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 Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:09 pm
It's rather strange, really. Mother has been scolding me (for not being as "ladylike" as she would like) for years now, but it's only recently that she's actually tried to do something about it. It was quite sudden too -- I mean, I certainly didn't expect her to sit me down one day and inform me that I was to train to become a Shirabyoshi and then I would finally ‘become a lady’. I don't think father expected it either as he looked just as surprised as I did.
I must admit that I...did not take the news very well. On the contrary, I became agitated and refused to take part in my mother's plans. I refused to sit and be pretty and polite and...and...whatever it is that I thought Shirabyoshi did at the time. More than that, it was the feeling that my mother was trying to mold me into someone that I wasn't that made me so upset. After some yelling (I’m ashamed now that I think back on how I acted), I stormed out of the room.
It was probably a fortunate thing that both of my brothers had been home, and had overheard my argument with mother. They sat me down and, after bribing me with some sweets, had me tell them what the argument had been about. When I had finished, they both told me that training to become a Shirabyoshi wasn’t a bad idea.
I swear, I almost threw the sweets at their head. I was hurt and baffled by their betrayal. Weren’t they supposed to be on my side, not mother’s? They had, after all, always encouraged me to be myself (though they did occasionally drop some not-so-subtle hints that I should stop borrowing their archery equipment and do something less dangerous).
I guess when they saw me draw my arm back, sweets in hand, they both backpedalled rapidly. ‘It’s not like that,’ Akio had said, looking terrified (was my facial expression really that frightening?), ‘It’s just that...we believe that you would honestly enjoy becoming a Shirabyoshi.’
I admit that I looked at them like they were crazy. I wondered why on earth would I want to sit around looking pretty, like a doll, and I asked my brothers so.
Apparently, they had informed me, I had an incorrect view on what a Shirabyoshi really was. They were not just women dressed up to look pretty. Not only were they educated, but they were dancers, artists, poets, and musicians.
Oh, by the way? They performed these traditional Japanese dances dressed as men.
...Ironic, isn’t it? I wonder if mother knew about that part.
I did like the idea though, now that I actually understood what Shirabyoshi did. They weren’t just woman with makeup and pretty clothes, but they were smart women. Talented women. Women that, honestly, I wouldn’t mind aspiring to be like.
I spent the rest of the evening (including dinner) prodding my brothers for more information. What would it take to become a Shirabyoshi? What kind of training would I have to do? Did they know anyone who was a Shirabyoshi? One had started as a maid? What were they like, and could I meet them?
Not only was mother pleased -- and smug -- about my sudden change in heart, but I myself was growing rather excited at the idea. Me, a Shirabyoshi? The more I learned about it, the more eager I was to begin. I was determined -- I would start as a maid, and then rise to the top.
And here I am.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:54 pm
I, um. I met a very...strange person today. When I first saw him, he was sitting on a stone in this lovely little garden. When I noticed the clothes he was wearing – they looked very expensive – I tried to leave quietly. The last thing I wanted to do was get on the bad side of a noble or something. Anyways, he looked very important.
Unfortunately, he saw me before I could leave and beckoned me over. It wasn’t as if I could just refuse, right? When I told him that I had duties to attend to (the truth, though I was nearly done), he told me that would excuse me from my duties.
I wasn’t even sure that a noble could have that kind of power and, well, the last thing I was wanted was for either of us to get into trouble. In the end, I decided to go along with it. This strange man then called me cute (a word that is usually not associated with me) and, as if it couldn’t get any weirder, he grabbed my hand and started leading me off somewhere.
I’ll admit that I was a little suspicious, and...and maybe even a little frightened. This noble man dismissed me from my duties, called me cute, and now he was leading me off to some unknown place. Possibly his quarters.
You know how those kind of situations usually turn out.
Fortunately for me, this wasn’t “usually”. It turned out all he really wanted me to do was try on a lovely kimono (and take a bath – it wasn’t my fault I had been working when I was pulled away!). I was also introduced to...uh. Mikado-san.
...
To be frank, I do not like him. He called me a creature! If he does not make an effort to be polite to me, I will treat him in the same respect. I got back at him by sticking out my tongue at him. Rude, I know, but the look on his face...!
...A-anyways, I did discover one very important fact that this noble failed to mention: he was the emperor.
...The emperor.
The emperor.
I didn’t even know what to do. Was I supposed to bow? Grovel at his feet? I never got a chance to though, as I was whisked away for a bath before I could fully process this new fact.
Somehow – I won’t go into the details, as even I myself do not know how it happened – I became the emperor’s “imouto-san”, and he was now my “onii-sama”. As I truly miss my two older brothers, I did not mind the idea of having an older brother figure around while they were absent. In fact, I was quite pleased with it, if not a little anxious. Most people would be if they had just met the emperor (and if he had just declared that you were now his younger sister). That being said, I found that he really is a kind – if not a rather eccentric – man. Though he is the emperor, he does not act as cold or callous as I would imagine an emperor to act.
Perhaps I should stop judging people before I meet them. First Shirabyoshi, and now the emperor.
Unfortunately, my “visit” was cut short, as it seemed that onii-sama (heehee) had duties to attend to. I do hope that I get to see him again.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:20 pm
Onii-sama had sent me this lovely lantern about a week after our initial meeting. The note...the note is rather embarrassing. What is that silly face that he has drawn, and...and why is there a heart?
However, this was the last time I heard from him. He hasn’t sent any other notes since, not even one to tell me that he’s, at least, still alive. I hate to admit it, but I am a little worried about him. Though he may not really be my biological brother, I do see him as an older brother figure, and I was flattered he wanted to treat me like a sibling. He was very kind to me, even allowing me to keep that expensive kimono I had on after my bath (it’s tucked safely away in my drawer). I was looking forward to the idea of being able to talk to someone about my day.
Perhaps that was me being foolish and wishful. He was the emperor, after all, and he obviously had more important duties to attend to – ones that didn’t include babysitting a little maid. I followed the little path to that garden, the one where I first met him in, quite often, but I never saw him.
I was finally allowed to see him today. While I was weeding in the garden, Mikado-san approached me and informed me that onii-sama wanted to see me. He wasn’t polite about it either, calling me “Nezumi-chan” and just being...rude overall. I just...ugh, I wish that man would stop trying to provoke me!
I was also a little jittery. This was the first time onii-sama had asked to see me since our first meeting and I was covered in dirt. Why, of all times, did it have to be when I was weeding? If I had known that I was going to meet with him today, I would have made the effort to work faster so that I had enough time to take a bath at least. It was too late for that though, and I had no choice but to follow.
As if Mikado wasn’t already in my bad books, instead of telling onii-sama that I was here, he said that there was a rat in the apartments! And onii-sama didn’t even look at me – he just told Mikado to get rid of the rat!
Arrrg, it just...it annoys me even now when I think back on it! Though...something did seem wrong. Onii-sama seemed very serious and lost in thought. I wonder what was the matter?
Either way, he must have heard me yell while I was being pulled away , because he finally recognized me.
Apparently he had been asking Mikado to fetch me for some time now, but from the looks of it, his attendant had “forgotten” to do it, or something of the sort, as I never received such a message.
Another strike against Mikado in my books.
I decided it would be best if I left and visited another time, as onii-sama didn’t seem entirely there. There was obviously something bothering him. Before I left, he allowed me to choose anything I wanted, though in the end, I left without taking anything. Frankly, all I wanted was to have a nice conversation with onii-sama. Maybe next time? I do hope he resolves whatever seems to be troubling him.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:58 pm
I am ashamed of myself.
Ashamed because I cried – because I finally let Mikado’s words get to me. I usually don’t, but I felt that...today, perhaps they held an inkling of truth.
I had been so pleased this afternoon. I managed to finish all of my duties quickly, and was left with some free time. I had just put on one of the lovely kimonos gifted to me by onii-sama and was heading down the path to visit when I ran into Mikado (oh, what fun).
As per usual, his greeting was less than friendly. But then...then he started accusing me of things. Things like I was taking advantage of onii-sama and his status of the emperor. That I was associating with him merely for the gifts that he gave me, which was ridiculous. I never asked for such things, but I only accepted them because it was the polite thing to do. I really did believe that onii-sama was spoiling me, but I never meant to make it seem like I was taking advantage of him.
And then Mikado told me that the empress would be displeased if she learned that I, a mere maid, was hanging around the emperor. He told me that I was trouble for the empress – and for onii-sama.
I...I don’t know what overcame me. One minute I was angry and ready to snap at Mikado, and the next, I crying. Oh no, I wasn’t crying hard – that wasn’t until after I burst into onii-sama’s room. Then I began sobbing.
H-how embarrassing.
I really was upset, though. For some reason, I had never considered that onii-sama might have become bored or bothered by my frequent visits. Yes, he had been the one to start this whole “siblings” thing, but what was to say that he hadn’t become bored by it? The thought scared me. Should I leave him alone now? But...I had grown quite fond of my big brother.
The idea that the empress would be upset also scared me. Would I, or onii-sama, get into trouble if she found out? From how Mikado voiced it, it sure sounded like she would be unhappy.
Onii-sama assured me that the empress wouldn’t mind, and that would be upset if I were to stop visiting. I was very relieved to hear this, though there was still the matter of rank. Onii-sama pointed out that, if I were to become a Shirabyoshi, no one would care if I associated with a noble.
I was determined before, but now I definitely intend on working my hardest! Someday I’ll be a amazing, graceful Shirabyoshi! I’m certain the path will be incredibly long and tedious, but now I have another reason to stick to this goal, don’t I? Eventually I’ll work hard enough to become a student, and then after that...
...Oh! I had better stop writing now and get some sleep, then! The last thing I need is to be tired when I wake up tomorrow morning, as I'll need all of my energy to do my chores!
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 7:25 pm
I am sad to admit that I have spent so much time with onii-sama, that I don’t have many friends my age here. That is, until today. I met a girl named Soya-chan when we ended up having to clean the same tea room together. Whether we were assigned together or it was a mistake, I do not know, though I am quite grateful either way.
She is a most polite and sweet girl, and I enjoyed chatting with her immensely while we worked. We chatted about little things, such as writing our names in kanji (she has a very creative way of remembering how to write the kanji for her last name! I wish I could do something similar with my name, but...) but the topic that seemed to appeal to us the most, was samurai.
You see, it seems that we both share an interest in samurai, and a wish that...well, we could become one. Ridiculous, perhaps, since we are both women, but there’s no harm in wishing, right? I mean, I’m perfectly content with aspiring to become a Shirabyoshi, but if I had to choose another path, it would be to become a samurai.
I’ve likely been influenced by my two older brothers, both of which are also aspiring samurai. The only difference between them and me is that they actually have a chance, which I will likely never have that chance. When you think about it...it’s not very fair, is it? Why can’t a woman become a samurai, or a man become a Shirabyoshi (would they have to wear woman’s clothing instead of men’s, I wonder? The thought makes me giggle)? Who is to say that a woman can’t wield a sword or fight as well as a man can?
...I...I wonder if onii-sama would allow me to own a sword. Probably not, as while I view this as unfair, he would likely see nothing wrong with it. In fact, he would probably just tell me that it would be dangerous for a “little girl”, such as myself, to wield something so pointy. I’m sure that he will tell me that there is a potential that I will somehow stab myself in the gut or...something to that extent. Either way, it won’t be pleasant.
But...nngh. Perhaps I am just too stubborn in my views. I am dedicated to becoming a Shirabyoshi, so I should stop thinking of all else but that. I have to focus! Though...though could a Shirabyoshi incorporate a sword into her dance routine, perhaps? It would be quite pretty...elegant even...
...These thoughts can wait until after I become a Shirabyoshi. There is no point in thinking about it now.
I realize that I haven’t seen Soya-chan since our first meeting, and it certainly is a pity. I sincerely hope that we cross paths again! It was fun talking to her, and a pleasant surprise to learn that someone shared the same thoughts of samurai as I do. Perhaps, during those days I finish my duties early, I should seek her out? Maybe I could help her out with her duties, and when we’re all finished, we can just relax and have a nice chat! It really would be nice to have her as my first real friend around here.
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