|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 5:22 am
D3lir1um haha. I've heard that duck one before. rofl & I love the drunk thing...I should send it to my brother...he doesn't have a drinking problem. rolleyes i hadn't heard it until just then when i sent it. i thought it was really funny about the whole 'do you have any nails' thing rofl
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 1:07 pm
I feel the need to out funny everyone. I don't know what I should do.... *thinks hard* I shall get back to you. I'm sure you'll all be waiting with baited breath.- btw, what does that even mean?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:17 pm
*thinks* i have no idea.... rolleyes
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 4:26 am
|
somethingtrue Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 8:07 am
16 Pesky Ways to Annoy Your Roomate
1 Arrange thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Set one aside from the rest. Laugh hysterically at the one toothbrush. When your roommate asks about it, refuse to discuss the situation
2 Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally would.
3 Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? S/he won't be here much longer."
4 Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a Band-Aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
5 Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.
6 Cut the faces out of all your pictures.
7 Do all your homework in the bathroom, using the toilet as a desk.
8 Don't shower for three weeks. Complain often about the stench.
9 Demand that your roommate do his/her laundry.
10 Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, "I'm melting, I'm melting!"
11 Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If s/he asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist...."
12 Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
13 Frantically scribble something on paper. When finished, eat it. Start again.
14 Name your books. Call them like dogs when it's time to study.
15Play hide and seek with yourself. If your roommate asks what you're doing behind the couch, under the table, etc., look at them exasperatedly, come out of hiding and tell him/her that s/he gave away your hiding place. Refuse to talk to him/her for several hours.
16 Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 12:15 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 12:17 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:19 am
Strange Legal Defenses
In 1996, a Californian judge ruled against James Pflugradt's estate and in favor of the deceased's former landlord. The judge allowed the landlord to keep Pflugradt's $825 security deposit because he died without giving 30 days notice.
Troy Matthew Gentzler confessed to tossing rocks at cars from an overpass on Interstate 83 near York, Pennsylvania. But his lawyer claimed he was the victim of "Roid rage," erratic emotional swings caused by steroid use.
In October 1996, Charles S. Shapiro begged the Montgomery County, Maryland, court to allow him to change his plea to not guilty of hiring a hit man. He claimed his judgment had been impaired because he had ingested tranquilizers along with a bottle of Tums before confessing.
A Saint Louis, Missouri, man argued that the reason the jury found him guilty of stealing court documents wasn't that it had been prejudiced against him. The man claimed he was demonized because the judge allowed the jury to learn he was a lawyer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:35 am
From now on, it’ll never be said that airport ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. We dug up a few actual (or at least claimed to be) logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.
Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on backorder.
Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.
Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That’s what they’re there for!
Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.
Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Problem: Radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed radar with words.
Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem: Suspected crack in windscreen.
Solution: Suspect you’re right.
Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Problem: Number 3 engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
By the way, according to the report, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. Really inspires alot of confidence doesn’t it?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 12:58 pm
rofl rofl rofl I love this thread! rofl rofl rofl
I came upon a rather interesting yet funny fact in my email today...did you know in Quitman, Georgia it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road? rofl It's true! That's an actual law! lol.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 6:48 pm
D3lir1um rofl rofl rofl I love this thread! rofl rofl rofl I came upon a rather interesting yet funny fact in my email today...did you know in Quitman, Georgia it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road? rofl It's true! That's an actual law! lol. im glad you like it!! 4laugh talking about laws, this is an actual law from st. louis, MO: A milk man may not run while on duty.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:54 am
I live right by Chester, which is seriously old, anyway they have this law (which still applies today) that you are aloud to kill a man off one of the the mews, providing that you do it with an arrow and that he has stolen your sheep.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:16 am
Redneck jokes:
1 you might be a redneck if your wife comes runnin' out o' the bathroom half naked yelling, "hey guys! come look at dis b'fore i flush it!"
2 you might be a redneck if you think loading the dish washer is gettin your wife drunk.
3 you might be a redneck if you have more cars parked on your lawn than in your garage
4 you might be a redneck if you work outside with your shirt of and so does your husband.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
