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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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 Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:15 pm
Oh boldie! We always know when it's you!!! (Or, at least I do...) And yes, I agree puzzles are always nice! I just hate it when you finish a puzzle, and then have to destroy it!!! D:
That's why my Aunt gave me a WOLF (of course!) puzzle with PUZZLE GLUE! for christmas. I've finished it a long time ago, and now it's under the couch waiting to be glued... hm... maybe during Fall break I will glue it. Yes, Puzzles are always wonderful!
I know that some of us might not like numbers and words all that great, but I always find myself constantly reading and/or doing a Japanese puzzle(Such as Suduko, etc.) or Word-searches, cross-words, etc. Logic puzzles. I love those!
Oh my... I just finished off a bottle of Snapple in 5mins... wow. Now I have ta' pee... figures!!! Haha!
Well,
Get Well, and Think Happy!!!
--"L"
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:12 pm
...What's Snapple? I'll think of getting a puzzle, but because my eye sight is going, I can barely see what I'm doing. I'm afraid if I push my eyes then it will just get worse. I do like sudoku though, I do the big print ones. Anyway, I don't want to bore you with another depressing rant, so I'm going to hold that in, and just go. I hope you're having good days etc xx
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:26 pm
bittersweet and evocative I know I was the last one to post, and this comment isn't going to have much substance, but I'm posting because I don't know what else to do. That state of mind that I had managed to somewhat get into, that things had the possibility of turning out ok? Yeah, that's gone down the drain, to the point that I forgot it existed until I was rereading messages in this thread.
I'm out. Seriously. I'm sick of doctors passing me off because they don't know what's wrong. I'm sick of being told that it's "in my head", because there isn't a LOGICAL answer to this. Well guess what? Not everything is freaking logical. (ok that rant was aimed at the doctors, who may hear this message through telepathy or something, not you guys). It's like if the pain wasn't bad enough, just throw disbelief and skepticism on top of it all. Well, I'm done. I may be young, but I can't cope living like this now, let alone as an adult. How am I supposed to get a job? Move out of home? Have a freaking life?
Ugh, this is just too much. Those of you here, Boldie, Madralyn, who have made it as far as you have, and kept on to the faith - you are amazing. I admire you so much, but I don't feel like I have the strength you have, the power. I'm not cut out for this. I love you all, though. So so much.
As in you didn't hit the last ball, and now "you're out"? Nonsense. We're here for you. And I know it's the depression talking. I know this. Don't you think Madralyn and I went through the same thing? Except, Madralyn had CANCER on top of all of this. I did not know her at this time, but that's what she told me. By any means, I'm not here belittling you. I wouldn't do that. But what are your choices? Here, I want you to read this.....
Read this First beyond anything else.
and read this one, too.....
Read this website.
Suicide is NEVER the answer, getting help is the answer.
Therapy and medicines can help most people who have suicidal thoughts. Treating mental illnesses and substance abuse can reduce the risk of suicide.
READ THIS TOO:
Read this.
I don't want to lose you, Ailsa. You have developed a friendship with other people besides us, and I, for one, know who admires you to the tippy top of the mountains. You know Suze_Sapphire, don't you? She just goes on and on, in PM's about how you're so fun to be with, how happy you sound, .... and she has NO CLUE what is going on with you. I, out of respect for you, do not, have not, and will not, tell her your problems. I just mainly listen to her. I mean, yeah, she's a teen-ager, and a bouncy one at that. lol, but I also tell her that you and her should hook-up and be friends. I'm not sure if ya'll did that or not, but I saw the post where she gave you 1/2 of her winnings? Now, that's admiration to me, and she's just a kid. I know, she lives in Tulsa with me, about a few miles away. But we rarely visit.
Stay with us, Ailsa. I KNOW you can get help. I think even Madralyn is trying to do something for you. (I don't know all the details), and I've said it and meant it a few times myself, but I'm still here. I know it's hard. It's something you have to reach deep down inside you. You need time and quiet and in a room with no distractions--and all of a sudden it'll come to you. An answer, maybe, or a glimpse of hope....Or something from the Holy Spirit grabbed your attention. Something will change, I know this. Give it some time. Please. I love you with all my heart, even though we've never met. You're just a cool person with some problems. Believe me, if I could be in New Zealand, I would be. Holding you, rocking you back and forth, stroking your hair, and telling you it's gonna be alright. And you might cry and cry, and that's good. Get it out of your system. It's like having a bad dream. When my daughter was very young, I told her to get some paper and her crayons, and draw that monster onto the paper. She did. Then once she was done, we both walked to the outside garbage can, and I told her to do anything she wanted with that drawing. Rip it, crumple it, (of course-NOT-set it afire), but she did. And she felt so much better. Maybe that's something you need to do. It doesn't matter how good of a drawer you are. Just get those feelings out and put them on paper, and toss it away. Guaranteed, you will feel better, even if your drawing consists of black lines throughout the paper and you're going crazy with just that one color, and if it rips, oh well... it's part of the process. Doesn't matter. NOW TOSS IT IN THE GARBAGE. Tell me if that doesn't do some good.
I love you and you're in God's arms protecting you.
Love, boldie
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:34 pm
Ailsa:: Snapple is a kinda of drink. Actually, it's a company that makes classic stuff (Like iced tea, Kiwi-Strawberry Juice, etc.) and puts it in a bottle with their name and logo. Haha! It's very good. Kinda expensive, but worth it. Anyway!!!
Yes, sudoku is awesome! It gets frustrating when the numbers seen to mock you, but...
boldie::THat paper idea is great! ^.^
Alright... I haven't much to say. I got 2 pumpkins today... I'm gonna carve 'em!!! And I went to the dentist and got yucky impressions for braces. I know it's strange that I'm 17 and just getting them, but... it's gotta happen sometime. I don't know what the delay was...maybe money? I dunno.
Get Well and Think Happy!!!
--"L"
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:56 am
Hey I'm here. Still breathing, not really kicking, and slightly disappointed that I'm still around to feel this unbearable pain, in all sense of the word. But I'm here. Boldie, I went to the three websites you gave me. I have to admit, it was hard to read it, you know? It felt like I would rather be doing something, rather than reading it, but I kept at it, and at some points resolved to sitting on my hands. On the second site, the one with a list, I answered positive to all bar three, if I remember rightly, so yeah. But thank you for caring so much, Boldie. Knowing you're here for me, as well as everyone else, makes it easier. But Boldie, I wish you could hug me, I wish I could cry with someone who actually understands why I'm like this, without the stigma of being "depressed" getting in the way. Does that make any sense?
I better go as it's heading to 11pm, and I haven't even orgnaised my school things for tomorrow. Ugh, the prospect of school is less than appetizing. I am going to try that paper idea tonight. Like, RIGHT now. I really need to do that. I'm looking out my black and red crayons. Or maybe I'll go straight to the vivids. I'm not sure - I'll see whatever I find first. Good night on and all etc xx
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:57 am
bittersweet and evocative Hey I'm here. Still breathing, not really kicking, and slightly disappointed that I'm still around to feel this unbearable pain, in all sense of the word. But I'm here. Boldie, I went to the three websites you gave me. I have to admit, it was hard to read it, you know? It felt like I would rather be doing something, rather than reading it, but I kept at it, and at some points resolved to sitting on my hands. On the second site, the one with a list, I answered positive to all bar three, if I remember rightly, so yeah. But thank you for caring so much, Boldie. Knowing you're here for me, as well as everyone else, makes it easier. But Boldie, I wish you could hug me, I wish I could cry with someone who actually understands why I'm like this, without the stigma of being "depressed" getting in the way. Does that make any sense?
I better go as it's heading to 11pm, and I haven't even orgnaised my school things for tomorrow. Ugh, the prospect of school is less than appetizing. I am going to try that paper idea tonight. Like, RIGHT now. I really need to do that. I'm looking out my black and red crayons. Or maybe I'll go straight to the vivids. I'm not sure - I'll see whatever I find first. Good night on and all etc xx Quote: I am going to try that paper idea tonight. Like, RIGHT now. I really need to do that. I'm looking out my black and red crayons. Or maybe I'll go straight to the vivids
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:08 pm
Lindsy, thank you for your continued support to Ailsa, me and Madralyn. I know there's some other people I would like to come into our conversation. I will write to them, and hopefully they'll get the gist that we're here for them. For everybody!
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:30 pm
You guys are most welcome!!! I am here for support!!!
Ailsa:: I know how that school is a pain. UGH!!!
Well... tomorrow night is Halloween and I am singing at a party that my friend is hosting. Here is the list of songs my BF and I are doing::
Bach's Tocatta--- Bach (My BF is an EXPERT at the piano!)
The Monster Mash---
Hell---
Werewolves of London
Halloween Theme
The Boggie Monster
Somebody's Watching me
The Mummy
The Twilight Zone
Nightmare on my Street
Welcome to my Nightmare
The Time Warp
Don't Fear the Reaper
Halloween
Boris the Spider
Halloween
Grim Grinning Ghosts
Ghostbusters
I Put a Spell on you
Friday the 13th Theme Song
Thriller
Bela Lugosi's Dead
And i'm not naming all the artists... hah! LAZY...
But I am fitting all the songs to my range, you know? So they will be pretty different, yet sound good... difficult!!! And the songs that are all instruments, my BF and some other guys will take care of that...
Let's hope I can stand through it!!!
Well, that wasnt intereting. Oh well.
For the past week my knee has been MEAN~~ in the sense that it is stiff, sore, swollen, and it just plain hurts!!! TT-TT
Well, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! (Eve)
Get Well and Think Happy!!!
--"L"
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:29 pm
A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood You guys are most welcome!!! I am here for support!!!
Ailsa:: I know how that school is a pain. UGH!!!
Well... tomorrow night is Halloween and I am singing at a party that my friend is hosting. Here is the list of songs my BF and I are doing::
Bach's Tocatta--- Bach (My BF is an EXPERT at the piano!)
The Monster Mash---
Hell---
Werewolves of London
Halloween Theme
The Boggie Monster
Somebody's Watching me
The Mummy
The Twilight Zone
Nightmare on my Street
Welcome to my Nightmare
The Time Warp
Don't Fear the Reaper
Halloween
Boris the Spider
Halloween
Grim Grinning Ghosts
Ghostbusters
I Put a Spell on you
Friday the 13th Theme Song
Thriller
Bela Lugosi's Dead And i'm not naming all the artists... hah! LAZY... But I am fitting all the songs to my range, you know? So they will be pretty different, yet sound good... difficult!!! And the songs that are all instruments, my BF and some other guys will take care of that... Let's hope I can stand through it!!! Well, that wasnt intereting. Oh well. For the past week my knee has been MEAN~~ in the sense that it is stiff, sore, swollen, and it just plain hurts!!! TT-TT Well, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! (Eve) Get Well and Think Happy!!! --"L"
You'll do perfectly. I just know it.
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:32 pm
boldie64 A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood You guys are most welcome!!! I am here for support!!!
Ailsa:: I know how that school is a pain. UGH!!!
Well... tomorrow night is Halloween and I am singing at a party that my friend is hosting. Here is the list of songs my BF and I are doing::
Bach's Tocatta--- Bach (My BF is an EXPERT at the piano!)
The Monster Mash---
Hell---
Werewolves of London
Halloween Theme
The Boggie Monster
Somebody's Watching me
The Mummy
The Twilight Zone
Nightmare on my Street
Welcome to my Nightmare
The Time Warp
Don't Fear the Reaper
Halloween
Boris the Spider
Halloween
Grim Grinning Ghosts
Ghostbusters
I Put a Spell on you
Friday the 13th Theme Song
Thriller
Bela Lugosi's Dead And i'm not naming all the artists... hah! LAZY... But I am fitting all the songs to my range, you know? So they will be pretty different, yet sound good... difficult!!! And the songs that are all instruments, my BF and some other guys will take care of that... Let's hope I can stand through it!!! Well, that wasnt intereting. Oh well. For the past week my knee has been MEAN~~ in the sense that it is stiff, sore, swollen, and it just plain hurts!!! TT-TT Well, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! (Eve) Get Well and Think Happy!!! --"L"
You'll do perfectly. I just know it.EDIT: I'm sorry to hear about your knee. Have you ever tried Theragesic? It's a cream that words REALLY good. I bet that would help you. Look in the store. razz
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:18 pm
Just stopping by really quickly. Boldie, I saw that I got a PM from you so I'll go check that now before I do some more study. It's been a bad week - my friend and my Grandad passed away in the space of 24 hours, so I really hope you're all doing better than me. xx
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:58 am
Oh! AILSA!!!! I so sorry!!! TT-TT *hugglez* I hate losing people. I must make you happy... hm... give me a few hours to Pow-wow with a friend of mine and I will come up with something!!!
boldie:: Yes, I sing. I'm pretty good, but tone deaf... haha!!! I need music with me... or get Spam Pire (My BFF) to sing with me... then it works out. Better.
Youtube... hm... maybe once I get a videocamera and/or microphone for the computer!!!
Sorry this post is small, short, and un-colorful, just not much time. Dogs needs bathed... basement needs cleaned... I need to pick a date for my birthday, too! And maybe even make Inventations...
Get Well and Think Happy!!!
~~"L"
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A_Wolf_Drowning_In_Blood Crew
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bittersweet and evocative
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:48 pm
Life is not fair. i don't even know how I describe how I feel. All I can say is that it's too much. Boldie, I know before I said I was ready to leave, but now I'm not only ready, but I want to go. I don't want to go through this any longer. I can't do it.
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Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:10 pm
Hi i want to be a part of your guild i am coming back from 7 days of heck i get so tired of being sick i don't get down much but OMG!!!!!! i have been so down i am 46 and have been sick well i think i was around 13 i have fibromyalgia, rsd it has been some hard times most of my family never believed me i am married for 26 years to a very good man who tries to help but i am sure he gets tired of it too his family never believed me either till one of there kids got it know it is real and know my brother has it so know it is real gets old but i still pray for them all my sister was the only one that i had to talk too god rest her sole she got really sick first and had RSD all through her body and at age 40 her body just could not take any more i have 3 awesome kids but i am at the point that i just can't stand to be me any more i feel so bad i feel like i am so nasty all the time and i hate it i thank you so much for being here and waiting on me this is a very hard thing to do for me all i can do is cry and type after my sister passed my mother was not long after her so i have my daddy and 2 brothers i have a shunt in my head i only had to do that 5 times for them to get it right i live in NC Fayetteville i hope to talk to all of you at some point i have met a few really good friends on here i used to be able to help others but have been off more then on
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Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 3:33 pm
bittersweet and evocative Life is not fair. i don't even know how I describe how I feel. All I can say is that it's too much. Boldie, I know before I said I was ready to leave, but now I'm not only ready, but I want to go. I don't want to go through this any longer. I can't do it.
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