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 Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 5:27 pm
9.3.05- The Tiny Apartment Blues.
Posted By Emo as a Journal Entry.
Currently, we are relocating to a new apartment on the east side of town so Aponi and I can live more of a quiet life...Also, we're a bit broke with all the shopping I've done for him. I've already moved his mountain of heavy Japanese decor to the new house, and he doesn't much care for his new surroundings. He hates the dirty white rug, but a good shampoo should brighten him up. Ugh, I can't believe I have to paint those wall designs again.
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2005 1:35 pm
9.5.05- The Tiny Apartment Blues P-II.
Posted By Emo as a Journal Entry.
I shampooed that awful carpet today, and you wouldn't believe the horrors I've seen. Ugh. Cat hair, blood stains, vomit, this place is nasty. I had to go through three industrial strength bottles of disinfectant for his room and the bathroom alone. The kitchen took another bottle, and my room, thankfull, only took half. Now that everything is sparkling clean and lemon smelling, I can finally move all of the furniture in.
I'm a bit upset about the lack of canopy window, maybe I can earn up enough spare cash to put in a window for the livingroom. I jknow Aponi misses his favorite little seat by the window.
He's been spending a lot of time with Malachite lately, the two seem to be becoming a nice pair of friends. I think that would be Aponi's only close connection at the moment, besides myself, that is. Although he and Nothing's boy get along nicely every time they see one another. Aponi is getting more grown up every day. He's even started wearing these incredible short little skirts from my closet, he's dressing like a hormonal teenager. This one seems to be his favorite, and has taken place of his shorty shorts.
I think he's finally found his style, that little Chameleon.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 4:25 pm
10.4.05- Underwear and a Panda Bear.
Posted By Emo as a Journal Entry.
Oh boy, Aponi recieved quite the embarassing moment today.
We were on our daily rounds, health store, herbals, a bit of make-up shopping and what-not. Aponi was skipping along beside me, holding a rather large bag filled with vegitables, and chattering about those adorable little panda backpacks he saw in the shop a few blocks back. Caught up, as he often gets, in his conversation and his skipping, he didn't notice we were stepping off of a rather crumbly looking sidewalk, tripping over a few spare rocks, and landed bum-up on the ground, squashing the potatoes in his bag.
He blushed wildly, his face looked like a cherry! He scrambled off the ground, putting the rounded potatoes back into the bag and covering his bottom with his hand, holding his skirt down like it was going to run away form him if he let it free. Even though his little underwear was showing, he was more worried about the potatoes on his favorite shirt and the fact that a few older boys were staring at him like he was a weirdo and snorting over his accident. He was so devistated, he practically leaped to the car and buried himself in the seat, fumin and squirming as he flicked away spare piees of vegi mush form his shirt.
I couldn't help but pick him up one of those little panda bags and stash it away for him, but ofcourse, he leaped on me when I got back to the car and strapped the pack on. He hasn't taken it off since.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 11:28 pm
10.9.05- FlashBacks.
Posted By Aponi as a Journal Entry.
I found a bunch of funny looking socks in Mama's drawer, they were really loose and fat, and hung low on my legs when I tried them on. They didn't even have feet for them, so I guessed she either ruined them with her scissors and projects, or they weren't socks at all. One of them is completely lime green, another is Hotpink with black dots. I took those ones for myself. I hope she doesn't mind.
I've been looknig through a lot of catologues lately, and I found one filled with holloween costumes and weird Japanese convention clothes called 'Cosplay'. Mama knows all about it, she's weird like that. She said that I could pick out a cosplay outfit for halloween if I wanted to, I think I want to dress like the girl in the Bear pajamas.
After I looked through all of those books, I drew some pictures. Nothing different, I drew a lot of birds today. I love birds, and so does Mama.
Oh, and she says the socks are 'legwarmers.' and were very popular in the 80's. There much better than normal socks, she even has some with lace. Just another thing for me to snatch from her, I suppose.
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:53 am
11.2.05- Happy Halloween!
Posted By Emo as a Journal Entry.
Halloween was...fun.
My little Oni-Chan was a beautiful angel, with these gorgeous hand-made wings, I would have told him they were crow feathers but he probably would have refused to touch them.
I took him out from about 7:30 to 9, he had a wonderful time, except for those damn brats that kept trying to snatch his candy bag when I let him walk in front of me. He stayed pretty close to my side after that, trying as best he could not to shovel candy in before we got to the next house.
We met up with a friend of mine, Adam, he had a Paper bag over his head with eye holes and was doing a poor version of the robot for candy. Aponi was a little frightened of him, but after he did a special...and horrible dance for Oni, my little one seemed to warm up to him.
By the time we got home, his face was stained with inky sugar spray and chocolate smudges, he couldn't wait to jump into his bathrobe and watch scary movies, but he soon snuggled up beside me and fell into a chocolate-enduced daze. He's already making plans for next year. How wonderful it is to have a child on halloween.
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2005 8:58 pm
11.11.05- Rubbish and Food Stuffs.
Posted By Aponi as a Journal Entry.
I never knew what christmas was until Emo took me through town today and I spotted a whole isle of glass and plastic ornaments. I had heard it before, ofcourse, but I never really knew what a "Santa" was and why people hauled trees through their front doors in the wintertime.
Mama told me that I'd get a few presents in December as celebration of Christmas, I thought I'd only get things on my birthday...and if I acted cute and begged real hard.
It's not even Thanksgiving yet and we're seeing Christmas stuff everywhere. It's so tempting to write down everything I wanted, I shall have to make my list early. She said I can send it to Santa, straight to the northpole...I think it's a load of rubbish, but as long as I'm getting presents, who cares!
As for Thanksgiving, Mama is planning on getting a tofu turkey and a load of asparagus. She doesn't like to eat birds, she says that snapping off their wings makes her uncomfortable. She's even going to make pumpkin pie. I don't know what Thanksgiving is all about, but I love sweets.
The next two months are going to be better than I expected. Mama said we might be getting a kitty.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 11:52 pm
11.24.05- Thanksgiving.
Posted By Aponi as a Journal Entry.
I'm stuffed! Who would have known that thanksgiving required so much food. The turkey wasn't tofu, but some other type of substitute, it tasted more lke chicken soup then a turkey. There were mashed potatoes with butter and gravy, and a can of cranberry that looked like jello.
I spent all day lounging around and eating, I feel so chubby. I tried to draw, but the food left me so tired, I ended up napping for about five hours on the livingroom floor with sheepy.
I had a weird dream, there was a guy with a blue handerchief over his face and pale skin, he acted like he didn't know me when we were around people, but then, when we were alone, we would act like best friends. Then, I was riding on a bike with Emo's boyfriend down a paved street, all I remember was looking at a dumpster and feeling very calm. When I woke up, I felt ill.
I'm still tired, I think I'll get to bed for the night, Mama would freak out if she knew I was up so late.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 8:07 pm
12.8.05- Baby's First Nightmare.
Posted by Emo as a Journal Entry.
It was 4:30 in the morning when Aponi had his first serious nightmare. I could hear muffled crying drifting so elequently down the hallway, at first I though he had woken up, been unable to fall asleep, and began listneing to his records...but a tingle his my stomach and I had to creep to his room to see what that dreadful moaning was.
I peered through the crease of the open door to his bedroom, same shadowy white walls, same lump of child under the covers, but he shook with such violent spasms I thought he was seizing! ofcourse, I rushed to his side and lifted him up to slowly pat his back, but that soon led to him startling from a dreadful dream and sobbing into my arms.
He was trembling, and even more pale than usual, his little fists were so clenched and his hair was plastered about his forehead in sweat. He clung to me, shaking, for nearly a half hour before I could get a word out of him.
He said he was sitting in the middle of a stone labyrinth, the sky was grey and crimson droplets clung to the brown, dried foliage which sprung through the cracks of the tiled floor. Birds began to fill the sky, black with beating red eyes, they darkened the floor and obscured the faint sun and carried him off in a black landslide. He closed his eyes, only to find himself in a blood-stained bathroom. There was dripping, he could hear someone's struggled breathing.
An invisible hand grabbed his mouth and forced him to the wall, he could feel snakes slithering up his back like whips. His body became red and pointed until he bled from every vein. He saw the face of his obscured intrudor, it had only half a jaw and dark hair, with hte most frightening white eyes. Then, he felt a lashing on his back, and awoke to find himself bathed in sweat and clinging to my shirt.
I managed to lull him to sleep , but he wouldn't let me leave his bedside. He scared me with his serious demeanor, I wanted so badly to tell him it was nothing; I can't tell him it was only a dream, for every dream means something.
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 8:42 pm
12.12.05- School Daze.
Posted by Emo as a Roleplay.
Aponi sat on the surface of the cold bathroom sink, one of his trademark crazy-pattern skirts frilled over his legs, his black pannier showing delicatly through the tule fabric. He stared at his reflection in the irror, studying his features. He noticed he had rather large eyes and dark lashes, even without the use of make-up. He studied his chin, his nose, his eyelids draped so subtly in hotpink shadow and a slight underlay of black. He thought he must look unusual, almost like a little girl...he thought it odd, but excused the fact as all of his friends seemed to look this way, too.
He flattened the collar of his shirt, running his finger over his bottom lip. Partially chapped, but none the less a defining feature.
He pulled on a pair of black legwarmes with dark pink stripes, trying to avoid the dripping faucet and the mounds of make-ups and hair dye he had skewn about while preparing for school.
It was his first day, he wondered if Mal would be there.
"Aponi, are you ready yet?"
The pale face swarmed into a flurry of worry, he whined a little as he couldn't find an appropriate cover up for his chapped lip, but he knew Mama would refuse to let him waste carpool time because he couldn't find an appropriate lipstick. She didn't think such a little boy should wear make-up as it is; he hopped from the counter, hopeful.
"I'm ready."
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Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 8:39 pm
12.14.05- School Daze, P-II.
Posted by Emo as a Roleplay.
Aponi stared nervously at the cascading wave of children attacking the dirt of the playground with such anxious feet, he dusted off his own clothing just to feel clean again. He tugged fretfully at Emo's hand, his nails digging so ferociously into her skin she had to slap his bottom a few times jsut so he'd stop prying under her flesh.
"Aponi. Don't be scared, my child."
She cooed, stroking back his feathery hair. The already experienced mother knew how to calm her child, yet he seemed so frightened by his surroundings, she felt he wasn't listening to her voice. His eyes were clearly swarming along to landscape, both fearing and adoring the other boys and girls rushing past, unaware of the oddly dressed little boy who looked like a girl.
Aponi looked up to his mother, eyes squinty and slightly pink, and this time it wasn't only form the eyeshadow. Emo frowned back, dropping to her heels and hugging him close.
"Ni, all these children are just like you, they're young and nervous and new to this place, just as you are. I'm sure you'll find plenty of little friends, and perhaps your little green-haired friend will be here. The two of you are good friends, aren't you?"
"Yes."
Aponi wiped his cheek, twitching nervously, and let his grip go. Emo seemed pleased that her little boy was leaving for school, he would learn what she could not teach, but she was so frrightenend for him. She knew how the other little boys would act towards him, she only hoped they would be kinder then children had been to her.
"You promise to listen to your teacher, and listen well, and be very polite."
"Yes mama."
"I love you."
"I love you, too...do I have to stay here forever?"
Emo smiled for the first time in what seemed like hours, stroking back his ever falling hair once again.
"No. Just until 3, then I'll come get you. Right here."
The pale boy gripped his lunchbox, the black tin reflecting in the early morning's half-hidden sun. He nodded, sighing heavily before trodding, one foot in front of the other, into the schoolyard. There were many eyes, Aponi could feel them burning scars into his legs and painted-up eyes.
Emo waved, returning to her car, there was already a painful lump in her throat. They would be cruel, she just wanted to pretend they wouldn't. There was really nothing she could do.
The pale child shaded his face behind his hand, rushing towards the restroom, he could hide in a stall until the bell rang, then he's follow his schedule to his homeroom, sit close to the teacher, and be home before he knew it.
When he reached for the handle of the boys restroom, he heard a shout from only a few feet away. He gave a curious glance to a group of young men leaning against the wall who seemed to whisper, 'That girl is going in the wrong bathroom.' Aponi's face went pink and he slinked into the bathroom, avoiding the stares of two occupants and sneaking into an empty stall, already uncomfortable.
"Please come back soon, mama."
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:45 am
12.28.05- Celebrating Gifts-mas.
Posted by Aponi as a Journal Entry.
Christmas is magical! The tree mama picked out was very tall, and not so fat, but so green and fresh that it mad ehte whole livingroom smell like pine needles and particles of water.She strung up white lights, and I begged her to never turn them off, I even begged her to let me sleep underneath the tree with my presents.
Even so, they didn't last long, I was up at six in the morning on christmas day digging candies and wristbands and jewlry and such from my stocking. To my surprise, Mama put a nice shade of black lipstick and some white face make-up in the bag. SHe also got me a thick book called, 'Memoirs of a geisha.' The geishas wear white make-up and it makes them look so stunning, maybe that's why she got me the white powder, because she knows how much I like to look as delicate as possible.
As for my presents, I got a long, flowy robe made out of silk, it's black with white orrcids on the sleeves and chest, and maroon stitching on the bottom and at the very base of the sleeves. The collar is a stunning white as well, and makes me look just like the geisha on hte cover of the book. I don't know why mama has decided to introduce me to all of this japanese tradition, but I really don't mind all of tehse beautiful gifts.
I also got a blanket made out of a nice plushie fabric with a picture of a butterfly on it, it's a blue one with black spots on it's wings. The background is unclear, it's completely shadowed by the beauty of the butterfly. Mama gave me a few more gifts, including a blue butterfly hair pin, a few pairs of pinstripe pants and some new striped socks, and even a corset with a lace collar.
Free gifts are awesome, I'm so glad it comes every year!
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:12 pm
1.07.06- Late Shopping and Mal's Gift.
Posted by Emo as a Journal Entry.
Aponi and I went to the mall today to grab a few late presents for family and friends. I found a few nice outfits for my cousins, and tons of little toys and games for the younger ones. My boyfriend recieved quite a snazzy Naruto headband and a Kakashi Keychain, along with a 50$ certificate for EB Games. Now he can replace me with Warcraft, Joy!
Aponi was rather quite the whole time, his eyes fixated on every little thing he passed like he was counting the lines on the barcodes. After a long time spent searching through feathered things, and leather what-nots, he squeaked, "I've found it!" and went to digging through a pile of shoes to hold up these rather...interesting creepers.
I couldn't help but laugh, but he was very serious. The things were on black platforms, but not too high, and the entire top above the platformed area was covered in a lush, green, fuzzy, feather-like material. There were thin, hard black laces and a black skull patch on the heel of each, imprinted into the green like a scar.
"Is that for you?"
"Nope. It's for Mal."
I came a bit closer, tucking my bags under my arm to touch the limegreen fuzz. They must've been two inches high in the platform, and they surely were eye-catching.
"You think he'll wear um?"
"Of course!" He chimed, "They're green, and they're cute, and I think he'll love them."
I let a smile drift onto my face, I never knew he was so fond of his little friend as to get all worked up over a pair of overgrown shoes. Still, in his moment of triumph, I couldn't help but play around with him.
"Well, I didn't know you had." I picked up the tag form the pair of gaudy shoes and looked it over, smirking. "Fifty-Eight dollars."
His jaw dropped, he looked at the shoes with a mopey gaze, then back to me, then to his own shoes, then to me again. Then it clicked, and his face became a mixture of distraught eyes and a petty little smile.
"Oh, mama, all I wanted was to get a gift my my only friend. Now, I can't ge thim anything, and he'll think I hate him."
Then his smile dropped to a half frown as he continued his sob story.
"And then I'll have no friends, and people will pick on me at school and call me names and 'loner' and 'loser'. Then I'll have to move and start over again at another school, but they'll know all about me because of the internet and their friends, and i'll have to run away, and I'll never go to college and I'll make minimum wage in a warehouse and never be able to afford another pair of shoes again!"
By this time, he was red in the face. He's rather good at making up excuses and stories to get what he wanted. I wasn't going to deny him the present in the first place, but his excuses always sent me reeling.
After a few laughs at his extremly out of hand tale, I agreed, he smiled in his triumph, and we came home with a pair of fuzzy green shoes for Malachite.
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:58 pm
2.01.06- Babe in tween-land.
Posted by Emo as a Journal Entry.
Aponi is growing up. When did this happen!?
I can't belive I haven't noticed these subtle changes, each one forming him into a precocious tween with the most bizarre persona a child in my family has ever had. Not to mention these clothes I'm letting him get away with, I'm surprised the school hasn't called with a 'failure to comprehend dress code' complaint. He's taken quite a liking to feathers as of late, everything form birds to boas, and his love affair with the color pink is raging, too. He's found an attraction to white blouses, all very elegant in appearance, which I simply adore. He's got the fashion sense of his mama.
Speaking of which, on another shopping route, we happened to stop into Spencer's and he found himself a plethora of explicit content not meant for little boy eyes, and somehow, I was tricked into purchasing a lavish red boa for him to flaunt. He gets so many weird glances, but I think he's becoming so emersed in himself he doesn't notice anymore. I suppose that's how it is with all teens, all that matters for a while is how they look and whose looking at them. As long as I keep an eye on our surroudings, I'm sure he'll have few problems with his feminine appearance.
I've let his hair grow out quite a bit, it's shaggy and spikey, and he's damn well in love with it. He's so busy with his appearance lately, what a little queen. If only he'd act as grown up as he looked, he spends half of his time playing 'dress up' and the other half asking me to fetch him things. He's not a babe anymore...responcibility.
Perhaps I should get him a mouse or a little bird, just a little thing to care for, he needs a pet. He could learn a lot from a little creature. He needs something to share his girly chatter with when I'm out of the house or Mal's not home. I think he needs to find a few freinds, I don't think Aponi's social enough, he's certaintly comming out of his shell though.
Maybe we should move to West Hollywood.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:04 pm
2.04.06- The Confrontation.
Posted By Aponi as a Journal Entry.
Today wasn't a good day, but days haven't been so good since school has started. I'm finding that people tend to be less accepting of others to heighten their own self image, when your little you don't worry about things like that. Everyone is just a kid.
When I was younger, most people thought I was a little girl. Boys don't laugh at girls when they wear skirts and eye-shadow. Even a few of my teachers thought I was a girl, and it was like a suit of protection. I'm not saying I liked being thought of as a girl, I just didn't mind it. Afterall, girls are often pretty and delicate. It was like a compliment. Well, my point is, when I was smaller I wasn't made fun of.
I kept to myself, and never used the restroom at school, I'm sure even if I did head into the boy's room people would just think I was a little girl who couldn't tell the difference of the signs. People left me alone, and I didnt mind, but now that I'm attempting to be social things are much more obvious. People do nothing but stare, and laugh, and fill their eyes with hate just to make me uncomfortable. Today someone i've never even met left me with bruises for no reason other than I look different. I...don't really understand.
Mama's beeen asking me what's wrong since yesterday afternoon, I just keep telling her I feel sick. I don't want her to worry about me, I don't want her thinking I can't go anywhere without being threatened...Why are people so cruel.
-----
Friday- Around 3PM.
Aponi looked happy enough, his little green backpack hanging loosely form his right shoulder, sheepie's head barely visible from underneath the button-close top of the bag. The feminine youth was dolled up, as per usual, his hair was down and unstyled, messy as always, hiding his dark green eyes, obscuring the hot-pink and black mixtured of eyeshadow on his upper eyelids. A thick black line of eyeliner defined his lower lashes.
He was dressed rather formal today, a black pinstripe vest with silver buttons and hotpink stripes, and a white, billowy shirt underneath that exposed just a touch of his bellybutton. Finished off with his favorite pink shoes with the skull patch, and a pressed black skirt that made it's way mid-thigh and was held up by black suspenders. Knee-high socks with black lace finihsed his girly 'uniform'. He was so proud of his style, although that's what made him a target. Not only was he girly in appearance, but he was a down right coward.
And what perfect timing for your average macho man stereotype to reach out a leg and stomp on the ground before Aponi's foot, sending the lad into a face-down fall onto hard cement. Aponi saw pure white for a moment or so before his vision returned, and he sat himself up, delicatly prodding at his throbbing nose. No blood, surprisingly, but the entire surface area of his snout was already cherry red. He dusted his chest off, looking up at the snarling face of the foot responsible.
His stomach seemed to jump into his chest for protection, before being denied by a deep inhale from his lungs, which sent it right back into the pit of his torso. Needless to say, the sight of the bully made Aponi feel like vomiting. He was thick, form his neck to his fingers, and he didn't really look friendly.
"Aren'tcha gonna get up, you little f**?"
Slightly shocked by the sudden abuse, the youth grabbed at his bag and hugged it to his chest. He could feel the tears of hurt feeling tickling his eyes, and he attempted to scitter away, only to be stopped by a well-forced push on his shoulder.
"Where ya goin', p***y? "
Aponi gulped down his nerves, his legs felt stiff with the threat in the air, yet he managed to keep his legs moving without so much as stumbling. The boy was intent on making a physical confrontation out of this, for whatever deep rooted reason.
Go away, go away, go away.
The bully wasn't going to simply let his prey get away, he reached a trunk of an arm for Aponi, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and attempting to pull him onto the ground again, an amused sneer on his plump face. His intentions were unclear to Aponi, but he knew it was best to try to struggle free and run home.
"C'mon, I bet you've been on your back plenty of times, a girly looking f*****t like you."
The pale-haired tween whimpered, pulling away, squealing, tears hitting his cheeks like he was already receiving the beating he was so sure would come. He reached out his hand, rather boldly, and scratched his painted nails at the offender's face. Overpowered, he was tossed onto the cement once again, this time a hard smack onto his elbow left him a little less than able to make an agile escape. He cradled his elbow, trying not to sob. Why was he being tossed around by this stranger? Because of his clothes? He didn't even know what a 'f*****t' was but judging from the other boy's actions, it must have been something that looked just like Aponi.
"Look at you, your a ******** freak. Didn't your dike mom ever tell you skirts are for girls, or is your whole family retarded?"
The pale youth felt his cheeks flush hot red, almost as brightly as his injured nose, he didn't know what all of these crude words meant, but he knew his mother wasn't retarded. He sneered, courage showing in his eyes for a breif moment before a foot met his stomach. He winced, curling up like an injured dog, his attempts to run were on the floor with the rest of him.
"L-LEAVE ME ALONE!"
He squealed like a mouse caught in a trap, and in time the shouts of a bystander were heard and the offender stopped his kicking. Only his footsteps were heard as the bulky youth trotted off, Aponi could've swarn he heard the brute giggling like a child.
While sobbing in a curled ball on the side of the once-empty street, Aponi felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder, and a worried voice asking his name and 'Are you okay, little girl?'. He drew back, holding his stomach, he felt as if he were dying, the kicks left him breathless and aching. He reached along the ground for his bag, his achy frame struggling as he wretched free of the concerned stranger and ran the familiar path home, eyes red as his nose, and cheeks wet.
Once he reached home, he ran past the empty livingroom and slammed his door behind himm, throwing himself into a sobbing pile on his bed. He hadn't done anything to deserve being beaten like a damn punching bag, he could barely bend over due to the major collection of bruises on his abdomen and his elbow still stung. His clothes were dirty and his stomach felt swollen and hard. He stripped of his clothing and took to hiding in the shower for the next hour or so, washing the confusion of unneccessary shame and most of the achine form his body. He didn't tell Mama.
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