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C.T strained to sit up, despite her wound healing quite nicely actually, there was still this tightness there that irritated her every movement, she wished it would pass already. The water helped though, C.T took a few sips of the bottle Esther offered, it helped to distract her more than anything, but if she could make the pain imaginary than she would, once she was done drinking she removed the bottle from her lips releasing a heavy breath. She had to agree with Esther this did seem very familiar, Esther was once again taking care of her. "Sorry." C.T spoke under her breath a bit ashamed at her weakness, but she wasn't only apologizing for that. She was also apologizing for betraying Esther's trust and slipping out behind her back, though Esther didn't look to angry about that... yet.

"Mag's probably looking to avoid me for a little bit until she's sure I've cooled off, I nearly broke her arm earlier." C.T winced, this time not in pain, but more because of how she had behaved earlier, Mag was her best friend, and had only been looking to do right by her, and C.T treated her like an enemy, she would have to apologize for that. It seemed she was hurting all the wrong people today. Speaking of... C.T eyed Esther again, carefully, the girl didn't seem angry, just concerned, it was kind of disheartening because C.T didn't know just how much trouble she was in with Esther, and she couldn't just ask, "How are you doing?" Well not blatantly at least.

"I do trust you!" C.T argued, trying to lean forward, but again the pain in her side slowed her movements, it reminded her to slowdown, which was probably some advice she needed to take, slowing down, so that she could talk to Esther clearly. "I do trust you Esther," C.T tried again, calm now. "It wasn't because I didn't trust you it just that I..." C.T trailed off, there was nothing she could say, because when given Esther's point of view C.T realized how her actions must of made Esther feel. She didn't want to make Esther feel that way, she had just panicked, after the broadcast, after she had seen how Esther reacted, how Jacob affected them even when he was so far away. C.T had been afraid that Jacob would get to her somehow if they met face to face. She wanted to protect Esther, and her over protectiveness had instead hurt Esther.

"I was wrong." C.T admitted. "I didn't think about how what I was doing would make you feel." C.T said, she placed her hand over her face, feeling like a complete idiot now. "I don't know what else to say." She admitted meekly, she wanted to make promises to never do something so stupid again but she doubted Esther wanted to hear them.

"This is a partnership." C.T echoed with a nod. "From now on I'll think of you before I do anything, you'll never have to worry about me again." C.T promised wishing that her words would be enough, but when Esther told her just how terrified C.T's actions had made her, C.T couldn't help but close her eyes, taking in a deep breath before standing up, clearly favoring her injured side, C.T stood before Mag, before kneeling before her. "I'm sorry." C.T said again. "I'll do anything to make you feel better, anything, just tell me and I'll do it." C.T almost begged, she needed Esther to forgive her, or at least know how sincere she was.

But how could she be focused on forgiveness when Esther said things like that. C.T's heart began to ache, and she couldn't help but smirk just a little, like a hopeless, romantic fool. "I'm not sure if I should apologize about that or not." C.T said, reaching for Esther's hands and standing up. "lay down with me? Please?"

C.T again made sure she was mindful of her injury as she rested on her side with Esther smiling faintly at the girl after the kiss they had just shared. It was promising, maybe Esther wasn't completely angry with her still. "I thought might lose you over this." C.T admitted before expanding. "I thought you would see how I was, when I'm angry, and that it would scare you away from me." C.T said softly, pressing her forehead into Esther's. "I might have been trying to hide that from you, but if I am allowed to be selfish again." C.T said looking into Esther eyes. "I'm really glad that you are choosing to stay with me.

"I've just lost a lot of things in my life," C.T replied to Esther's promise, feeling silly that she had even brought up such an irrational concern. "Not everything that I don't have in this life was taken from me." C.T said honestly, looking at the earring that Esther was allowing C.T to use as a makeshift promise ring, it was beautiful. "I had the chance, to make friends plenty of times, during and after my imprisonment. But I always ran people away, either they were afraid of me and naturally avoided me, or...." C.T took a deep breath. "They were curious, and tried to become close to me, until I showed them that I'd rather they fear me than befriend me." C.T hadn't been in the best of places when she had escaped and Mag had found her, but most of her loneliness was due to her stubbornness to let anyone in. Of course Mag eventually broke me. But for a while all I could do was push people away. Even when they wanted to help me. I pushed you away...." C.T whispered softly.

She looked down at her ringed hand again before smiling."But you're still here by my side." She concluded, looking up now at Esther's face to initiate a kiss for the first time since she had woken up.

"Damn right." C.T laughed when Esther called her the 'dominant one'. But she was beginning to wonder, for the one who was supposed to dominant, she was anything but that when Esther and her had made love for the first time. She remembered how the girl had made her beg, not exactly a proud symbol of dominance. "Well, now it's my job to take care of you." C.T said with a smile.

"It seems that we've both had our fair share of hardships when it's come to trusting people." C.T said with still smiling letting Esther know that she wasn't losing her good mood. "Though I could see you being the rebellious type naturally, I wouldn't have been surprised to find out that you had piercings and tattoo's" C.T said with a little chuckle. "We were both lost it seems. Just glad we both found something to hold on to along the way." C.T said grabbing hold of Esther.

"I don't know." C.T said honestly "Like I've said before, I had planned on just staying here, never really planned on leaving this place just works for me you know?" C.T said with a smile, before her smile faltered a little. "I'm afraid to meet them," C.T said honestly, hiding her face within Esther's neck. "I almost want to call it off, and go somewhere else. I know what he said was bullshit but, what if they don't.... want me. I mean, I'm 22 years old Esther I was just a toddler when they took me, it's been two decades." C.T sighed closing her eyes, running a hand through her hair, now messy from a day's worth of stress. "What if they don't remember me?"

(Twas my birthday on the 28th so people sent me stuff and I tried shoving it all on me avi, the wings are included XD I also spent 20 seconds starring at them because I wasn't sure they actually moved)

C,T couldn't help but smile at Esther's words. "Maybe I am just being silly." She offered, or maybe she had just been searching for comfort, there was something oddly warm and insanely sweet about Esther comforting her, it made her so happy.

"I want them to want me." C.T said softly after Esther had kissed her cheek, "I don't know what it's like to have parents," C.T was slightly panicking now. "Or siblings, I have siblings now, I don't know if they brothers or sister Esther, I don't know how to be a sister." C.T almost pleaded with her girlfriend as if Esther could solve her problems. "What if I'm the oldest, or one of the oldest. What can I tell them? I can't tell them that I used to kill people, or that I used to be addicted to drugs. They are supposed to be able to look up to me."