Welcome to Gaia! ::

You're so old you helped build Noah's Ark.

You're so old that you when the 10 commandments were given you had a front row view.

There was an elderly man visiting a doctor for his check-up. As he was leaving he asked the doctor if he could recommend a specialist for his wife. "What's wrong with her?" asked the doctor. The old man explained that her hearing was getting so bad that it was almost embarrassing.

The doctor said he knew of several specialists that could help but he wanted the old man to do a little test when he got home to help the doctor determine the severity of her hearing loss. The doctor said "When you get home, make sure your wife's back is turned to you and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond walk closer and ask her again. Keep doing this until she answers and let me know the results".

That night when the old man opened the door of his home he could see his wife in the kitchen preparing dinner. She was at the counter with her back to the door. "What's for dinner?" the old man asked. His wife did not respond so he walks to the doorway of the kitchen and asked the question again. Still, he was greeted with silence. This time he walks up just behind her and asks once again "What's for dinner?" His wife spins around a bit agitated and says "For the third time, Fried Chicken!!"

You know your old, when you got a tattoo of a butterfly on your breast at 20, and it now looks like an eagle.

You know you are old when you are reading these trying to get a laugh.

An old married couple still love each other very much, but they've lost most of the spark that kept life in bed interesting. One day, the wife was thinking about this while showering and decided to do something about it. When she's done showering she runs down the hallway wet and naked, jumps in front of her husband in his rocker, and shouts, "SUPER p***y!"
He replies, "I'll take the soup, thanks!"

An elderly woman goes to the doctor's office, and she says, "Doctor! I have this terrible problem--I pass wind constantly! Thank heavens it's silent and odorless...but I do it all the time! I've done it several times while I've been talking to you! Can you help me?"
The doctor prescribes her some medicine and tells her to take it for one week, then return to the office. A week later she returns, and cries out in great distress.
"DOCTOR!! What did you give me? I'm still passing wind constantly, but now it's very LOUD and it SMELLS horribly!"
And the doctor says, "Good, we've cleared up your hearing problem and your inability to distinguish smells. Now we'll deal with your flatulence."

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