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 Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:18 pm
Lai cocked his head as Einar suppressed his laughter. What was so funny? Sirens had pretty voices that attracted sailors and made them crash on the rocks before the sirens devoured them. Lai had only meant that Einar's singing was lovely and it had attracted the Russian over to the bench, which was ironically stone. He was sure Einar would not devour him, the man wasn't a cannibal.
"What? I would not mind. Sing if you want to, just because there is music playing does not mean I will crash. Besides, what reward? Sirens devoured the sailors and I am pretty sure you are not a cannibal." Lai's innocence came from the fact he was a great many years before Einar. The times had only so much information. Einar's would have so much more and more meanings for things. Lai was indeed old fashioned, but definitely not dumb.
As Einar stood up Lai for the first time realized that Einar was in fact slightly taller than himself. No more than an inch, but it was odd. The Russian had grown accustomed to men being slightly shorter or the same height as him and the only other man he could remember being taller than himself was his cousin Sasha, who resided in Tomsk. But it had been ages since he had seen the man-child of a relative.
Lai caught the momentary look of Einar. He couldn't quite put his finger on it as he gazed up at the Norwegian, but it sort of looked like uncertainty to him. As the grin appeared on Einar's face, though, Lai waved it off as nothing. Einar was an odd man, but human, and humans have weird moments where emotions look odd. He smiled.
"I do not need to be carried. My legs work fine, as you will see when we are walking to where I left my bicycle." He turned and pointed in the direction of the contraption, which lead under the weeping willows. He was about to tell Einar not to worry about scarring, because usual bicycle injuries were just scrapes, but as he turned Einar spoke his last sentence and threw Lai through a loop.
"My what?" His face, once turned back to Einar was plastered with a look of disbelief and stunned surprise. Did he hear what he thought he heard? Lai's beautiful face? He looked into Einar's eye and waited for confirmation.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:46 pm
"I said your face is different. Scars tend to not fade when left on the face, though on the hands or feet they heal and vanish quickly. Isn't that amazing?"
He attempted to chance the subject away from what he'd said as soon as he could, since he didn't want to have to explain himself properly. Shifting was always the easiest, yes indeed.
"So, shall we get moving to where your bicycle is? I think instead of riding it myself it might be more fun to watch you. You probably would enjoy that much more than getting up off the ground after I fall down and take you with me."
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:53 pm
"I think I heard that phrased differently, and my hearing is good." Lai was confused and wanted an explanation. He had heard Einar say the words 'your beautiful face' and now the Norwegian was shirking it off to the side and tossing in facts to try to lead Lai away. Not going to work.
"Explain yourself Einar." Was all Lai could say as he stood in the taller man's path with his arms crossed. "No moving until you repeat what you just said and why." The Russian had received a compliment and though he was partly happy to hear it, another part wished more to know why. Why had Einar said that to him? Lai barely knew anything about this man and vise-versa. Why was he all of a sudden calling his face 'beautiful'? And, for Lai, why was the Russian's heart beating like a fast hit drum?
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:17 pm
"It's possible that you're imagining things, and I'm not a history major so I don't remember what I've said."
Einar was not going to play this game...for much longer anyways, and he simply looked at the man eye to eyes. He wasn't sure if the Russian was older than him (he probably was) but he wasn't going to back down. He felt dumb for calling Lai beautiful and he didn't know why he'd done it in the first place. It was most likely a slip of the tongue, as how could Einar find another guy beautiful?
You only find people you like or love beautiful.
. . . .right? Crap.
"I don't have time to explain myself either, nor should I have a reason. I've said what I've said and if you heard it then you did and you know what it is. You should take the meaning for it yourself and add it up with everything else that has occurred and figure it out."
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:29 pm
"It does not take much to remember what one has said only a few moments before, nor a history degree from university." Lai did not like to challenge, he was going against his flow, and his tone sounded weary. He would hate to lose a friendship long before it was forged, but something in his gut wanted him to push on and get a straight answer out of the Norwegian. As Einar looked at him in the eyes, Lai looked right back, hoping there were some intensity in his that would cause the blond to spill what he was trying to hide.
Why would one man call another beautiful? It made no sense, unless one man was an art critic and the subject of the portrait was a man. That could be explained. But Lai was not an art critic nor a portrait and neither was Einar, so what reason did this man have to call the Russian's face 'beautiful'? Maybe a subconscious slip? It partly looked that way but Lai had been called 'pretty' and 'fair featured' before, though only by his aunt, mother, and his teasing cousin and then only on few occasions.
"Time? What time?" He held his arms out. "There is no time, no one has it anymore. And in its own way, we have all the time in the world! And if I knew what it was, I would not be standing in front of you, flustered and asking."
The meaning? Everything else? He speaks in riddles!
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:54 pm
If there was one fault Einar had, one fault that his mother always scolded him for, it was his his rash nature and unwillingness to think ahead of time before he did something he was sure to regret. this stemmed from a time when he was young and would do things 'for the fun of it' or 'for the reaction', and often whatever he did ended up ruining something or someone. It was a bad habit, one he was trying to break while being older, but there was no chance of that now.
Lai's little snippet of whatever he'd been saying passed deafly into Einar's ears as he moved closer to the Russian man suddenly grabbing the outstretched arms into his own. He was fairly strong, stronger than Lai it seemed if he took him by surprise, and Einar bent Lai's arms at the elbows as he raised them near his head. Without speaking much more he leaned in and pressed his lips to Lai's in the same manner he head when they parted only a while ago, though they stayed there for a moment longer.
Smooth move Einar. Smooth move.
When he broke apart he didn't release Lai's hands, for fear the Russian may just haul off and cold c**k him one in the jaw, but he hoped he wouldn't have to talk much more than that...for now.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:12 pm
Though going against his own inner current and having his tone be weary sounding, Lai could continue but a little more if Einar decided to retaliate against his remarks. The remark about time would hold truth even if it was confusing. The Russian was right about that.
Lai only paused momentarily to breathe through his nose, still holding his arms out and with fire in his eyes. He would get his explanation, dammit, though he would hope not to destroy a friendship in the process. The Russian was not aware of Einar's movements until he was grabbed. Instinct made him start struggling but the Norwegian was stronger than he looked and had Lai's hands in his own. The words 'what the hell are you doing?' were on his tongue as Einar plunged his lips onto Lai's.
At that moment, the fire in Lai's eyes as well as the rest of him froze. The Russian was a deer in headlights, stuck and not moving, with muscles now feeling made of cement. When Einar drew back, Lai stayed motionless. Even if his hands were free he would not have moved. His face was now dark red again and he stared into Einar's eye, but was not really seeing anything. He started trembling involuntarily, but was not aware. His words were swallowed but were not choked on.
When Lai finally took a breath it came in and out strangled. His heart was pounding and he felt both hot and cold at the same time. His gut clenched and the pouting feeling behind his stomach was stunned as well. It seems he was way over his head now.
What...?
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:24 pm
If Lai could tell, Einar was in no better shape in terms of how he was fairing inside. His brain was waging war on itself with insults in multiple languages, not to mention his heart was now swimming in his stomach and his stomach was dancing the conga, and Einar could only dumbly stare back. His mother would not be proud of her son's rash nature (never mind the kiss to another guy...again), and he had to admit that he was a little ashamed as well. This day wasn't going like he planned, so he figured the best thing to do now...
"I'm sorry."
He let Lai's wrists go, only aware now how hard he must have been holding on to them, and he turned his back quickly so the Russian would not see the deep blush that had spread across his face. Despite how tough he acted, how mature he sometimes seemed, Einar was still only twenty-one and a wet foot in the ways of the heart.
"I'll never come before you again, okay?"
It probably was for the best now, to avoid Lai until something could come out of this that wasn't more awkwardness, and Einar waited for a moment before he swung his leg to move.
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Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:53 pm
Lai's eyes pinched shut as the apology graced his ears. The stunned, blank expression was gone as soon as he opened them, and the blue gray eyes darted about Einar's face wildly, taking the young man in, searching. His heart had leaped to his throat now and was pounding more and more fierce every passing second. His mind was far, very far from thinking about what his family would think, in fact, they were not even in the same mental galaxy.
With his heart now in his throat the words he wished to say, 'do not be', could not come out. He could hear the conflict in Einar's tone and something (the feeling in his belly?) made him want to reach over and pull Einar to him. What he would do then, Lai hadn't the foggiest, but he knew he wanted to tell the Norwegian it (whatever that was) would be okay.
As Einar let his wrists go, Lai could feel movement in his body again. Just a touch made him stop moving, turn to stone. What sort of creature was Einar? Intakes blood like a vampire, sings like a siren, and turns another to stone like a gorgon. Still, for now, that did not matter. The other had not been holding on hard, it was more like a few sharp squeezes, morse code of the heart of Einar that Lai was certain was waging war with itself like his own was doing.
At twenty-two Lai had never experienced love. If he had from his aunt, it had come too late for Lai to in actuality know what it was. He knew of family affections, but not love like that of his aunt and uncle or his cousin and his fiance. This lack of knowledge made him nervous around women who showed interest in him, and right now, shell shocked once again at Einar and his impromptu kissing. The butterflies, the sweating, the feelings of 'what is this?', all of them were there, but Lai had no idea what they entailed and how to react other than going into a complete shutdown. He was still looking into Einar's face and as the man turned away, Lai snapped back to reality.
Einar's words hit the heart like an arrow and made it sink back to its normal position, though did not stop the rapid fire beating for more than an instant. In his ribs a feeling of sorrow sprang up like a pot of water boiling over and it spread. His face was still flushed, his lips felt like pins and needles just below the skin, but his eyes welled up and spilled over. The trembling became full on shaking and his cement muscles melted to putty. The moment Einar swung his leg to leave Lai fell forward, wrapping his arms around the Norwegian's torso as he laid his head on the back of the others' neck and struggled to pull him back.
"Please....Do not leave me yet."
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 2:41 pm
If it wasn't for the fact that years of only having one eye had blessed Einar with learning how to balance himself properly in any situation he would have toppled over as soon as Lai latched onto him from behind, his torso swaying from the sudden extra weight and the shock.He turned his head quickly to look behind, his eyes finally falling down onto what he could see as the top of Lai's head thanks to the Russian's height and how he was holding on to him, and a look of shock more than anything was his registered expression.
Wha?!
Einar honestly thought Lai would have just left him alone, leaving him to walk away and avoid this man forever, so he was at a loss for what to do now that he'd been grabbed onto and even slightly pleaded with. This was certainly not according to his plan, a plan that he was making up as he went along naturally, and so Einar had to pull something out of the air quickly or else he would find himself with a complete brain freeze.
I...don't know what to do.
He could feels Lai's body heart against his back and something else too, something wet on his collar. Was the Russian man...crying? Or was he sweating really badly from all the nerves that were running though his body at a million miles an hour? If Lai was crying it only made things harder on Einar since he didn't know how to deal with crying people (other than to shoot them to make it stop), and he took a deep breath before he swallowed. Eianr had to think hard on what to say, what to do, as as all he could do was look over his shoulder at the top of Lai's head bent into his neck it was damn near impossible.
Einar didn't like being speechless, you know, as it meant he was weak willed or easily outdone in situations. It was practically admitting defeat to stay quiet like this, and for a moment he just let his mouth drop open and whatever words he wanted to say came spilling out.
"I'd rather be holding you as well, if it's all the same."
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 3:10 pm
Lai had no idea why he had fallen, but all he did know is that he did not want Einar to leave. The Russian kept his head bent so his eyes were just over the Norwegian's collar. He was still crying of course, but he made no sounds. His eyes were half closed, he was blinded by salt water and pressed against Einar, so he had nothing to really look at.
Holding onto Einar he had to wonder what was going through the other man's mind. Lai's was a torrential storm of emotion, with confusion being one of the greater ones. Why did he feel this way for a man he knew so little about? He knew nothing of Einar's time, past, likes/dislikes, hobbies, that sort of thing, so why was he beside himself and nearly dizzy with stress over this one man who he had only met twice, with once being forgotten? He shut his eyes and focused on the warmth of the man he held as well as the others' breathing. Being this close, he could hear how irregular it was. Questions flew through his mind and each one made the wave of tears from his eyes spill more. He was so focused he nearly jumped at Einar's voice.
At the statement, the Russian lifted his head, eyes still bleary. Lai's right arm released Einar's torso and went to his face so he could wipe his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. After he could see without a salty film the Russian leaned his head to the right and caught Einar's eye. He struggled to find his voice as he slowly took in the Norwegian's words, but his body spoke the words for him; he let his left arm fall away from the other man's chest and return to the side. Lai could only manage the smallest of smiles as his eyes welled up again and his sleeve was back to his eyes. If not for the yellowish cuff, the sleeve would match perfectly with his face.
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:19 pm
It seemed like whatever he said was the magical words to have Lai let him go, and as Einar felt the arms release him part of his brain sent a message to his legs telling him to run like the wind and never look back. He swayed for a moment, like he was going to obey a good suggestion for once in his life, but instead of doing the right thing he merely reached over and placed one of his hands on Lai's cheek near the bandage.
He didn't understand why this person seemed to need him so much, a need that outweighed two stolen kisses and a bit of harassment in terms of how he cleaned his wound. Sure Einar knew plenty of others ways on how to clean something, using his tongue was not the best option and certainly not the only one he'd had at the time (there was a water bottle hidden near the target), but even though he'd done such outlandish things this Russian man still seemed to want to be near him.
Is he gay or something?
Naturally that wasn't something Einar should think, since he was the one who did the kissing and everything else, but it seemed to oddly find its way into his head and into the foremost running of his thoughts. If that was the case he didn't have any problem with Lai since gays never really bothered him (though he only knew a handful to be honest), and if it wasn't the case then he was even more interested to know why this man was the way he was. Did he just feel possessive towards friends or something, and if that was the case did Einar fall under the category of friend?
Better not to dwell on it too much. Makes my head hurt.
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:42 pm
What is wrong with me? This behavior...Towards a man...Would be such taboo back in my time. Worthy of being killed over I think. Why...?
Lai only side glanced at Einar's hand but didn't move. Since that thought had popped in, Lai was questioning himself. What was he? What did he want from Einar? Why Einar at all? Back in his time, he would be married off and have children by now, but marriage and children had never appealed to him. Was it his childhood household that made him think that way? Signs pointed greatly to 'yes' on that.
Lai's eyes went to staring at a point at Einar's chest as he thought. After many moments they trailed up to the other man's face. Why did this man do those things to him? Was he...Prone more to men than to women? Lai did not mind if he was, it was Einar's heart after all, he could give it to whomever he pleases. Even before the time break Lai had been accepting of many things that were taboo or sacrilegious in his time. He felt fine and it made him a better person in his opinion.
As he locked eyes with Einar, there was a look of apology in Lai's eyes. Doing what he did, acting the way he was, traipsing in on Einar's privacy like he had done, Lai felt like he had just ruined this man's day, maybe even his life. Without a word he pulled away from the hand cupping his cheek and looked out towards the building.
"I...I should be the one apologizing. I come in here, get confused...So very confused...And I believe I have just ruined your day." Sleeve to his eyes again. "You must take me for something...I want to tell you that I do not know what I am. I...I have never had these feelings, they frighten me. I do not know you that well...I barely know you at all and yet these feelings only show up when you are around. I get so afraid yet...There is something here," He rested a hand on his stomach. "That tells me it is okay. And I..." Lai turned back to Einar. "And I just do not know what to make of them. Part of me wonders if you have the same feelings, but another part just tells me that I am fooling myself."
It hurts...Oh it hurts....
"...I do not know you that well..." He hung his head.
Please do not leave...I know you want to...I do not blame you...But please...
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:55 pm
"Do you believe that old saying that involves 'first sight'? One that's said to be older than dirt itself?"
Einar shifted on his feet to a more comfortable position, his ankles crossed and his arms folded over his chest. The way he stood made it almost look like he was leaning against something even though he was in the middle of the yard with nothing around, and as he spoke he felt a little stupid doing it to Lai's back. Still he didn't dare move from his spot since he wasn't sure he just wouldn't run away and pass this all off as remnants of something he ate that went bad.
"I'm not much of a believer in things like that."
His voice sounded a little flat and a little harsh, and he bit himself in the lip as a punishment for saying anything that would potentially hurt the man before him even more. A little bead of blood formed on his lips, one he quickly licked away and swallowed, so he tried to finish what he was saying now without possibly making the situation any worse...for Lai. Einar was fine with everything as it was, but he didn't want to have someone else suffer on his account.
"You said we have the same feelings, right? I may not believe in fate or chance or a series of luck, but I do...believe in wanting to try loving you."
There, he said it. Love, loving. A word no one can take back once forced past the lips.
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:20 pm
"'First sight' saying?" Lai looked back up then put his hand to his chin thinking. Then it came to him. "...Love at first sight." His voice was low, but not a whisper. He shook his head. "I do not know. I do not know what love is."
The tears had stopped flowing now, but the whites of his eyes were tinted pink from crying before. The inner edges of his eyes felt sore too, he had not cried in a great while. He watched in silence as Einar put himself into an odd position. What was he leaning on? The arms over the chest stance made Lai think Einar did not want to be touched. He stepped back from the man, respecting the space which he had just violated.
"How can I believe in something that I do not know?" His question was aimed at Einar, though Lai felt it somewhat rhetorical. The Norwegian did not have to answer if he did not want to. Lai winced at Einar's tone, not sure how the man had gone from full on blushing at him a while ago to sounding cold now. Lai decided to try and tread carefully, even with his nerves, heart, mind, everything all pulling in different directions.
"I said I wondered if we had the same feelings. I never said we had-" He stopped, the last part of Einar's words hitting him like a slap to the face. Lai looked into the Norwegian's eye with wide eyed surprise. His heart, beating fast went faster and Lai blushed again.
"You want to...try to..." He couldn't complete it, he was too dumbstruck, he felt dizzy. Lai looked into Einar's eye and looked for any sort of bluff or lie. If there was one, he did not find it.
To try loving me...
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