Trumpet Player Handshake:
Hi, My name is ________, and I'm better than you.
What's the difference between a sax and a lawn mower?
You can tune a lawn mower.
How do you know a percussionist is knocking at your door?
He's rushing.
A true gentleman knows how to play the sax, and chooses not to.
How do you tune 2 piccolo players?
shoot one.
12 days of bandcamp:
On the 12th day of Band Camp my true love gave to me:
Twelve clarinet hookers
Eleven percussionists with hidden agendas
Ten jazzy saxophones
Nine upbeat pep-songs
Eight happy flutes
Seven student leaders
Six crazy trumpets
Five Soloists
Four freshman trombones
Three giggling French Horns
Two gigantic Tubas
And a band director losing his cool
You know you're a bandgeek when:
the thought of changing someone's clothes isn't even remotely sexually stimulating.
your instrument has a name.
the bandroom extension number is programmed into your phone.
you know the pitch of your school bell [ours is just between a B natural and B flat...]
the line "this one time, at band camp" is responded with an angry look and "my band camp stories are true!"
your section has a saying. [Trumpets = Let me Telllll you!!!]
you get the marching band blues....
you fall on the practice field and your first concern is your horn... not your swelling ankle.
What do flute players use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Which kid on the playground is the child of a trombonist?
The one who can't use the slide and doesn't know how to swing.
How do you make trumpets stop playing?
Put music in front of them.
and last but not least....
Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they went around screaming "Bach Bach Bach"
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