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 Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 4:21 pm
Reivena Quite honestly, once you get out of high school, nobody gives a damn about what your GPA was or your SAT or ACT scores. We actually have a card at Hallmark that says something to the effect of: Front: Reality Check #574 Inside: Nobody really cares what your GPA was. Makes me laugh every time I see it... neutral Lol! Yeah, you need the SAT I (sometimes II as well) and your GPA to get to college, but after that it is the college stuff that will count towards a job.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 6:14 am
The best thing you can do for yourself is to go ahead and do the things you know your parents want you to do.
Once you move out of their house you can do whatever you want on Friday, and you won't have to deal with any of the yelling. Honestly, once you leave home, as time goes by you will see less and less of your parents and you will have the advantage over them. One day they will call and ask you why you never visit anymore and you can say "I don't visit because I don't want you getting in my way by pressuring me" That will be the end.
Also, a lot of time, parent/child relationships change a lot after you move out. You might find that you get a lot closer to your parents after you don't have to deal with them every day.
Your father is doing the same thing that many parents do. They want you to succeed so much that they become overbearing and actually hinder the situation instead of help.
If you really want to work things out with your parents now, you can always tell them that you are getting depressed recently and that you would like to see a counsellor or therapist. Go to the therapist and communicate your feelings to him/her and then after a couple weeks or a month, ask if it is possible for a family session. Then you can confront your parents in a situation where they can't run away, or retort with something lame like "i'm the parent and I know better, so too bad" It will be a safe, monitored conversation.
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:58 am
Wir3dLain The best thing you can do for yourself is to go ahead and do the things you know your parents want you to do. Once you move out of their house you can do whatever you want on Friday, and you won't have to deal with any of the yelling. Honestly, once you leave home, as time goes by you will see less and less of your parents and you will have the advantage over them. One day they will call and ask you why you never visit anymore and you can say "I don't visit because I don't want you getting in my way by pressuring me" That will be the end. Also, a lot of time, parent/child relationships change a lot after you move out. You might find that you get a lot closer to your parents after you don't have to deal with them every day. Your father is doing the same thing that many parents do. They want you to succeed so much that they become overbearing and actually hinder the situation instead of help. If you really want to work things out with your parents now, you can always tell them that you are getting depressed recently and that you would like to see a counsellor or therapist. Go to the therapist and communicate your feelings to him/her and then after a couple weeks or a month, ask if it is possible for a family session. Then you can confront your parents in a situation where they can't run away, or retort with something lame like "i'm the parent and I know better, so too bad" It will be a safe, monitored conversation. With the amount of pressure they're putting on me now, I don't think I can wait that long. Take today, for example. I just saw my average for the semester, which I still have two weeks to pull up. It's not as bad as I thought- an 83. But my dad comes in and starts saying that all the effort I put in so far was just for show, which isn't true AT ALL. I've been working my a** off for algebra all semester, and I have an 83. I couldn't believe he said something like that. "All your efforts so far were just for show." I actually GET the math we're learning now, I mean, I'm still studying, but I'm just so upset right now, that all I've done so far they've discounted as crap.
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 7:33 pm
Wendy_Chan Wir3dLain The best thing you can do for yourself is to go ahead and do the things you know your parents want you to do. Once you move out of their house you can do whatever you want on Friday, and you won't have to deal with any of the yelling. Honestly, once you leave home, as time goes by you will see less and less of your parents and you will have the advantage over them. One day they will call and ask you why you never visit anymore and you can say "I don't visit because I don't want you getting in my way by pressuring me" That will be the end. Also, a lot of time, parent/child relationships change a lot after you move out. You might find that you get a lot closer to your parents after you don't have to deal with them every day. Your father is doing the same thing that many parents do. They want you to succeed so much that they become overbearing and actually hinder the situation instead of help. If you really want to work things out with your parents now, you can always tell them that you are getting depressed recently and that you would like to see a counsellor or therapist. Go to the therapist and communicate your feelings to him/her and then after a couple weeks or a month, ask if it is possible for a family session. Then you can confront your parents in a situation where they can't run away, or retort with something lame like "i'm the parent and I know better, so too bad" It will be a safe, monitored conversation. With the amount of pressure they're putting on me now, I don't think I can wait that long. Take today, for example. I just saw my average for the semester, which I still have two weeks to pull up. It's not as bad as I thought- an 83. But my dad comes in and starts saying that all the effort I put in so far was just for show, which isn't true AT ALL. I've been working my a** off for algebra all semester, and I have an 83. I couldn't believe he said something like that. "All your efforts so far were just for show." I actually GET the math we're learning now, I mean, I'm still studying, but I'm just so upset right now, that all I've done so far they've discounted as crap. I hate when parents do that! Arg! Sorry to hear that. But I think an 83 in math is cool, especially since it's algebra. And yeah, it is annoying, not to mention downright frustrating when all the effort you put into stuff gets belittled. In the end though, I guess you just have to look at it and remember that the grades are for you, and you alone.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 12:03 pm
Today I got completely bitched out by my mother.
Because I'm in biology, level 1, not Advanced Chemistry. stare
I took Earth Science last year, which is standard for freshmen. My eighth grade teacher said he didn't recommend the advanced science classes to anyone who wasn't interested in majoring in a science. I figured, since I wasn't, I wouldn't sign up for freshman biology.
She yelled at me for not having enough homework, because the kids of her other Chinese friends have more homework than me and that I was going to regret it later in life and basically become a failure.
I think they're going to kill me if they put any more pressure on me. stare
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:29 pm
Aww hun *huggles* You know that you are doing the right thing and that's what is important. Honestly very few universities look back at your grade 9 grades or classes at all. Keep trying hard and doing your best and that's all that important. It's not your fault that your parents can't see that. Even if you make some mistakes now, and everyone does, you will have a great happy life.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 4:44 pm
AraTeran Reivena Quite honestly, once you get out of high school, nobody gives a damn about what your GPA was or your SAT or ACT scores. We actually have a card at Hallmark that says something to the effect of: Front: Reality Check #574 Inside: Nobody really cares what your GPA was. Makes me laugh every time I see it... neutral Lol! Yeah, you need the SAT I (sometimes II as well) and your GPA to get to college, but after that it is the college stuff that will count towards a job. Not necessarily. I never took the SATs and my college was all over accepting me like I was hot s**t.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 5:44 pm
Chalda Aww hun *huggles* You know that you are doing the right thing and that's what is important. Honestly very few universities look back at your grade 9 grades or classes at all. Keep trying hard and doing your best and that's all that important. It's not your fault that your parents can't see that. Even if you make some mistakes now, and everyone does, you will have a great happy life. :B Thanks. ^^ *hugs back* They don't understand that one doesn't have to go to an Ivy League school to succeed later in life. xD;;
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:03 pm
He is totally living through you instead of leading his own life and leaving all his responability to do well on you. This is unfair and you should stand up to him. If you really want to fight back then ask him what did he get and if he did as much as you? Maybe that will put it striahgt g luck
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:55 pm
I wanted to say that I had a friend whose parents were the same way back in high school... what she went through was VERY similar to what you're describing. Her parents were both born in Korea, so their value of exceedingly high grades and a good education were VERY important to them (far more than any other parent I've met of friends I've had over the years - which I know is a cultural thing). All I can say is, for my friend, once she graduated high school things got a heck of a lot better, as she intentionally chose a college out of state so her parents couldn't keep tabs on her whenever they wanted. Once you're away from your parents too, I assure you that things will get a lot better. So long as you're a minor, and live under their roof, I'm not sure that's there's a whole lot you can do, besides talking to them... but once you're out on your own and away, you can even go so far as to get Caller ID on your phone, so YOU'RE the one choosing when to have the communication and arguments, NOT them. wink
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