ground!" He tried to make a grab for higher ground but quickly found himself entangled in a garland of pinenuts (don't ask.) Wasa rubbed at her cheeks groggily as the tree teetered haphazardly with both children inside. It kinda brought memories of just last week where the exact same exercice played out on battle feild of Santa's lap. In the end Kazu won the hat, Arun won the beard, and collectively they achieved a 3 month ban from the local mall. "Boys!" Wasa cleared her throat and used her fledgeling authority voice. "Tree time is over. Present time begins now." Stae was -still- pissed that she couldn't go shopping at Victoria's Secret for another month. There were some things that she was never meant to do without; a woman needed her lace and ribbon G-strings. "Knock it off Batman, Monkeyboy," she echoed Wasa in her own unique wording, eyeing her parenting partner sideways, "We'll get ours out of the way later, I think they need the preoccupation more." She gave a slight smile before pushing herself up and fishing her adopted son out of the tree. Kazu gave only a little resistance, giving up as soon as Stae mentioned some threat that involved him never getting his presents. "Here, this one's yours," she murmured, fishing a pair of presents out of the jumbled pile at her feet, "Arun, I see quite a few down here with your name on them too, if you feel like coming down to get them? Of course, if not, I'm sure Wasa and I could do with a few new toys.." "I dropped my orange..." Arun mewled pitfully, leaning out of the tree and staring down at the trail of juice that disappeared under the couch. Wasa took a seat, setting her coffee safely in the center of a silk flower wreath armed with plastic pine needles. "It's okay Arun. You can have mine. Do you need help." "No." "Do you need Stae to give you a present?" "Yes." "Because you are stuck" There was a brief pause. "No..." "It's okay," Stae said, reaching down to pull out one of the presents with Arun's name on it, "You open this, sweetheart, and I'll go get you a new orange. God only knows what kind of diseases Kazu's tracked in all over the floor." Surprising, that she handled the child that wasn't hers better than the one that was. Perhaps it was the blatant difference in behavior. Stae settled a present in the branches next to Arun, "Oh Jesus, Kazu, no!" She said abruptly, bending down to separate the boy from the box that he was chewing on. "That's not how you do that, smart one. You pull the paper off of the box, you don't eat it." She demonstrated, pulling back a flap of paper and patting him on the head. "Are you sure they don't suffer some sort of brain trauma coming through that gate?" she questioned Wasa with a smile, adjusting her robe - she had once against neglected to wear anything under it - and kneeling down to retrieve the runaway orange. "Don't ask me, mine's just fine" Wasa gesutured up to the tree where Arun had begun to scratch at the paper with his thumb, taking it of in small shreds as best he could. "Bat hardships aside, but he gets along just fine for being a pair of thumbs." Arun's claw snagged against a bit of fabric as the rest of the paper fell away from the present. He lifted his wing, examining it. It was soft, velvety, and square... but it had a hole in it! "Is a bad blanket... broken" Wasa laughed. "It's not a blanket! It's a poncho. Don't think just because you don't have arms you get to walk around topless the rest of your life. No sir." She stood up and approached the tree, gingerly unhooking the garment from his claw and sliding it over his befuddled head. Arun took a look at the poncho, then down past his body to the skirt wrapped around the base of the tree, and was even more confused. Fishing the orange out from under the couch was a more difficult process than Stae had originally assumed, and she ended up face down upon the carpet after a few moments, head and shoulders stuffed under the couch. She slammed her head against the underside of the couch as she attempted to stand and let out a curse that was anything but appropriate, given the day. �And the fact that there were two young children in the room. With a grumble, she went off to deposit the fruit in the garbage, wash her hands, and pluck a new orange from the basket. When she returned, Kazu had the socks from his first presents hanging out of his mouth, and was already ripping violently at the paper of the second. He clamored greedily for the contents of the second pulling out and holding up a pair of Power Ranger underpants. "Poowoo!" He exclaimed, waving the underpants excitedly over his head. That is, before he pulled them snugly on over his head, giggling madly and fishing for another present. Names didn't matter to Kazu. It was wrapped. It had a bow. Therefore it was fair game. "Poowoo indeed," Stae mumbled, lifting another present up into the branches for Arun and slumping back onto the couch to peel the orange for him. "So what's the plan for the day, oh master of the house?" She turned to Wasa with one brow arched, flicking bits of orange peel onto the floor. Wasa watched as the little bits of rind hit the floor. "Cleaning... I imagine" Stae wasn't he sharpest knife in the drawer, and obviously didn't get the hint. She flicked another piece of orange peel onto the floor and snorted softly, "I wouldn't allow it. It's Christmas day, and we have two little boys just dying," Kazu was literally all but strangling himself with the ribbon he had taken to playing with now, "to have some fun." "I thought we could maybe�" Stae glanced up from the orange, giving a slight shrug, "Do a bit of rearranging?" "Rearranging?" That didn't sound like something the boys would enjoy at all... and it sounded a lot like cleaning. What was wrong with her definition of cleaning? Stae's involved back strain, hers prevented mold from growing on the rug. Besides, she loved having Orestae and Kazu about as long term guests... but this was her house and she had already arranged things quite to her liking. "I don't get it..." Social graces weren't Stae's strong point by far. And as such, her people skills in general seemed to suffer greatly. So in moments like these, were one had to attempt to break news in the most delicate and graceful way possible, she found herself unbelievably flustered. "Well, there's this.. um.. thing." She attempted, pausing every few second to think, "And I don't really know how it happened or how it's even.. possible. But.. I'm sort of just a little..pregnant. Just, you know, a little.." "A... little?" Wasa pursed her lips. She knew her biology enough to know that pregnant really only came in two levels. There was pregnant and not pregnant. If there was such a thing as 'little' pregnant, it was just a nice way of saying 'just recently' pregnant. Just recently pregnant had a nasty habit of becoming 'Damn, I've been pregnant for some time now.' There was a nice way of saying that too: 'Really pregnant' "Who..." To Stae, a little pregnant was the same as telling someone, 'I sort of have AIDS.' You knew you had it, but you wanted to make it sound as non-severe a thing as possible when the person who you were speaking to was potentially involved. "Well, that's what sort of confuses me." She tore off a piece of the orange and stood, wandering over to settle it in the crock of the branch next to Arun, "I haven't been with a man since that whole bank robbery incident, and I certainly haven't done anything recently enough to get pregnant.. so I wasn't sure if somehow� against the laws of Physics and Nature and everything I ever learned in grade school� maybe you?" Wasa smiled nervously. "I'm just a human. Nothing remotely mystical about me really... and I'm a woman to boot. It's something you kinda need a man for. How far along?" Desopandora: Running a hand through her hair, Stae nodded, "That's sort of what I figured, I'm just.. not really sure what to think. About four to six weeks, the doctor said, which is sort of what made me suspect.. because that one night� and yeah." She shrugged and slumped back down on the couch, "I just.. I don't see how it's possible to get knocked up if you're not even putting out. So much for that abstinence bullshit hey taught in Sex Ed." "That one night..." Wasa stared forward into the tree, past Arun and his treat, into the distant reflection of her face in a red glass ball. For the first time, she realized that children and excitement aside, it had been a very, very quiet morning. Quiet week... quiet month. So quiet since that. night. "You..." Her jaw dropped slightly as she felt a shiver slide over her eyes. "Mother... ********." One blonde brow rose, and Stae paused in the process of digging her thumb down into the middle of the orange to pull the pieces apart. Well, that certainly wasn't something she heard come out of Wasa's mouth often. For a moment she was silent, watching the other woman thoughtfully, waiting for an elaboration. When none was offered quickly enough to suit her obnoxious impatience, Stae piped up, "Is there.. something I should maybe know?" "Maybe" That's enough... both of you. You think lying low all this time was supposed to clear you? Wasa tilted back her head and gazed at the ceiling, focusing her thoughts on the unholy diatribe she was about to lay on the only pair of guests that had been shacking up with her longer than Orestae and Kazu. It's winter. We are tired"Bullshit." Wasa said aloud before sinking back into her own thoughts, completely ignoring Stae and the children. Arun was now gaping, his newest gift falling from his hands. You knew I thought something was up so you thought you could cover it up. How did you think I was NOT going to figure this outWe thought she got around more... Wasa groaned, slapping her hands to her cheeks. "But... why?" You do not help us."You never asked" They hissed indignantly at the notion. You would not SERVE us, so we make one that will. Simple plan, but very cunning. You will care for child because you are soft. Child will grow and do what we could not. Then it will set us free"That is so..." If you help us never would have happened. Is your fault. We are done talking now"Wait" Wasa jumped up from the sofa and shouted. "I'll decide when we are done talking, dammit!" Stae just stared, her face fixed in a clear expression of ' What The ********?' Kazu couldn't have given a s**t less that Wasa was talking to herself, and was currently chewing on the cord of lights that snaked through the branches just beside him. Stae would have stopped him, but she was far too busy watching Wasa jump up off of the couch. "So," she interrupted Wasa's one-woman conversation, "Should I take that as an invitation to start calling you Mommy, or should I give the Gambino Asylum a call and see how quickly they can get here?" She grinned, though it was more out of not having any idea what facial expression she should be making. Wasa snapped her head about and blinked at Orestae through black lenses. "Oh no. I'm not mommy. You're the only mommy here. One mommy and t-" She stopped, pursing her lips. There had to be a better way to explain. "Okay... you have coffee right?" She sat down and took her own mug in her hands, cupping it for warmth and comfort. How could it get this bad? Years of just coexisting begrudgingly and they had to pull off the most inconsiderate, cliche move in the book. "�Just a second." Stae stood abruptly, carrying her coffee cup into the kitchen with her. There were a few moments worth of shuffling and clanking of bottles, before she came back out, settling herself back upon the couch beside Wasa. Whatever was in her cup now, it sure as hell wasn't 100% coffee. Stae took a long sip, paused, and nodded to herself. "Okay, now I'm good." A mote of concern for the little thing inside Stae tapped on Wasa's heart, but was smothered for the moment by her nerves and anger. If it fought all odds to be concieved within a humanbody, she doubted a splash of poison was going to harm it any. She took a breath and began. "Okay... so what I said was true. I am just a normal human. A little eccentric at times, but nothing extraordinary... except for one thing." She took a stong swig of coffee and looked the other woman straight in the eyes. "One day, several years ago, a pair of interdimensional beings, trapped in our reality with no hope of survival on their own or returning to their world unaided, took the one chance of life they could find and shacked up in my head." Stae all but choked on her coffee. It wasn't an instant reaction really. It was more the slow process of savoring the taste of Amaretto and rum in her caffeinated beverage, followed by the slow sinking in of what Wasa had said, followed again by her throat refusing to allow anymore alcohol past it until she had fully comprehended this bomb of vital information. Thus, Stae was force to set down her cop, press a hand to her chest, and spent the next few seconds recovering from the alcohol trying to take a detour through her windpipe. When those several seconds had passed, she stared at Wasa with a gaze that was more surprised than skeptical. After all, here she was, knocked up when she hadn't had proper sex in a good six months, so what room did she have to be a skeptic of the impossible? "So what you're saying is that.. that night� the.. er.. raradimensionedinterwhatevers in your head� knocked me up..?" "They've pretty much admitted to it. They aren't exactly explaining how... we don't get along all that well. The only thing they hate more than me really is eachother." Wasa grimaced. "Though they have been quick to pat eachother on the back over this mess. Metaphorically of course. They don't actually have arms." For a moment, Stae simply stared at her reflection in her mix of coffee and liquor, her lips pursed in a slight frown. Well this was� ******** up. "So what.. exactly.. am I pregnant with?" "No. Clue" Couldn't hurt to be honest. The only other answer that would have worked was 'head leech spawn' but that was a bit too honest. "But... they seem to think I'll be inclined to watch out for it. They are probably right." "Knocked up by head-roosting aliens." Stae gave herself a moment for the news to sink in, setting her coffee cup down, and letting her head fall back against the couch. Considering the fact that she couldn't think up something relevant to say, she spoke the first thing that came to her mind, "Imagine what the doctor's gonna say?" It was punctuated with a bit of completely mirthless laughter, followed by a sudden silence, and finally a quiet but strong, "********." "I don't suppose there was any explanation that was going to be comforting, was there?" Wasa asked with a touch of sadness. "I never would have thought something like this was possible. I figured the only person they could really harm was me, their host. I'm sorry..." "Hell, last time I checked," Stae said, forcing a lopsided grin and sitting up, "We were both blazed out of our minds. Besides," she looped an arm around Wasa's shoulders and pulled her over, planting a kiss on her cheek, "Not like there's anything that can be done about it now." Well, not anything that either of them would actually do. "So I guess we'll make the best out of it, but maybe it's best if we focus on the two kids we've already got.. at least for now. Because I think Kazu just at the candy cane ornament." She glanced sideways at the little lemur, who was gnawing on a candy bar that had been hidden in one of the now toppled gift bags, a gold piece of tinsel hanging off of one of his teeth.
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:17 pm
Original Post 02/28/06 White and Jet "Get the ******** out of there!" Stae screamed, ripping open the cabinet door to find one of the house's two animal-related inhabitants curled up with her box of Snackwells Devil's Food cookies. Kazu's face was buried in the opening of the box, ingesting bits of plastic wrap along with the chocolaty morsels that Stae had marked clearly for herself. At least, she had -thought- that a large duct-tape label with her name on it would have been clear enough. Her very last relief from the anguish of pregnancy, gone in a twitch of a black nose and a high-pitched giggle. "Chill, woman," Rune said from the table, staring blankly at the back of a Lucky Charms box while shoveling a spoonful of its contents into his mouth. Milk dripped from one corner, the result of every bowl in the house being used as part of Kazu's makeshift drum set - complete with spatula drumsticks - or just being dirty. Naturally, rather than washing a bowl, Rune had opted to pour the milk straight into the box. "They're just cookies." Stae snatched the box away from Kazu, lanching it at Rune's head. "******** off, Skittles." "NO SWEARS!" Arun chirped, vaulting to the counter and scrambling for a jar half full of quarters. "25 cents!" He jangled it at Orestae's plump waist. It had been Wasabineko's last ditch effort at a semblance of morality in her household, though she knew it to be lost cause in a house with two teenagers and an Orestae. Stae paused abruptly, glancing down to Arun. "God da-" "NO SWEARS!" Rune echoed with a grin, bracing his bare feet against the edge of the table and pushing his chair back onto its hind legs. Even as she snatched her purse from the counter and fished a quarter out, she half-prayed that he would fall. At least then he'd be amusing, since he sure as hell wasn't useful. "There," Stae said with a sigh, reaching out to ruffle Arun's hair as she dropped the quarter into the jar, "That's like ten ******** dollars I've had to put in that da-" "Ten twenty-five," Rune interrupted. Arun gave a grin identical to Rune's, though it lacked the vindictiveness of the teenagers. No doubt it was going to be one of many annoying habits Arun was going to be picking up from his new "older brother." "You know, Stae," Wasa called out from the living room where she was working on her latest objet d'art, "You weren't suppossed to fill up the jar before I knew what to do with the money." "Yeah, well, I figure if I curse enough you'll buy me a widescreen TV out of pity." She dropped another quarter in, sighing loudly as Kazu climbed out of the cupboard and onto her shoulders, taking one silver curl into his mouth and proceeding to chew. She didn't even bother pulling him off, preferring not to deal with the agony of ripping out her own hair in the process. "Besides, we'll probably need it when-" Stae shut up quite suddenly, and that alone was enough to say that something was wrong. "�Wasa?" "Yes yes. Big screen TV. I got it." Despite being in a house filled with shrieking, swearing, and snarking, she hadn't gone deaf... though some times she wondered if such a blessing would visit her. Arun rolled his jar nervously in the leather of his wings. "Was' wrong, Stae?" Rune twisted his head around, arching a brow as Stae's voice suddenly halted. That woman never shut up, and Rune wasn't about to miss the opportunity to figure out what it was that could make her do so. It was a secret he had been searching for for months now. "..I think my water just broke." Wasabineko blinked, a drop of hot glue dripping onto her fingers. "You... sure?" They hadn't even been able to set up a prenatal exam yet. It was way too early... but then again maybe an alien child didn't need so long to bake. Arun watched the silence warily. He knew such silences were usually followed by streams of curses. Thinking ahead he began to unscrew the cap to the jar. Arun was right on target. "Oh s**t. Oh s**t." Stae's thoughts were much along the same lines as Wasa's. Was something wrong? Was this a miscarriage? Was the baby going to be okay? She hadn't even wanted to be a mother, but even so she didn't want anything to go wrong. The questions raced through her head, and Stae bolted for the door as fast as her shaking legs would carry her. "We need to go to the hospital." "Oh come on, there's no-" "SHUT THE ******** UP, RUNE. WE'RE GOING." Wasabineko dropped the glue gun, kicking the cord out of the socket in a rush as she tried to stop Stae from doing something disastrous like tripping down the stairs. "Slow down. Slow down. We'll go in one piece." She grabbed her coat from the hook and fished out her keys as well as the keys from Stae's jacket. "Rune! Have you figured out how to drive yet?" "Uh.. yeah?" Rune half-lied. He knew how to drive - Stae had been attempting to teach him for the past few weeks - but he still wasn't exactly what one would call safe. Or licensed, for that matter. Setting down his soggy box of cereal, Rune took his dear sweet time in crossing the kitchen, stuffing one hand in his pocket and grabbing a banana from the counter with the other. Wasa tossed him her keys, or at least got them as far as the couch. "Not so fast." She opened the door and used the remote to unlock Stae's car. She had been thinking about this for awhile, however vaguely, and she had a rare plan. "I'm going ahead with Orestae. You get to babysit but if I call, I need you to put some of her things in a bag and meet up with us at the hospital with the kids. Kazu and Cas have carseats in my car. If a cop pulls you over and gives you trouble call him speciest for saying Arun can't ride with the shoulder belt behind his back. It hurts his wings." "Shitshitshit," Stae chanted, doing her best to hurry out the door. A failed attempt, as Rune grabbed ahold of her wrist, halting her long enough to remove Kazu from her head. "Rune I swear to god if you wreck the ******** car I will kill you." She yanked open the door of her car and all but fell into the seat, twitching impatiently, "Let's gooooooooo." "You're welcome," the teenager shouted after her, rolling his eyes for a moment. "Speciest pig, got it." Wasa sped off, leaving the house behind. It's a nice day, isn't it? "Oh shut the hell up." Inside the house Arun watched Rune wander back into living room. He held up the car keys for the teen to take. "So.. who's up for a joyride?" Rune said, hefting Kazu up onto his shoulders. Meanwhile, Stae anxiously clicked the seatbelt into place, holding onto the edges of her seat with a white-knuckled grip. "You think it's okay, right? It's not hurt, is it? I mean, it's not..." she trailed off, eyes darting between Wasa and her own stomach. Wasabineko pursed her lips, a little conflicted about what to say. She wanted to tell Stae that everything was going to be okay... but would it be so horrible if something had gone wrong? Her head erupted into a cacophony of shreiking hisses so loud that the car swerved momentarily as she braced herself against them. "Y-yeah." She assured her half heartedly, more to placate her guests than her passanger. "It's going to be fine. We're going to a hospital after all, right?" "Yes, hospit-augh!" Stae cut off suddenly, holding the edges of her seat in a white-knuckled grip. What the hell was that? The answer popped up in her head before she could even vocalize the question: contractions. They were ******** contractions. "Wasa.. drive faster." "But I-" She gave up with arguing with anybody. That could come later when she had control over the househild again (if she ever had control to begin with.) For now she was at the mercy of Stae, alien-baby-daddies, and whatever the hell was trying to make its debut right in the carseat. She turned a corner sharply and accelerated down the main street like it was a highway. Thank god police presence on Gaia was next to nil. The hospital was in sight. Stae attempted, and failed miserably at, the whole Lamaze thing. A few slow, deep breaths turned into a panicked wheeze, followed by a string of curses that would have bought both Wasa and herself new cars if Arun had been around to make her pay up. "If those ******** can hear me," Stae said, clenching her eyes shut and doing her best not to just start giving birth right there in the car, "Tell them I'm making sushi out of them when this is over." "Message recieved" Wasa managed to reply as she fishtailed into the hospital parking lot. She did not mention, of course, that their response had been heckling. She slammed the brake hard just as she jerked up the emergency lever, causing the car to come to a loud, grinding, and odorous halt. "We're here... and alive." Already attendants were filing in towards the car with a wheelchair. There must have been something about dramatic emergency room entrances that screamed "pregnant lady, ho!" "I'm not handicapped, god damnit," Stae said as an attendant pulled open the car door and offered to help her out. She made it as far as setting a foot outside of the car before another contraction knotted her insides and made her decide that she was, in fact, completely handicapped. "Don't push yet, ma'am," the orderly instructed calmly, adjusting the wheelchair and wheeling Stae off across the parking lot once she had been settled in. "We need you to make it to-" "Oh shutup!" Stae said in aggravation, twisting around in the wheelchair as best she could to make sure that Wasa was still closeby. After all, when one was giving birth to an alien child, it tended to be somewhat unnerving. "Sir. I know she doesn't look it, but she's only a few months along..." Wasa shuffled along, trying to keep up the pace. The orderly shrugged. This was Gaia General, probably one of the few hospitals in existance that had an on staff shaman, zoologist, and astrologist. "Could be any number of factors. Anything in the family history?" 'Family History' had early on become the hospital's polite way of saying "Can we be expecting any weird s**t today?" "You could say that." Wasa confessed. "We'll get together the usual staff then. This way" He turned the chair down a hall towards the delivery rooms." The curls in Stae's hair had long since been flattened and frizzed with sweat, her thick bangs sticking to her forehead. Not one, but two - for the love of God, two - small, squidlike babies were wrapped in blankets and settled in her arms. Stae, of all people, looked proud as could be, while the doctor stared at both her and the two newborn boys with his head tilted to one side and a look of utter confusion plastered upon his face. What the hell were they? Stae couldn't have answered that question even if she'd wanted to. All she knew is that they were hers - at least fifty percent genetically - and they were ******** adorable. "What will their names be?" The nurse asked, her pen poised against a decorative birth certificate. "Er�" s**t. Even the voices in Wasa's head were stunned at the sight. Two? Two? We did not expect two. If they could round and face her, the most certainly would have.This is all your fault. Wasa leaned back in her chair, smirking at the small triumph at the end of what had been a very tiresome battle of namecalling and hair/fin pulling. " 'Spose it is." She turned her head towards the nurse and pursed her lips. "With our luck they're probably identical.... how can we name them if we can't tell them apart?" She pointed to the one on the right. "You... Stae. Name it..him... thing." Stae couldn't have told them apart if her life depended on it, with the exception of the slightly differently colored blankets in which they were wrapped. She stared down at one on the right, suddenly faced with one of the most important questions a woman would ever be faced with: What the hell to name your alien squid child? "Kirkii," she said suddenly, more or less just stringing syllables together into something that would be easy to scream later on. Wasa nodded and looked to the child on the right. "You." She pointed at his black, sparkle flecked eyes that blinked tiredly at the bright lights. "You are actually awake after all this which means you are going to be trouble. You are also be-tentacled, so I will name you Nautilus so the other children in school will tease you mercilessly. My vengeance is complete." "Vengeance on newborns?" Stae said with a laugh, holding Nautilus up slightly so that Wasa could hold him, "I think you might have some hidden anger issues, Wasabean." "I think we've both been pretty good sports through all this." She took the boy into arms and held him against her chest. The small tentacles poking out from his blanket flopped about uselessly. "I figure get it out of my system now while the trauma can't cause any permanent damage." She sighed and rocked back her chair. "Good work, Stae. Good work."
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Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 8:12 pm
Disclaimer: Sup, journal reading type folks! Wasa here resurrecting these little squidlings from the dark unmentionables of the internet. Surprisingly, a lot of continuity errors will be accounted for in the following posts, but there are some plot holes that simply can't be explained away. I figure we can all just play along because at the end of the day we are talking about the progeny of alien-parasite tentacle... well you know.
Here's a little summary of facts for those who don't want to visit my other journals or wade though my prose but want to know what went down between the last RP post in those soon to follow.
-Wasa and Stae took their babies home and lived in relative bliss until Wasa mentioned that the aliens in her head were of a world dominating variety and planned to use the squidlings to their diabolical ends.
-Stae took the babies and the rest of her brood and split.
-The Eels, weakened considerably by their continued failed attempts to liberate themselves from Wasa's head and continue their world pwning, realize their only chance to survive in any form is to assimilate with their host. Wasa and Eels become one, and Wasa goes snarking-loopy.
-Aki Ana finds Wasa in her altered-state and becomes her caretaker, repurchasing her old estate and moving the remaining residents of the Eye Street House to the Villa.
-The squidlings mysteriously appear back at the estate in a basket with no note, presumably because something about them annoyed/spooked Stae so much that world domination was a reasonable price to pay to be rid of them.
So there you have it. Now back to the usual shenanigans.
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Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:40 pm
Dear Diary:
I last saw you briefly while packing up my house. I stuffed you in a box along with a bunch of other books and macaroni pictures. Sorry about that, but we were in a hurry. You’ve sat beneath that pile of mildewing pasta until now, some time later, when I finally realized I couldn’t let these boxes just sit at the end of the hall, even if it is in a wing of the house we never use.
Things have changed a lot… but also have come full circle. I live with Aki (who you have never met) again, in my old house (where you have never been,) with two beautiful babies (which you should remember otherwise SHAME on you. They are why you exist and don’t you ever forget it.)
Before I get into abusing your pages once again with my thoughts and worries, I figure it would be polite to bring you up to speed with what all has gone on while you’ve been on vacation in box-fort Shangri-La.
Stae left. With good reason. In hindsight it was a bad move on the part of my former self to out my guests like that. I wasn’t supposed to know that their intentions towards Gaia were less than peaceful, but when aliens are wriggling though you gray matter you tend to overhear some things you probably shouldn’t. And when they mentioned the babies, how they planned to use them, I guess some where between maternal instinct and childish maliciousness I tattled on them to mom.
Through the anger echoing through my head at every moment, I missed her. And we all missed them. They were a chance for us to answer the two highest calls written into every genetic code. For me, the urge to breed, for them, the need to survive. When they disappeared, we felt the loss as one. It was the first emotion we shared.
We began to think more and more alike after that. I was sympathetic, and they had grown weak from fighting. Some creatures are only agreeable when dying, I guess. So there we were, parasite and host, barely benefiting from one another. It made it all easier to accept their one, final request.
I think it would be untrue to call it a sacrifice, what I did. I didn’t lose anything by becoming a single creature. My memories, my beliefs, nothing was pushed out of the way to make room for what they gave me. My priorities have skewed a bit, but anything could have done that if given the chance. And now that Nautilus and Kirkii are back in my life, I can share knowledge with them their fathers never would have been allowed to give. I regret I will never be able to explain what they are, or describe the world we come from, but I know that, just as their father’s wished, I can give them the ability to discover these things themselves.
Right, I’m not supposed to be talking about the future just yet. Back to what happened. After I ceased to be a host and became the being, there was a period of adjustment that could have gone smoother. Fortunately, my guardianship of Dawna became a favor in turn, and she saw us through long enough for my dear Aki to find us. She’s taken good care of me, helped me learn to focus once again. I don’t think I’d even have the clarity and patience to even sit down and write all this down if not for her. And my villa… it feels so good to be home. The old house I have rented to a nice, clean college boy who promised to keep it tidy until we have need of it again.
Now here’s the part that will be of most interest to you, my friend. A few short weeks ago, a basket appeared on my lawn just like those entirely unrealistic movie setups of old. Orestae always had a flair for classic dramatics. And inside, just a little pudgier and a little squirmier than when I saw them last, were our boys! Mother, not to be found, and me, now mother and father, ready to serve. It was a very touching moment and I’m sorry you weren’t around to hear about it but in my excitement I probably would have made a mess of the story anyway.
So now I have my family in a way I never had them before. They are mine, not because I chose to take responsibility for their conception, but because what made them now exists only in me. I look at them and can see a part of myself I am still trying to understand, and when they look at me they are connected to a part of themselves they can find nowhere else in the world.
The rest of the house… could be more enthusiastic. After the initial fussing and fawning the work of caring for two babies became the overwhelming reality. I don’t get why just about everyone I’ve ever met or read about says raising twins is twice as hard. Things get repetitive and I have to remind myself I don’t have OCD, but once you get into the swing of it it’s no big deal. When one is hungry, the other one will take his meal too. And when they eat at the same time, they make their messes at the same time. They play together, they tire together, really all we are talking about here is needing an extra pair of hands. Dawna says that’s probably why Stae left them, but something about the way she said it… I asked Aki if she agreed with Dawna, and she just gave me a little pat on the head.
Arun says they’re creepy… but what does he know, spending all his time clinging to ceilings.
Anywhoo. There you have it. Then to now. I’m going to get a little simple green and see if I can’t do something about that green fuzz on your cover, then I’ll keep you close by so we don’t have to do one of these long drawn out entries again.
It’s good to have you back.
Wasa.
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