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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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 Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 2:33 am
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Posted: Sun Oct 19, 2008 2:40 am
Dancing in The Darkness:
RP with Shana
(who is owned by GunSniper) This RP takes place on AIM
He grinned, fangs glittering brighter then they had before. "If the dance is your game..." Joachim spun her around, "then the night is mine." A low dip followed the movement. Gradually he changed his temp and rythm. "A tango will suffice I think." The woods seemed to echo his choice, the wind speeding by, the leaving shacking and rattling faster and they did. "The thing is..." he began to quicken, "can you keep up?"
Shana let another giggle slip by as she caught sight of his shiny teeth. It was too amusing for her to hold back.
"Oh, Waltz and tango, they both are ones I can do most well." She easily and gracefully changed the speed and rythem to match his.
"You are lucky you lead." She chuckled. "I can only go as fact as you."
She was either kind, or innocent. He hoped it was the former. "Truely? I think I am luck that I have such a skiller partner! So often, rouges have no skill, and just suffle their feat. You my dear..." He pulled her close, not out of intimacy, but the dance itself, "are a true courtisan." He steped back and began the solo portion of the dance. "One that would be fit for the very courts a Avalon itself."
Shana was both kind and innocent. Taking up on his playful, or so she thought, question on keeping up. His words were quite flattering, but again she figured it was all part of the game. He was an expert at this game as she was it seemed.
And with him stepping back she did the same to twirl to the end of the dance, finishing with an unimaginable accuracy.
"Avalon? Is that your home?" she asked while still in the finishing stance.
He almost tripped. but, years of practice made him land his final step perfectly. "i would think it to be your home. Avalon is the white court, the courth of Oberon, king of the fey. Slyphs are known to a lesser fey, yet they still occupy the white court. Do you mean to say you are exiled..or have you simply never been?"
She relaxed from the stance and begun to think about her past. There was a certain point where everything was hazy. As if there was a wall in her mind set up and would not be broken.
"I..." Shana placed a finger on her lip as she tried to recall anything again. Than removed it before speaking again. "Can't remember that name. So, I have never been."
Was the inaccurate conclusion she came to after a failed memory attempt.
Joschim's eyes narrowed. "I see. Tell me..." a few steps closed the space between them. "In your mind, can you not recall, or, do you sense that your aren't allowed to recall? If that is the case you could have a glamor on you." Joachim didn't sense any fey magic when he was near Shana. "Are youy sure? I have never met a fey that did npot reside in Avalon." Well, except for Rutger, but, he was an odd one anyway.
"No allowed? " She shook her head. It was like a wall in her memory, but nothing as a force driving her from that memory.
"No, just don't know it." She spoke and looked at Joachim as if she had done something wrong. It felt like it the way questioned her. If Fey were supposed to know this place, why didn't she?
He didn't really know what to say to that. For a member of the slyph race to have neer been to their homeland..."Its alright then." The look on her face...Joachim sighed. He couldn't help but want to comfort her. "Their is nothing wrong with that. Perhaps your of a diffrent sect of Slyphs." Still..."Anyway, Its not like I can take you to the mounds." They would just drive him away...an maybe her as well...A frown covered his face.
Maybe that was true. Some other kind of race. But than she had no memory of what that could possibly lead to either.
"It's okay. Maybe I can't think of it for a good reason. Maybe it wasn't all that fun." Shana brought up the excuse so that the frustration of trying to dig up memories would go down.
"You, you dance well. Best one I have ever seen. It was very fun to dance with you." She added as an obvious subject change.
The trees and the wind had gone silent, while Joachim's face softened. He couldn't stay upset when she was so sweet. How could he? "It was a pleasure to dance with you Shana." He gave her a low bow. "Not once has anyone been able to match my skill or speed on the dance floor. Truely, you are a Goddess of the Dance." He took her hand in his and gave it a small kiss. "Would you care to walk through the woods?" He smiled, not showing his fangs this time. "It is a wondorus night."
Shana blushed a bit as he took her hand. Luckliy it was well hidden by the mask she wore.
He was rather good at this game!
"It is, night is always best." she declared with a nod.
"A walk is good after a good dance. I will join you." She giggled and moved eagerly around to his side.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:03 pm
A Falling star; falling alone
RP with Rutger (who is owned by Siddah, her posts are in dark red)
Feral Plains
No one would have accused Rutger of enjoying life to the fullest while he had been alive. Circumstance and indulgence had used heavy hands to mold him into a bitter shell of the man he had once been, he allowing himself to listen to the siren call of revenge. Some said that with death came great wisdom; he had witnessed no such transformation. Inside of him the feelings of betrayal and hatred still burned, leeching the happiness from his days and the comfort from his nights. Each waking hour felt nearly the same as before - only now, there was a terrible desperation that wove its way around his heart and clutched at it painfully.
This land was Ages, he was told. The beings here, spirits lost from their own times and places, had never heard of the land that he came from, much less the object of his lifelong vendetta. The only one that he had encountered who seemed to hail from a similar time, the insufferable Prince Innes, had insisted there was no such nation as Bern.
At least he had been useful. Another, Jihin, claimed to have been born anew in Ages, and from the girl spirit, Roen, he could gather little. Her personality was too fractured, her responses too erratic.
Regardless of their personal quirks, Rutger wasn't comfortable living in such close quarters with multiple beings. Even during his time in Roy's army, the most he'd been forced to tolerate was another person in his tent. As a general rule he disliked being around people, not because he disliked them, but for entirely selfish, infantile reasons.
Exhaling slowly, he narrowed his gaze, watching the grasses ripple before him under the faint light on the moon. While the others were tucked into their beds fast asleep, he had slipped out of the humble abode as he had taken to as of late. His nights were restless, and the last thing he wanted was to wake one of the other ghostlings with the sounds of his nightmares.
Stepping lightly around a rock, he glanced down at its shadow and slowly lowered himself, resting his back against its uneven surface. The Feral Plains, or so they were called, reminded him of his home. Though they were largely unpopulated, he couldn't help but remember better times, smiling faces, the feelings of warmth and love that had flowed easily in the land of his childhood. As easily as the plains brought him peace, however, they put a heavy weight over his heart.
Each face that he could remember in the middle of a smile, he could also recall frozen in death.
Bringing one tiny hand to his chest, he rubbed it over the fabric of his clothing a few times, used to the ache. The wind whistled softly, speaking a language he could no longer understand, reminding him of what he'd lost.
A sound to his right, however faint, alerted him that he was not alone. Stilling entirely, only his hair fluttering in the breeze, he demanded in a low, annoyed tone, "Who's there?"
Joachim did not have a fondness for the feral plains. They offered little protection from attackers, and little escape should he be hunted. Yet, with those flaws in mind, Joachim did enjoy the plains. Grass seemed to flow like water across the land, ever moving and changing. The sound of the same grass provided a melody that no instrument or place could duplicate. Plains, while not the safest place, where one of the few places Joachim could travel and go virtually unnoticed.
Tonight however, he had been noticed. At least, he had been heard. To Joachim that was rare. One of his gifts was the ability to not create any noise while moving, no matter what location. For any creature to be able to hear him? Rare indeed. The small wooden board had been slightly cracked, and Joachim's weight had finished breaking in in two. Another strange event.
The voice however, was not so strange. He knew Rutger's voice, and even if he didn't recognize the voice, the horn was a dead give away.
Grinning like a madman, Joachim knew that Rutger enjoyed his solitude, and Joachim enjoyed even more breaking that solitude.
"Well, thats no way to greet an old friend is it Uniboy?"
The voice was familiar, a rarity in Ages. He recognized it instantly as belonging to Joachim, that silver creature that seemed bent on socializing him despite his lack of interest and, at times, perhaps in spite of his blatant dislike of the interaction in general. Of all nights, in all places, he resented a disturbance here the most. He had come to this place to be alone with his memories and revisit his loved ones if at all possible. Most would have scoffed at the idea, but ever since his death, he had learned that the laws of nature were quite the opposite of what he had been led to believe in Elibe.
He'd always thought he would return to his Mother the Earth and be reborn as another one of her creatures. Now he knew a limbo existed, a place where souls were trapped and forced to undergo transformations. How long he was expected to be here he did not know, but it frustrated him. After all, he was apparently alone. Where was his mother? His father? All of the villagers?
Part of him already suspected the answer. This was a place for lost souls. Those who were not worthy of being reborn, or worse, those who had lost the ability; through his resent and need for vengeance, he had perhaps doomed himself to endless wandering of a world that reminded him of home but would never reach it. The worst kind of punishment, a divine act that could not be explained away with any knowledge he possessed.
Not bothering to rise, he turned his head slowly, eyes sharp, expression severe. Normally he would not have resented such an intrusion quite as much as he did at that moment.
"Here, there is no one I would claim as a friend." After a slight pause, his frown deepened. "Why do you not use my name?"
Joachim, who had always had an ability to read emotions, could tell Rutger was, at best, upset at Joachim intrusion. What he did not expect was the harshness of the reaction. A quick look into his mind however told Joachim all he wanted to know.
"You come to seek redemption, to seek forgiveness, to seek a place of belonging." Joachim spat onto the ground, his demeanor changing as fast as the wind. "Pathetic. Your so blind you cannot even tell what stand before you Uniboy."
He contemplated his chosen nickname. "And you'll be called Uniboy until you earn the RIGHT to go by your birth name."
Walking casually around Rutger in circle he knew that the spirit's limits would be tested.
"You claim you want forgiveness, yet, you don't look for it. You want revenge, but you don't ask. You claim you have no friends.." Joachim ran up right to Rutger's face, a blatant challenge. "But I know that you CARE. I can see what you hide, so don't try to say you don't feel for any one in Ages." Before Rutger could react Joachim jumped back, hoping not to begin a fight. "I'm a vampire Uniboy. You cannot hide anything from me." Joachim sent him a glare, much like the one he had been given moments ago.
Surprised by the sudden fervor of Joachim's reaction, Rutger's expression reflected as much, his eyebrows raising and his mouth slackening a bit. In general, others tended to avoid him for his brusque nature, and even while alive, few had challenged his reasons and his motivations. No matter how astute his observations might have been, however, Rutger wasn't willing to admit to it. Whatever his form reflected, at the core of things, he was still a human, and he retained his stubborn streak that had fueled him during his life.
Eyes following Joachim, though he didn't stand, he wondered at the aggressive posture. A lesser man, a more hotheaded man, would have leapt at the challenge in his posture and begun to brawl. Rutger was not that sort of man. Most would automatically assume he was as ruthless a killer as any, especially when they eyed the seductively curved blade he carried with him at all times, but he chose not to spill blood unless he deemed it necessary. He had vowed at the death of his clan that he would devote his skill and spirit to the punishment of Bern, and only strike down those who claimed allegiance to that horrible nation, or who attempted to take his life first.
Once, he had told a young woman that he only drew his blade to kill. That held true. He would not recklessly attack another, no matter how much they tried his temper or battered at the defenses he had built around his past.
"Who are you to judge the rights of a man?" Closing his eyes, images of his father's face flashed in his mind, unbidden. "You say that I cannot hide anything from you - why do you persist? You must see that your influence will change nothing. My mind and my heart follow the same path as the hand that guides my sword."
Exhaling, having not wanted to admit even that much, he pondered the other's words. Forgiveness? He had done no wrong, except be born with the dark features of a man of Bern, rather than the fair visage of a Sacaen. Redemption... here it was impossible. Just as he could not complete his revenge in a place where there was no Bern, he could neither be forgiven for the lives he had taken in his quest. And as for belonging...
A man with half of a heart, half of a soul, could belong no where, could he? The Silver Wolf had tried to warn him of that, and he knew that there was still time. Perhaps why he was in Ages was to learn how to be again, to forget the past, but he couldn't accept that. The wounds ran too deep, had forged scars on the heart that could be felt with each beat.
Opening his eyes again, something pained running behind them, he murmured, "You waste your time, Vampire."
Half way though Rutger's speech, Joachim was grinning ear to ear. And when he ended, Joachim broke out into a full body laugh. "The rights of MAN? If you have failed to so notice Uniboy, your no man, you've become no more than a monster. A creature that exists solely to kill and sate its need for blood and vengeance. You say I have no right to judge man?" Joachim remembered his own judgment long ago, and grinned at the thought of both his defeat, and salvation.
"I am a vampire, BOY. I exist to take the lives of man. To take the weak, and feed upon their blood for my life. I am natural selection at its finest."
Joachim stared long into Rutger's eyes.
"You have a full heart, a full soul, to think other wise is foolish. I can see you Uniboy, and more importantly, I can see your very soul." Joachim grew tired with standing and circling like a shark for blood. Sitting down, he crawled over to where Rutger sat, motionless.
"You grew up a human. You died a human. So why. Why persist in remembering and living in such memories that lay died and buried. Why fight what even you know can never be? Why do I persist? Why waste my time? Because Uniboy..." Joachim leaned into to Rutger's body, cradling his face in the crook of Rutger's neck. "I desire you."
"You-"
Disturbed by the contact, Rutger would have drawn back, but he had placed his back against the rock earlier, and had no where to go. His privacy and space invaded, he could do little but breathe in, assaulted by the scent of the other as his mind raced to categorize and refute what Joachim had spoken.
His words echoed Rutger's thoughts, enough to think that there was some dark form of magic here. Perhaps the other being contained the skill to read minds - it wasn't unheard of in his land, regardless of what he chose to believe personally. More, he seemed to express what he felt, which was thought that frightened and offended on the most basic level. A mind was fleeting, changing; a heart, on the other hand, was something that ran deeper, was not so easily shifted. Whatever a vampire was, if it could read minds and hearts, then he had underestimated his opponent.
Eyes mere slits in his face, he exhaled a warm breath, it contrasting sharply with the cool air of the night. His voice became harsh, roughened on the edges against phantoms that haunted his thoughts and his dreams. "You desire... me."
Refusing to turn away, because any concession at this point would only further Joachim's observations, he asked bitterly, "What pulls you to me?" Against his wishes, his tone softened, pain threading through it. "Why am I... chosen over others?"
Joachim could feel Rutger's breath on his neck, and relished in the fact he had so throughly unnerved the boy. Emitting a sound from the back of his throat which could only be described as a purr, Joachim drew back enough to give Rutger some breathing room he seemed to desperatly need.
"You wonder what I am, your mind cried out for clarification. " Joachim's eyes narrowed, not evilly but, in thought and reflection. "You fear me. And rightly so. You fear as I can see past your shell of a heart as see what lies beyond. You cannot comprehend what I am." Joachim slammed his hands to the sides of Rutger's head, preventing any escape, and returned to the invasive posture.
He drifted his face close to Rutger's. Not out of desire, but out of hunger.
"I am a Vampire." He drifted his face back to Rutger's neck.
"I am a creature that feeds off of the blood and essences of the living to fuel my life as an undead." He chuckled lightly in Rutger's neck.
Pulling away again, he paused, Looking right into to Rutger's eyes. "I desire you Rutger. I choose you because Uniboy..." He grinned fully, bearing fangs openly. "We are the same."
The same.
The creature, as it had described itself, would be an appropriate label for who he had been as a human, and who he was now. Fueled only by his need for revenge, sustained by his bitterness, he had sought to strike down every soldier of Bern that crossed his path, regardless of who they were, what families they would leave behind, and what motivations they might have. Without Bern as his focus, after the slaughter of his clan, he knew he would not have been able to move forward. He would have simply fallen into a depressive void and not emerged again. It might not have been a good thing, but at least Bern gave him focus, a place to vent all of his dark feelings.
In Ages, he had no such thing. What kind of person would he become? Something like this vampire, feeding off the essence of others? Forcing them into corners and preying upon the dark parts of their hearts?
No. He wouldn't allow that. No matter what he had been, what path of destruction he had been following as a human, he would never become the sort of monster that had led the attack on his people.
Holding Joachim's eyes, determination but no censure in them, he noted the use of his name. What had changed, he wondered? But then, it didn't matter. He was beginning to pick up the others' rhythm. To Joachim, this was all just a game. With the advantage of apparent soul-searching, it was one he couldn't win through any obvious methods
Narrowing his eyes, he leaned forward, choosing to be the one this time who closed the slight distance. "I am not the same as you."
Joachim began to cackle. He was no longer laughing, but cackling. Taking joy in Rutger's misfortune. Pulling back a few loose strand oh hair, Joachim picked up a splint of wood from the board he had stepped upon earlier.
He, Rutger, still didn't understand Joachim's purpose, and Joachim began to feel he never would.
"If this was game, you would have lost long ago Uniboy. I'm not playing." Digging the stick into the earth, it stood vertical, unmoving.
"I was once so filled with the need for vengeance, I almost killed the one who would save me from my torment." he frowned. remembering his imprisonment. "He spared my 'life', and killed the one I had so long sought revenge against." Joachim shoved the stick deeper into the earth.
"I had nothing after that. I was empty. My purpose had been destroyed, my existence no longer validated. I felt as you feel now." He dug the stick even deeper.
"But then, I found someone who empathized, who understood. Yet, I could not come to terms with my past. My..failure." Again, the stick was dug deeper.
Joachim's hand twitched, and he glared at Rutger. "You are a visage of me. A mirror image of what I was and am." Walking over to Rutger, he gabbed his face, and dragged him to the stick.
"That is my pain, my suffering. Even if it is removed, splinters and scars will remain. It will take time to heal. However..." Flicking his wrist, The wood was forced out of the hole, shattered by the force.
"I will not allow it. It took time, but, my hate is gone. How can I hate that which is dead? How can I seek revenge on something that I will never see again? You are me Uniboy. A mirror. And that is why I want you. To stop you while I can."
It was rare that Rutger would allow himself to be tossed and thrown about as he was. His patience, though that well ran deep, was wearing thin with the other's actions; despite this, he couldn't help but recall the Silver Wolf's words, and his own response to them. He had spoken of bitterness and pain, and how after the war was over - a war he had not lived to see the end of - he would need to find another way of life. Something aside from revenge. He had begun to understand that slowly, had almost considered Dayan's offer to join the Kutolah clan, but now...
He did not feel his revenge was sated. But here, there would be no way for him to garner personal fulfillment in that respect. He had always known that he would need to find something else to live for, but he hadn't considered it would come so soon. His death, swift and merciful as it had been, had opened the doors for a longer, more painful existence, made all the worse because of the lack of his clansmen.
It seemed all he had... was this. A life as a fey, the acquaintance of souls more twisted than his, with regrets perhaps greater, more haunting. Joachim had learned that he could never regain what was lost through revenge; Rutger already knew this. However, without purpose... his life was nothing.
Bringing his hands up, he placed them on either side of the wrist still gripping his face, eyes impassive. It was his curse for others to see themselves in him. Back then, at Bulgar, when his entire clan was slaughtered simply for who they were, he had been spared. While he watched those he called sister, brother - friend - be brutally beaten, abused, tortured, only he remained unhunted.
Of course he had attacked. He had viciously struck out at those harming his clansmen. But he had been a weak child, headstrong and driven by emotion. He'd been slammed back, bloodied and bruised, but never driven unconscious. Never allowed to escape the nightmare as it unfolded in front of his eyes.
Because his hair was dark, his skin rough and tanned, they had seen Bern in him. His mixed blood had betrayed him, showing the traits of a Bern man rather than the Sacaen heritage that had been instilled in him, given him pride and comfort. His kinsmen were looked upon as savages, he an unlucky victim of circumstance. More cruel than allowing him to die beside those he loved, he was "spared," and a horrible hatred was born.
Eyes dark and full of turmoil, he asked in a low, deep tone, "Do you wish to gain your own salvation by saving me from my destruction? I know this path. It is all that I know. You claim you can read minds and souls - if you did so just now, you're a fool if you can't realize why I can trust no one again. Love no one again."
Grinding his teeth, he closed his eyes, images dancing in front of them. "How can a being who cannot trust - love - hope... how can such a being ever change? You are not Dayan. Though you speak words like his, though you may read my very heart, you will never touch me in a way he did. If even he could not show me another path to this life, what makes you believe that you can?"
Joachim didn't respond.
At least, not until he felt Rutger's anger rise to the limit.
"I can because, Rutger, You. Are. Me. I never chose this existence. I never chose my fate. I fought against it. I cursed it. I hated the one I thought to be responsible for my fate. But that was not the case." Joachim began to walk, motioning for Rutger to follow.
"I can see your memories flashing behind your eyes. I don't need my power to show me that. But, what it does allow me to see is how you feel the way you do. It lets me know. You are fey, do you even know what you are now? What you represent? Do you understand what you ave become?"
Joachim stopped walking. He had ended at the top a a hill, overlooking much of the field.
"I never knew love." He paused. "I was born alone. Hated. I sought love, but was instead hunted down. You...You had had love. You had joy. Do you realize how luck you are to hold such memories? To have that?" Joachim remembered his pain. The words. The stones. Even now he felt them pound into his back.
"And you do love, or why else would you, even now, fight your fate so fiercely? You dishonor your loved ones to be like this."
It seemed there was little to do but follow. Like a bee to the open face of a flower, he was drawn to Joachim's words, something inside of him urging him to listen to the other's story. Though he had been a private man even while alive, he had a strong heart beneath all of his hatred, and disliked seeing others in pain. It was a testament to how terrible Bern's actions had been that he would overlook his natural instinct to fight only those strong enough, evil enough, to warrant it, and instead would target any soldier from Bern. Something in Joachim's story pulled at him, though he did not choose for it to do so.
It was true that he had known love and affection, trust and warmth. He had belonged once, not just to a place, but to a people. The clan had accepted him as his parents' child, the product of their loving union, and despite his appearance, had treated him as their own. He had been raised Sacae, and had died Sacae, though not at the same time as his kin. When the nightmares drove him awake, haunted his resting hours and reminded him nightly of what he had lost, he could remember the better times. Even though they were stained, it was true that he had known them once.
Even so, he felt he had lost the ability to express those emotions again. To himself, and only himself, he could admit fear. If he came to love again, he didn't know how he would survive the wrenching pain of separation, the horrible, consuming loss that came with the death of someone he cared for. It was cowardice, plain and simple, but if he opened his heart and had it sliced again, he didn't think it would ever recover.
Still, to have his loved ones be discussed by someone who never knew them - would never know them - brought an ache and an anger that he rarely indulged in. This was not rage toward faceless suits of armor, it was directed at one person, one who had the impudence to discuss those people he held close to his heart. Like a drowning man, his memories of them, perfect and unchanging in his heart were his oxygen.
"You have no right to speak of them." Coming to pause next to Joachim, not touching and yet shoulder-to-shoulder, he looked into the face of the moon. The wind blew, but it fell on his ears like noise to a deaf man. Once, he had been able to understand its song. "You may abuse me as you will, but do not bring them into this. They have passed on to a better place, their souls unburdened. They do not need whisperings to fall on the wind and reach their ears. It would only bring them sadness."
It burned at the base of his chest, the knowledge that if they could see him now... his mother would weep at the sight of her son, his heart blackened, ears covered with hate. His father would be shamed to call him kin. The elders would scold him, they would all...
He would bring them only grief.
It was better that they would never know.
Joachim only scoffed.
"We grow." He looked a tree that stood not to far. Its leaves brushing in a slow melody, seaming to chant with the bugs that skittered about in the night sky. Together forming a wordless song Joachim had known for his entire life.
"Like that tree, you're survive. If you were to cut it down, it would still survive. You'd see the rings marking the fires, the floods, the droughts. And It would have survived. " Joachim looked Rutger up and down, not meting his eyes.
"You are a fey. People used to Worship fey as bringers of life, of joy, of happiness. But..You bring sorrows, fears, and shame. Perhaps you were given this form to make up for the one you lost."
Joachim felt Rutger's sorrows. Though he wished he could not, they hung think in the air, as if a heavy fog had come in. His senses were filled with loss. Both a curse and blesing, Joachim could share the emotions. The Pain.
He could also feel the hope.
"I want you to belong. I want you to heal. I want you Uniboy. I want to show you what I spent years trying to understand. You can love again. You still do. I feel it in your heart when you think of your people. You still hope. You hope for salvation."
Joachim did something he had not done in years. he had not done since he was so new to the world.
He turned and embraced Rutger.
"Your people loved you. So can't another? Why can those of us here not love you? Why won't you try to love us back? People care Uniboy. People love. People care. Would it truely be so bad to be loved, and share love in return?"
He was startled, for the first time in a long time. Rutger had become good at taking the measure of people during his lifetime; more than a hobby, an amusement, it had become a survival skill. He would not have expected Joachim, a self-proclaimed drainer of souls, to show compassion, affection. It threw him off guard, and he felt strangely insecure for a moment.
The embrace was fleeting, but it reminded him of the last time he had been held - the last time he had reached for another. For so long he had only been able to depend on himself, had hardened his heart against the possibility of leaning against another, that the touch was foreign and somehow more invasive than Joachim's earlier ventures close to his body.
Frowning, not out of anger but rather confusion, he found himself at a loss for words. Even from a near stranger, the touch was a balm. Hurts that he'd thought long scabbed over were revealed to be raw, the childish notions that he'd forced into submission began to rear their heads once again. The talk of him surviving through all evils... the comparison to the rings circling a tree's trunk. There were words he would expect from one of the Sacae, not a bloodthirsty beast as Joachim claimed to be.
Despite his earlier statement, they touched his heart, warmed something inside of him. Even as he resented it, willed the feelings away, there was a part of him that yearned to try to follow another path.
Quietly, choosing his words carefully, he murmured, "I do not yet have the strength to open my heart to others."
Conceding such a point... under any other circumstance, would he have done so? Would he have even realized it? Perhaps Dayan's words were finally taking root. Perhaps hearing it from another, not of the Sacae, but someone like him, allowed the beginnings of change. If he looked at it from a different perspective, the Silver Wolf's perspective, of course he would have to make those who had hurt his people pay. But hand in hand with that, to scorn them the most, to defy their very actions, he would have to live fully and honorably, embracing every aspect of life. Surely Bern had wanted to eradicate the Sacae; the heaviest insult would be to thrive.
This path... was a different one. It would require a different kind of strength. He was unsure if he was ready to embark on it. But Rutger had never been a man to turn his back on a challenge. As surely as he had honed his skills with the sword and tended its blade, he could learn to care again. To trust again.
In time, if he resolved himself...
Perhaps he could forget this hatred.
Perhaps he could hear the wind song again.
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