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 Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 9:35 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 9:36 pm
Night had beaten Inle and her two newest wards home by mere minutes, the sun succumbing to its daily defeat just as the trio pulled into the driveway not in Inle's dilapidated, broken-down van, but in a tow truck called to take said van to a mechanic. Inle nodded a quiet thanks to the driver of the truck, shifting the finally-sleeping infant on her shoulder to open the door and hop out while trying like hell not to jostle the furrier infant sleeping in her messenger bag, of all places. She winced as the driver slammed the door shut after her, shuffling quickly towards the house as the idling engine rumbled, then faded, indicating that the truck had taken its leave--none too soon, as the little boy curled against her shoulder was beginning to stir.
Inle carefully fumbled for her keys, awkwardly rocked the infant, and cursed strange houses and the libraries contained therein all at once. The first proved to be unnecessary as the front door swung open, revealing a little boy bearing a scowl any angry parent would be proud of. "And just where the hell have you been, young la--what the hell is that?!" he asked, pointing an accusing finger up at the fussing infant cradled in Inle's arms and seemingly oblivious to her quiet attempts to shush him.
As if on cue, the baby awoke with a disgruntled cry. Inle rolled her eyes as she pushed past Caduceus, who was still wide-eyed and pointing even after he shut the door behind her. "It's a baby, and you woke it."
"Obviously!" Deuce snapped, deserting bewilderment to resume irritation. "But why do you have it and what is it doing here? You didn't pick up another stray, did you?"
"Look, it's not like I meant to!" Inle's voice rose as the infant's cries rose into full-fledged wails. "Just let me put them down and I'll explain--"
"Them? There's a them? How many of them?"
"Them what?" came a call from deeper within the house.
"Inle brought a bunch of kids home again!" Deuce called back.
Inle's limited parenting experience didn't stand a chance against the crying infant. "It's not a bunch of kids--" she tried again just as she felt her bag move. The otter's head popped out of the opening on top, quickly followed by the rest of her small body as she leapt out, shook herself off, and took in her new surroundings with wide, beady eyes.
"Jesus Christ, is that a weasel?!" Deuce cried, skittering away. The otter, eyes caught by this new, interesting object, followed him. Both infant and otter shrieked loudly once the latter had distanced herself from the former, prompting a second round of wails from the infant that were quickly joined by pained, confused mewls from the otter.
Inle rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. The grunny atop her head projected an image of balloons and streamers and confetti and a big banner that said--
"Yeah. Welcome home."
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2007 9:39 pm
"So."
"Yeah."
"I don't think I want to know..."
"Good, because I wasn't going to tell you anyway."
"I thought you were supposed to stop doing things that might result in children."
"It wasn't my intention to come home with more children."
"And an otter."
"And an otter, yes."
"So where--"
"I don't have to justify my actions to you!"
"...where did you get the otter?"
"Oh. She came with the kid. There were a bunch of kids, and they all had animal...things."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"Been planning to use that line long? With the 'justifying' bit?"
"Ever since I got stuck with the first of you kids."
"Wow."
"Yeah."
"So, while the newest victims are sleeping...should I get the Giant Book o' Names?"
"Nah."
"Nah? What, are we just going to call them both Hey, You and hope they respond?"
"Do you think it would work?"
"I'll get the book."
"No, no...look, the boy's a relatively normal-looking kid, yeah? No glowing anything, or feathers, or silly little headwings--"
"Hey!"
"--So maybe, I dunno, he should have a normal-sounding name. No more drawing names from a hat, or throwing a handful of darts at an alphabet chart, or any of that. Let's try something different. Let's try something ordinary."
"Says the dead woman with a green rabbit attached to her skull."
"How about John? That's about as normal as it gets."
"I'll get the darts."
"No, okay, how about Bob?"
"Come to think of it, I think we got rid of the darts after you promised not to bring any more children home. We've got to have a hat around somewhere, though, right?"
"I don't know, I don't wear hats! How about...hm, how about Ethan? I've always kind of liked that name."
"That's...not too terrible, I guess. Ethan. Okay. What are we gonna call the otter?"
"That, I think, is something we can break out the book for--is that the phone?"
"I think it is--ow! Watch where you're going!"
"Sorry!"
Elsewhere in the house, the otter awoke, determined that no, no one was calling for her, and went back to sleep.
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