Welcome to Gaia! ::

Lavendulan had been sitting on her bed thumbing through pages of recipes in the cookbooks she had bought the day both she and Winter had visited the bookstore. With Fall in full swing and holidays right around the corner, she wanted to find a few things to make for the upcoming special occasions. Something simple preferably as she had limited space, time and resources to cook something too elaborate.

She had read through over four dozen recipes and bent the corner of at least nine pages of ones that looked appetizing when she heard a light tapping on her door. Being as this was to be a leisurely day spent relaxing rather than an evening of training or going on patrol she had half a mind to ignore whoever was out there and hope they left her to her own devices.

However, what struck her as odd was that the quiet voice that she had barely heard through the door had used her civilian name rather than her ‘newly given’ one instead; only two captains knew what it was and she did not have plans with either of them, at least none that she could remember. And so, out of a mix of curiosity and concern, Laven got up and walked across her room to open the door just enough to peer out into the hallway.

What she saw struck a chord of worry inside her that caused her to pause for a moment. “Wolframite?” Her head was canted to the side and brows furrowed in confusion as she opened the door more fully.

There was a heaviness in the air about him with the hallowed look in his eyes. His demeanor was completely the opposite of the time he hands knocked on her door, full of excitement with his tail wagging when he shared the news of his recent promotion. No, this time his tail hung behind him unmoving and ears almost seemed sad in away. It was as if an unwanted weight or burden had been placed upon his shoulders or something devastating had happened.

Fearing the worse, Laven stepped aside and carefully reached for his paw to gently coaxed him insde her room. “It’s ok,” she spoke softly in case he decided to pull away and retreat back across the hallway into his own dorm instead. “Come talk to me.”

There were two chairs in her room, a simple Ikea one at her desk and a comfortable round reading chair in the corner next to the bookshelf. Her bed covers had been mused a bit when she got up since that was where she had been sitting when he knocked on the door but any place he wanted to take a seat would be fine so long as he was comfortable.

Living in such close quarters with other officers it happened often where she could hear bits and pieces of conversations through the walls. Most of the time it was murmured sounds of hushed conversations or the TV volume on low; white noise really that was easy enough to fall asleep to.

However, it went without saying that there were times where it could get loud and it was in those moments that Laven usually either put on her headphones and listened to music or she would simply leave the barracks for a few hours until things calmed down. But she didn’t recall really hearing anything in terms of fighting in the last few days, if anything it had been relatively quiet then again that could be do to the holidays that were quickly approaching.

Laven rolled her chair out from under her desk over the low pile carpet and took a seat in front of him. She reached out to him then, curling her hands around his wrists to move his hands away from his face so she could look up at him and see his face.

Her heart ached for him as she could both see and feel the sadness rolled off him in waves.This was not the first time Marissa had seen him upset, the first time being when he had taken her out while glamoured. Their conversations had threaded too close to topics he did not wish to discuss and in turn had withdrawn deep with himself and recoiled away. Unlike then, where she perceived him to be drowning in past regrets, Laven knew better than to be pushy or aggressive as she had been before.

No, this was a man who was hurting and was trying to reach out in one of the few ways he knew how. She could feel her youma side stir but not in the typical playful way but rather to urge her to softly press her cheek against his in a way that would communicate to his youma side that she sees him. For now she denied that urge and instead rested her chin on his claws and shimply held onto his wrists as an anchor so he didn’t drift too far out to see.

“That feels like an abrupt way to end things.” Her eyes were searching as she looked up at him. “Did you two have an argument?” Laven spoke in soft tones in case he preferred not to talk about what happened right now.

“I believe that your friendship meant as much to him as it did to you.” Even though he only offered fragments of what happened she felt somewhat confident in her statement.

Lavendulan reached out to him and cupped the side of his face so that he would look at her and not the space between them. “Everyone shows affection in their own way. But miscommunication often occurs because we give affection the way we wish to receive it.”

“If your friend showed up after two months bringing gifts then that was likely his way of reaching out to make amends and repair what was perceived to be broken. People like that often cherish the thought and sentiment behind gifts so it could be that he might have been hoping to receive something in return as a way to meet him halfway.” This piece of advice coming from someone who had never been in a relationship before and the closest she’d been on a date was fish tacos in the park. If he was privy to that little bit of information he’d likely just roll her eyes at her. But she had enough friends back in highschool and college to recognize these kinds of things.

“You and I are unique in that we can’t really hold down jobs, our glamour doesn’t allow us the time for that.” Which is one of the reasons she went stir crazy and got antsy often and was why she got over excited when he took her to the rift. “But it also means we don’t really have disposable income that would allow us to simply go buy things whenever we want.” She had a sufficient amount in savings but with storage fees her funds were starting to run low. Soon enough Laven knew she would need to reach out to Samir and ask him to help get rid of the rest of her belongings before she became completely broke and couldn’t afford to buy food.

“Anything we give is usually going to be something we make. But if we don’t feel like they would want or appreciate our craft then we find other ways to compensate.”

“But you show affection differently than he does. What you have to give isn’t something that is tangible; it’s time, undivided attention, or words of affirmation by offering compliments or praise.” Or blunt honesty but that was what she herself had asked for at the time. Nonetheless it was no different than when he came to her room the day of his promotion. Wolframite didn’t come to her seeking gifts, in his excitement he wanted praise for his accomplishment and to do something to celebrate the occasion.

“You tried to seek a compromise to salvage the friendship but by the sounds of it I feel like you two were like ships passing in the night. You each had the same goal but the paths taken were so vastly different that it caused you two to miss the mark.” Laven brought her hand back down to where it had rested against his wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Sometimes friends need time apart and perhaps two months wasn’t quite enough time for wounds to heal.” It sounded like both had been hurt by something the other had said. “But,” She reached out and placed her open palm on his chest right above his heart. “If your friendship with him is something worth salvaging then don’t give up. Not yet.”

“Give it a day or two and let things settle down then reevaluate what it is you truly want. In the end you need to do what’s best for you. If at that time you feel like it is worth trying one more time then reach out to him. If at that point he still doesn’t want to meet you halfway then at least you can walk away knowing that you did everything you could.” It wasn’t a promise that there would be a happy ending. Losing a friend could hurt just as much as losing a limb, it leaves a hole in your heart that is hard to fill and sometimes leaves an ugly scar. But Wolframite was strong and he wasn’t alone in this either.

Lavendulan’s expression shifted as she listened to him recount the events that had occurred between him and this Mali person. It went from hopeful for a better outcome, to concern when he listed off everything that was being asked of him and what all had already been given.

For a fraction of a second, she felt curious when he had mentioned that Mali was trying to help him find a cure and encouraged him to focus on being human. Even though she didn’t talk about them often, those were things she desperately wanted for herself; perhaps a little less now that she was becoming more use to her youma tendencies, less surprised by the childish whims. But like what Wolframite said, she was becoming stir crazy, antsy even, from now long she’s been trapped in the dark kingdom without an outlet for this pent up energy.

But… that’s not something he would ever want.

Wolframite had told her once that this was something he had asked for, to be made an example of for something she didn’t know or understand. Even in the Rift he had seemed somewhat resigned to the idea that he may one day become a full youma. As for being human, aside from his nipping tendencies or physical appearance, he was as human as the rest of them. Then again her perception of that had changed because of a comment he had made where even humans could be uglier, or more terrifying, than monsters.

However, when he started to talk about how quickly he had been replaced by some disreputable individual Lavendulan’s youma side began to stir in agitation. It could be that Mali was in fact attracted to this civilian he had met but it felt more like he was using the man to make Wolframite hurt or upset. No different than pouring salt on an open wound. But Laven also understood that she was only getting one side of the situation and had to quell the anger if only to keep herself from lashing out at this Mali in her friend's defense.

But then the conversation abruptly shifted to her which left Laven feeling a bit unseated and concerned by where this was rapidly going.

His uncertainties and insecurities brought on by this other friendship bled onto their own as his worries came pouring out. Each question came out in rapid succession leaving no time for her to process let alone respond to them. In a sense, it gave her a little bit of whiplash until he abruptly stopped mid-sentence and just fell silent.

Caught in a maelstrom of his own making, Wolframite was spiraling downward but in that same motion also frantically reaching for something to hold on to. And so, without a word, Laven stood up. The back of the chair caught on the rug behind her causing it to clamor to the ground. She let go of his wrists and in that same motion reached out to circle her arms around his shoulders and pull him into a tight hug.

“Breathe,” Her face, she nuzzled against the side of one of his purple pointed ears as one hand was placed on the back of his head. Calmly she ran her claws carefully through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere, just breathe.” If only she could will herself to make the purring sound she had done once before. But her own emotions were pulling violently against one another making it difficult to force herself to make the comforting sound.

Caught off guard Laven paused in her ministrations to consider his question carefully. “I don’t know,” she replied honestly after a moment then continued to comb her fingers through his hair.

“I’m not trying to evade your question, Wolframite, but it’s the truth. As long as I am still a half youma I would be terrified of my family finding out and it would break my heart if they looked at me with fear in their eyes.” She could vividly imagine the horror-filled look in her mother's eyes if she ever caught sight of her scaled body or horns. Just thinking about it made her heart ache terribly in her chest.

“I’ve told you before that you can’t compare me to the people of your past and yet I feel like even if I gave you a definite answer that it would either be validifying your fear or you would assume that I was lying to make you feel better.” It was merely an observation and not an accusation.

“I don’t know how else to make you believe me.” Laven leaned back to look down at him and with one hand removed the silver cuff from her left ear. “I found these earrings in the ruined neighborhoods that surround the Barracks a few months ago but have only tested their magic once with my Captain.” She explained calmly.

“If you wear this, our minds will be connected. You will see what I see, our thoughts will be shared, and you will feel my emotions. However, there is a caveat to keep in mind. It works both ways. I, in turn, will feel your sorrow and pain. Memories can also be shared should we allow it.”

“I am willing to let you in if it will put your mind at ease. You can ask me questions and I will not lie.” If it would keep him from doubting her sincerity then it would be worth trying to use the earrings one more time, but not without his consent.

Lavendulan shook her head, “As far as I am aware neither of us can comb through the memories of the other. It’s not really something used for interrogation but rather a tool for open communication.” Similar to a walkie-talkie or a cellphone but more powerful it seemed. Thoughts came through clearly without interference but more than that was the added emotional aspect; surprise, joy, and sadness to name a few.

“From when I tested them out with Lopezite it was only active thoughts that we could hear; distance didn’t seem to cause any interference. I was able to explore the caves under the reservoir while he was on land; he could see what I saw without needing to go into the water, all the while I could feel his apprehension or awe as if the feelings were my own.” It was strange considering she already had dual emotions to contend with when it came to her human and youma natures, adding a third was downright strange and took a while to process then separate and a while longer to get used to.

“Unless it is pursuant to something we are currently discussing I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” However, if his mind wandered to those topics she wondered if bits and pieces might accidentally slip through. “Lopezite had a pretty good handle on what he transmitted through the earrings so it didn’t overwhelm me. But like I said, I’ve only tried it once and that was almost three months ago. There are a lot of unknowns with it which is why I’m leaving it as an option but won’t push you to wear it either.”

“I don’t mind,” Laven took the ear cuff and pinched it closed just a bit to compensate for his ears being thinner than her own before sliding it onto the side of his ear “We are all a little crazy at some point in our life.” A wave of sorrow and worry crashed down upon her but she seemed somewhat prepared for it and didn’t flinch away. Rather, when their minds synced it was as if there was a dual consciousness beside him; one belonging to the naive girl who had been struggling to find her way while the other belonged to the beast coiled around her lithe form protectively.

Although… There was a slight sadness in her eyes as their began to connect to one another. If you’re worried about what would happen if you push me away then that means you already forgot your promise. The words were not spoken aloud but rather shared through the link they now shared and with it followed the memory of the first time they were glamoured.



Laven placed her hand atop his head for a second. They had argued a bit after that but ultimately he had agreed to her terms and she had no intention of letting him forget about it so easily. With a sigh she took a seat on the edge of the bed beside him rather than picking up the chair. “Why don’t you try asking me those questions again? One at a time please.”