Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sometime tonight I'll snap a picture and see if the dorm internet will let me upload it.

It'll take more time than I thought. I don't have a camera on campus, and I'm wary of wearing my veil where people can see me, since I've already received threats and racial slurs (for some reason, I never expected to be called a "sand ******" when people know that I'm not Arabic).

I haven't worn it since that first day, at least not in public. I usually wear strange things that get my dirty looks, but I've never actually felt like I was in danger for what I wore before. I've been pretty busy laying low since then; I go from the locked dorm room to the dining hall, then back, or from dorm room to car and then to class and back. I still get bad vibes when I'm around other people, and sometimes I catch whisperings from their conversations as I walk by. Not a pleasant experience in the least.

Hehe. I know what it's like to be cold. I got my first scarf to act as a veil because of the cold here last year. And one reason I wanted a niqab was to cover my mouth, since I have bad lungs and cold air coming in directly gives me asthmatic symptoms. The niqab works wonders heating up the air before I breath it in.

I'll have to give it a try some time. At the moment, I'll just drive around in my nice heated car. wink

By the way, I'm going home for the weekend, and I'll have pictures taken there.

thaats awful!is there someone in charge of the dorm you can speak to about this or even just a friend?i live in northern ireland and northern ireland is famous for religious bigotry and political strife.catholics are rare and to look,in my case like a nun,is not a good thing,so i know the feeling. once i had a nasty incident involving a group of girls about this.it was horrible. sweatdrop

I can see why you get stares. You have a very interesting, unusual look, and most people simply aren't equipped to deal with the unusual unless it goes past unusual and right into outlandish. Somehow, they can handle pink and green mohawks, tattoos, piercings, and fishnet stockings under ballerina tutus, a lot easier than they can handle something that's not actually all THAT far out of the ordinary.

It's unfortunate, with the insults that come towards you, but I suspect it's to do with (1) the niqab or scarf, and (2) the camouflage Army trousers. Some people feel very threatened when they see military gear. To be honest, if I didn't already know more about you because of your posts, I might look the other way if I saw you coming, too. Try not to draw attention to myself, because I've lived on and near military bases before, and I've seen some very bad behavior from people in military uniforms -- both military people, and non-military people who were wearing Army jackets or camouflage trousers or combat boots. People who wear these things project an aura, whether they mean to do it or not: "I am just as tough as the military men, but without the Uniform Code of Military Justice hanging over my head to keep me in line."

I don't think you should change who you are, because you're a lot sweeter than your outward attire suggests. You're very cool, very kind, very thoughtful. But while clothes don't make the man, they do sometimes make it easier, or harder, to approach the man. These clothes aren't reflecting who you actually are. I know that each piece has its reason for being there, but all together, they send a message that's in conflict with your true personality. I'd be interested to see you grow in comfort with yourself and your connection with the world, enough to want to project something that's more true to your personality, which is really quite a remarkable one.