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Sexual Purity 102

Now that you’ve made a pledge to maintain sexually pure until marriage, let’s look at how you can maintain that pledge. When you’re with someone you really care about, and the passion is rising between the two of you, you may not feel as strongly about your commitment to purity as you do right now reading this book.

You can’t do it on your own, that’s for sure! This is where the power of the Holy Spirit comes into play . . . as well as good ol’ accountability with Christian friends, parents and youth leaders. Before we get into how you can keep the pledge you’ve made, let’s first take a quick detour.

What if you’ve already gone too far sexually? Right now is the perfect time to seek God’s forgiveness and ask Him to grant you “spiritual virginity.” Even though you may no longer be a physical virgin, with God’s forgiveness, you can become a “spiritual virgin.” He will forgive your sexual sin and look at you as though you were a virgin. In other words, He transforms you into a “spiritual virgin” and you live in sexual purity from now until you’re married.

But when you seek His forgiveness, make sure you’re doing it with a repentant heart. The attitude of: “I’ll ask God to forgive me for having sex with my boyfriend . . . even though I know I’ll probably have sex with him again next week . . . He’ll forgive me again.”

Guess what — that’s not a repentant heart! In Bible days, when someone saw a friend going the wrong direction, he would shout, “Repent!” . . . meaning, “You’re going the wrong way. Turn around. Change direction. Alter your course!”

If you come to God with a repentant heart and seek His forgiveness for your sexual sin with the attitude of, “Oh, Father, I don’t ever plan on going down that road again. In fact, I’ll go out of my way to build guard rails around my life that will keep me from moving in that direction again” — that’s reflective of a repentant heart. God will forgive and completely forget, and He’ll grant you “spiritual virginity.”

Know It!
Sexual purity isn’t simply saying no to intercourse. Sexual purity is a lifestyle! It involves what you listen to, who you date, how you dress and what you think about.

Read It!
1 Corinthians 5:9; 1 Corinthians 6:13; 1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Corinthians 10:8.

Pray It!
Do you need to seek God’s forgiveness for being sexually intimate outside of marriage? If so, now is a great time to pray!

Sexual Purity 104

Before we move on, let’s stop for a while and recap some important issues regarding sexual purity. Ready for a quiz?

• Does TRUE LOVE really wait?

a. Yes, always.
b. Well . . . if we really love each other, we shouldn’t have to wait.
c. (other)

• We hear the term “SEXUAL PURITY” a lot. But what exactly is it?

a. It means not dating.
b. It’s never going past a kiss.
c. Not having intercourse.
d. Remaining single your entire life.
e. I’m not really sure what it is.
f. I think it’s a bunch of rules we’re supposed to follow when we’re in a dating relationship.
g. It means living in holiness in everything we do — our relationships, our words and our actions.

• God wants us to SAVE sexual intimacy UNTIL MARRIAGE. It’s possible to experience sexual intimacy without having intercourse. Which of the following allow you to experience sexual intimacy? (Check all that apply.)

a. Sitting together on the couch.
b. Resting your hand on his/her thigh.
c. Going to the movies.
d. Lying down together.
e. Sleeping in the same tent while camping together.
f. Making out. (Excessive kissing and fondling.)
g. Riding bicycles together.
h. Playfully slapping each other on the rear.
i. Cuddling on the couch together with his/her head in your lap.

Know It!
Guys and girls don’t think alike. They’re wired completely different. Guys are sexually aroused visually. In other words, what they see greatly affects them! Girls are sexually around through romance. Your goal in a dating relationship shouldn’t be to arouse the opposite sex; it should be to complement his/her relationship with Christ. What you wear, talk about and do all revolve around this!

Read It!
1 Corinthians 5:9; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3.

Pray It!
Ask God to point out anything you’re doing sexually that’s not right with Him. Seek His forgiveness and commit this area to Him today.

Sexual Purity 106
God desires for you to someday look back on your life and have no regrets sexually. If you become sexually intimate outside of marriage, you will regret it. If you don’t regret it, you’re not living with a clear picture of God’s will for your life as outlined in His Holy Word. He can help you live a life with no sexual regrets.

Check out this verse of Scripture from The Message: “I’ll not deny my integrity even if it costs me my life. I’m holding fast to my integrity and not loosening my grip—and, believe me, I’ll never regret it” (Job 27).

Wow, Job was determined, wasn’t he! Is integrity and sexual purity that important to you? If so, you’ll want to live your life with that same kind of determination. Job lived a life of no regrets; you can, too!

Let’s unpack that thought and put it into everyday terms. How does this apply to real life?

• A close friend of the opposite sex suggests you do something you’re not comfortable with.

a. You’ll someday regret saying no.
b. In the long run, you won’t regret saying no.

• You’re at a party and someone brings in the beer. Everyone starts drinking. You politely refuse.

a. Years from now, you’ll look back on this day and regret saying no.
b. You’ll never regret saying no.

• You’re out with friends on a Friday evening and they suggest a specific movie. You know your parents — and God — wouldn’t want you to see it. You decline. They give you a hard time.

a. You’ll regret saying no.
b. You’ll never regret saying no.

Know It!
When your integrity is at stake (as it always is in morality), you’ll never regret saying no! You’re worth waiting for! Get it? You’re WORTH waiting for! Say no to going out with someone who doesn’t share your faith and your morality; you’re worth more! Don’t give in to the pressure of drinking; you have a higher calling on your life! Refuse to settle for a lack of convictions; God dreams bigger for you! You’re worth waiting for! Repeat: I’m worth waiting for!

Read It!
Proverbs 2; Proverbs 3:1-8.

Pray It!
Ask God to help you develop a lifestyle of integrity and to give you the strength and wisdom you need to make the right decisions in the midst of a tough situation.

To Party or Not to Party

“Hey, Joel!” TJ said as he slapped his pal on the back. “Can you give me a ride to Dustin’s party Friday night?”

“Sorry, TJ. Not goin’ ”

“Oh, wow. Man, I was sure you’d been invited. No prob. I’ll talk to Dustin. Probably just an oversight.”

“It’s okay, TJ. I was invited. But I’m not going.”

“What? You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope. I’m not going.”

“Joel, what gives? This party’s gonna be huge!”

“Yeah, I know. But there’s also gonna be alcohol there, TJ. I’ve made a commitment not to go to any parties where alcohol is served.”

“That’s crazy, Joel! You don’t have to drink it. Why miss out on a great party just because of alcohol? You can still go!”

“That’s what I used to think, TJ,” Joel said. “I started out going to parties just to be there. And I always told myself I wouldn’t drink — and I didn’t for the first few times. But the more I went, the tougher it got to say no. So I started drinking. And after talking and praying with Pastor Steve about it, I rededicated my life to Christ and am committed to staying completely away from alcohol.”

“I still don’t get it. I mean, what happened? Are you telling me that you became an alcoholic after a few drinks?” TJ asked.

“No, I wasn’t an alcoholic,” Joel explained. “But alcohol started to become important to me. My focus on God shifted to other stuff.”

“So, are you saying it’s wrong to drink?” TJ questioned.

“Yeah, man. That’s what I’m saying. I’ve promised God I’ll never drink again, and I’m gonna keep that commitment.”

“I still don’t get it, Joel. If we just drink a little now and then, what’s the big deal?”

“TJ, talk to Pastor Steve. He’s got some good insight on this whole thing. He can help you see the whole picture instead of just a couple of drinks.”

“Well, I’m going to the party!”

“TJ, we’ve been friends a long time. You know I care about you, Man.”

“Yeah, so what are you saying?”

“I’m asking you to talk with Pastor Steve before you go to the party. Will you do that for me? For yourself?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll talk to him. But I’m still goin’ to the party.”

Know It!
God desires that you not take part in any kind evil. Seek His strength in fleeing from the very appearance of evil.

Read It!
Matthew 6:13; Matthew 26:41; 2 Timothy 2:22-23; 2 Timothy 4:18.

Pray It!
Admit to God that you’re often weak when tempted with doing things that everyone else is doing. Ask for His strength to say no.

What’s the Big Deal About Alcohol?

TJ played with the straw in his Coke while Pastor Steve wadded up a napkin and tossed it in the trash. “Lots of kids at my school drink,” TJ said. “I’d never become an alcoholic, but I’m not so sure that a few drinks every now and then are wrong.”

“TJ, how do you know you won’t become an alcoholic?” Pastor Steve asked.

“I just know.”

“That’s not good enough, pal. Rehab centers are filled with people who said the same thing. The truth is, you can’t be sure a few drinks now and think won’t lead you to alcoholism.”

“But, Pastor Steve . . . I still don’t get what the big deal is. I mean, even Jesus drank! In fact, His first miracle was multiplying the wine at someone’s wedding.”

“Yeah, you’re right, TJ. And that’s the first argument every Christian teen uses when they’re trying to rationalize alcohol.”

“Well, it makes sense, doesn’t it?”

“No, it really doesn’t. Again, you’ve gotta see the whole picture,” Pastor Steve said. “And you’re only seeing that Jesus drank.”

“Well, what else is there to see?” TJ asked.

“The thing you need to understand,” Pastor Steve said, “is that Jesus didn’t create some kind of drunken orgy at that wedding. In the Greek language — the language in which the New Testament was written — there are two words for wine. One is sikera, which means ‘strong drink.’ And the other is oinos, which was about one in 20 (at the most a half percent) of alcohol.”

“I don’t get it,” TJ said.

“What Jesus made was not sikera,” Pastor Steve explained. “He didn’t make American beer. He didn’t make American 12 percent wine coolers. He didn’t make 30 percent Jack Daniels. What He made was biblical oinos, which was grape juice with a tiny bit of fermentation for purification. When Jesus turned water into wine, we need to understand that it was not the wine people are drinking today.”

“I never knew that,” TJ said.

“The Bible always condemns strong drink—sekira— strong drink. Jesus didn’t make sekira.”

“Man. That puts a whole new spin on it,” TJ admitted.

“It always does when you look at the big picture.”

“Look, I don’t want to do stuff that God doesn’t want me to do. I just wasn’t sure this was that big of a deal.”

“It is a big deal, TJ. Any time you mess with your witness, it’s a big deal. The question you need to answer is: Do you want to be known for the fact that your relationship with Christ makes you different? Or do you want to be known for fitting in?”

“Jesus. I wanna be known for following Jesus,” TJ said. “Think you could open the youth center for some hoops this Friday night? I’m gonna need an alternative to that party.”

“You got it, TJ!”

Know It!
God wants to help you develop and maintain a strong, pure and holy reputation. Will you let Him?

Read It!
1 Corinthians 1:2; Colossians 1:22; Ephesians 5:3; Hebrews 10:10.

Pray It!
Ask God to give you the courage to stand alone — if need be — for Him.

The Master Clown Part II

Before the Master Clown sent his trained clowns out to perform, he took them aside and warned them that many people would try to imitate them. “Some will pretend they, too, are clowns,” he said. “Don’t be taken in by them. And others will even wear masks to fool the world into thinking they’re something they’re not.”

“Master, will we be able to tell who the phonies are?” one asked.

“Yes,” the Master Clown said. “The only way a person can become a real clown is to come to me and ask me to make them a clown, just as I have done with you.”

The 12 clowns were sent out in pairs to various regions to bring laughter to the hopeless. And sure enough, just as the Master Clown had predicted, one of the followers ran into someone trying to fool an audience into believing he was a clown. He had painted his face and looked like one of the real clowns, but his humor was lacking something.

Matt, one of the Master’s clowns, pulled him aside and said, “Don’t you realize you’re not a clown?” The actor hushed him and warned him not to talk too loudly.

“But it’s so easy to become a real clown,” Matt continued. “I know the Master Clown personally. I trained under him. I can introduce you to him, and he’ll gladly make you into the kind of clown he needs you to be.”

“I don’t have time today,” the actor replied. “Maybe tomorrow.”

Matt didn’t give up so easily. “Don’t put it off. Please come to him now!” But the actor refused to listen and headed for his dressing room.

Phil, another clown who had been trained by the Master, soon ran across a phony as well. This actor was dressed in a bright purple clown suit accented with huge pink polka-dots. He sported a wig that was so blue, it looked as if someone had spilled a bucket of paint on his head. He stood on a street corner attempting to juggle tennis balls for the small audience who had gathered.

The tiny crowd quickly grew impatient, and the actor struggled to hold their attention. Disappointed and frustrated, the handful of people finally left. Phil approached the actor.

“Why are you pretending to be something you’re not?” he asked. “You don’t have to pretend any longer. I know the Master Clown. Let’s go talk with him right now.”

“Oh, no!” the actor begged. “I could never talk to the Master! He’s so professional. So famous. He’d never want to meet me!”

“That’s not true,” Phil insisted. “He loves people — all people. And he’d love to help you become a real clown. Just imagine—you’d never have to pretend any more!”

“I can’t,” the actor replied. “I’m just not good enough.”

“Neither was I when I first met him, but he changed me!”

“No. Not yet,” the actor said. “Some day. Some day when I’ve polished my act . . . then I’ll seek out the Master Clown.”

Know It!
God, the Master of the universe, accepts you just as you are. But He loves you too much to let you stay that way. In love, He wants to help you become the very best you can be!

Read It!
Galatians 1:10; Ephesians 3:7; Ephesians 3:20-21; Philippians 4:4-5.

Pray It!
Ask God to help you see yourself clearly in relation to Him. Have you truly come to Him just as you are? Or have you been making excuses, putting off approaching the Master?

Thou Shalt Not Make Unto Thee Any Graven Image

We usually don’t think a lot about this particular commandment, but many Christians are guilty of breaking it. Let’s flash back to the days of the caveman. Primitive cultures felt it was difficult to place faith in a God they couldn’t see, so they made things to help their imagination bring God into their worship. That’s not wrong — yet.

You may have a variety of versions of the Bible. You might have a few different devotional books. These help bring you into the presence of God. Your church may have an altar or a cross that helps you focus on who God is. None of these aids are wrong — yet.

The music, the sermon, your church building are all designed to shift your attention to God and to help guide you into worship with Him. If none of these aids are wrong, then where’s the danger? They can become wrong if we start to worship them instead of God Almighty.

Christian music is great; but if that’s what you’re worshipping, you’ve made a graven image out of it. It was designed to bring you closer to God — not to come between you and God. It’s also easy for people to love their church so much, they begin to worship it. It’s not First Community Church that saves us. It’s the GOD of that church who saves us.

Many Christians enjoy wearing jewelry that reflects their faith. But if the cross, fish or T-shirt you’re wearing starts to mean more than it should — a simple piece of metal or cloth — then you’ve allowed it to become a graven image.

The Bible tells us that God created us in His image. Since we find it tough to live up to His image, we often try to make Him fit our image. We rationalize that it’s much easier to make God like ourselves than for us to truly be like Him. Why not simply reduce Him to our size instead of changing our lifestyle and allowing Him to make us godly people? After all, change may require repentance, walking away from a relationship, giving up a habit. When we do this, we’re making a graven image out of our Creator.

God calls us to become like His image. That’s part of the process of holiness. When you think of God, what image comes to your mind? You’ll eventually become like that image. So if you have the wrong image of God, you’re in a dangerous place. The perfect image of God is found in His Son, Jesus Christ.

Know It!
After the famous sculptor Thorwaldsen had finished his statue of Christ, he invited a friend to view it. The arms of Jesus were outstretches, and His head was bowed between them. The friend said, “I can’t see His face.” The sculptor replied, “If you would see the face of Christ, you must get on your knees.”

Jesus is the only true image of God. Determine to have no other!

Read It!
Exodus 20:4; Genesis 1:27; Matthew 16:16; Luke 6:13.

Pray It!
Ask God to give you the right image of Himself and to erase all false or graven images you may have collected in your life.