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 Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:47 pm
Withdrawal -- Past
His hands shook uncontrollably, his body felt like it would snap in half. The pain was nagging and he could feel the bile rising in his throat. On top of that, he longed for the needle full of heaven. He needed it so much he could taste the effects on his tongue. He lay curled, his trembling body clinging to itself in an attempt to try and stop the pain.
"N...N..." He tried to shout Nishi's name, to tell the stupid man what a complete b*****d he was. He wanted to scream and yell, to unleash the anger pumping through his starved veins. But most of all, he wanted Dak to come back. To take him to his drug-fueled haze. He needed it, despite the beatings, despite the johns he was made to go with. He needed it. Tears pooled in his sleep-deprived eyes, tracing down his sleep circles. He wanted to go back to Korea.
He lurched to the side despite the physical pains and expelled the contents of his stomach, coughing and hacking at the foul taste now coating his mouth and throat. He heaved again, his empty stomach painfully squeezing to try and get rid of something that was not there. He lay limp over the edge of the bed, drained yet not able to sleep. This was a reccuring thing, Nishi came in to check on him every few hours, since Hae had outright refused to go into some Rehab so he could be drugged up and left to dry, so they made it as painless as possible. It would just make him go back all the easier! He had to take the full brunt of it. His eyes tiredly lifted when the door creaked open and he watched Nishi flick the light on.
"Hae."
"What? go away." Hae answered irritably, glaring at Nishi. Nishi shook his head and walked over, carefully of the mess on the floor. He pulled Hae to a sitting position. "Are you sure you don't want to go to Rehab? It will be much easier there." He asked as he walked around the room, picking out the supplies now kept in there so he could clean the rug he had put down to protect his carpet. Hae glowered at him, tiredly flopping back to lie down, still watching Nishi.
"Yes. I'll go back on it if it's too easy." Hae commented, climbing off the bed when Nishi instructed him to do so. He felt like an old person or a sick child. He had lost his independence somewhere. Nishi wouldn't even let him have a phone or make a call without him being in earshot of it. The pains were still there, niggling at him as he stood. Nishi directed him to go shower up and Hae snorted, but went without any further complaint.
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:23 pm
Looking Back -- Past.
"Hae, this is Dak-Lin. My cousin" Liza had introduced him to the most dangerous and sexy looking person he had ever clapped eyes on. He was everything Hae was not, he oozed a sort of dangerous quality tinged with that fine hint of sex. It was all he could do to not stare. He felt himself flush faintly, before he thought it off.
"Hello." Hae had answered in his most nonchalant voice, perched on the metal seats of the smoking shelter. College had ended but they always hung around to chat and the like for a while. Today Liza had introduced her cousin and Hae was interested. His attention piqued. The other wasn't like the others. He was a good boy. Still a virgin and he didn't drink or do drugs, he was his grandparents perfect little grandson. His lips pursed as he sent surreptitious glances at the other through his pale eyelashes. It was all he could do, Dak would never want to start anything. So when the other moved to sit beside him, Hae had stiffened in alarm.
"Do you...want to go out some time?" Dak had asked in a nervous tone, catching Hae off guard. He stared up at the punk-styled male. to the styled and half-buzzed floppy mohican hair of ruby, to the dark brown eyes and pierced face. He felt himself nod, flinching his gaze to the side. "Sure."
It was painful how he could recall the exact moment his life had crashed. Every sound, smell and touch flooded his mind in perfect recollection. Even worse, a part of his body still longed for Dak's acceptance. Even with Faythe, it was the small part of him that had duped itself into Dak's lies. Into thinking that Dak was the only one in the world that cared. He curled up on the bed he and Faythe shared, the ring glittering on his finger as he recollected himself. He had to sort through this shut off past, make it so it didn't hurt. He had to ready himself to tell Faythe. but already, he could feel the tears.
"It's perfectly fine. Try it." Dak had soothed as he sat naked on the bed next to Hae, holding a thin needle full of clear liquid. Hae sat across from him, just as bare and looking uncertain. The TV droned in the background, the only intrusion in the dimly lit room. Dak had been his boyfriend for a couple of weeks now, after a few months of successful dates and meetings. This wasn't the first time they were to go to bed with eachother. But it was the first time with this.
"I dunno, Dak. Liza said you sold this..but..." Hae's eyes flicked to the needle, and then to Dak. Who was looking at him with a sort of eager expression. Hae sighed and took the tie from Dak, tying it around his upper arm so a vein would show. Dak grinned and scooted closer. "It makes it all the better, babe. It takes it all away." He murmured in Hae's ear as the needle slid into his skin, injecting the addictive chemical into his body. His body had flushed hot to cold, then the cocaine had gotten to work.
They never went to bed without hitting up beforehand after that.
The tears were flowing thick and fast now, but Hae was silent. His eyes determined. He had blocked a good portion out. Like the times Dak had invited 'friends' over who had taken him until he couldn't move anymore. Or the beatings. The beatings were the worst. His hand wrapped tightly around Acolyte, drawing strength from the purring orb.
He could still taste what it was like to have the drug in him, faintly feel the throb of need. But he was better then it now. He didn't need it anymore. His life was good and full. He was marrying Faythe, he didn't have to go back to Korea ever again. He would never see Dak again. Life was happier.
"Goddammit, Hae! Just one more! We need ******** money to get a ******** hit!" Dak had bellowed at Hae. Who sat on the bed, staring at him through tear-filled eyes. His nose was broken for sure. His lip bust and his eyes were sore, he'd have a black eye in the morning. All because he was sick of being used. He felt so degraded that he had started scratching and cutting himself as punishment. His arms were a mess. He watched Dak rage, past the point of wondering where his loving boyfriend had gone. He had died months ago, on the night they had first taken the drugs together.
"I don't want to sleep with anymore men, Dak. They're not nice. I feel horrible." Hae whimpered, flinching back when his eyes narrowed in anger. He knew he was in for it rough when they couldn't get a hit. The beatings got worse then. There had been more then one occassion where he had had to sign himself into hospital due to how severe they had gotten. He watched Dak through lightless eyes, scratching at his arm. He needed a hit too, but it wasn't worth it to get abused like that. It was borderline rape.
Dak had raped him once. Hae remembered what it was like before and after only, the act had been blocked from his memory again. He was glad for that suppressive quality. He could hear Acolyte trilling a song to soothe him and it helped a little. He sent the orb a watery smile. Luckily Faythe would not walk in if he had shut the door. Or that much he hoped. He didn't need the other getting concerned or guilty for him just yet. He was nearly done from what he could think of.
He could nearly do it.
The rape had been the last straw. Because straight afterwards Dak had beaten him into unconciousness. When he had come around the other wasn't around. He had packed his things and left, taking the car that Dak left there for him to use. He'd dump it at the airport or by a station or something. He wanted the other to know that he had gone. He had driven off at 2am.
His vision blurred and he tried focusing on the road, but whatever had knocked him out before was biting him again. His head lolled to the side and his hand left the wheel, causing the car to jerk off the road. He distantly heard a made frenzy of a car horn sounding. But that was all he could remember as he passed out.
"Hey! Hey!" He felt a frantic shoving at his shoulder and frowned, cracking his eyes open. His vision stayed blurry before clearing, revealing the person who had awoken him. The blue eyes were full of concern, brown hair ruffled.
"Oh good, you're awake. The ambulance is on it's way." The man sounded relieved and it was only then that Hae noticed that he was lying on grass. He sat up and looked to the side, his eyes clapping on the two totaled cars that had plowed into a tree, one angled in a way that you could see it had been trying to stop them. What was this guy, evil knevil?! He stared at him, probably looking as confused as he felt. "Oh!" The man said, smiling.
"You don't remember do you?" He asked, taking Hae's disbelieving face for an answer. "You passed out at the wheel, from all those injuries you've got there. I maneuvered the car so you didn't hit the hall quite so hard and fast." He explained in an airy tone. Hae distantly heard the wail of the ambulance and behind it, that of a police car and fire engine. Well sure, the cards could catch fire. He could smell petrol.
"Why on earth would you put yourself in danger like that?" Hae asked finally, wincing as he shifted his weight to his other hand. That was definately broken somewhere. He shifted back and straightened up, before slouching forward. His hand had pins and needles. The man shrugged and looked just behind him, where the sirens and flashing lights were now approaching from. "Because I could." He answered, smiling again. "I'm Nishi. Nishi Merlin."
A watery smile dawned on his lips at that memory. He'd known from the get go that Nishi was a complete idiot. He'd smiled too much. He could have killed himself for a stranger and he had hung on. He had nosied into his life and found out everything. It was like god had sent him some defective angel, just to take a break from how utterly ridiculous he was himself. The tears had stopped at least.
Hae dozed on the bed, heavily dosed with pain medication. He'd suffered a concussion, broken arm, broken ribs and internal damage that could back up the rape allegation that Nishi had coaxed Hae into filing. Nishi himself sat next to the bed, having gotten away with bruising and a cut or two. He looked up when the door opened, his eyes narrowing.
"Get the hell out." He hissed, getting up swiftly from his chair, glaring at the ruby-haired man looking at him in disdain. What the hell was he doing here?! How dare he! "He's my boyfriend." The man protested and Nishi's eyes narrowed. "You raped your boyfriend?" He asked, Dak faltered.
"I was under the drugs and.."
"You gave drugs to your boyfriend." Nishi stated icily, glaring further at Dak. Who switched to defensive and glared back. He shoved the bouquet of flowers at Nishi and growled. "Whatever, he'll come crawling back when he needs a hit." He smirked, before leaving, the door snapping shut behind him. Nishi scowled at the flowers before stuffing them in a nearby bin.
"Nishi? why are you putting the flowers in the bin?" Hae asked sleepily, staring at the other with a look caught between amused and unsure. Nishi smiled and kicked the bin aside. "They wilted horribly. I'll buy you some more."
Even if Faythe did dislike him. Even if Hae disliked him at times too. He couldn't deny the fact that Nishi had started the whole domino effect that had gotten him to Faythe. Though it would have been easier to accept if the other didn't like to remind him of that fact.
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Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:09 pm
Telling the Truth
Hae sat on the floor of the living room, his mobile phone cradled in his shoulder as he stared at the letter he had received, listening to the dial tone as he waited for his grandparent's to pick up. Acolyte was happily rocking from side to side on the floor, apparently thoroughly intrigued with the international calling card Hae had purchased while grabbing a couple of extra groceries.
"Hello?" Hae blinked at the suddenness of the voice, having been unaware that he had gone off into daydreams. He smiled at the familiar voice, missing it. "Hi, Grandma." He shifted his hand up to grasp the phone, stretching his now slightly cramped neck out. His smile widened further at the elated jibbering his grandmother was most likely shooting to his grandfather.
"Hae! Oh it's been so long since we've heard your voice. How are you dear?" She asked in quick-paced Korean, tone ecstatic. Hae grinned, glad to at least exercise that. His english had gotten good and he had been worrying that he would start forgetting how to speak his native language. "Sorry about that, Grandma. Life got busy." He answered with a sheepish chuckle. It was so easy to forget his worldly troubles when he heard her voice.
"So, how is Faythe?" She asked and Hae near enough dropped the phone. He tensed his grip when the phone slipped, effectively stopping it from going any further. His face exploded into a multitude of red blushes and he stammered, completely caught off guard. "Eh?!" He choked out, pouting at the laughing he could hear from his grandmother's end. "Nishi told us, dear. We phoned him to make sure he was keeping an eye on you." She explained, Hae's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Oh."
Well he had been planning to tell them right? He picked Acolyte up and dumped him in his, running a forefinger over the smooth, shiny glass of the orb. Acolyte trilled merrily. "...He's good. He...uh..." Great, no preparation at all. He bit his lip, annoyed at the patient silence greeting him from the receiver. "...we're...g-getting married." He stammered, feeling like he could overheat with embarrassment and worry. What if they didn't agree?! (unlikely) or what if Faythe didn't like them?! Worries niggled at him as he waited for his grandmother to reply. The seconds stretched on too long.
"Well dear, we would have liked to meet him before you took such a step.." His grandmother murmured, tone slow and thoughtful. "..but, if this is what you truly want. Then we can not fault your judgment. You have our blessings."
Hae could have fainted from relief.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:50 am
Name • • Hae-Eun Seung
Age • • Twenty - Two
Gender • • Male
Birthdate • • 26th December
Star Sign • • Capricorn
Height • • 5'9"
Weight • • 115lbs
Hair Colour • • Blonde (Originally Black)
Hair Style • • Short and Layered
Eye Colour • • green
Likes • • Lollipops, Sleep, Faythe, Kisses, Keeping a Journal, Chatting, Red Wine.
Dislikes • • No Sleep, Winter, Rain, his natural hair colour, his past, Rehabs, Nishi teasing him, Dak-Lin.
Personality • • To himself, Hae-Eun will open up once you dig deep enough, most of the time he acts a little aloof and doesn't tend to say much about himself. He's kind of mellow.
Hobbies • • Guitar, Sleeping and Travelling.
Occupation • • Bartender and Waiter at Club Cupid
Lover • • Faythe (Avynwing)
Sexual Orientation • • Gehey~
Sexual Status • • Deflowered
Marital Status• • Taken
Background • • Hae-Eun lived in Korea until he was Nineteen, having lived with his boyfriend Dak-Lin after failing college. He was heavily on Cocaine (mainly liquid form) for the three years that they were together and only quit after Dak beat him so bad that he passed out. He met Nishi in a car accident a few hours afterwards and moved over to stay with him while he went to Rehab.
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