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 Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:09 am
Watching as his father departed, Ezriel narrowed his eyes and stood silent as his spaded-spiked tail began to loosen up, followed by his muscles, from all of the tension and the strain as a heavy sigh erupted from out of his maw and a snort from his nostrils. His crimson brows knitted as he closed his eyes- thoughts, emotions and the confusion seemed to leave him questioning the many aspects of himself and those around him.
Two days.
The young mutant stallion needed time to clear his head and to sort out the many ideas and perceptions that littered his mind. What was right, what was wrong? Truth and logic? Destiny or fate? Life or death? Ezriel shook his head and pursed his lips slightly as the darkness within him seeped back into the depths of his mind and soul.
"Two days," he mumbled, glancing to the side just as his brother spoke. Ezriel turned around towards his brother, Dante, and leveled his eyes with his. How could he explain all of this? Or better yet how could he make him understand?
"Yeah- I'll be fine," he replied with his typical low and reserved tone while a cloven hoof pawed restlessly at the ground below. Although his orbs were blackest black and held no light, there was a defined sadness and anger that seemed to give a lustorus and deadly shine.
"I don't know. I never had a f#@$ing clue he was watching me but-," for a moment he turned his head away, fighting back the swell of emotions and torment that seemed to suddenly flood his body, "but he knows something that I dont. Something about myself and what the hell I've been going through; the voices, the pain, the torment- there's a damn part of me that..that is so similiar to him! It makes me wonder if I'm better of being like him and with him rather than having to hide myself and be deemed a damn monster and fiend." It wasn't as if he was wishing to kill and to obliterate the innocent like his father, the young stallion sought to understand himself and perhaps to distance himself out from everyone but the words seemed confusing and unclear just as his conflicted mind began to doubt what he wanted or who he was.
He gritted his teeth, clenching his jaws tight as he shook his head again and grumbled. "I can't let him hurt you, Dante, I can't let him hurt Meera or mom or anyone else! I have no choice! If I refuse then sooner or later he'll return again and not hesitate in the least to kill any of us." A single tear mustered itself to seep from his right eye as the emotions were pressed back. How he hated displaying them, it made him feel weak.
"I'd rather be the one to stand in the way of his attacks then letting our family be at his mercy."
Drawing his head closer, the pale-ghostly stallion carefully nudged against his brothers cheek with respect and care.
"I'm not ready to leave yet. lets head back to Meera, Mom and Glamrock. I need to tell them."
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:25 pm
Dante didn't know what to say to his brother, and he only nodded sadly at his many comments. So.. he was seriously going to consider what their father had said?! That.. wasn't what Dante wanted to hear, at all.. what could he possibly accomplish by meeting him again? That only proved to Dante how hidden his brother was to him.
"I just hope you figure out what it is that is plaguing your mind, Ezriel. I really don't understand any of this.. but hopefully mum and the others will know, right?" With a faked smile, he started to walk next to his brother towards their destination. Home would be better, so people with knowledge could help Ezriel. Maybe his mother would know more about their father, and since they had met him head on, she would surely tell Ezriel all he needed to know.
But still, Dante was frustrated. How did he not know of what his brother had gone through? Was he that dull inside? Was he -again- that useless?
Walking slowly and surely, he finally stopped himself while looking full at his brother. "I'm sorry, Ezriel. I'm sorry because I never know the right thing to say, and I didn't know about any of this.." Picking up his pace again, he hoped that once they got home, he could just roll over and hope for the best for his brother.
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:26 pm
It was too early for much of anything to make sense and the encounter with their father only proved that Ezriel still had yet to make sense of himself and the world around him. The concepts of life itself were bare bones with little meat for the young stallion to grasp, sink his teeth into and find filling yet the pain and the inner torment was enough to drive him to sources who knew the answers that, for so long, had been hidden away from him and unknown.
His cloven hooves meandered softly upon the ground, almost drifting as he walked aside his brother. Ezriel's ears flicked slightly as he glanced aside towards Dante, his shoulders taunt but relenquished their tension to give a minor shrug. "I don't think anyone can understand any of this," he replied as he shook his head, crimson locks drifting just above the ground, "and I didn't want anyone to know. I wanted to take care of it myself- the last damn-tastic thing I needed was to have more people say that I was becoming just like him or want you or Meera to think I'm even any more frightening then I already am."
How his siblings had always tended to keep a careful distance from him had impacated him; making him think that he was not on their level nor never could he. He chose to wander alone and keep to himself by keeping a reserved mask upon himself to keep emotions and the truth from unwanted attention and knowledge. But little did he realize that the invisible mask he wore had slowly numbed himself and had begun the cycle of belief that he was better off alone.
A dangerous thing for one to believe and a dangerous life to live when one is a target by another.
For the moment he continued to feel anger, tired, upset and as if his emotions were mixing and making him sick. It was confusing and it continued to be confusing. Ezriel lowered his eyes towards the ground as they continued.
"It's not your fault. It's mine. I should have told someone- I thought getting advice from that mare a long time ago was enough but everythings changed." His thoughts mulled over the very strange, unexpected encounter with Malis. He bit his lower lip and swayed his tail behind him.
"I don't know what to believe anymore."
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Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:08 am
"Your right, I can't understand anything you are going through." What did Ezriel honestly expect? He and Dante were completely different, and Dante's issues were far polar to what Ezriel dealt with. Who knew if it was the result of their mother's terrible past, but either way, Dante felt more conflicted in his brothers problems then ever before.
It was strange, the stallion was starting to feel a bit defensive. It was best if he got away from his brother, since he didn't want to say anything he would regret. His brother needed to talk with some others by himself, and what could Dante honestly do? Nothing, as usual. "Well, I think if anything, I should leave you to your thoughts. I am only going to bring you down, and I sure don't think you need that right now." With a kind smile, he nudged at his brother as he always did, and took a few strides away from him. "I think first and foremost you should get some rest, and then find everyone in the morning? Why overdo it, you know?"
He couldn't hold his brother back anymore.. his brother needed to do everything on his own, but that was a scenario that usually played out in the end. Dante really was useless, wasn't he? Well, that's what his mind kept assuring to him.
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Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:45 pm
He didn't expect much- but somehow Ezriel just wanted all of the pent up frustration, anger, the sadness and all of the confusing, consuming emotions to be known. Both Ezriel and his brother, Dante, were vastly different and each battled their own demons and struggles and even Ezriel himself had such scattered knowledge of what exactly his brother faced but, one thing was for sure, was that he didn't want his own problems ensnaring his bother or causing anyone else grief. This was his battle! No one else needed to become involved- he'd make sure of it.
The hairs upon his neck bristled slightly as he clenched his jowls, closing his eyes as he felt his brother nudge against his side and stride forwards away from him as distance was put between him. Crimson brows furrowed slightly but Ezriel pushed the emotions aside and simply gave a nod of his head. Dante was right- rest would do him good.
"You're right," he remakred with a low, soft tone as he drew his eyes towards a small patch of coarse grass. His body began to slump and the stallion lowered himself towards the ground, tucking his legs slightly as his spaded-spiked tail laid beside him. "Rest would do us both good."
The mutant lowered his head to the ground as he intook a deep breath through his nostrils and exhaled. Glancing towards his brother, Ezriel gave a small smile and began to let himself be taken hostage into sleep.
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