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 Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 12:55 pm
That warm smile never seemed to disappear from his face. He looked at her as she accused him of making assumptions and sighed lightly.
"Well, I guess you are right. I don't really know you, but as I have said, I have met many different kinds of beings in my lifetime, and when you have met as many as I have, you learn how to measure somebody up with just a few minutes conversation. Perhaps you are afraid to let yourself love?"
He knew he was taking a risk making a statement this blunt, but he could tell by her voice that she wanted help. No matter how much she resisted it, deep down, she wanted somebody to help her, and he was the one she had come across.
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Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:07 pm
Thorn was starting to have mixed feelings about the ever present smile. She was both glad that it was there as it made her feel welcome but at the same time she wanted to stomp on it. It didn't seem right that he was able to smile while she was having so much trouble. To her it didn't matter why he was smiling.
Her temper was beginning to flare up more then it normally did and what he was saying to her did not help in the slightest.
"That is completely ridiculous!" She snapped turning her head away with a an angry huff. "How could anyone possibly be scared of allowing themselves to love another? The idea alone is completely foolish." Her eyes narrowed not pleased with how things were turning out. She had just wanted to tell someone what was bothering her but the promise of an answer had kept her around. Now it seemed like the only answers she would be receiving were things she did not wish to hear.
What could possibly be truth did not matter to her. It was not what she wanted to hear.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:29 pm
He took a few steps to the side, breaking eye contact with her. She was so worked up that he wanted to appear as casual as possible.
"On the contrary, it is not such a ridiculous idea. There are many who feel that showing love is a sign of weakness. They don't want to let their guard down to let somebody in, to let somebody get close. Or there is the fear of hurting the other one involved. Perhaps you are afraid of hurting him. There are many reason that you may be afraid to love."
He looked calmly up into the canopy of the trees above them. The sunlight pushed through in places, throwing the pair into a spotted shade.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:00 pm
She didn't notice that he had moved, she was far to lost in her own mind to notice much of the outside world. All she was aware of, in fact, was her self, her thoughts, and his words; that was it.
She knew several of those that thought love showed weakness but she did not understand how that was fear. She was unable to process what he was trying to say about those people before something in her snapped. She turned her head to give him a look that could kill. "Why would I be afraid of hurting him?" She asked, snappish as usual. "He is the one who hurt me!"
The moment she said it she wished she hadn't. It was not often that she regretted her words as they were generally well put together even in the middle of one of her fits. With a rather childish 'humph' she turned her head to look up as he had trying to ignore the fact that she had said something she shouldn't have. Especially considering that the 'something' was a thing she hadn't even fully realized herself.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:17 pm
He returned his eyes to look at her. His eyebrows were raised just slightly. He hadn't really seen this coming. Thought he might have thought about it, it definitely wasn't the path he was heading down. He thought she was having some sort of self-esteem issue that she couldn't work out, and that she was afraid to show her feelings. But it seemed now that she had indeed showed her feelings, and that was what worried her.
"Ah, I see. Well, I won't ask how he hurt you, but I will say that second chances are a blessing to those who need and deserve them. He may not have realized that he hurt you. Perhaps you should talk to him. I myself am in search of somebody who hurt me. And I believe I have children with her. But I have not seen any of them since the night I met her. But I am seeking her out to hopefully rectify things, and so that I can help her take care of our children."
He hadn't told anybody this yet. He was somewhat ashamed of his little careless adventure. He expected the gods to be furious, but he found that they were quite understanding about the whole thing. He even suspected that they had planned this. He felt as thought it was some sort of test...but he was falling in love, and the lives of two children was nothing to play with.
Coming out of his own thoughts, he looked at her, a questioning look on his face.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:44 pm
She grumbled and lowered her head. Her eyes drifted off to the side as she thought, a few stray words slipping out now and again. It was likely he did not know that he had hurt her but she had expected him to know. She had made it perfectly clear that her intent was to return to her home with the change of seasons. He should have known to follow her.
A noise between a sigh and a growl escaped her before she returned her gaze to the surprisingly clever dirt and snow colored stallion. She had not missed what he had said while she was off in her own world. The word 'children' had gotten to her.
"She will not let you see them?" She asked her icy voice sounding calm and almost sad. It was not something she would say freely but she had a bit of a soft spot for children. She would pretend that she didn't, though, she did not want to seem like every other motherly mare out there.
She sighed and shook her head. "What a shame...children need there parents even if they say otherwise or act as though they don't. She is foolish if she will not let you help..."
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:54 pm
The sudden change in her attitude surprised him. He had not pegged her to be the motherly type. Smiling softly, he looked down at the ground.
"No, its not that she won't let me see them. We had one night together. I feel in love. I know it may sound impossible to fall in love so quickly, but I did. I don't know how, or even why. In all honesty, she's a bit much to deal with. But I love her. But she left me alone, and every time that I've tried to approach her since then, she has run from me, saying that she doesn't know me."
He sighed. He believed that she truly didn't remember him. He knew that her mind was somewhat disturbed, and that she probably convinced herself that she didn't know him. But he decided to leave that bit out for now.
"I am certain that we have children. Two boys, and I've only seen them from afar. I'm sure they are older now, and no long depend on her. I hope one day to find them. And her..."
His voice trailed off. He chuckled at himself. How could he be giving advice on relationships to this mare when his own personal life was such a mess? However, he felt that he was being helpful just by listening. Sometimes, that's all you need, is somebody to listen.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:15 pm
It did in fact sound impossible. Impossible and foolish. The concept of his love for her itself was not so strange. Not at all. She had seen that in reverse, with her mother caring deeply for her sire. It only ended in tears and many trips for Thorn.
"It would be wise not to trouble yourself over her." She said with a sigh and a small shake of her head. She could both understand where he was coming from and at the same time it seemed entirely crazy. "If she says she does not remember who you are and she does then she is cruel and not worth your trouble. If she really does not remember who you are...well..." She laughed slightly with a bit of an odd smile settling on her face. "You could simply introduce yourself again...claim that you mistook her for someone else on those other occasions and start fresh. Though...I somehow do not see that ending well."
She tossed her head again feeling a bit agitated. She was not one for giving advice, it always felt odd to her. Things were a bit worse knowing that his problem, while different from her own, ran along the same track. It did not sit well because with ever word she said somewhere in her mind she was reminded of her own troubles.
"Why do you not simply find the boys, explain who you are, and let things go from there? That seems to be the simplest path in this case."
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:31 pm
Raksh shook his head. He simply couldn't leave her. He couldn't give up. There was no "if" about it. He had to find her, and he had to convince her that they belonged together. He had spoken to the gods about her. They agreed that he had to find her, and that he must not give up.
"No, you see...she needs me."
He wasn't one to brag about being needed, but it was true. He had been told that he was the only one who could calm her mind. It would take time. A very long time indeed, but he was the only one who could do it. He raised his eyes back to meet hers.
"I will find her. And I will help her to deal with her inner demons. And I will help to continue to care for our sons, even if they are grown now. And hopefully, we will have more children in the future. It is part of my destiny to be with her."
He didn't usually speak much of his destiny or his legend, or of the gods to others. He had come to learn that some viewed it with skepticism and began to mistrust him. But he knew who and what he was, and he knew that he only had a certain amount of control over his life. But he accepted this life with joy and pride. He was proud of his legend.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 5:44 pm
It was both touching a nauseating to hear him speak of this mare and destiny. She missed having someone care about her so much. It was true that she was mostly alright on her own but that kind of attention was something she always appreciated. However, she had never been too fond of the concept of destiny. It bothered her to think that when something went wrong it was meant to go that way. She preferred the thought that bad things that happened were merely accidents and the good things were brought by good luck.
“Well that is very kind of you. I wish you luck in finding her and making amends.” She said finally choosing to make no further comment. She did not often care if she offended anyone with her words but he was the first brown creature that she had encountered that she had not shunned immediately. Somehow he had managed to get her to see past what was a hideous color, in her eyes, and behave remotely civilly. Surely that deserved some courtesy even if not much.
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Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:40 pm
He chuckled a tiny bit, bring his eyes to meet hers.
"I'm sorry. It seems the conversation has turned to me. Was there anything else you needed or wanted to say?"
He felt a little bad for turning things his way. He really hadn't meant to drop that on her. He felt rude and selfish. He was here helping her. She obviously needed somebody to talk to, and it seemed that he was the only one who would stay long enough to listen. At least according to her.
"Yes, love is difficult. Its almost like torture, but it is also one of the most wonderful feelings in the world."
He sighed, looking back up at the canopy.
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Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:18 pm
She looked back at him for a moment staring straight into his eyes almost as though she were looking straight through him. After a long moment she shook her head. "At the moment, no there is not." She responded simply before turning away to gaze back at the mountain. She was quite surprised at her own answer but she didn't feel so troubled anymore. Perhaps she had truly said everything that she needed to get out or it was possible that the change in conversation had been enough to distract her troubled mind. Whatever the reason her mind was calm, at least for the moment.
She was silent for a moment just staring at the scenery. She could not decide whether she should take her leave now or not. She thought it would be wise to return home, that was where she belonged after all. Though, as strange as it seemed, she was rather enjoying this conversation. It was simple and he was not annoying like many she had encountered. Her ears flicked backwards as the silence was interrupted.
"You do realize that what you just said makes little to no sense?" She questioned a delicate brow raised. She knew there was truth to what he said but it was not something she had ever heard put in words. When spoken it seemed like such a silly thing.
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Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:29 pm
Raksh shook his head, the warm smile returning to his lips.
"No, I do not believe so. On the contrary, I believe that it is a very true statement."
He let that sit in the air for a moment, giving her time to think it over, and also giving some thought to it himself.
"You see, love is such a strong emotion, that it can completely consume you. So while I'd like to think that there's nothing I can do for the mare I spoke of, and that I should just move on, I can't, because I love her. And in that way, I am tortured. But when I finally am reunited with her, I know the feeling will be so wonderful, that nothing else will matter, so long as I am with her."
He smiled at her, waiting to see if she would contradict him again.
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Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:51 pm
She stood quietly simply listening to him as he spoke. From what he said she determined it was quite true. In a way it was like that for her, but in reverse. She had been very happy with the one causing her the pain she felt now when she had been with him. She wondered if the wonderful feeling would return to her when the two saw each other once again.
With a sigh she shook her head not really wanting to admit defeat. "You do of course realize that a statement can be true without making any sense?" She smiled slightly trying to find another example. "In example, I have the wings of a crow on my back and yet I can not fly. It does not make much sense to have wings and be unable to use them at the same time but it does not make it any less true."
Another truth would be that Thorn was trying to avoid the subject now even though she didn't quite know it. Healing could only go so far after all.
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 11:13 am
He smiled at her.
"Yes, I guess you're right. But that is the way things are. Both true and impossible at the same time."
He looked again back up at the canopy. It seemed that they had exhausted all topics of discussion, and he could tell that she no longer wanted to talk about the one that was troubling her. Perhaps it was time for him to politely take his leave.
"Well, it has been very nice talking to you, Thorn. Unless you wish me to stay, I'll go and leave you to your thoughts on your own, so you can make your own decisions."
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