Welcome to Gaia! ::

I agree most whole-heartedly. One thing I'd like to mention is that in ANY case regarding sexuality, pressuring people to do things that feel wrong to them is in fact, wrong itself.

In a lot of cases, cybering is a mutual agreement, but there are many, many situations where people are pressured and made to feel badly if they choose not to. I should know, I'm one of them.

I had a sexually agressive boyfriend who pressured me into cybering and looking at pornographic artwork he had drawn. Afterwards, I felt sick inside, and felt as though I had given part of myself away to someone who didn't appreciate it.

I couldn't get the mental images of the pictures out of my head, and began to feel self-conscious about the fact that I didn't look one bit like the girls he drew...I didn't have huge boobs, couldn't bend in crazy contortionist positions, and I wasn't exactly a Playboy Bunny. The relationship ended soon afterwards because in the end, I couldn't measure up to the porn star image he wanted in a girlfriend, and I didn't want to. I wanted to be myself, and to give myself to someone who loved me enough to marry me, despite my imperfections and lack of pole-dancing ability.

I've been made fun of and thought of as "frigid" and "intolerant" for refusing to cyber, look at pornography or read stories with high sexual content, but honestly, I'd rather not do things that make my conscience ache at night. Everyone has to make their own decisions in life, and I can't honestly tell people what to do. But I really think I'm beginning to realize WHY Christ tells us to "flee from sexual immorality."

Also, if someone really and truly loves you, they won't ask you to do things that make you feel bad or uncomfortable. It's not intolerent or uncool to say "no" when something doesn't feel right. I'm tired of people being expected to "put out" in ANY way order to fit in, be thought of as "cool," or be loved.

I don't want to share my sexuality with anyone but my future husband, whether it is "in person" or "in text" or whatever. If people don't like that, tough cookies-and-milk. I'm not changing my mind. whee

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." ( Matthew 5:27,28 )

That's what Jesus says so that's the most important advice right there. He considers even the thought as adultery. That's pretty clear to me. Doing it and fantasizing it don't seem to have any distinction in God's eyes.

Hope that helps! Its something to think about.

But I can't keep my heart and mind pure and holy. It's hard. I mean, first off, the school I go to has got people who are like that a lot. I hear a lot of stuff like that, and I am so used to it. It makes it easier for me to think of stuff like that. Not calling anyone bad or anything, but it's hard. And poeple curse all the time. I mean, it is hard.

again right and wrong is only what you make it
so perhaps asking yourself why you feel the way you feel and not if what you feel is right or wrong

Not willing to try what? Cybering? Sex? If I don't feel comfortable doing something, or if it feels wrong to me, I shouldn't do it. Nuff' said.

you didn't even try to do what your partner asked
if you had attempted we would be having a different conversation

doesnt matter