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 Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 4:36 pm
kp is dcvi Expressing your sexual desire and/or the sexual appeal of someone else does not mean you are objectifying them. We are all sexual beings. There will be times where that is obvious. It is when we let our sexual desires become part of our daily lifestyles, our personalities when objectification becomes an issue. Well I agree to an extent, but when the only thing you have to say about someone is that they might have a big p***s, I would say that falls into that questionable realm. If you're telling people that you barely know that you think a random stranger probably has a big d**k without any real reason to think he does, I think that says something about your personality and daily lifestyle. *thinks I.Am probably has a big AHEM*
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 4:53 pm
lymelady kp is dcvi Expressing your sexual desire and/or the sexual appeal of someone else does not mean you are objectifying them. We are all sexual beings. There will be times where that is obvious. It is when we let our sexual desires become part of our daily lifestyles, our personalities when objectification becomes an issue. Well I agree to an extent, but when the only thing you have to say about someone is that they might have a big p***s, I would say that falls into that questionable realm. If you're telling people that you barely know that you think a random stranger probably has a big d**k without any real reason to think he does, I think that says something about your personality and daily lifestyle. *thinks I.Am probably has a big AHEM* To me it screams nothing more than wishful thinking. EDIT: Let me expound. For me, sex is on my mind hourly. If i've had sex with you in the past, and enjoyed it, it will consume my thoughts very often. That doesn't mean I see you as an object for my pleasure, it doesn't mean I see you as a means to my ends. At least it doesn't have to. I appreciate, fully, the person that lies on the inside. For me, friends, with or without benefits, without or with sexual histories are still friends. Just because the thought of us hooking up in the future is very enjoyable doesn't mean that I'm only friends with you as, again, a means to my ends. The benefits of a friendship can exist alongside that said friendship. It is still possible to appreciate the person and wholly enjoy what else they bring to the table. Be it sex, networking, skills, assistance, whatever! For me, I'll definitely think thoughts about someone passing in the streets. That has no bearing on how i'd actually treat them. I'd still shake their hand and be honest, make small talk, the usual. I guess what I'm getting at is that the presence of physical intimacy doesn't downplay an emotional or human connection. It doesn't mean that you're a sex-hungry animal.
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 5:10 pm
I don't know what's wrong with people any more but it seems that people need help when they think that treating people like a person and not an object is pseudo-morality, last I checked it was called showing respect.
Being attracted to some one phyiscally is normal, but that doesn't mean you can treat as an object instead of a human being and say what ever you want to them (maybe something should be kept to themselfs).
I don't like how people treat sex-that you have be one way or you be a reject/loser.
That only makes people feel bad or puts pressure on them. I guess it goes to show you how much our culture has changed and how sex is now part of everyday life (in movies, shows, music, ect...)
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 5:47 pm
Yeah, but y'alls are missing the point. The gay guy wasn't sexualizing anyone. I talked like that at my old work all the time. In Halifax, the city across the harbour, it's gay central. I'm checking out guys everywhere, is that objectification?
I'm sorry, but the sexual comments had a target, he was speculating, and he just stated it in a way that may ruffle some people's feathers. That's all.
But honestly, I am somewhat the same way. I'm flirty with girls, but not really with guys. I'll admire straight guys from a distance (which is what I'm assuming he was doing) because it's a way to be gay without having sex with a man. He was expressing himself as a gay individual, just as I would have in the same situation.
I.Am knows I flirt with him all the time, but he likes being objectified.<3 wink
KP: heart
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:02 pm
Wait, you were flirting with me? crying Oh god!
...Nah, I know I'm just too sexy for you to be able to help it. wink I'm used to it! Plus, I do totally have my gay outfit on right now. 3nodding
Also, I'm definitely making "I.Am likes being objectified" my new MSN name. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:46 pm
McPhee Yeah, but y'alls are missing the point. The gay guy wasn't sexualizing anyone. I talked like that at my old work all the time. In Halifax, the city across the harbour, it's gay central. I'm checking out guys everywhere, is that objectification?
I'm sorry, but the sexual comments had a target, he was speculating, and he just stated it in a way that may ruffle some people's feathers. That's all.
But honestly, I am somewhat the same way. I'm flirty with girls, but not really with guys. I'll admire straight guys from a distance (which is what I'm assuming he was doing) because it's a way to be gay without having sex with a man. He was expressing himself as a gay individual, just as I would have in the same situation.
I.Am knows I flirt with him all the time, but he likes being objectified.<3 wink
KP: heart Perhaps you were sexualizing people as well. If you're talking to people you barely know about what some guy's d**k might be like just because you can without talking about anything else and without having any reason at all to think what you do, then yeah, I'd say you're objectifying people. It doesn't matter if you're a girl saying it, if you're a guy saying it, if you're gay saying it or straight saying it, if all you have to say after seeing someone is "He's probably got a big d**k," without any indication that he does...what else are you going to call it? Just being gay because you need to be gay? Why? Why is there a need to, during working hours, assert that you are gay and you like big dicks to people who you barely know? (you as in the general you, not the you you). If a straight guy was talking about a women's breasts or how tight she probably was, he wouldn't be expressing himself as a straight individual, he'd be labeled a pig. No one wants to hear it except maybe his buddies. It's not like I'm innocent in objectifying people, but still. Catcalling is a part of society. Sizing people up like slabs of meat is pretty normal. But normal doesn't mean not objectifying. If the only thing you focus on about a person is sexual...what do you call it?
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:46 pm
Sexual objectification is objectification of a person. It occurs when a person is seen as a sexual object when their sexual attributes and physical attractiveness are separated from the rest of their personality and existence as an individual, and reduced to instruments of pleasure for another person
As in, when a person passes by you, your first concern is to ogle said persons cleavage or bulge and concern yourself ONLY with that trait and attribute said persons value to that trait. if you see a person and you couldn't care less about who they are as a person and only how they appeal sexually, then yes you are sexually objectifying said person.
If a woman walks by and you talk to your friend about whether you think the woman has a good v****a then yeah, you don't really care about her. You just care about her parts.
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:51 pm
Mm. I think, though, that he means there's a difference between making a sexual comment and sexually objectifying them. Do you really think that your coworker solely thought of that person as a large p***s? Or a good ********? xd Just because you make a comment about someone's sexual organ doesn't mean you don't see their other aspects. But then again, he didn't know that person, I'm assuming. All he had to go on was how he looked. And is it any less objectifying to define a person by the color of their hair and tone of their skin? Which, really, is what he was objectifying him as, he just expressed it in sexual terms.
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 7:20 pm
People judge other people based on looks, bottom line. You go by what you can SEE, and then you get to know them.
That's why having a professional appearance is important in an office environment, and such.
And yes, I.Am, I see sexual comments as not being sexual objectification, because I'm not harming them personally, I'm making comments about it-- and you can construe it as harassment if you like, but I don't see it that way.
I think that these kinds of comments is harmless, sex and the city type chatter about Hottie McHots, and that's the way I am because that's my personality. Gay.
Why do you think people say that the girls in that show act like gay men? It's totally true. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 8:19 pm
Mm. But that's not necessarily a good thing; Being like the sex and the city girls. xd And I thought that those women just talked to each other like that, not random coworkers? sweatdrop I don't know, I don't watch the show.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:15 am
McPhee People judge other people based on looks, bottom line. You go by what you can SEE, and then you get to know them.
That's why having a professional appearance is important in an office environment, and such.
And yes, I.Am, I see sexual comments as not being sexual objectification, because I'm not harming them personally, I'm making comments about it-- and you can construe it as harassment if you like, but I don't see it that way.
I think that these kinds of comments is harmless, sex and the city type chatter about Hottie McHots, and that's the way I am because that's my personality. Gay.
Why do you think people say that the girls in that show act like gay men? It's totally true. 3nodding Objectification is not the same as sexual assault. Sexual objectification is a mindset that what parts you have is all that matters most or your first concern. Ever hear the legend of Saint Lucy? One of the stories in dante's purgatorio goes like this: Saint Lucy was a beautiful girl with beautiful eyes. Her parents wanted to her to marry but instead she gave her dowry to the poor and swore never to marry(you can't marry without a dowry). A suitor was very much attracted to her, would constantly talk about her beautiful eyes and how lovely they were. Finally she plunked out her eyes and mailed them to him and ask to be left in peace thereafter. The next day her eyes grew back lovlier than before. Now imagine someone doing the same thing with their p***s? say A guy is so sick of being hounded by someone who wants to get in his pants that he finally just cuts it off and mails it to them. If someone for so long is identified by a certain body part (ie.Pamela Andersons breasts). Then really you are doing someone an immense disservice. I mean, why else is Pamela famous? who is she? Do we care? ....I didn't think so.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:15 am
Naztakuan Sexual objectification is objectification of a person. It occurs when a person is seen as a sexual object when their sexual attributes and physical attractiveness are separated from the rest of their personality and existence as an individual, and reduced to instruments of pleasure for another personAs in, when a person passes by you, your first concern is to ogle said persons cleavage or bulge and concern yourself ONLY with that trait and attribute said persons value to that trait. if you see a person and you couldn't care less about who they are as a person and only how they appeal sexually, then yes you are sexually objectifying said person. If a woman walks by and you talk to your friend about whether you think the woman has a good v****a then yeah, you don't really care about her. You just care about her parts. If I don't know her, I think desiring her body is the only form of flattery I can give when I cannot appreciate her person, given that, I don't know her, don't know what she likes, and do not know of the beauty she offers to the world. Actually, I would go as far to say that viewing people, indifferently, as one more face in the crowd, is much more... harsh? Cold? Take your pick.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 1:41 pm
Carrie from SexATC dated a guy named Mr. Big, who she mentioned in her column in the paper.
Naz: I really think you're taking this one comment that he made to the point where admiring someone for the way they look is going to be seen as objectification.
When I see someone attractive (girls, usually), I go over and talk to them. I get to know them. But guys, I don't know if they're straight or not, and some straight guys will not like me, right off the bat. So I usually admire them from a distance. Is it unfair to someone to admire them from a distance, rather than approaching them and possible making them feel uncomfortable? I don't hit on straight guys, period, because what's the point.
But like my mom says, just because I can't have what they serve on that menu doesn't mean I can't look. XD
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 4:02 pm
McPhee ? I don't hit on straight guys, period, because what's the point.
There is a God, Mcphee, and he is Good.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:58 pm
Mm... Honestly? I'm Catholic, and that story's disgusting. I also don't really see the relevance. sweatdrop In that story, Saint Lucy didn't even give the guy the chance to get to know her. It's hardly fair to say that the guy was wrong to like her for her eyes; That's all he got to know of her was her appearance. I fully agree with KP; It's better for me to appreciate her God given beauty than to act like she's just another face in the crowd. It would be a sin, in fact, to pretend like she isn't beautiful just because I don't want to seem like I'm objectifying her.
Mm. Is it wrong to appreciate beauty? Is it wrong to look at "The Birth of Venus," by Sandro Botticelli, and say, "Wow. That's beautiful?" To comment on the artistic ability of the artist, rather than his personality?
And bleck. Pamela Anderson. xp But you're really not making a point at all; We know -her- by that, because she's never actually done anything. It's not like she's got this wonderful personality, and is a great actress... All she has going for her is her breasts. I find her totally unattractive, largely because of this. She's vapid and one of those "famous for being famous" types.
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