Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
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You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.