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 Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 6:16 am
Has it always been so cold? I haven't been here long . . . but it has gotten so cold since I have stepped outside! Or is it just the shivery hearts of the current people I have met while my stay here? It was late into the night, a very long time after the sun was set and even the shadows themselves were blackened by the evening. I was returning to the maid quarters, hoping to not be caught by any wandering yokai. Those tricky things pop out of nowhere! I was quite lucky I wasn't caught by one and cursed for an entire lifetime!
As I ventured back (scared out of my wits, mind you), I was frightened by the sight of a white faced woman! I certainly thought the woman was a vengeful spirit, maybe that of a wife who died of a broken heart or drowned. I shrieked in horror of the sight but was amazed to see that the woman whom I thought was a spirit was actually a Shirabyoshi. She reminded me of mother . . . but mother could not match with the beauty of this woman. She was not the only woman I met while there. I met another who looked much younger than the Shirabyoshi but much more older than me. She had a wonderful kimono. I hate to say this, but I was a tad bit jealous.
My meeting with both of them was brief. But neither of them seemed to want or to enjoy my company. It was late at night so I guess that is probably why they did not want me around them. Both of them seemed annoyed. I am probably not the reason for their annoyance, but the atmosphere with both of them seemed to want place me for blame. Plus, the woman in blue seemed to see a vengeful spirit! She said there was one behind me. Maybe the spirit was only playing, but it ran away as soon as I wanted to see it. I wish I could have. Though I would have been utterly frightened if it were to have seen me.
After my meeting with those two, I went to bed and slept like a stuffed dog. Maybe all that excitement and chores the night before had tired me out, thus making for a good sleep. Throughout the day, all I thought about was mother. Oh, how I missed her . . . I do hope she is fine, as she is with the gods now. Father was such a kind man before mother died. He was always so angry after her funeral, lashing out at me who attempted to comfort him or just be by him. But why was he angry for? Was he angry at the gods . . . or me? Maybe that is the reason why I am here, training to be a Shirabyoshi. He saw mother in me and just wanted the image of her gone . . .
Well, I just hope father is fine. Even though he is alone now, I hope he is happy.
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Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:00 pm
Shirabyoshi come in many shapes and styles. Some are very elegant and kind while others use their beauty to mask away their true cold heart. I remembered one Shirabyoshi today who I thought was truly beautiful. Now, this woman's beauty did not compare to that of Miharu-sama, but she definitely had a beautiful soul. Lively, was she. Moreover, she was honest and knew how to fill a heart with contentment.
One day while exploring the gardens of the court, I realized I had no one to play with. Every other maid was either completing their chores for the day or off avoiding me (they have always treated me as someone forlorn and hopeless). I was admiring the many flowers that were within the garden and trying to converse with the fish. Neither of them wished to talked to me though. At that point, I truly felt hopeless! When I wailed out my pain through small tantrums, that is when I met her. She was truly beautiful, like every other Shirabyoshi I had laid eyes upon. She sported the typical Shirabyoshi hat upon her head, long flowing hair of ebony reaching her middle thigh tied neatly together with a pink bow and a fuchsia colored kimono with light brushes of the bow's pink here and there. There was a lovely fog-like pattern upon the bottom of her kimono. I admit, I wasn't jealous but . . . it was an interesting pattern nonetheless.
As I approached her, she noticed me and she immediately became ears. Well, she did not really become ears but . . . she listened to what I had to say with as much interest as a young child towards an exciting story. I complained about how I had no one to play or talk to and she responded that there are always those to play and listen with. I just have to find them. Honestly, I just found Shirabyoshi to be uninteresting women who perform for samurai and giggle behind their fans when they fancy a man. Akemi-sama has shown me that that it is certainly not true. Shirabyoshi are wise . . . one has to be patient enough to listen.
Mother was always a good listener when I was younger. She also used to tell me stories of her youth when she trained to become a Shirabyoshi. However, I was young and naive than -- I never understood what she was talking about. Now, I wonder if this is what mother felt like when she was to become a Shirabyoshi? Did she feel the bubbles when she thought about her future? Did she stare up at the stars in the night sky and wonder which ones were the souls of her loved ones? Did she daydream while doing chores to make the day go on faster? I miss her so much, my heart aches and my eyes well with sadness. Did she have to go through such hardships to reach where I am?
With this thought in mind, I might change my views on becoming a Shirabyoshi. Maybe . . . it won't be that bad. However, I still have such a long way to go. The weather has began to warm up too . . . has it already reached Spring? Next thing I know, the cicadas will come out soon to sing their song. I've such a long way to go before I can finally go to the academy and start my lessons.
Sigh, I do hope it does not take too long . . .
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Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 6:38 pm
Chores, chores and more chores! I am sick and tired of doing chores! When the sun peaks across the horizon until the moon claims reign over the sky, I am doing chores! Goodness, I hate it! I thought entering into the lines of being a Shirabyoshi was going to be exciting. Not filled with an endless amount of labor. I still wish I could be a samurai . . . It is a thought that will never become reality but . . . a young woman can dream, yes?
The wonderful slashing of a hero's katana to an opponent's katana. . . the fierce but elegant strike of hands to feet, feet to hands . . . the bulky armor used to protect them from all damage. That is what life should truly be like! Exciting! Wondrous! Utterly amazing! Here I am though, wallowing away by scrubbing at a bamboo floor and rinsing tea cups with water from the well. Where's the adventure? The excitement? Such things seem to not exist anymore . . . just lost particles and crumbs beat off the blankets by young maidens and thrown to the wind.
Speaking of samurai, I met another maid a small while ago but only have thought of her now. If I recall correctly (my mind has been wandering off to too many different places, like usual), her name was Atsuko. She too shared the same dream of becoming a samurai but was hindered by the fact she was a female. We met each other when we were both sent to clean the same tea room. It was probably a mistake made by the higher up that I got placed into a room with another maid. The higher up finds I talk too much when I suppose to be cleaning so nothing seems to get done. That is absurd! I do get things done! I just tend to . . . take me time rather than rush things . . . heh.
Anyway, Atsuko and I had a grand time talking to each other though it was quite short. However, the only thing I learned about her was that she wanted to be a samurai like me. I wish I could see her again . . . she was such a great person to talk too. We did talk about a lot of other things too; such as writing our names in the wonderful scripture of brush and ink. I even told her my secret way of remembering how to write my name. It so much as secretive now but I hope she doesn't tell anyone. They might steal the idea for themselves!
Since that day, I haven't look at myself for quite some time. The one day I did though, I noticed I have gotten somewhat taller. Honestly, a lot of the maids have gotten taller . . . Some of them have even disappeared completely. They have probably moved onto school . . . I still have a long ways to go until I go to school. The reminds me of the other day. Some maids were talking of a young woman in a pink kimono who had become a student. I don't know who she is but they say she was beautiful. I would love to talk to her one day . . . maybe she would like to become a samurai one day too.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 2:10 am
Yokai have a tendency of appearing in the most oddest of moments with even more odder reasons for their creation. Have you heard of the Amanojaku? It's quite an ugly little demon who looks as though someone has flattened his head by dropping a very heavy pot on it. They like to provoke a human's darkest desires and force them to commit wicked deeds. They are also known to be a "very perverse demon" for their actions. They would be very frightening if you are to ever make contact with one!
How about the Isonade? When I and father lived in the fishing village after mother's death, I swear upon my own grave that I saw one! When father was preparing to go out to sea to collect fish for dinner that night, something appeared far out on the sea's horizon. It looked like an enormous fish creature with a very, very large tail. It zoomed through the waves when I saw it and sped towards my father's boat when they finally set sail. However, a large gust of wind blew next and it dived away under my father's boat. I asked the oldest man in the village about it and he told me it was the Isonade. It probably wasn't being a threat to my father at all but trying to get him out to sea. When father returned, he had a boat full of fish. That night we ate like emperors . . . I had never been so full before.
I also tricked myself into believing I made contact with another yokai while heading towards the academy. Spring had finally showed itself -- the trees were finally brushed with green and flowers were beginning to bloom in the garden. Students from the academy were 'home' for the day as there was no lessons. Due to this, I suspected the academy to be without anyone and went on a yokai hunt.
While exploring through the many abandoned class rooms and hallways, I found myself walking down a lone corridor that seemed peculiar. I prayed to Gon-san (a kitsune that I made contact with once before) to grant me luck in finding a yokai and I guess he heard me as something quickly shot passed me and down the hallway. I have never seen a yokai move so fast before! Pulling a piece of a stripped branch from beneath my clothes (it was a good luck charm), I chased after the speeding yokai. The cat-to-dog chase did not occur long as the yokai shifted into another room.
Loudly, I entered into the room but was met with the eyes of Miharu-sama and another maid whom I did not know. How embarrassing! Miharu-sama asked what I was doing there and out of fright, I lied and said I came there to learn. Miharu-sama possibly knew I was just spinning tales, but she was kind. Though she did reiterate that the other maid was not a yokai, there was still one living at the academy. If I was lucky, maybe I would see it. Maybe!
After that moment, Miharu-sama thought I and the other maid in the ways of poetry and painting arts. I did not stay at the academy long; I had to return to the court and get more chores done. It is a pity I never learned that other maid's name either. She seemed quite interesting -- having short hair and all.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 3:22 pm
Men of the court, namely the samurai, can be very frightening at times when one sees, greets, or meets them for the first time. To me, this is quite natural though -- they have to be intimidating if they are to ever face an opponent. Showing fear means showing weakness . . . or something like that. Father mentioned that line once when I was younger. I never understood what it meant than but I sort of have an idea now.
Samurai and their ways will always be of great interest to me. Though do to the inevitable fact I can never become one due to my gender, I can always dream. There is so much to learn about them and so much time to do so, yet the opportunity to is always clouded away by chores and Shirabyoshi lessons. After a long while of completing such duties, I had a chance to learn more about the samurai and their ways. My adventure began with exploring the armory, where the samurai kept there weaponry. However, I did not know this. The armory is hardly ever open and when it is, it is locked from the inside preventing stray embodiments from finding their way in. Through my ignorance, I came to believe a yokai was locked away in there by the royal guards. So, of course, I was highly interesting in exploring its contents.
One day when the door was left open, I immediately found myself by it, contemplating if it would be wise to go exploring in the vast traces of a possibly dangerous area. When I heard a creak come from behind me though, I found myself racing into the room without much of a second thought. As I ran, I screamed that whatever demon lurking in the room would not blind me. But what I found was one hundred times more frightening than any demon . . . It was a man with a very stern air about him. He wished to know what I was doing here and from past experiences, I decided to come out with the truth. I told him I came because I was curious and he dismissed me at that excuse. I glad I wasn't in trouble but being left off the hook like so felt so odd. Maybe I was so used to getting in trouble and getting scolded that I was looking for a punishment? Such a funny girl I am . . .
When I turned to leave, I had second thoughts. The old man whom I dubbed "Taka-san" or "Hawk" due to his intimidating glare, was surely hiding something. I did not know what it was but I hoping to find out soon. When I sneaked behind him, something crashed in the distance and that set me off like a Chinese fire-flare. I guess I have a tendency of running whenever there is a loud sound, as I crashed right into Taka-san this time. Oh! I hate being so clumsy! But Taka-san dismissed my mistake again and reassured me it would be wise to run with my eyes open. Heh . . .
Taka-san went to go investigate the crash and that was my moment to escape the armory without anyone seeing me. I never found out Taka-san's name nor did I discover his secret or the source of the sound that caused him to leave. Sigh . . . it was my only source of excitement in so long and it was all done in a matter of minutes.
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