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 Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:32 pm
Setsushi can't help letting out a burst of exasperation as he exclaims, "I don't know!" ... But a second later he seems to regret this harshness.
... What Setsushi means to say is that he is in less of a position to know what to do than Kouyo is -- Kouyo has the Name still, despite all his madness, while Setsushi has nothing but doctored historical records from an extremely suspicious place that claims to be the afterlife!
... But if Kouyo cannot pull himself together, or if he goes rushing off to stick his hand in a fire whenever he sets free, then Setsushi supposes he must exert control over him, to become an oppressive mother who ties her son's hands and pushes him down the path she wants.
Setsushi then leans his mind on Kouyo's, a little angry still, but strong and coherent, protective and not malicious; his huge body, surely massive enough to hold up the ceiling and walls, looms over him. "Look for her," he says firmly, "ask specific questions." The strategy Kouyo has been using and Setsushi has admittedly been enabling, of delaying and delaying, doesn't work -- so perhaps they should now attack the problem relentlessly.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:00 am
Kouyo begins to gradually calm down in Setsushi's shadow, but still has difficulty getting hold of himself. Part of him insists that he does want to be under Setsushi's control - Kouyo would happily play at being Setsushi's husband forever, as long as Setsushi will love him in return because Kouyo needs someone and his precious friend could do as he pleased with Kouyo; that way, Setsushi would never be alone, right? If Kouyo sticks his hand in a fire, right now, will Setsushi love him and control him forever?
Fractured as he is at the moment, Kouyo is unable to hide away the rush of inappropriate thoughts and desires for Setsushi with which he has been struggling for weeks.
"NO!" the priest shrieks, turning away from Setsushi and burying his face in his hands again. All of his affections for his wife, misdirected to the only person in all the planes Kouyo truly trusted. The Knight was correct: he must find Ranko. His madness will stop with her, or it will go on until it burns him completely inside.
"Setsushi, I am frightened," he murmurs finally, but remains turned away from him.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:10 am
These feelings from Kouyo -- as well as all the grasping of his legs and turning and twisting -- nearly result in Setsushi losing his balance and falling, but he barely manages to find his center again.
After a few moments of silent but frantic thinking behind his walls, Setsushi gradually extends his mind to Kouyo again. "Kouyo cannot hurt Setsushi that way," he says softly, because Setsushi would be easily able to clobber him -- even magical bindings would not work, as Tenkyuu also lives in their house, and she would discover and protect Setsushi as well.
So Setsushi is not in danger of that; what he is danger of is rather that Kouyo should continue to hurt himself or to put himself in horrible situations, causing Setsushi grief and worry. Setsushi begs Kouyo not to do so any more -- to stay safe and quiet, to protect himself as much as he can, to focus his concentration on concrete attempts at returning to Ranko.
And to do this, Setsushi thinks it would be a good idea to not associate with the people who draw him into pain and trouble. "Can you change your job?" he asks -- though the question is heavy, as if tinged with demand.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:31 am
"I know," Kouyo sighs, dragging himself to his feet very slowly. He knows that he could never hurt his friend in that fashion, but nonetheless, the priest gives off a feeling of shame for the thoughts he could not control.
As though he has mostly forgotten how to walk, Kouyo totters over to the kitchen corner and manages to catch himself on the edge of the counter. He shudders and gags, then vomits up all of the nasty sickly-sweet milk he drank into the sink. It had not even tasted like green tea on the way down. Kouyo coughs, heaves up the last of it, then manages to turn on the water faucet before collapsing onto the floor.
Shaking all over again from the effort of emptying his stomach, the High Priest wipes his mouth a little on the back of his hand and tells Setsushi that he will try to remain safe. But... will Setsushi not need help to support the priest still? Why has the Knight not asked for any of the money Kouyo has earned? He... he has been doing so little, even when he foolishly thought he could make himself into some sort of better High Priest overnight. All Kouyo has done is take from his friend.
If Kouyo swears he will be careful, can he finish cleaning his storage room? He is not sure he wants to leave the job unfinished. He is nearly done with the cleaning, and after that, he will just need to put the books onto the shelves, and Master Whitestone will pay him and the contract will end.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:44 am
Very unreactively pulling out a tin of ginger tea from his stash, Setsushi suggests Kouyo go sit under the shower to recover his strength.
Kouyo does not need to worry about money; compared to Setsushi, he consumes so little, it is practically painless for Setsushi to bring Kouyo into his budget. Of course it may be a good idea for Kouyo to continue to work somehow, but Setsushi objects to that particular location, as it seems to bring Kouyo further madness and misfortune.
And if Kouyo wishes to quietly finish his job according to the contract, Setsushi will not object -- so long as Kouyo is sure this contract does not involve any slavery or soul-stealing at its terminus, and that he does not take the excuse of a 'final visit' as an opportunity to involve himself in a last gesture of martyrdom.
Aside from that last cutting admonition, Setsushi seems to have become calm and logical again, his uncharacteristic frustrated anger seeming to have burned out as he steeps the tea for Kouyo's stomach.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:10 am
Kouyo moves away from the sink to get out of Setsushi's way, but cannot bring himself to look at his friend for now. He leans back against the cabinets, hugging his legs to his chest as he waits for the strength to return to his limbs enough to stand.
The priest closes his eyes, starting to cry again, but quietly, nothing like his hysteria from before.
"Thank you," Kouyo tells his friend softly, finally getting up after a few moments. He is both thankful and... more deeply sorry than he can express. He heads for the bathroom, looking thoroughly ashamed and defeated, but also perhaps more at ease than he has been in quite some time.
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