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 Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:25 pm
The unkindest cut of all
Oliver Jones walked down the street, enjoying the crisp winter air. Things were going right for him, and soon Bunny would be at his house and everything would turn up roses. He grinned and held out the old book. It hadn't been worth five dollars in a corporeal sense, he was sure, but the role it would play tonight just might make it seem worth a whole lot more. He whistled cheerfully, tossing it into the air and catching it.
To be honest, the shop owner had been cute too. Maybe he'd come back for her after Bunny broke up with him, if a prettier girl didn't show up first. After all, he was a successful man, he could pick and choose. And the girl had seemed intimidated by him. That was cute.
But one conquest at a time. He went into a candle store, and would stop next at a flower store. The kind of soppy, romantic featherbrain Bunny was called for a soppy, romantic kind of evening. Maybe if he felt motivated enough, he'd actually look for romantic crap in the quarto thing.
The papercut still itched a little, but tonight was going to be a very good date indeed.
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Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:50 pm
Damn and blast!
Oliver had thrown the book against the wall when he got Bunny's text message, consisting of seven words if you counted 'r', which was really just a lonely letter. (srry met hotty, we r stil kewl?) Then he had gone off to play video games sulkily, ordering a pizza first and cracking open a bottle of beer. Or two. Or three.
The next thing he knew, it was morning, the TV still said 'GAME OVER' in blaring lights, and he had a headache bigger than Bunny's more attractive features. "Nnng." he said drowsily. Where was he? Furthermore, who was he? And why did his tongue feel furry? These were all very worrying questions pressing for dominance at the top of his mind. For now, he decided to ignore them all and take a bath. "'M takin' a bath." he announced to no one. "Funny gentleman speaks 'nnnnngh'," no one said soberly. He nodded at this and crawled up to the tub, splashing himself into the water as soon as it was warm. After an hour long soak he would be ready to face the day, the questions, and maybe be able to down some leftover pizza.
Half an hour earlier than he anticipated, he was thundering downstairs. "WHO SAID THAT?" he demanded to the air that had definitely spoken. A rustling came from the pizza box and he lifted it gingerly with his foot.
"Thy foodstuff is inedible." the rustling informed him.
"Oh HELL..." Oliver breathed. He didn't know who was responsible for this, but he was damn sure he wasn't going to be.
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