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okay-It11:30 om here though, so I'll probably get it in later tonight

Your word is 'inflate.'

The Rant of the Shrink (God, I hate typing on laptops)

“A shrink!” My personal therapist gaped at me. “Is that all I am to you? I thought that we have something special! I mean, I’ve helped you through your belief in vampires, that time you wanted to be an astronaut; God, I even held you when you and that no-good hussy broke up! Andrew was the worst thing to possibly happen to you! He even called you a slut, when he was off with other guys behind your back! Remember when you broke your nose and you bawled your eyes out into my shoulder because you thought the new guy wouldn’t pay any attention to a bloke with a cast on his face. And look at you now! Married, and you’ve adopted a little boy, a decision I helped you make, if you can’t remember. I’ve helped you through so much s**t, and this is how you repay me? By calling me the shrink of a queer! And you’re not even gay-you’re bisexual. And-”

I cut her off with a kiss on the cheek. She never could take a joke. My sister can be so a**l sometimes.

- I had to read through it a few times slowly to picture what the shrink was saying and referring to. Had a little difficulty understanding what gender the shrink was talking to.


ah-okay. *sheepishly* Yeah-I sorta meant that to be confusing. Thanks for the advice.

lol-I've got a funny story for this one.

Also, after each story, including the first one, would you mind telling me what you thought, as well as anything that needs improving? Keeping in mind that they aren't edited and written in a rush, of course.

There's no real reason to rush. But yes, I'll go ahead and do that. I was going to in the first place, but wasn't sure if I should. I'll edit it into your story post.

Level 3 for zep - 'pineapple'. Must have 2 paragraphs.

Pineapple Cannibals-this is a joke I once heard, made into a short parody

Ziggy, Ringo and Roger, three brave, brawny explorers were annoyed. People always assumed that they were idiots, just because they acted like asses so often. They were smart! They meant to be on this island, with no food, ship, water, girls in bikinis…okay, so they made a minor mistake. That didn’t automatically make them ********, we’re idiots,” Roger groaned. The three of them were tied to a pole, with crazy looking men and women in denim circling them with spears. They were chattering on in French, and Ziggy, the only one of them who could speak French was relaying the horrible message of impending cannibalism to his friends. It exacerbated them, and they started fighting, to the point of annoying their captors. Finally they started screaming at the doomed explorers in French, a redhead coming forward with a sharp-looking knife. As the Roger started panicking and Ringo started in on his prayers, Ziggy started conversing with the pretty redhead, seeming to come to an ultimatum, shrinking the horror his friends felt.

“All we have to do is each bring back twenty of the same kind of fruit, and we get to go.” Ziggy grinned, the relief evident on his face.

“That’s it?” Ringo looked suspicious. “What’s the catch?”

“Well, she wouldn’t say, but hey, fruit? What’s the worst that can happen?”

-

If we get out of this alive, Ziggy is gonna be dead, thought Ringo. He had returned with 20 apples, and was cringing at the thought of what he had to. If he managed to shove all 20 apples up his rear end, without making any facial expression, he would be set free. Well, unfortunately for Ringo, he only managed to get one up, before he grimaced and, thus, was eaten.

Ziggy, a bit more fortunate in most areas of life, managed to bring back blueberries, and was on number nineteen, when he suddenly burst out laughing. Ringo, hoping that his friend would survive, groaned up in heaven. A few moments later, as Ziggy appeared next to him, Ringo gawked at his friend.

“Why? Just, why?”

Ziggy grinned sheepishly. “Well, I saw Roger coming with pineapples.”

- There seems to be a chunk missing where it explains that the reason they were to get fruits is because they had to put the fruit up their a**. Also the "if we get out of this alive, Ziggy is gunna be dead" just isn't right. But that is a good joke, I've heard it before.