Naiya felt the dust tickling her feet as she tiptoed in the half-dark attic. It was past midnight, and the moonlight lit up her eyes, as she gazed at it through the half-broken glass in the window in the room. She sighed as she bent down and saw the leather book, and picked it up, blowing off some dust from it. Looking sadly at it, she sat down on the dusty floor, not even caring about making her clothes dirty, and then pulled out a pencil from her pocket. She opened the book carefully and began to write on the old, yellowish pages, which smelled faintly of rose perfume:
Dear Diary,
Oh my god.
Oh-my-god.
Ohmigod.
Oh... my... god.
Whatever.
I've already spent 4 lines just repeating the same sentence. Anyhow, it's not like expressing my feelings will do any matter. This was so much more complicated than I thought it'd be.
What's Hiroshi going to say when he find out the truth? When didn't I think about that when I and Hito got this child and we attached this serum to it that makes it an anthro?
A phoenix, to be more exact.
I've always loved phoenixes. They're lovely birds, with eternal life, so they can always keep you company, unlike some pets. Too bad they're so rare. But now my child is a half-phoenix. And I should be all happy about it.
Yeah, I'm happy. I've always loved children. I mean, my and Hiroshi's daughter, Belinda, has practically been spoiled since she could start pointing at whatever she wanted. Not like we can afford everything, but we do our best to make her feel happy. Sometimes I feel irresponsible doing that, because it'd mean that someday when she can't get whatever she wants, she's going to be really depressive. And I don't want that to happen.
Just as depressive as Hiroshi will be when he finds out that he's not the father of the child I'm currently pregnant with.
Oh my god.
I just thought it so easy when I planned to break up with Hiroshi and get married with Hito instead with a completely new child. A completely new life. But how would abandoning Belinda and Hiroshi be? I didn't even think of that. I was just so... drunk. Drunk with romance. Hiroshi and I had argued and I met Hito when I was at Ian's, shopping for clothes in a desperate try to forget my tears. I mean, it all started out innocently. We bumped into each other and he saw my tears and tried to comfort me and everything. He was such a gentleman and I fell for it. He was charming, and he was comforting, unlike Hiroshi, whom I was mad with at the moment. We had argued about such a silly thing as how to place plates correctly so they dry in the shortest amount of time.
So Hito thought that Hiroshi was an idiot, because I described him like an idiot, of course because I was mad at him. Hiroshi is not an idiot, I can add. He's an extremely romantic and cute person, but he's so... busy. Busy with his job. He's so in love with maths that he makes me jealous sometimes. Unlike Hito. Hito doesn't even need to move to earn double Hiroshi's money, and he's all charming and romantic and handsome. Last time Hiroshi was romantic was before our marriage and before he got his precious job. We didn't even celebrate our wedding anniversary because he had to go to a MEETING at his job after school.
A meeting! And he couldn't even say no to that to spend our wedding anniversary together with me! And I even said no to Yume who offered me to come along on this shopping afternoon with her and Jhuidah. And I so totally love shopping. And coffee - she said we could go to this coffee shop later, and I was all, 'no, sorry, lil' sis, I've got my wedding anniversary'. And then my husband won't even show up because of a silly job meeting which he can ACTUALLY say no to.
Well, anyhow, I started to meet Hito more and more often because I and Hiroshi kept arguing all the time. Now, at the very least, I had somebody to run to when I felt depressive or angry. Yume is busy sometimes and she's always surrounded by her family, so it's hard to find the right moment to speak to her. Sometimes she's just too tired and can barely listen to what I've got to say.
But Hito was always ready. Always there for me. And he felt so comforting, so wonderful. Like some kind of secret diary that can actually talk with me instead of just being there in the right times so I can write my feelings in it.
And then we fell in love.
I knew it was so wrong. But I was filled with this romance, this overwhelming teenage romance I hadn't felt for years thanks to my completely maths-obsessed husband, and I felt guilty sometimes for betraying him. Or to be more exact, always. I kept feeling guilty when he kissed me. It felt like I wanted Hito to be in his place instead. And then it happened. I got pregnant.
With Hito's child. And thanks to the wonderful Farland Clinic, my baby is now a half-phoenix. Which I'm actually very excited about, but hello, I feel guilty about betraying my husband. I mean, Hiroshi's practically jumping up and down with excitement and he's romantic all the time now. I barely meet Hito. I don't know what to say to either of them. I want to break up with Hito now. Because I know that I love Hiroshi. I've always done so. I've just had this small period when I loved Hito the more. But now I know that Hiroshi is my true love.
God, what am I going to do?
Naiya
Dear Diary,
Oh my god.
Oh-my-god.
Ohmigod.
Oh... my... god.
Whatever.
I've already spent 4 lines just repeating the same sentence. Anyhow, it's not like expressing my feelings will do any matter. This was so much more complicated than I thought it'd be.
What's Hiroshi going to say when he find out the truth? When didn't I think about that when I and Hito got this child and we attached this serum to it that makes it an anthro?
A phoenix, to be more exact.
I've always loved phoenixes. They're lovely birds, with eternal life, so they can always keep you company, unlike some pets. Too bad they're so rare. But now my child is a half-phoenix. And I should be all happy about it.
Yeah, I'm happy. I've always loved children. I mean, my and Hiroshi's daughter, Belinda, has practically been spoiled since she could start pointing at whatever she wanted. Not like we can afford everything, but we do our best to make her feel happy. Sometimes I feel irresponsible doing that, because it'd mean that someday when she can't get whatever she wants, she's going to be really depressive. And I don't want that to happen.
Just as depressive as Hiroshi will be when he finds out that he's not the father of the child I'm currently pregnant with.
Oh my god.
I just thought it so easy when I planned to break up with Hiroshi and get married with Hito instead with a completely new child. A completely new life. But how would abandoning Belinda and Hiroshi be? I didn't even think of that. I was just so... drunk. Drunk with romance. Hiroshi and I had argued and I met Hito when I was at Ian's, shopping for clothes in a desperate try to forget my tears. I mean, it all started out innocently. We bumped into each other and he saw my tears and tried to comfort me and everything. He was such a gentleman and I fell for it. He was charming, and he was comforting, unlike Hiroshi, whom I was mad with at the moment. We had argued about such a silly thing as how to place plates correctly so they dry in the shortest amount of time.
So Hito thought that Hiroshi was an idiot, because I described him like an idiot, of course because I was mad at him. Hiroshi is not an idiot, I can add. He's an extremely romantic and cute person, but he's so... busy. Busy with his job. He's so in love with maths that he makes me jealous sometimes. Unlike Hito. Hito doesn't even need to move to earn double Hiroshi's money, and he's all charming and romantic and handsome. Last time Hiroshi was romantic was before our marriage and before he got his precious job. We didn't even celebrate our wedding anniversary because he had to go to a MEETING at his job after school.
A meeting! And he couldn't even say no to that to spend our wedding anniversary together with me! And I even said no to Yume who offered me to come along on this shopping afternoon with her and Jhuidah. And I so totally love shopping. And coffee - she said we could go to this coffee shop later, and I was all, 'no, sorry, lil' sis, I've got my wedding anniversary'. And then my husband won't even show up because of a silly job meeting which he can ACTUALLY say no to.
Well, anyhow, I started to meet Hito more and more often because I and Hiroshi kept arguing all the time. Now, at the very least, I had somebody to run to when I felt depressive or angry. Yume is busy sometimes and she's always surrounded by her family, so it's hard to find the right moment to speak to her. Sometimes she's just too tired and can barely listen to what I've got to say.
But Hito was always ready. Always there for me. And he felt so comforting, so wonderful. Like some kind of secret diary that can actually talk with me instead of just being there in the right times so I can write my feelings in it.
And then we fell in love.
I knew it was so wrong. But I was filled with this romance, this overwhelming teenage romance I hadn't felt for years thanks to my completely maths-obsessed husband, and I felt guilty sometimes for betraying him. Or to be more exact, always. I kept feeling guilty when he kissed me. It felt like I wanted Hito to be in his place instead. And then it happened. I got pregnant.
With Hito's child. And thanks to the wonderful Farland Clinic, my baby is now a half-phoenix. Which I'm actually very excited about, but hello, I feel guilty about betraying my husband. I mean, Hiroshi's practically jumping up and down with excitement and he's romantic all the time now. I barely meet Hito. I don't know what to say to either of them. I want to break up with Hito now. Because I know that I love Hiroshi. I've always done so. I've just had this small period when I loved Hito the more. But now I know that Hiroshi is my true love.
God, what am I going to do?
Naiya