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 Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:24 pm
Yesterday I recruited Ignatius to be my bodyguard, and today was the first day of our trial period of seven suns. So far so good; we got on very well and he organized a sparring game with his friends where they have to try to get past him to tag me. One of them got past him eventually, and I ran away which everyone found most amusing and I was most pleased to be praised for my good sense. I must admit I had expected them to scorn me for it to be honest, being warriors and everything. Still, there is a lot about people that I don’t know or understand; it’s nice for it to be a good surprise for once.
After that we wandered around a bit and got to know one another a little better; I gather that he’s lived most of his life in Qurine and that he eats meat. So long as he does it well away from me, that’s just fine by me. There was more, obviously, basic details only, nothing deeply personal as yet though I do hope to get to that stage with him. It would to have a confidant other than Meleager.
In all honesty, I would be happy with just one or two more trial days before making this whole thing official but I’ve made my plan now and I know I won’t be able to change it without feeling horribly uncomfortable. Oh well, no harm in being really sure I suppose.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:44 am
I wish all my tacticians were as bright and responsible as Jocasta is. She asks questions, doesn’t seem to fear looking like a fool for not knowing something and from what I can tell is a nice mare as well. I must remember to keep an eye on her in future, I think she’ll do very well for herself indeed.
Speaking of the herd and doing well, I have been looking hard at Ignatius of late. I think I need to find him a mare; if his children inherited his attributes they would all be very fine additions to our fighting forces. In light of these thoughts, I have been eyeing up several powerful warriors (of the female persuasion) and pondering which one to try to pair him with. There is a rather nice Reya mare named Keres who has recently joined up, but she is very black and if the children were too that could upset people I think. Still, having a large amount of black has served captain Hades rather well so it might work out for them in the end.
Another possibility, however, and perhaps a better one is the red Reya crossbreed I’ve seen about the place. Her tails are tipped with sharp spines, she has a good number of scars from catching herself with them, and her horn is serrated. Any combination of her traits and those possessed by Ignatius would be excellent indeed. I believe she is in the omega force, but as yet that’s all I know. It looks like I shall have to do some research.
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:53 am
Life can take unexpected turns sometimes. I knew that Meleager liked me, but apparently he likes me as I do him, or at least as I assume I do him; I’ve not felt like this for anyone else so infatuation is my best guess. He took me to a prime spot in Yisi, gave it to me to live in and provided me with a wonderful spread of fruit. He asked if he might court me, and clearly I assented. He wishes to keep our relationship secret for now, and I have no objection to that.
I never really expected to have a chance like this in life, and even when I began to realize that I felt more than simple respect and affection for Meleager I didn’t really regret it. It was like... like flying I suppose; something that looked rather wonderful but only happened for other people. It would be nice to fly, but not being able to has never concerned me save for an occasional moment of jealously when I watch another soar. Now however, all similes aside, I wonder why I didn’t regret it more. Certainly Meleager and I are far from being an established couple, and I think it’s too soon to use the word love yet too but this is the start of something that will... Well, that will change my life really. Not being alone, always having somebody to speak to, or somebody to be silent with. It defies description, or defies my description at any rate.
It makes me rethink my plans for Ignac, too. If I try to pair him off with some mare who will produce good strong children, might I not take away from him the chance to have something like this? It’s certainly something I shall have to think about more, and something I shall have to discuss carefully with him. I think however that, in the end, so long as I don’t coerce him there’s no harm in suggesting it. Perhaps first, however, I will suggest it to Meleager; he’s much better with people than I am, I’m sure he’ll have thoughts on the matter.
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Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 7:48 am
Meleager is a fool. It is more than a little upsetting to realize this. How can he think that it’s a good idea to make his foals his heirs? True Helen had no children of her own when she needed an heir, but the fact remains that she chose on merit, not favor. We are the Hellenes, we are warriors, we do not need a royal line; we need to be led by the very best of us, not the child of someone who was the best in his lifetime. It is more than foolishness; it is selfishness, and that makes it even worse. What right does he have to put those of his bloodline above anyone else? Are our captains in that position because of their parents? Am I Master Tactician because of mine? No, no indeed... Though Iris, of course, was given her position as a sweet fruit when Meleager still wished to woo her. At least she does well at it.
I suppose his children might be good leaders, or at least one of them might be but what of their descendants? No matter how excellent their blood, it is insane to believe that those of Meleager’s line will always be the best and most worthy of all Hellenes. I have to talk him out of this course of action, I have to hope that my logic can overcome his passion. If it cannot then... Then I don’t know what I’ll do. If he does not listen to me, I think I will lose a great deal of respect for my partner. I thought him better than this.
Still, he has chosen a mare to have his foals and of that at least I approve. Jocasta-hellene is a fine mare, was my own suggestion. I do want Meleager to have children, to be happy but I can’t let him just gift away the leadership of our herd to his babies. Yes, Meleager, this is our herd, and not yours. Much as I love you, I must stop you from doing this thing.
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Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 7:58 am
I spoke to Jocasta; she seems to be willing to go through with this idea. I didn’t mention the heirs issue. I wanted to, I almost did but in the end... in the end I think I should talk to Meleager about it first. If he refuses to listen, only then will I try to subvert him. Quietly though; I wouldn’t want the herd at large to find out about this. They might approve, I don’t know how people think, but I hope they wouldn’t, and therefore I must hope that they never discover what Meleager currently plans to do.
I am afraid. Afraid of what will happen if I don’t talk to him, afraid of what will happen if I do. I don’t want him to be angry with me, which he well might be if I tell him my opinions, things he doesn’t want to hear but are undeniably true. Does he not see it? How can he not see it? Oh Meleager, you are setting us up to fall, to degrade from what we are into just another herd. Our values will slowly be forgotten, very slowly no doubt but one day, one day they would be gone and we would no longer be the warrior herd of the north east. Another herd, a fine strong one, would wash us away and your descendants would be killed without a doubt. Is that what you want for us Meleager?
Why of all gift positions could could give them do you want to make them, or one of them, our herdleader? Do you plan to make those of your children who you do not make your heir into our captains? Will I be succeeded by one of your get Meleager? Will Iris? Clytemnestra?
I can’t think about this any more today; I have disturbed my routines with worrying and managed to put myself even more on edge by doing so. Tomorrow I will find him and speak to him. I can’t put it off any longer than that. It must be done.
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Posted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:59 am
Logic is hard to beat into Meleager’s head, but succeeding in doing so is not satisfying, as accomplishing difficult tasks usually is. I fear I may have damaged our relationship. He said he wasn’t angry with me, but can I trust that? I know he was hurt by all I said, but it had to be said. The good of the herd is more important than the feelings of two stallions within it. I hope I haven’t put Meleager off having children after all; I did want to know his children but... But I did what I had to do. I wish I could read people better, I wish I could have understood the expressions that passed across his face but I can’t, and I couldn’t. I suppose I shall just have to wait and see what happens next.
I wish I hadn’t seen the issue. It would have been nice to be blissfully ignorant of what setting up a monarchy could, no would, do to our great herd. If I hadn’t realized what would become of us, I wouldn’t have said anything and... and what? No, I’m glad I realized, just not happy. There is a difference between those two things, a different implication. I am unhappy, but I am glad. No. Unhappy but relieved. I did my duty, no matter the cost. I hope things go back to normal soon.
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