|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:58 am
{part 1 - in which Catherine wakes up to an unsettling dilemma}
Catherine was, at the best of times, drier than a stick in the Sahara desert. She had no time for frivolity, or whimsy, or any other ridiculous behavior. She was a scholar and deeply proud of it. So, for her to seemingly fall asleep in the library while researching classical mathematics for her thesis paper was so beyond out of character that if she herself knew what was happening, she would have shaken her head in disgust and resolved to pull a week's worth of all-nighters out of penance. But as it turned out, Catherine was apparently passed out.
And drooling on her notes.
The spirits in charge of assignments were either developing a sense of humor or got REALLY REALLY LUCKY with this new guardian to be. However, being what they were, they decided not to question if they had done this on purpose or not and decided to just get on with the bonding.
Same old move the body, put it on a bed in Feejhu's ship, send the soul to do bonding, leave a chain on the neck, etc. etc. thing they'd been doing for months-two years even! Honestly, they were getting bored with it enough to pick up the pace. The only thing that had changed was the ship, and that didn't require much getting used to.
So it was that a few moments later, Catherine woke up stretched out on a bed with a small silver chain around her neck and a small blue shell hanging from it-funny, it also didn't seem able to be REMOVED. And what was that strange six armed green teenager doing in a flour covered apron and reading a palm pilot even doing here?
Catherine awoke quite suddenly with an unattractive choking sort of snort, sitting straight up and blinking.
"Hhhh-what?"
She looked around, wiping the corner of her mouth self-consciously and adjusting her clothes. Gods, she hoped no one had spotted her dozing on the books. Rubbing her eyes, Catherine felt a slow chill run up and down her spine. She wasn't in the library. She was...well, she didn't quite know where. Looking around anxiously, she spotted the bizarre creature holding a palm pilot - really, get with the program, it was ALL about BlackBerries now - and immediately she went on the defensive.
"What is this?"
Feejhu blinked up at her. "What is what?"
"This," Catherine said firmly, waving a hand around. "I'll have you know I do NOT appreciate my studies being interrupted. Unless this is some sort of utterly preposterous dream. I will not be just, just shang-haied at your leisure. I DEMAND you return me home this instant."
Nodding decisively, Catherine winced as she felt something around her neck tug at her hair. She touched her throat and felt a foreign object there.
"A snail shell?"
"Shang-hai? Isn't that a movie with that cute blonde guy and the funny asian? I didn't get to see all of it." Feejhu commented. Someone had had it on last time she passed the window of a Blockbuster. "And it's not at my leisure. If it were, I'd be finished that new recipe I'm trying and cleaned up before you showed up.
Catherine bristled.
"You are not listening," she said crisply. "I want to be taken home. Immediately. If you do not comply with my wishes, I will inform the authorities and may have to fabricate a story of forced abduction."
Ah, abduction, now THAT was a term Feejhu was familiar with...and it kinda fit. "But...you WERE forcibly abducted. By aliens. Who want you to raise a god baby. And I can't help what you want. The ship will get to your home when it gets there."
"...I beg your pardon."
This whole situation was exactly the sort of thing Catherine had no time for. Ever. She marched over to the green creature, hands on hips, and proceeded to glare like an angry nun in Catholic school about to rap someone upside the knuckles with a ruler.
"You are talking utter, complete nonsense," she said matter-of-factly. "I am going to be leaving now. And I do not want this piece of grade school art class jewelry, so you can- nff- take it and- ghh, get off - and present it to your next - oh, bloody stars and bones, why won't this dratted thing come OFF!"
Catherine tugged at the snail shell necklace in growing alarm, wincing and grunting with excess effort.
Feejhu rolled her eyes. "Magic alien necklace. It's not coming off, lady, so quit trying. You'll only end up straining yourself with the effort." Honestly, some people were just so weird
Catherine only proceeded to try harder. She tried to lift it above her head, and found it wouldn't fit. She tried to unclasp it and discovered it was an unbroken chain. She tried to rip it off and unhappily came to the conclusion all she was succeeding in doing was raising welts and scrapes on her neck. She looked at the green creature with frustrated tears in her eyes.
"How DARE you!" she said. "I, I have a family back home! They'll think I've just run away and left my studies and my parents, what will THEY think?"
"I don't know. Nothing in your file says that your family is so strict they'd freak out about you being gone from the library for half an hour" Feejhu asked her, raising an eyebrow. Hysterical creature. Usually the guardians were a bit saner, but she hadn't had to deal with all of them. "And what do you mean how dare I? I didn't put that thing on you."
"You...you could have informed me this was only a short visit," Catherine snapped, collecting herself as best she could and wiping her nose on a monogrammed handkerchief. "I just...ugh! This is all a ridiculously stupid dream anyway, isn't it. I've been pushing myself too hard lately, that's all."
She sat back down on the bed, crossing her arms firmly over her chest and turning her head.
"In a moment I'm certain I'll wake up safe and sound in the library, and out of the childish fantasy."
"I thought I had previously established that. And honey, spending more than a few moments with you seems more like a nightmare than any strange dream I've had. I'll take riding in a car with a talking dog over you any day."
"What's a Freudian?" Feejhu blinked a few times. "Fine. Don't ask about the baby you're getting. Not my problem."
With a splutter, Cathering jumped off the bed again.
"BABY?!"
Catherine gave a half-hysterical laugh, rolling her eyes.
"Alright, you've had your fun," she said, pointing at the green creature accusingly. "I absolutely refuse to believe any of this."
"Go ahead and not believe it and in a week or so when you have a baby to deal with, I will laugh hysterically."
"You do that," Catherine said stubbornly, retaking her seat again, and tossing her hair. "We're finished here. You've had your sport, made me cry, and also delayed my studies which is SO utterly unforgivable I can't even begin to process it."
"Oh yes and you keeping me from finishing making my pizza and being able to invite my girlfriend over for dinner was SO totally cool in my book. b***h, you need to get over yourself." Feejhu rolled her eyes and glared, all six of her arms taking positions on her hips.
Catherine refused to respond, arms crossed over her chest again. She hummed Beethoven's 9th to occupy herself, obstinately ignoring the green creature's presence.
Feejhu, in turn, went back to her pizza making. For some reason, the computer was having an awkward time locating where to put Catherine...that or the stupid thing had ALSO developed a sense of humor, which was possible since Kendra kept infiltrating it. So the woman was stuck waiting for quite a bit, with nothing but the sounds of Feejhu humming as she cooked.
After a quarter hour of waiting and humming Beethoven's 9th three times, Catherine finally relented.
"...I suppose I ought to apologize for my behavior," she said, so quietly it was almost inaudible.
Feejhu had her pizza in the oven and had also decided to apologize-she was normally quite an agreeable girl so that was all right. What she ended up going was cutting up a plate full of home grown golden apples-courtesy of a few life goddess powers-and was in the process of taking the plate in to offer some to the grumpy woman.
Catherine looked at the apples with grudging hunger - living off of caffinated energy drinks was only bearable for so long - and she gave an awkward nod.
"Please excuse me," she said rather stiffly. "I do not usually ...react... to sudden surprises well."
"It's all right. I don't usually get guardians who act in a reasonable manner to being suddenly told they'll be caring for a reborn god baby-and given the situation, your reaction was reasonable."
"Yes, well," Catherine said. She lapsed into uncomfortable silence, fiddling with the snail shell. "...will it...be a boy or a...girl?"
"No idea. I'm not familiar with the deity mentioned in the file so I couldn't really tell you. There was a book that would show us but I don't have access to that. I could take a wild guess that it's probably female though. The race mentioned was Whyshon and a deity of sloth would only come from the females of the race."
"I see."
Catherine tried to process the tidbit of information she'd just been given. A god. Of sloth.
Well, that was just the fly in the icing of the wedding cake, wasn't it.
"Could be worse really." Feejhu said with a shrug.
"I suppose it could," Catherine sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I suppose it really, really could."
"Well, on a somewhat better note, the kid wont' have powers for a few weeks yet-and by the time it does have those powers, it'll be a child or a preteen already so you won't have to worry as much about it being irresponsible with them."
"Silver lining? I really need to research more human expressions."
Choking back a snort of reflexive derision at the word 'magic', Cathering finished off her apple.
"Quite good," she said. "After a week of coffee and Red Bull cocktails it's quite refreshing for something healthy."
"Well yes, I'd consider them healthy all right. That's part of their magic." Feejhu said, picking a full golden apple-they were now visibly GOLD-from a tree nearby. "And they're less inconvenient when they aren't growing from your hands."
Catherine rubbed at her temples, trying to dispel an incoming headache. This was just too much to absorb at once. Truly.
"...I'm in the garden of the Hesperides..."
"I don't know who Hesperides is, but they can get their own garden. These are my trees. I was stuck growing them, they're mine."
Not bothering to elaborate, Catherine gave a weary nod.
"Yes, well," she said absently. She played with the snail shell almost unconsciously, running her fingers over the glossy smooth surface. Already, she found she didn't mind its presence - even if it WAS completely non-removable.
Suddenly the computer blinked. It seemed to have finished playing with them so Feejhu directed Catherine to a strange plate thing, which she was to stand on and close her eyes. When they were reopened, she was back in the library, though fully awake and with the necklace as proof of her adventures.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:24 pm
{part 2 - in which Catherine confides in a friend}
"So it wasn't a dream, huh?"
Catherine sipped at her ginseng tea in a huff, tugging and toying with the snail shell stubbornly hanging around her neck.
"Clearly not," she said. Her friend Janice snorted, leaning across the little cafe table to get a better look.
"It's pretty," she said, nodding her approval. At Catherine's scandalized glare, she shrugged. "Cath, c'mon. Sometimes weird stuff happens. You live in a really, really weird place. It was bound to happen to you eventually."
Slurping at her tea in a most unladylike way, Catherine gave a hearty sniff.
"I'm glad you're taking this so well," she said. "You can certainly be calm and collected for the both of us. I'm just going to be saddled with a child in the upcoming weeks, nothing at all major."
Janice waited patiently until Catherine finished blustering, sipping at her hot cocoa sagely.
"I'll babysit, if you need me to," she said, patting Catherine's shoulder with a laugh. Catherine gave a huff and said nothing, looking the other way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:22 pm
{part 3 -in which Catherine has a peculiar dream}
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
