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 Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:37 pm
It was true that he did have a family and a 'herd' yet it wasn't one whom he traveled with as the young colt tended to wander off by himself trying to escape the cruelty of his mind and find sanctuary from the internal battle that raged within and continued. He had no other friends as even his siblings seemed wary of him and somewhat put a distance between them. It was strange but the young colt didn't dwell on it much and rather ignored such a blatant fact.
He was alone and he did his damn best to try and numb himself from the ever present gnawing of the sting of such a realization from his mind and his senses but it did little good.
Loneliness.
It was a bitter-sweet friend.
The thought haphazardly crossed his mind and he snorted in retort and shook his head, shaking his mind free from the chains and the ensnared ideas that had become entangled and confined to his mind- those that were welcomed and those which the young foal desperately sought to vanquish into the depths of utter oblivion which, sadly, always managed to return and haunt him another day.
To the logic of the mare, Ezriel shrugged his shoulders and flicked his ears slightly. "I try but dangers always one step away- Its not easy to be left alone when you know that if you're found by a certain someone you're done for," he noted with a reserved and low tone.
"Its not just the boldest who explore, those who don't have anyplace to go or are running away have no choice. It's more a sentence and punishment than an opportunity or act of 'bold' personality."
His head sunk low, eyes unwilling to look up. He didn't want to- he couldn't.
The corner of his maw gave a slight wince as the unseen pain of affliction and torment seemed to cause him to grunt and keep his emotions to himself. No one besides his brother would understand such torment and such mistrust he held for the world around him. Ezriel could only wish that it would all go away- that the pain would stop and he could be normal.
But that was something that seemed impossible no matter how many times he silently wished and pleaded to the skies above.
Wasn't there someone who could help him understand this? He needed an angel or even an evil angel to take this from him and help him fend off his inner demons. He was slipping into the darkness, farther and farther, until it would be too late.
Life was not all bliss and happiness- life was cruel.
And Ezriel knew this.
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Posted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 8:01 am
The mare inwardly sighed, studying the white and red-haired horned creature. It was easy to see his heart was heavy and shrouded in some sort of darkness, something that hid the sun and light from the world. Given, Bella understood that her light and sunshine was. . . . excessive, in a sense. Not everyone was irrationally happy and content, not everyone pushed for good, and love to conquer.
There was darkness in the world, which is why she tried her damndest to shine so bright. To make up for the lack of light, to push aside as many shadows and woe and prove that good would indeed someday conquer. Unlike this foal before her, though Bella had lived alone with little guidance, she had never been put in so terrible a position that her faith wavered. Any angst and woe she felt was often for others and rarely her own state - the girl was flawed by being so trustful and open. . . .
It was her own belief that would be her downside.
This little Ezriel was about as broken as Azumoth that was tucked away within the woods. And the fact that his life was so seemingly wretched at such an early age broke her heart. Her ears pricked as he mentioned 'a certain someone'. . . . Did she dare pry and bring up potential bad memories? Why would someone be out to kill him. . .? Didn't his family want to protect him? And who could be so sick to want to destroy a foal, or any soquili!?
Glancing away, the cogs of her mind accepted what Ezriel had to say. He was right, though it upset to to have to say so. Not because of pride, but because it meant that the darkness won, the shadows of this world took hold of yet another aspect of life. "Maybe that loneliness is a punishment, maybe it is a sentence by the crueler fates of the world but. . . . that doesn't mean it will last forever. That doesn't mean that things can't, or won't change. Everything, with enough time and work, can change. . ."
And that she believed. The day changed in to evening, the seasons came and faded in to one another, and such was the soul and spirit of a soquili. Life never stayed the same - even the little snowflakes that fell were different, and how they changed in to ice and water. So perhaps the same could be said for those allegedly punished in to a life of solitude?
"When alone, one never knows whom one might meet and the opportunities that may appear. There's always a dawn, even on the darkest nights." Maybe he wouldn't believe her, maybe he would grow frustrated with her optimism and hope but. . .
There was no reason that he shouldn't hear it.
And if he couldn't believe it himself than at least she, the stranger of the meadow, could believe and hope for him! Goodness knew he needed it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 5:15 pm
"Fates," he spat as he shook his head, ears falling back upon his skull. "Its not a punishment- its an eternal curse and eternity lasts forever. It has no end," he grumbled as he clenched his jaws together, a cloven hoof pawing into the ground. Time had never been on his side- so many vices sought to take away his life or bring an end to it. Every corner there lurked a challenge, every shadow sat a vicious and bloodthirsty creature whose own fangs sought the bitter-sweet, warm, crimson liquid to ooze within its mouth. Revenge was it? Perhaps fate? Destiny? He flared his nostrils and swept his spaded-spiked tail behind him. The pain- he could feel it swell inside of him and cause his forelegs to tremble as his muscles grew tense and taunt.
A growl rose from his small body as he shook his head. Ezriels mind clouded over as the darkness lingered heavily and began to consume him. Yet try as he might, the small colt attempted to fight it, to hold it off as long as he could.
"Darkness," he muttered, his voice more audible than before, "is something no one can ever escape. Wherever light is, the darkness will be there to consume and vanquish its presence. Its too strong, I can't fight it...I- I just..."
Enough of this, the voice hissed within his mind. Leave, run and let the darkness heal your wounds, son of Reaper. Optimisim has no place in this world- she knows no truth of what life is. You know, Ezriel, you know the truth and the trials, the pain and the torment. Why listen to her? Let me ease your mind, let the darkness within numb your torment. I know your pains and so does 'he'.
Crimson brows furrowed as he began backing away slowly, biting his lower lip as he shook his head.
Confusion took hold of him as he trusted within the voice- never waivered no dared to question it at such a time. The small colt felt weak, alone, betrayed and forlorn as a mix of deadly emotions coursed through his veins and ate away at him from within. Hate, he felt hate for the world and for what it had done to him; for making him a fool, a horrid beast for those to mock and fear.
He never wanted this.
His heart raced as his breath fell heavy. Glancing around as he continued to withdraw himself away, he lowered his head slightly and glanced towards the mare.
"I-I gotta go.....sorry," he announced suddenly as he turned around and began hastily trotting to somewhere, anywhere, away from all of this.
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