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 Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:25 am
Justice (refering to Jay): He's sweet.
Jay: Yo, baby! You ever had your a*****e licked by a fat man in an over coat?! *looks at Bob* Yeaaah.
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 8:11 pm
"What the f*** is this s***?! Who the f*** are you, lady?! Why the f*** did you hug my head?! What the f*** happened to that guy's head?!"
(Jay in Dogma)
"What, like the back of a Volkswagon?"
(Brodie in Mallrats)
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:37 am
I have too many to list (or remember, it's been ages since I've rented any of the movies), but you can rest assured that ninety percent of them come from Alan Rickman in Dogma...almost everything he says in that film is comic gold. My faves that I can remember are
-Dogma-
"So you're saying I need to get filled..."
"In more ways than one."
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"Silent Bob is an instrument of God?!"
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-Clerks-
"This job would be great if it wasn't for the ********' customers..."
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"Hey! Try not to suck any d**k on the way through the parking lot...hey! Hey you! GET BACK HERE!"
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"There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?"
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"You knocked the casket over, for Christ's sake!"
"I was just leaning on it, it was an accident!"
"Like someone knocks a casket over on purpose?!"
"So the casket fell over, big deal!"
"Her ********' body fell out!"
"They'll put her back in it, it's not like it matters if she breaks somethin'"
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Yeah ok..that last one is probably my favorite...
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Posted: Thu Apr 13, 2006 2:27 am
Antiarchist rufus: you masterbate more than anybody on the planet jay: every body knows that
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:33 am
Bethany: McEnry is pretty far from Jersey, might I ask what brings you guys to Illinois?
Jay: Some ******** named John Hughes.
Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes?
Jay: You know him too? That ******** guy. Made this flick "16 Candles" right? Not bad it's got tits in it, but no bush. Of course Ebert over here don't give a s**t about that stuff cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy and rents every one of his movies. ******** "Breakfast Club" all these stupid kids actually show up to detention, ******** "Weird Science" where this one chick wants to take off her gear and get down, but aw, no she don't cause it's a PG movie, and then there's "Pretty In Pink" which I can't watch with this tubby ******** any more, because everytime we get to the part where the red head hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little eight-year-old with a skinned knee and s**t. And nothing is worse then watching a fat man weep.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 5:44 pm
Hilde7085 Bethany: McEnry is pretty far from Jersey, might I ask what brings you guys to Illinois? Jay: Some ******** named John Hughes. Bethany: "16 Candles" John Hughes? Jay: You know him too? That ******** guy. Made this flick "16 Candles" right? Not bad it's got tits in it, but no bush. Of course Ebert over here don't give a s**t about that stuff cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy and rents every one of his movies. ******** "Breakfast Club" all these stupid kids actually show up to detention, ******** "Weird Science" where this one chick wants to take off her gear and get down, but aw, no she don't cause it's a PG movie, and then there's "Pretty In Pink" which I can't watch with this tubby ******** any more, because everytime we get to the part where the red head hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little eight-year-old with a skinned knee and s**t. And nothing is worse then watching a fat man weep.
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Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:47 am
Randal (from Clerks:The animated series):Well, so much for Dante and Katilin 2 . . . electric boogaloo. [Randal wiggles fingers on the last two words.]
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 3:57 pm
"Warmp" - God on the Meaning of Life...Dogma...
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Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 7:06 am
Clerks
"Hey what did you rent? ... Best of both Worlds?"
"Homafradidic porn, starlets with both organs ... you should have seen the box chicks with dicks that put mind to shame"
"And you actually watch this"
"Hey, I like to expand my horizons"
Mallrats
"Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel ... their a little melty but damn are they exquiste"
Chasing Amy
"Whats a nubian? ... b***h you almost made me laugh"
"Whats with you screaming black rage I almost s**t myself"
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 6:32 pm
I aim to please, Orangeeful. xD
[/Incredibly late]
-----
T.S. Quint: What's he doing?
Jay: Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy ******** thinks he can levitate s**t with his thoughts.
[slaps the cigarette out of Silent Bob's hand]
Jay: Knock it off.
Brodie: [to Silent Bob] The force is strong with this one.
Jay: Dude, don't encourage him.
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 1:45 pm
I swear I didn't c** in you Pete! - Jay rofl
sorry for the vulgarity wink
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Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 11:59 pm
Randal: It's Hoth cold!
Dante: Move around. Make more Star Wars references, it helps us stay warm.
Jay: Man it's cold in here. Like that planet Hoth in Empire.
Dante: We've already made that Star Wars reference.
Jay: [explaining a magic trick] First, we cut a circle of paper and tape it to the glass. That way the quarter is covered when we put the glass over it. Then we say the magical words "Ala-Kanootch!" and invoke the Dark Lord. Say: "We offer this girl's soul to you, master!" And... the quarter is gone! Ta-da!
Girl: That's great!
Boy: I'm scared.
(However much I hated them making Silent Bob talk so much in those, I loved that little bit.)
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:57 am
I watched a bit of Jersey girl last night and chuckled... I forgot this line.
Gertie:This is my first time going to the VMAs and I look like a whale! All the other girls are skinny.
Ollie: They're only skinny because they're coked out whores.
Gertie: I want to be a coked out whore!
Ollie: You can be. You can be a coked out coked out whore.
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:50 pm
two words.....
salsa
shark
3nodding
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:09 pm
We're gonna need a bigger boat. xP
Hooper: I need to sell the image to sell the book. I mean, would the audience still buy the whole black rage angle if they found out the book was written by a... you know...
Banky Edwards: f*****t?
Hooper: When you say it, it sounds so sexy.
[kisses Banky]
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