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'This has to be my fav.....

A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. St. Peter asks him, "May I help you?"

The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"

Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."

The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."

Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"

"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."

Peter says, "Sorry. We took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodeling."

"What should I do now?"

Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."

The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water.

He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely. "Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"

"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"

Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill."

Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.

The Pagan, hardly believing what he just saw, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"

Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."

ok, i'm totally stealing thes4 from Ivy, but i don't care.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
- dress her up as an altar boy

Heck is for people who don't believe in Gosh.
(these next ones are mine)
An atheist dies and goes to heaven. (lol, that's my favorite)

A Buddhist man dies and at the Gates of heaven he meets St. Peter. St. Peter says, "Go to room 19, but be quiet while passing room 7." The man finds this odd, but goes on his way and says nothing.
Next, a Hindu dies and meets St. Peter at the gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "Go to room 9, but be extremely quiet while passing room 7." He also finds this strange, but procedes to his room.
Finally, an Episcopalian dies and meets St. Peter at the gates of heaven. St. Peter says again, "Go to room 12, but be very quiet while passing room 7." Now, this man was very stubborn and asked, "Why must I be quiet while passing room 7?" St. Peter then replied, "Because that is the Catholic room and they think that they are the only ones up here."

LOL

.... Cameron is an odd, odd individual

I love coming in this fourm, it's fun to read. Lift my spirits.

never mind. sweatdrop I got you in now. xd

OK ! so theres this plane thats going down, and as per most airplane jokes, there is one less parachute than people on the plane. So they draw straws, and a buddhist woman gets the short one. AS the last passenger jumps with his parachute, he tells her to try praying cause it makes death easier to accept. So she kneels and begins to pray, " Oh Buddha, i know i haven't been a very good Buddhist, but if you could find it in your heart to spare me i----" and a voice answers and tells her JUMP! and she thinks ok im gonna die anyway, whynot earlier? So she jumps and instead of falling 3000 ft, she lands in a giant green hand! She is amazed and shouts "THANK GOD" the green hand flips over.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAh i love that joke, but no one gets it!