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WARNING: This post contains nudity. No real sex, but some mention of it. If you are easily offended, turn back now!


When Alden awoke that morning, he was looking forward to nothing in particular. This is not to say he wasn't looking forward to his day, but that he was looking forward to his day being unremarkable. He hated unusual occurrences. He hated surprises. He liked it when his day was positively uneventful, when he could wake up, put on a robe, feed the dog, grab his coffee, and read the newspaper.

The problem started when he went to get his newspaper and let Butch out for his morning business. Seattle Times, from his hometown, also the hometown of Starbucks and Seattle's Best Coffee. Seattle was awesome. Alden was thinking of moving back there, except here in the Triumvirate he didn't have to pay taxes or groceries or anything, and he was nothing if not a good, red-blooded, anti-give-up-any-money American. He had four hundred thousand dollars in his bank account and a few million in stocks. He was planning on waiting out the current economic crisis and seeing where he stood once the dust settled, but he still flipped open to the Economy section first thing in the morning.

Instead of his newspaper, he found a cabbage waiting for him on his front step. He did not actually know that was what it was until he touched it. It said "cabbage" plain as anything in his mind, with an additional descriptional marker. "Biotech modified." Oh, great. Butch sniffed the thing a few times and quickly ran past it to pee on the flowerbed and poop in the grass and chase the birds that tried to land on the lawn to eat the earthworms in the morning.

Alden had heard about these damn cabbages, of course, because Thane Magos across the street had got one and it popped out a lovely little girl named Katie. Plus, the project had been a source of Triumvirate news (what passed for Triumvirate news) for the first few months of its inception. Alden had rolled his eyes at all of it because he hated all that ridiculous stuff and preferred to pretend it did not exist. The only reason he had paid the news any attention whatsoever was that the name attached to the head of the project, Dr. Akari, was a freakishly gorgeous former model and prostitute he had once had a pretty good night of sex with. Until she found out he was married and left a heel impression in his kidney that took three biorepair treatments to completely erase. He might have avoided it if he'd known that was the reason she handcuffed him to the bed in the morning. He had expected some sort of a kinky follow-up to the evening's performance. Thank the nonexistent god the handcuffs had been designed for sex and had a release on them, though it had taken him fifteen minutes to trigger the release in that position.

This did not change his current situation in the slightest. Alden did the only thing he could do, which was kick the pot with his fuzzy-slippered foot, grab his newspaper, whistle for Butch, and retreat inside.

After his coffee, when he was awake a little more, he realized he did not want anyone to know about the thing and dragged it inside. Hopefully none of his neighbors had seen it. The fewer people knew about this, the better.

It was easy enough to look up Dr. Akari in the directory, write down the directions to the PietTech Biotechnology Research Laboratory, and throw on a set of casual clothes which would hopefully convey his ire through sloppy disrespect for authority. (One of these days, he would stop dressing like he was twenty. That day was not today.) He grabbed a travel mug of coffee on his way out. Butch whined like a baby, but Butch whined when Alden closed the bathroom door to take a shower. It was hardly something Alden worried about.

The critical thing, he decided on his walk over, was to get this situation dealt with quickly so he could move on to his day of things uneventful. He had figured out all his arguments and protests by the time he arrived at the door, coffee nearly gone.

He was brief with the receptionist. (Some poor lab intern forced to man the desk. She did not deserve his brisk, impolite treatment.) He asked to see Dr. Akari, she asked his name, he gave it, she called, and informed Alden the doctor was busy.

"Not good enough," said Alden. "Tell her to see me or I'm filing charges." A three year old assault with heeled shoe wasn't likely to go very far, but still.

The receptionist tried again. Whatever Akari wanted her to say to Alden she did not like, as she said into the comm, "I'd rather not." The girl jumped as the comm was abruptly terminated in her ear.

"Oh, so she'll see me then," smirked Alden. "Through this door?" There was only one door leading into the complex, it was a pretty good guess.

"You can't--"

Alden held his hand up to the keypad and closed his eyes. Name, name, name, enter, enter, enter, pass, pass, pass, through, through, through... There it was. The keycode. He punched it in. The lab intern turned receptionist thought about following him, decided this whole reception thing was really outside her job description anyway, and returned to texting on her cell phone. Security would deal with the man rather nicely if he was breaking the rules.

Which they did about ten feet down the hall. Two men, masked and armored, closed hands on his arms and stopped him in his tracks. He wasn't terribly upset by it. One, it was expected, and two, Dr. Akari was coming down the hallway towards him. "I have T-3 clearance and Triumvirate citizenship. Get your hands off me or I swear I will shove an imperator so far up your asses..." They were touching him, and their names came into his mind. "Rob. Marvin."

They released him. He wasn't sure what effect, if any, his words had actually had. There was still some coffee left. He downed the remainder of it as Akari strode the last few steps.

"So lovely to see you again," sneered Alden.

"I was just coming to show you out," she said, frigid, and for good measure, slapped him. There was some strength behind it and he rubbed his cheek. The security officers melted away. Personal matters did not concern them. "Did your wife not like the gift?"

"Wouldn't know. Haven't seen her. You waited three years to send her a symbol of my infidelity?"

"It seemed appropriate given that you have no children."

"Ooh, cold," said Alden. "But you missed her. She went back to Canada eight months ago. I can have that forwarded. I think she'd return it."

"A sensible woman."

Alden laughed. He actually laughed. His wife was many things, but he would never describe her as sensible. Emotional, irrational, harpyish, shrill, and unforgiving. Very female. "That's funny, very funny. Now get your damn goons to take your damn cabbage back."

"No."

She recalled that he was not as smart as he thought he was, or as rational. Or as funny.

Alden could, on occasion, be reasonable. He tried it now "This is a vengeance ploy, I get that, but if I remember correctly, this is also a person we're talking about here. Find someone else for your kiddy porn project."

Akari let him wait a moment, let him absorb her fine cheekbones and perfectly painted lips, the way she stood with her weight on one leg and the other extended and turned to better display the elegant shape and the four-inch open-toe black heels and painted toenails. He was a leg man, she knew. Feet, too. Skip the tits, skip the a**, straight to the legs. She was a bit lacking in tits and a**, but legs she had for miles.

Her tactics had not gone unnoticed. The way the muscles in his face and arms tensed, the way his pupils dilated, he wanted to pretend he was immune to it, but he wasn't. "Would you keep the cabbage if I had sex with you?"

It had crossed his mind on the way over. "I'm on top this time."

On the one hand, this was the point she had wanted to prove. To the letter. Men would do anything for sex she had said, and Jaden had told her to prove it, and here she was, cameras rolling. On the other, it was an occasion she would have liked to be wrong.

"Fine." She took him to her office.

To his credit, he was a better lover than he thought, so she accepted that as consolation while she removed her labcoat, unbuttoned her shirt, and shimmied out of her mini. Matching blue lace bra and panties. He wanted to take care of those, from behind no less, which impressed her given the bra latched in front. Men could find undergarments somewhat daunting, or worse, an occasion to remonstrate just how clumsy they were. Alden was neither daunted nor clumsy as he ran his hands across her body.

What happened next was pure malice on Alden's part. He spun her around, she thought as part of the game, but he slapped one end of a handcuff to her wrist and the other to a wall bracing. She wasn't surprised so much as bored by the tactic. Handcuffs were hardly the most creative accessory. Until he picked up her underwear, remarked "thanks for the souvenirs," and left with his travel mug.

Akari was stunned for a moment. She wriggled her hand. The handcuffs were real. Oh, that b*****d. Reaching across her desk with her foot, she hit the comm with her pedicured toe. "Kurata-san."

"Yes, Akari-sensei."

"Come to my office."

He did, because he worked for her and did most of the things she asked. When he found her all Kurata did was arch an eyebrow and close the door, which was the other reason she called. Kurata was nothing if not mature in his approach to life's little surprises. He crossed his arms.

"There is a cutter in the top drawer of the file cabinet," she said, but Kurata did not move. "Get it."

"I am thinking," he said. Akari sighed. Kurata was always thinking, his long pauses constantly annoying. Finally Kurata went and found the laser cutter in the drawer, under a pair of cuticle scissors, half a dozen nail filers, a wrench, and a vibrator.

"You know," said Kurata, climbing onto the table to reach the handcuffs, "there are easier ways to do this." Akari only snorted.

"I did not ask you for an opinion, Shuuichi-san."

"Since we are being informal, I feel I should tell you your life of vice is catching up to you. Don't move or you'll get burned." He carefully positioned the laser over the lock and angled it away from her arm. "Really, Akari-san?"

Akari sighed again. It was her own damn fault and she knew that. "I don't pay you to lecture me."

"PietTech signs those checks, not you."

Kurata was stubborn. There was a click as the laser severed the lock and the cuff opened. Akari grabbed Kurata's tie and pulled him down to her.

He was firm in his response. "Stop it."

"Prove me wrong."

"Yes, I think a harassment suit is just what's missing from your career right now. I'm working, and you should be, too."

Akari frowned and pushed him away, stooped to collect her clothes. Kurata straightened his tie. "You're not wearing underwear with a miniskirt?" he noted, also noticing she was missing a bra and beginning to understand what had happened. He would probably take the liberty of putting a DND on her door before anyone else found out about the miniskirt and missing undergarments combination.

"Shut up."

"Six o-clock, then?"

"Lunch."

"I intend on eating it. Six o'clock."

"Fine."

"In the meantime, may I suggest the top shelf of your cabinet?" And he left.

That "tomorrow" Alden was planning never came. He sat down to eat dinner (microwaved frozen entrée) and midway through Butch sat up under the table and barked.

Butch was a very well-trained dog. He rarely barked unless he was looking at a squirrel through a window, chasing a squirrel in the yard, or some other endeavor involving squirrels. Alden nudged Butch with his foot. "Knock it off."

But Butch barked again and jumped to his feet, running towards the door, barking the whole way. "Hey! Butch! Quiet! Butch, quiet!" Alden yelled, but Butch could not hear the commands over his own barking. He was a big dog. When he barked, things shook.

As Alden stood from the table he heard the scream, high-pitched and terrified. That drove him into action. He nearly tripped over his slippers as he ran to the door. "Butch! Manifest Nobel--" He hit the entryway before he finished the phrase, slamming into the wall and discovering the combination of Butch, barking and growling like a monster, and a little girl dressed in linen screaming in complete terror. Alden grabbed hold of Butch's collar. "Stop screaming! Butch! Down! No bark! Back down!" He had a dog treat in his pocket and quickly waved it under Butch's nose. Immediately the barking went away and disappeared into happy licking of Alden's hand. The little's girl's scream froze in her throat and tears rolled down her cheeks.

Alden was more concerned with Butch. "There you go, boy, that's it. No barking. Good boy. Good." He rubbed behind Butch's ears. The little girl's soft crying must have reached him then, because he looked over at her and said, "He's totally harmless, see? He won't bark at you again. He's a good boy." And he ruffled Butch's ears and crooned in the way dog lovers do with their "babies."

The girl looked all of about two. She was tiny, skinny, dark-haired and dark-eyed, wearing a short, collared linen dress and pieces of gold jewelry. She hiccupped and then said something, but it wasn't in English. Alden's eyebrows scrunched with incomprehension and she said something else, still not English.

Alden had a good grip of Butch's collar now, and while if Butch tried he would probably drag Alden across the room, Alden was confident he could hold Butch still for the moment. "Come here." He motioned the girl over. She did not move at first. He kept waving his hand, trying to sound nonthreatening. His voice was naturally somewhat calming anyway, a medium-low drone when he wasn't angry. "Come on, I've got the dog. Just come over here, that's it." Gradually her foot slid, then the other, and she approached.

Partly from training Butch, Alden had a good way with language barrier instructions. He kept his movement slow, his body language assertively confident but not a threat, and put his hand on her arm.

Her name was easiest to find, popping into his mind at contact, and when she spoke again this time he found the meaning to her words through their contact. ""

Unfortunately, the contact knowledge was one-way, so Alden could only reply to her in English. "My house." Giving her names was a little bit easier. He pointed to himself, then Butch, then at her, naming each. "Alden. Butch. Hatshepsut." He struggled a bit with the name, which he recognized from an ancient history course. Butch panted heavily and happily as he looked at the girl and Alden, wondering if they would now play a game.

""

Alden sighed. "Butch, kitchen. Kitchen." Alden released the dog. Butch whined but did as he was told and went to the kitchen. Hatshepsut shuddered as Butch passed. "Now, Hatshepsut, kitchen." He led the girl by the hand.

His dinner was still sitting on the table. Butch was in front of his own food bowl, his programmed kitchen place, waiting like a gentleman with tongue lolling. Alden put the little girl in another chair at the table and held his hand up. "Stay." He took a few steps back, repeated this, and waited. She stayed.

There were some fresh figs in the fridge. He filled a cup with water and found a leftover fast food straw in the silverware drawer. The little girl started to get up, but he raised his hand and said "stay" again and she stopped, asking him something he could not understand, frowning when he did not answer. He put the figs and water down in front of her. "Figs," he said, pointing. "Eat." He touched her on the shoulder.

"" She picked up a fig and bit into it anyway. ""

"Good," said Alden, sitting down to finish his own dinner. The girl said something. He reached over and touched her. "Repeat. Repeat."

"" He showed her how to use the straw and she was delighted, giggling.

Butch left his kitchen place and went back to Alden side, settling down with a huff of indignation for being made to wait in place so long for what seemed like no reason.

Given how late it was now, Alden realized he was stuck with the girl for the night. While he had done fine the first ten minutes, there were probably going to be a few things coming up soon he was not terribly experienced with. For starters, he didn't have any of the sorts of things you were supposed to have when dealing with small children, like child beds and diapers and food fit for toddlers. He scooped up the last bit of gravy from the microwave tray and sighed.

Returning to the laboratory complex, Alden felt like a criminal. He had to check and make sure the coast was clear. He hushed Hatshepsut, not because she was talking, but because he wanted to make sure she didn't start, and dashed to the Nursery entrance with her in tow. It was just like running spy missions all over again. Alden leaned against the wall and sighed. "I'm too old for this." Hatshepsut looked at him with a frown.

Entering into the waiting area, Alden expected to see some sort of adult in a position of authority, but what he got instead was a small boy. "Hi!"

"Uh, hi," said Alden.

"Hi!" said Hatshepsut, who was learning quickly.

Apparently, one greeting was all it took, and the boy hopped away from the chair where he had been reading and stood in front of them, craning his neck up to look at Alden. "Did you come to adopt someone?" The boy must have been about three, and scrawny, but he had a vocabulary on him. His enthusiasm was obvious.

"Er. . ."

"Would you like to adopt me?"

"Um. . ."

The boy looked at Hatshepsut. "Do you like books? The Sisters gave me some book to read and I've been reading them by myself but you can read them with me too. Unless you like books with pictures?" The stack of books next to the chair where the boy had been sitting looked like medical textbooks from the lab, not children's stories.

"She can't understand you," said Alden, tugging Hatshepsut a bit closer to him and away from the boy.

Alden had never seen someone look so crestfallen at that information. The little boy's eyes went all big and watery. "Why not?"

"She only speaks Egyptian. Listen, is there--"

"OH WOW can you teach me to speak Egyptian, too? Like how to say insect, and sky, and chair, and leg, and up, and floor, and window. . ." The boy began pointing at things in the room. ". . . and table, and ear, and green, and yellow, and feet--"

"KID!" barked Alden, and the boy stopped. "Is there like an adult here or something?"

"The Sisters are in the back taking care of the baby diapers but they said I could sit out here and say hello to people who entered." More like the Sisters probably put him out here so he would stop annoying them.

Alden sighed. "What's your name?" At the very least he could lodge a complaint about this annoyance.

A simple question, but it elicited a whole new line of inanity. "I don't know yet! The Sisters when I was born tried to give me a name, but I didn't like it, so they said I could pick one but I haven't found any I like yet. I was thinking about maybe 'Bacillus' because that's my favorite shape of bacteria but the Sisters said that wasn't a good name after I told them about some of the different kinds of bacteria. Maybe if I had some parents maybe they would help me find a name?"

"Hatshepsut," said Hatshepsut, pointing to herself.

Alden just sighed and put his hand on the boy's head. Name, name, name. "Spence. Spencer Reid. Your name is Spencer Reid."

The little boy's mouth fell open. Then he jumped up. "That's it! That's it! That's it! How did you know that?!?" He leapt onto Alden's leg and hugged.

"Hey-- you--"

Hatshepsut seemed to think this was a group activity and immediately grabbed hold of Alden's other leg.

"You have to tell me how you did that, I hafta know!" begged Spencer.

Alden was now thoroughly overwhelmed by this. "It's just-- I know a lot, that's all! It's a thing I do!"

"Can you teach me how to do that? I want to know everything you know!" Spencer buried his head against Alden's pants in happiness. This was the best moment of his life (so far).

"It doesn't work like that," Alden groaned, covering his face. He rubbed his eyes. It was too early in the morning for this.

It was then that Alden chanced to look out the window, towards the courtyard and the lab's entrance, and he saw a sight that put ice in his blood. Staring right at him through the window and walking towards the nursery was Dr. Akari, and she did not look happy. What was it she had done to that one guy? Oh, right. Poured sulfuric acid over his balls.

"s**t," yelled Alden. "Get off! Get off! Hatshepsut, DOWN!" He pried the kids from his legs and dashed to the door, throwing it open with such force it knocked the "Nursery" sign off.

There was Akari, halfway to the nursery now. Alden had only one advantage. She was wearing four-inch heels. Alden ran for the exit.

Of course, four-inch heels were nothing to Akari, who had walked in higher and done so professionally. The moment she gleaned Alden's intentions she started to run, too. She looked even angrier now that her prey was trying to escape.

Alden had one card still up his sleeve. "Manifest Omniel!" he shouted, and leaped into the air with arms outstretched.

It was a gamble. His Omniel wings weren't flight-worthy, but they weren't entirely useless where giant leaps were concerned, and in at least one occasion had saved Alden a broken leg.

Everything went momentarily white as the guardianship materialized around him, cloth forming and wings shaping. Then his vision returned and he was gliding, or nearly so, the exit before his hands, reaching towards freedom with the wind in his hair, speeding away from Akari-- and he was heading straight for the ground. He expected as much. More than fifteen feet of air at full speed was probably pushing it.

Right before the crash, Alden curled one of his wings around him and braced himself. He had never been particularly good at landings, even in airplanes, and in his many adventures at attempting landings had managed to break a leg, and arm, and twice a hand. Given he used those in his regular life, he much preferred to break:

CRACK went his wing, which was sort of flimsy and birdlike to begin with. Pain shop up the wing joint into his shoulder. "ARH-AHAHA!" he went, his agonized yell turning into triumphant laughter, whirling to point his finger at Akari. He never quite finished the move. Something slammed into him, jamming his broken wing and sending twice as much pain into his shoulder, and a moment more he was slammed again. Alden squealed in anguish.

"What are we doing out here why do you have wings now are we going somewhere?"

The barrage of questions were accompanied by Hatshepsut screaming tearfully in Egyptian as she hit Alden repeatedly, word meanings slipping through each time she made contact. "--------"

"Manifest Nobelium!" squeaked Alden, reaching around and grabbing his shoulder. The wings disappeared and Spencer, who had been standing on one, fell over in the burst of accompanying green light. Hatshepsut screeched and covered her eyes.

Akari had stopped at the gate. Alden finally managed to get his hand up. "One more step and I will wipe every ounce of scientific knowledge from your head, you understand me, Akari?" She frowned, glaring at him, but did not test the threat. Two security agents decloaked beside her.

"Is there a problem ma'am?" one asked.

"If he attempts to come back in," she said, "shoot him."

There was a pause, the only noise Hatshepsut crying. "Er, ma'am?"

"In the leg, Bryant," shot Akari, turning her glare on the agent. "I want him incapacitated."

"What? You can't--" Alden started to protest, but she could.

"I'll send the adoption papers to your house," she sneered, turning on her heel and marching back to the lab.

"Akari!" Alden yelled after her, getting up. "This isn't funny!" But when he took a step towards the gate, the agents cocked their weapons, which was even less funny. Alden inadvertently gulped, nearly choking on his own saliva in fear.

Hatshepsut was still crying. Alden looked at her. She was wailing, tears running down her face, looking completely miserable. Spencer was sitting on the ground behind her and he was crying, too, but for a different reason. He was staring at a skinned knee, sniffling quietly as tiny droplets of blood welled ******** it, go back to cloaking," Alden said to the guards, kicking the dirt. ******** it indeed. The guards recloaked, but they were still there, ready to carry out Akari's orders. Alden demanifested Nobelium and took Hatshepsut by the hand. "You can stop crying now. C'mon." She didn't stop, but she did quiet a little. He pulled her over to Spencer and crouched down. "Hey," he said to Spencer.

Spencer sniffled back, "Hey."

"Here, let me take a look at that." He lightly touched Spencer's knee around the wound area. "I don't think that's anything too bad, we'll just wash it off and put a bandage on it, okay?" Spencer nodded and Alden offered him a hand to help him up.

Hatshepsut finally got hold of herself and stopped crying. She immediately grabbed Alden's leg. "" she begged, grabbing on as tightly as she could. Alden sighed.

"C'mon, Hatshep, get off."

"Hatshepsut!" she corrected him.

"I'm not saying that all the time, it's too long. C'mon, let go just a bit." He managed to pry her off despite the language barrier. He cleared his throat. "Okay, now, I'm not saying this is permanent. But just for now, I'm taking you home with me."

Spencer's hopes rose and fell in rapid succession. "Is it... is it like a trial adoption?"

"Ah, yeah. It's a trial adoption."

Spencer flung his arms around Alden. "Oh thank you thank you! I promise I will be the absolute best ever! You won't regret this!"

Alden felt just a little pang of guilt. He was not looking forward to the day when he would have to break this kid's heart. Or Hatshepsut's, for that matter. He put one arm around Hatshepsut and one around Spencer and hoisted them both up at once with a groan. Hatshepsut squealed in delight. ""

"Are we going to go home now? Is your house a very big place? Do you have a yard? Do you have a lot of books? What about a swimming pool? Do I get my own room? In the nursery they don't give anyone their own rooms..."

"It's just a small house, there's no pool," sighed Alden. He was regretting this already.

"I don't understand," said Spencer, which was really his way of asking Alden for an explanation. "Why doesn't she talk like us?" Spencer looked at Hatshepsut curiously. Since she had no idea what he was talking about, she stuck her tongue out and make a rude noise at him.

Hatshepsut and Spencer were sitting at the kitchen table waiting for their lunches, which Alden was in the middle of making. In the interests of a somewhat quiet and controlled lunchtime, Butch was running around outside chasing butterflies in the front yard. "I don't know, Spence, I didn't write the rule book here."

"But I thought you know everything," Spencer whined.

Alden finished cutting the sandwiches into quarters, plated them with some grapes, and brought the plates to the table. "I told you, I don't know everything, I just know what things are when I touch them."

"But why?"

All Alden could do was sigh. There was no end to the questions! "I don't know. Here's your lunch."

"Thank you," said Spencer, but he was more than just a little disappointed that Alden did not know the answers to everything.

Alden put the other plate down in front of Hatshepsut. She reached for the sandwich, but he quickly pulled it away. "Uh uh! What do we say?"

Hatshepsut wrinkled her nose. "Thankyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"

"Okay, you're welcome!" exclaimed Alden, putting the plate back down. Hatshepsut grinned like a maniac and tore into her sandwich.

"Where's yours?" asked Spencer. Christ, the kid couldn't even eat without asking a question!

"I still have to make it," said Alden, moving back to the kitchen counter.

"Hatshep!" exclaimed Spencer, waving his hands at her and indicating she should put down the sandwich. "Stop eating!" Hatshepsut gave Spencer a dark look, in the middle of taking a huge bite out of second sandwich piece, and reluctantly put the remaining half back on her plate at his insistent hand gestures, chewing the gargantuan mouthful slowly.

"Why are you not eating?" said Alden, asking a question for a change instead of answering.

"The Sisters said if you're old enough to understand then you should wait for everyone to be served before you start eating."

"Oh, they did, did they? Well, you don't have to do that here."

"But it's polite," said Spence.

With his back to the children, they could not see Alden smile. "Well, okay then, just gimme a sec and I'll be right there and then we can all eat together." Spencer grinned at Hatshepsut. Together! He liked the sound of that.

Thane Magos noticed the children first out of Alden's neighbors, excepting Alex, whom Alden had told. Butch, Hatshepsut, and Spencer were running in the yard under Alden's slightly less-than-watchful eye and Thane appeared at the fence. "Good day, Alden!"

Alden looked up from the research he was reading, intending a cursory "good morning" in return, but what came out was, "Good-- s**t."

Immediately Spencer stopped running. "That's a bad word!" he exclaimed, Hatshepsut and Butch running past him in happy ignorance.

"Indeed it is," said Thane Magos.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Alden shouted from the porch. "It's-- Akari-- These aren't--"

"You shouldn't say bad words! If you have a bad word in your head then you should try and come up with other words instead!" exclaimed Spencer, trying to be helpful.

"OMG," said Alden, dropping the research into his lap and covering his face. It never ended with that kid! Any further protest was cut off when Butch bounded onto the porch, Hatshepsut in hot pursuit, and the two of them jumped onto Alden, sending the research folder flying and scattering papers everywhere.

"Oh dear," was all Thane said. He smiled in amusement.

"Off! Down!" Alden shouted at both girl and dog, arms flailing. Butch was easy enough send packing, but Hatshepsut had to be manually removed against her protests. Seeing as Alden was not interested in a hug, Butch went tearing off at full speed for a run around the house.

Thane Magos looked at Spencer. "And what's your name?"

"It's not good to give your name to strangers," said Spencer.

"So it isn't," agreed Thane. "My name is Thane Magos, and I live in the house across the street there." He pointed to it.

Now that they knew each other, Spencer said, "My name's Spencer Reid and I didn't know that was my name but Alden put his hand on my head and told me and he was right!"

"He often is," agreed Thane.

Asked Hatshepsut of Alden, tugging his pants leg, ""

"Huh? No." Alden was pretty sure Thane was immortal, or near enough to it for the distinction to be pointless.

"" she said.

Thane Magos did have a tendency to conceal himself under various wrappings and clothing. Alden ran a hand through his hair and tried to think of a way to explain this to Hatshepsut with her limited grasp of English. Nothing came to mind. With a sigh, he bent to pick up the scattered papers.

"No need!" called Thane Magos, and waved his hand. With a gust of air, the papers magically flew up, restacked themselves, and landed in Alden's hands. "I believe that's the correct order?"

For once, Spencer was struck (nearly) dumb with amazement. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT."

"Now show him your pointy hat trick," grumbled Alden, checking the page order, but it was not a joke Thane Magos was familiar with. (He had seen the Lord of the Rings movies, but did not frequent the Internet.) Hatshepsut clapped her hands in happy appreciation of the trick and exclaimed some babble that made sense only to her.

"I'm a mage," Thane Magos happily said to Spencer. "Spellcraft is my trade."

"Can you do anything else?"

Thane Magos whisked his hand through the air again and suddenly a shower of golden sparkles fell from the sky. The children were delighted. Spencer's eyes went wide and Hatshepsut ran into the sparkles and spun with her arms out wide. Alden only wrinkled his nose to pretend continued annoyance.

Butch came tearing around the corner of the house, his circuit complete, and immediately began barking and jumping and trying to catch the sparkles, which danced merrily in response and faded. With a sigh, Alden waited for the glittery lights to clear. Thane smiled at him, but Alden refused to give in to the childish urge.

Spencer was adamant: "How didju do that? How??"

"It is simply a matter of manipulating the lines of energy extant in the universe," said Thane Magos, which admittedly was not an explanation most children would get, but Spencer was not most children.

"Ooooh," went Spencer. He at least understood the vocabulary used, though not the full contextual meaning. Butch began to whine now that he realized the lights had disappeared. Spencer barely noticed."Did you learn that at school? Did you learn it in a book?"

Alden quietly sniped, "Would you read it in a nook," and rolled his eyes.

"BOOK!" Hatshepsut shouted, and ran into the house to fetch one to show everybody she had understood the word. Happy for any excuse to run, Butch chased after her. Now that she was no longer afraid of the big dog, Butch was turning into her biggest fan.

"Some of it I learned in books, yes," said Thane Magos, eyes following Hatshepsut until she disappeared inside, "but mostly I learned it from a great teacher, Gayle Thanatos. He was my creator." The words were spoken with the same cheerful tone as always, but there was just a hint of hesitation in the answer. No matter how many days went by, Thane still missed his father and mourned the loss.

"Can I read those books? Alden has some books in his house, but I finished reading them already."

Up until that point, Alden had been considering leaving the yard and allowing Spencer to annoy Thane Magos for a change, but Spencer's statement caught his attention. "You what?"

"All of them?" said Thane Magos, thinking this was just some childish misunderstanding.

Alden, who knew Spencer better, did not think it was an accidental assertion. He had seen Spencer reading several books since his arrival, never the same book twice. Apparently he had not been keeping a close enough eye on the boy. Every time he needed the children to be quiet while he was working he left them to their own devices without any clue what the two of them were doing. So long as they were quiet, that was enough. Spencer confirmed it:

"Uh huh. A lot were about crimes and stuff and there were some biographies, and encyclopedias of course." Spencer looked very serious as he recounted this information, making quite an attempt to seem grown-up. "A bunch of the biographies were about Sir Winston Churchill, who has the same name as me. Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill. He was born November 30th, 1874, in Oxfordshire--"

"Oxfordshire," Alden corrected the pronunciation, rubbing his eyes to ward off the beginning of a headache. "And please don't begin reciting his whole history." As much as Alden loved Churchill (his favorite person in history) he did not feel compelled to review Churchill's life right here in the yard. Not this early in the morning.

"But it's really interesting, when he was six--"

"Spencer, NO," said Alden.

"Perhaps you could tell me later, and I would be happy to lend you some of my books in return," Thane Magos said amicably.

Hatshepsut came running out of the house, and sure enough, she was carrying a book. The A encyclopedia, which looked about as big as she was. "Book!" she explained, and threw herself down on the still-dewy grass and opened the book up to the beginning. She pointed to the word. "Aaaardvaaaaark."

Spencer immediately crouched down next to her. "Yes! That's it! Can you read this word?" The pair of them set about sounding out words in the encyclopedia together.

"Nice, Hatshep," mumbled Alden, returning to Thane. "I can explain this." He indicated the children.

"No need," said Thane cheerily, tipping his hat. "Have a good day, Alden."

Alden stared after Thane. Apparently, people were just going to assume these kids were his, so he might as well get used to it.

If Thane had been at all worried that Katie, an only child, would want for friends, he would have found all those worries erased by the course of events. Between Ella and Nina down the street and Spencer and Hatshepsut across it, she had no shortage of interactions with children her own age, though it took some convincing to get Katie a playdate with Alden's pair. "I don't want to look after three kids, I don't even want to look after TWO," Alden had pointed out.

"Nonsense," said Thane, "I will be present as well." So Katie had her first playdate with Hatshepsut and Spencer.

They went through introductions and everyone said hello and then Spencer suggested the go look at his bug collection, which was comprised of dead bugs he found in the window screens and sometimes the yard. "This," he said, "is a bee."

"A bee," said Hatshepsut.

"A bee," echoed Katie.

"If you see one, don't touch it because it can sting you when it's alive."

"Sting, ouch!" explained Hatshepsut. Katie's eyes went wide.

Spencer continued, "This one's okay because it's dead but still don't touch it. Bees live around flowers a lot so be careful."

"Ahh," agreed Katie, studying the little dead bug intently.

Spencer was using a pin to move the bugs around in the little box he used for his collection. "This is a butterfly wing."

"Barfly!" exclaimed Katie, saddened. This was the wing, but where was the rest of the butterfly? And the poor thing was dead.

Hatshepsut noticed Katie's distress and patted Katie's arm. "It's okay," she said. She took off her big golden bangle bracelet and took Katie's hand, putting it on her. Spencer frowned. Jewelry was boring, bugs were interesting! And books!

"Want to go look at some books?"

Katie instantly brightened. Books! She liked those, too! They ran into the living room.

But the books Spencer were talking about had lots of writing and few pictures. Katie was confused. "Pictures?" she said, so Spencer showed her the encyclopedias, but there weren't any pictures of princesses and fairies or little boys and girls and their pets. There wasn't even any good story! "No, PICTURE books."

"But those are for babies!" whined Spencer. Hatshepsut stood quietly to the side and did not say that she thought Spencer's books were boring, too.

Katie sighed. "Crayons?" Hatshepsut and Spencer agreed that was a good idea, but Spencer was more than a little disappointed. He could not understand why the girls weren't interested in the same things he was. Maybe because they were girls. As he colored in a blue plaid vest on the boy in his picture, he wished there were some boys his age that lived on his street instead of girls.