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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 3:58 am
Creativity
My lust for more creating grows and grows, Mom says I'm learning so many new words and I could be a writer like her if I get good enough... but that's not really what I want. I just want to create, I want to help and save I want to understand the world around me. It's such a big place and I feel like the kid in Mom's video game, I feel like Sora. One who knows nothing can understand nothing, but that's just a game. Mom get's offended because she says it's her favorite game and I shouldn't mock things I don't understand, then she gives me a hug and shoves me off to play with my siblings. You see though I'm all alone I wish I knew where Hikaro was... I haven't seen him in so long... he was so nice to me too. He could teach me things, he was like my big brother. I should find him...
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:04 pm
Dying
My will to live is dying. I'm rewriting my script, my life. I'm rewriting my destiny. I know what I'm supposed to do with my life and I know that what I'm doing is going against all I was believing but my purity has been demolished and my heart crumbled into pieces and the only one who I believe can help me is the golden Hououza that smells of sunlight: Hikaro. He... He'd die for me and that makes me believe in him. My childish heart and dreams have faded with the setting sun and with the dawning day, with Hikaro by my side, I'll do what I want, and I will still keep Bella at bay. She won't rule my heart!
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 6:31 pm
Inspiration
Mother found a new anime, and it really touched me... it reminded me of Hikaro. Hikaro will be staying by my side, he won't abandon me until this nightmare is over... but in this anime... there was a boy .... a bit older then me, in human years mother said he was 12. Anyway, this boy had kitty ears! I liked that. But this boys name was Ritsuka, and one day his brother Seimei was killed, the next week his brother's friend Soubi came to visit him. Soubi didn't have the ears, so he was an adult. He came to Ritsuka telling him Ritsuka was his sacrifice and that he loved him and would protect him no matter what. Later on you find out Soubi's 'real' name which is Beloved. Ritsuka's was 'Loveless', doomed to be without love forever. He didn't have control of his destiny but he tried to take hold and with Soubi's help he managed it... it reminded me so much of Hikaro and I that I was all the more inspired by it.
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Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:41 pm
Pheonix Soul
This entry is a short one, I'm in too much shock and a little dizzy but I think I should just point out that my last entry might've confused people... I'm not in love with Hikaro... he's my brother... like one anyway. Despite that ... he's done so much for me, just... just a bit ago... I became a phoenix, a real one... and my body turned stone-like. He ... He saved me.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:41 am
((The RP between Klonoa and Hikaro has gone nowhere, thus I cannot write an entry, forgive me and I'll edit this when the time comes.))
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:16 pm
The End
The battle is soon to begin... I wonder if perhaps I'm doing the right thing... I don't think I am... I don't believe I am... someone's going to die.. Mom is going to die... but I will stick with Hikaro... our lives.. the world... it all depends... on us.
((I thought it better to not edit but add.))
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:26 am
Love? Death?
Hikaro. Hikaro. Hikaro... not just... a big brother... hah... who was I kidding? Who was I ever kidding? A childish dream. To have a brother... a brother kind as him. No he's no brother of mine. He's my lover. Of course it was inevitable I'd find myself in love with him... but as soon as his love came to be realized in my violet eyes... Zan died before me. Her body lay in the pool of black blood and just like that... she was gone... forever. Where was she now he wondered? Was she safe? Would he ever see her again? All these questions overwhelmed me... and I clung to Hikaro... turns out he's loved me for a long time... perhaps since he met me... and he.. .like Riddle... had been holding back the love. It must hurt. To supress love. I wished I hadn't caused him that pain... this pain... he's got scars all over his body... poor Hikaro.. it's my fault... all my fault.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 7:47 am
International Gesture
Smile. He wants me to smile... I can't smile when I've hurt him so bad... is life really deemed to be this way for me? I love him.. I love a guy... and I'm a guy... It doesn't matter, it doesn't phase me... I love him with my whole heart and I hope he understands. I don't want to hurt him but look what I've done... look? The way he's ruffled my purple hair and that one time when he caressed my statuette face... his touch sends shivers down my body... and slowly I hope... he'll get better and when he does I can smile again... I promise to smile again... someday.
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Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 7:02 pm
Why won't he say it?
I love you. I love you. Oh god Hikaro do I love you.. why won't you say it to me? Why am I so scared to say it to you? To your passionate and golden form, to your strong features. I love everything about you, I want you to hold me tight and not let go. I want your lips to be placed on mine, I want to feel you against me. Why can't you do that for me? It's as if he doesn't realize I love him so much I could explode. It's so obvious... the longing on my face... the look in my eyes, I know it's there... sometimes his whispers will just send shivers all over my body and no one else gives me these feelings. I want to sit by him forever, to love him forever. Let people cry out blasphemy, let them say whatever they want about us being gay together. I just want him. I want him so badly it almost physically hurts me. Why can't he see? Why doesn't he see? I want those words to pass on his lips... I want him to say, 'I love you.' ...Hikaro... Hikaro... I love you so much Hikaro.
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:02 am
Our Love
Finally I heard the words spill from his lips... such pure bliss in those words... I may still be just a teen but still I know the meaning of love and I know with all my heart he is the one whom I love... he held me in his arms and it felt so right... it felt so good... I just want to be connected with him forever and I don't want anyone else to say different about it... we're together and we'll always be together...
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